


I Belong to You Everyday

by justeeynocampo



Category: Polca, Taynew
Genre: Fanfiction, M/M, taynew - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:06:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 27
Words: 114,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25961806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justeeynocampo/pseuds/justeeynocampo
Summary: A TayNew au fic where New has the ability to see someone's life span. The catch is, his ability only works for people who is very close to him. One day, he is with his friend watching the television when he saw Tay...and his remaining days.They don't know each other is one mystery,Tay only has 9 months left on his life span is another.What is the reason behind the fact that he can see Tay's remaining days? Will he do something about it?
Relationships: Petekao - Relationship, TayNew - Relationship
Comments: 14
Kudos: 52





	1. Prologue

PROLOGUE

“Help!”

My vision is blurry and I am doing my best to walk. Earlier, I am at my grandparents’ house to celebrate my grandpa’s 65th birthday. Grandma cooked my favorite food and they even rented a karaoke machine so that we can sing all throughout the day. 

I did not expect that this day will end this way. It was supposed to be a celebration but instead, I am now running for my life, asking for help. I can smell the gasoline and I’m afraid something will probably explode in any moment.

There is no visibility on this dark road. 

I felt a liquid running in my forehead. Blood starts to flow which I just wiped it with my t-shirt. 

I don’t wanna die. I still want to fulfil my dreams.

Shouting for help is useless. No one can hear my weak voice. I decided to go back to our car and check for my grandpa. 

“Help!” 

I opened the door and placed my ear on my grandpa’s chest. He is still breathing but it is weak. I then felt something is caressing my head. He is trying to open his eyes. “Hang on there, grandpa. I already called for help. They are already on their way.” I lied to him.

“N-New,” he said weakly. “Please take care of your grandma for me okay?”

“No, just wait a little more grandpa. They are already on their way,” I plead. I can see it in his face that he is in deep pain. I then unbuckled his seatbelt and unbuttoned his polo in hope that it will help him breath. I was already on the third button when I saw something on his left chest. 

00:00:00:00: 01:06

I am stunned. I already saw these numbers before and every second, the last number is changing. It’s like a countdown or something.

00:00:00:00: 00:45

I can feel my tears piling up because I think I already know what is going to happen. My grandpa then opened his arms like he wants to hug me for the last time.

00:00:00:00: 00:20

He pats my head and felt a kiss on my cheeks. It was supposed to be for my grandma. She should be the one receiving his final kiss not me. Then tears start to run down my face.

“Don’t forget to take care of yourself, New.” 

“GRANDPA!” I opened my eyes and saw Mild looking at me worriedly. 

“Are you okay?” she asked. I got up and felt my face is dripping in sweat. “I will get you a towel and water. I heard you mumbling something and I’m trying to wake you up.” She handed me a white face towel and poured water in a glass.

“I’m good. Thank you,” I replied. 

“You dreamed about your grandfather again?” she sat in front of me while holding the glass I just emptied right now. I needed that drink.

“Today’s his birthday and death anniversary. I’ve been dreaming of that day for the past fifteen years.” I took a deep breath and tried to smile. By the way I am at Mild’s house right now. She’s my best friend for seven years and we met because my classmate who happens to be her ex boyfriend. 

“Well, maybe we should lit a candle later for your grandpa. But for the meantime, you have to help me.” Her tone changed.

“Help with what?” I pouted my lips.

“What can you say about these designs?” she laid her laptop in front of me and I saw three pictures. I rolled my eyes when I saw that she made designs for her celebrity crush, again. “Which one do you think Tay will like?” 

“To be honest, I don’t know. I’m not him.” I replied disinterestedly.

“I know. But I trust your taste. So, what do you think?” Her smile is not fading even though I already turned her down. She knows I will still help her.

Mild started this ‘obsession’ last year with Tay or Tawan, I don’t know what his real name is. When her and Joss broke up, she found something to distract herself into. Watching dramas. And then cue in this tall, dark, not so handsome actor that captured her heart. His acting is good, but I don’t know why he is always playing a role of douchebag. I can name all the dramas that he had where his character is this straight in your face, I am not interested in you at first, I will fell in love with you later kind of role. 

Is he not open for any challenging role or something?

I’ve never seen him in person. Mild always invites me to go with her on Tay’s fan meets and mall shows, but I have no time for that. My best friend is your average fan girl, who happens to invest a lot of money on her idol.

“You already sent him flowers, and shirts. Why not chocolates this time?” I am lurking on the details of her designs which is beautiful by the way, if Tay’s face is not in it.

“He’s really not into sweets. And besides, I don’t want him to gain weight. I’m okay with his body right now.” She is now holding this pillow with Tay’s face on it. I bet she always hugs that every night, but drowning with saliva every morning. 

I’m sorry to that man.

“To be honest, these are great designs. But if you want to give him something he can use, don’t send him anything with his face. You know, something that he can wear. Haven’t you noticed; he never wore anything with his face on it?” 

“You’re right. Oh my god, why I didn’t notice that.” I rolled my eyes and gave back her laptop. She then went into a do not disturb mode which will take hours for sure.  
After hours of redesigning, she finished her artwork and it turned out very well. She did a design of a whale or something. I don’t know why she come up with that but it is surely eye catching and wearable once it’s printed on a plain shirt.

It’s Saturday evening and I am sleeping over here at Mild’s crib. I am busy reading a book while she is waiting for her favorite drama to air. Based on last week’s teaser, Tay’s character will be reconciling with the protagonist after he learned that she didn’t lie to him. But the thing is, the girl is so dumb, she wants to end everything by jumping off the river just because Tay didn’t believe her. Stupid decision to make if you’ll ask me. 

Every weekend I am staying at Mild’s because I am living alone right now in my condo unit which is a gift from my parents on my 21st birthday. I don’t have any work right now since I am a freelance model but thank God, I know how to manage my living expenses. I have my savings and it can sustain me for the next six months, I guess.

When Mild’s favorite drama is about to start, I know that her screams and commentaries will just distract me from reading, so I decided to play games on my phone. Just like what I expected, she is now cursing the girl protagonist for her decision. I don’t have to look into the television screen to know what is going on because Mild is just screaming.

“Run, Tay! She is going to jump the river already!” Which I assume is only around five feet deep. She’ll broke her leg for sure, dumb girl.

Then a series of screams from Mild echoed the room. So basically, Tay saw the girl jump from the river but he is too far away. Tay run as fast as he can and take note, jumped on the river too. She saw the girl unconscious and carried her. The next sequence is just from the girl’s point of view, seeing Tay trying to do a CPR on her. 

She woke up in the hospital and like what I said earlier, she indeed broke her leg. She is looking for Tay and her friend told her that he is in the CR changing. 

The next sequence, Tay is looking in the mirror shirtless. The cameraman is really emphasizing his abs but what catches my attention is the thing on his left chest.

“Tay, had a tattoo?” I asked Mild.

“What are you talking about?” For sure, her eyes are feasting right now. “He doesn’t have any tattoo.”

When I heard her said that, the camera focused more on his chest. I think saw this thing on his chest before. Reality hits me in the head when I realized that it is the same thing that I saw on my grandfather’s fifteen years ago. 

00:09:23: 47:35

0 years, nine months, twenty-three hours, forty-seven minutes and thirty-five seconds.

I can see Tay’s lifespan right now and the seconds are decreasing. I am in disbelief right now. I can feel my hands are starting to sweat. I have an ability to see someone’s lifespan. But the thing is, I can only see it if they are someone close to me or important. I already saw Mild’s before and she will live for fifty-five more years or something. 

But how come that I can see Tay’s? We literally haven’t saw each other yet. He doesn’t even know about my existence probably.

“A-Are they still filming this drama, Mild?” I asked her.

“No, I think they finished filming eight months ago. They finished filming before airing. Why are you asking by the way?” 

I grabbed the remote on her hand and pressed the freeze button. I am checking the thing on his chest if that number is really his life span or maybe some error from the television or something.

00:09:23:15: 46:20

“What are you doing, New? Are you interested in Tay’s boobs too?” She teased me. “Should I welcome you now to the club?” 

I cannot believe it. It is really his lifespan. Why I can see his? 

“When will be his next fan meet or mall show?” I want to see it for myself. I am looking at him in the television right now. His remaining days is a shocker, the mystery of seeing it is another.

“On Wednesday he has a fan meet. You want to come with me? I’ll ask for another VIP pass for us if you want.” She knows someone from Tay’s management. She is actually friends with some actresses and actor. She can just barge in the building to meet and talk to him directly, but I guess she just want to live her lowkey fan life.

“I’ll come with you,” I affirmed.


	2. The Encounter

THE ENCOUNTER

For other people, seeing someone's remaining days must be a curse but for me, I was raised by my grandmother to see things in a different light. She was a fortune teller. She is a tarot reader when she was still alive. I guess in exchange for her talent in seeing someone's future, I'll be bearing for the rest of my life this capability of seeing someone's demise.

Not going to lie, I once wished that instead of the fate of the people I am close with, I'd rather want to see the remaining days of a stranger. I can just easily shrug it off and don't care about it.

Seeing the remaining days of those people who is very dear to me is a blessing instead of a curse. I can prepare myself for what will happen rather than being surprised all of a sudden.

Classmates, previous workmates and bosses, friends and family members. All of them, I either saw accidentally their body counter or I really want to see what will their fate be.

Their common denominator is that I spent years of my life with them. I got the chance to develop a bond that I know will last for a lifetime. And shared some moments that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

That is why last Saturday, I was confused and shocked to see the body clock of a stranger. Worst, it is from Tay Tawan who I have zero interaction with. He does not even know my existence for Pete's sake. This is the moment where I wished I learned how to read tarot cards because for sure I won't do this much effort of attending his fan meeting just to clarify things.

I really hope it is just an editing error on their part because I do not know what I will do next. So, what if I can really see Tay's fate, what will I do next?

"Hi Tawan, I can see your remaining days. You have less than a month to live. I hope you'll cherish your days okay? Bid farewell to your fans if possible so that they won't be sad and shock about your passing. Okay?"

New, you sounded like a psychopath there. It is not a good idea. And how sure are you that you can even talk to him? For sure he has a bodyguard or something.

Should I create a troll account on twitter and spread a rumor? Well if I confirmed it though, it is not a rumor anymore. I have never been wrong on predicting someone's death.

Wait, that is not good to hear, chile. Sorry.

Well, for sure he'll do a strip tease later in the fan meet to satisfy his horny fans. I don't have to read a tarot card to predict what will happen later. After last weekend's episode, for sure fans will demand him to remove his shirt. So, I don't have to meet him personally. We are sitting in the front row seats meaning I can easily see his body.

Why do I sound excited to see him strip his shirt? Jeez.

Mild and I will meet first in a local coffee shop near the venue of Tay's fan meet. She is on her way and will arrive in ten minutes. I can see different posters, shirts and gifts from Tay's fans club. I think there will be jampack audience later at the arena. They are really a big spending for buying flowers, cake and stuffed toys for him.

When I arrived at the coffee shop, I decided to order first a cake since I haven't had my lunch yet. I bought a triple chocolate cake and Mild's favorite frappuccino drink. While eating this piece of cake, I noticed that fans are starting to line up.

Tay is handsome, no wonder why he has so many fans. But with regards on his acting, he's okay. Is he deserving for the popularity that he has right now? I mean he worked hard since his debut two years ago. It is just that, his acting has no progress at all. He is always accepting roles that is like a continuation of his previous role.

He seems like he is stuck on his comfort zone.

Just like what I told you, Mild has connections. Some of the rising actors and actresses are close with her because it's either they became batchmate with her during college or they attended the same faculty.

Mild used to act as an extra for some series but when she started her Master's degree, she stopped doing that in order to focus on her studies.

It is quite amusing that she can balance her school works and fangirling life.

Thank God, she did not bother to ask me some questions about why I want to go with her all of a sudden.

"New!! I'm so sorry for making you wait. Traffic from south is so hectic, gosh." The first thing I heard when she arrived.

"Traffic would not be that heavy if Tay's management decided to held this fan meeting in a different arena. This mall is literally in the middle of the city." I said to her while she is fixing her things.

"Mook and I had a videocall yesterday and she told me that this fan meet is not really planned out well. They need to compromise his schedule because he will be having a read through later after the event. This venue is the only available for today." She explained while applying powder on her face. Read through, for a new drama?

"Read through? Tay will have a new drama again?"

"Well apparently they will launch a new couple next year and they want to see if the role is fit for him. So, they will test the chemistry by doing a read through later. Maybe a workshop etc." She replied. "Get this, you know what his role will be?"

"Mark Sutthitipong Part 2?" Mark is Tay's name on his current drama.

"Silly! No. He'll be doing a boy love drama and he'll be partnered with Gun." She whispered.

I raised my eyebrow when I heard what she said. Oh, so he's going to star in a bl drama. That kind of genre is in demand these days. When that drama about a hazing leader from Engineering department and his junior became a hit, MGM Entertainment released a bunch of teasers about their upcoming drama line up last year. They are expected to produce at least three BL dramas this year. The casts are not yet announced and hearing this news, I think it will be a huge career defining moment for Tay if ever.

"There are many Gun in the BL industry though. Which Gun are you talking about?" We have Gun Chanagun, Gun Korawit and Gun Atthaphan

"Gun Atthaphan!" The best actor of MGM Entertainment. Give him any drama scenes and he'll surely deliver well. He is good at crying and dramatic scenes. The problem is what if he overshadowed Tay though? If I will grade them, Gun is A+ while Tay is around C only.

"I think that is not a good idea though. Gun Atthaphan is like the best actor of MGM and this will be first time for Tay to act in a BL series. For sure he'll be overshadowed by Gun." I replied while slicing the cake.

Yes, Gun is the best but the chances the it will be a Gun Atthaphan show is high. Specially if it is a drama series. When it comes to chemistry, I think they will be a cute couple.

"They are looking for fresh faces and they decided to invite Tay for a screening. Mook told me to audition for a small role since my load this semester is not that heavy. I am actually considering her offer since she knows the casting director." Now, she is interested with being extra to this drama with Tay. I guess she wants to grab the chance since she is not that busy nowadays.

"Well, I hope the best for you later. You've been there done that it already, who knows maybe you'll be casted as one of Tay or Gun's friend. Give it all." I told her in full support.

"That's the thing. Can you come with me so that you can drive for me?" She said. "I don't want to ride a cab during late time you know. Don't worry, I'll hook you up with Mook so that you will not get bored."

"Hook me up with what?" I am confused.

"No that came out wrong. What I mean to say is that I will leave you to Mook. You can roam around the building of MGM. Actually, Jumpol is back in Bangkok, did you know that?" P'Off is back from his vacation? I thought he'll be spending his birthday in New Zealand though?

"No, I did not know that. He did not mentioned it to me the last time we talked," I opened my Line to see if he left me a message that I did not noticed. There is none.

Off is also an actor of MGM Entertainment and just like Tay, they were introduced two years ago. The only difference between them is that Off is a versatile actor, Tay is not. Off starred in different dramas and accepted various roles. Acting wise he is good.

Some of the MGM artists are either our senior or junior. In our case, P'Off is one year ahead of us that time. He is a member of drama club that time and that's how we met him.

Our last conversation was last week. I messaged him asking where he is.

"He's not responding to my text." I told Mild. That's odd. Usually he'll reply instantly.

"Well, we need to talk to him because the tea is, he returned alone." Mild is such a gossip, really. She then smirked and pouted her lips like she is telling me something telepathically.

"No, that can't be true," I said in disbelief. When he left for New Zealand, he planned to celebrate their anniversary there. But knowing that Off returned alone, that is a possibility.

"That's the tea sis. He returned alone, without Prae." She dropped the bomb.

"They broke up? Two weeks before their second anniversary?" What happened?

"We need to confirm it to him later. That's why you need to go with me and drive for us. Because it's going to be a very long day," she said enthusiastically.

"Now that you said that. I'll definitely go with you. I don't want to be left hanging with this information." I told her while finishing the last bite of cake on my plate.

Because we are holding a VIP passes, we managed to enter the arena in a bliss. We are seating in front row like a boss. His fans start to cheer when a video presentation appeared in the LED screen. Basically, it is a fan made edit and it's like a gift from the fans to Tay.

Tay's smile is really contagious. I do not really follow his journey because I am not a fan but seeing this videos and pictures from their previous fan meet and interviews, I can say that his smile can really bright up your day.

Not my day though.

Then the emcee appeared to hype up the fans. The cheering for Tay became louder. It's like the whole fandom is here or something.

Apparently, this is a thanksgiving fan meet. Which explains why they also decided to held it here. I think there are more than five thousand fans here right now. Mild told me to take some pictures of Tay, so she handed me her camera.

When Tay was introduced, that's when the whole arena went wild. He is wearing a black shirt inside, white coat and pants. He is smiling and waving to his fans. It seems like he is also quite teary seeing him on screen.

While he is thanking his fans for coming today, it crossed my mind that maybe he is sick and he knows his days are fast approaching which is why he held this thanksgiving concert. Reviewing the photos that I took it is quite heart breaking to see him smiling when it is evident on his eyes that he is not okay. Maybe the fans cannot see it from a far or in the LED screen but zooming at these pictures, I can definitely feel that he is not okay.

Or maybe he is just tired. New, you haven't confirmed anything yet. Don't jump into conclusions.

Like what the emcee mentioned earlier, there are some special guest that will come today. Some of them are either he worked with in the past, co-star with or very close friend from the industry. They are all happy seeing Tay right now and celebrating this moment with him. They also gave him their support for his upcoming project. Their messages are so vague that I guess everyone will not understand. With the exclusion of Mild and I of course.

For the past two hours, I am just taking some pictures just like what Mild asked me to do. They are just having fun right now on stage and there are lucky fans who managed to play with Tay on stage. He also sang them a song which if I am not mistaken is a song from Musketeers.

I told Mild that I have to go to the comfort room first. I then asked the guard where the CR is and he told me the direction. After I pee, I washed my hands and went outside. I felt thirsty so I opened my bag to get my water jug. I was drinking while walking when someone bump into me causing a ricochet of motion, spilling all the water to that person.

I was shocked to see a person looking at me, and he is not happy about what happened. He is holding his phone and it is also wet right now. I assumed that he is using it, texting while walking. He is focused on his screen that he didn't noticed he's approaching in my direction.

It's like my soul left my body for a moment when I realized it is Tay who bumped me or I bumped into. I don't know who is the perpetrator.

"I-I'm sorry," I told him. The initial thing I did is to look for something to wipe the mess. I pulled out a black t-shirt unknowingly that it is Mild's gift to him. "Ah, I'm really sorry. I did not saw you because I was drinking water." I explained.

"Next time, stop walking while drinking. And how come you are here. This is a VIP area only." Okay, I am not liking his tone. Is this how he treats other people? I am quiet outside but with his attitude right now, my blood is starting to boil.

I showed him my ID. When he saw that I am wearing a VIP ID, his face suddenly changed. I guess thought that I am a fan or something.

After what happened? I guess I will never be his fan. I can only imagine his reaction if he bumped into someone who is unknown. Like a crew or something.

"Tay, we'll start in two minutes." I guess that's the director of the show.

"I'll be there," he replied. He then focused his attention to me. "T-Thank you for this."

I just nodded and started to walk back inside the arena without looking back because the tension is real.

"What's with your face? You look so tense or something." Mild asked.

"Nothing. I guess I'm hungry or something." I told her while faking a smile. She then nodded and did not bothered me anymore.

When it is time for the curtain call, the emcee called Tay for the closing of the event. He is wearing the same shirt but I guess it was replaced because it is dry right now. After he thanked everyone for coming today, a series of chants from his fans echoed the arena. They want him to take off his shirt and throw it in the audience.

He just smiled and put his microphone at his back pocket. He is slowly removing his shirt like he is teasing his fans. His fans are going wild. Then he completely removed it and threw the shirt to the audience.

Everyone is cheering while I am just sitting here, looking at him. He is covering his body like he is being shy or something. The thing that I want to see is on his upper chest area.

So, it is true. I can see Tay's remaining days.

Zero years, zero months, three days, fifteen hours, eight minutes and twenty seconds.

Why do I have this sudden feeling of sadness? Is he doing this because he knows what will happen? He is just doing this for the last time as a gift to his fans?

The floor director then gave him a black t-shirt to wear. All of a sudden, Mild poked me.

"Why is he wearing the shirt that I designed? You met Tay? Is that the reason why you looked so tense earlier?" She is bombarding me with questions right now.

"Yeah. I met him earlier accidentally. I got the opportunity to give it to him, I grabbed it." I explained, not matching her energy because I am still thinking about what I just saw.

"Are you okay? What are you thinking about?"

"I-I'm already hungry. I should have ordered two cakes instead of one earlier," I reasoned out.

When the event finished, Mild and I let the audiences walk out of the arena first. She is busy with her phone. I then remembered that I texted Off earlier so I opened my phone to see if he replied. There is one unread message and it is from him.

I replied to him and asked if we can meet him later this evening. He agreed because he'll be at MGM later this evening. Outside the arena, fans are gathering outside where Tay's coaster is parked. Their dedication is really something else.

After one hour of dreading traffic, we finally reached MGM Building. Mild can just enter the office because she has ID and I am a freeloader right now. It is kind of an awkward situation because people are staring at me but yeah, who cares. When we entered the office, the very first person who welcomed us is Off. Just like the old times, he is running towards us with open arms, screaming.

"Newwiee! Mild! I miss you guys!" He is hugging us so tight.

"Why you never told me that you are already back?" I asked him while pinching his side tummy.

"I'm sorry. I just came back yesterday and I immediately fell asleep when I arrive at my house. I just woke up two hours ago from a thirteen-hour sleep. Hehehe." What a lame excuse, so I rolled my eyes.

"We have a lot to talk about. What happened?" Mild initiated the conversation about Off returning without Prae.

"Let's talk about it later. I am really hungry and I haven't eaten my breakfast and lunch yet," he demanded.


	3. Troubled

"What happened?" I asked Off. The three of us are eating right now at the cafeteria since it will be a hassle to find a restaurant during rush hour.

"I thought we are on the same page. I opened the topic about marriage but she said that we are taking things too fast. She wants to pursue first law school before she will get married. She got accepted in Harvard and I have no idea about. Thinking that she'll fail or will be rejected, she did not bother telling me about it." He is just looking at his plate, avoiding any eye contact with us. "I saw the acceptance letter and we got into a fight. Then she asked me if I am willing to go with her in the US and leave everything I have here in Thailand, I said no."

"Why break up though? You love each other, right?" Mild questioned.

"I love her but she let me choose between my career or her and as of this moment, my love for her is not a good enough reason to leave everything I have here in Thailand. I told her she can study there while I will be working my ass off for our future here but she said long distance relationships usually don't work." He is trying to hold his tears.

"If there's no trust. I understand the longing for each other but your reason for staying here is valid. You want to work hard for your future while she is pursuing her dream in the US. If she cannot understand that then maybe she is really not for you." I went hard on him. To be fair, Prae is gorgeous. But there is something off with her attitude when Off is starting to get famous. I get it that your boyfriend is an artist but sometimes her jealousy and clinginess are out of hand.

"I thought you like Prae?" Off asked me while devouring his food.

"She is likable but I guess I am not fond of her attitude sometimes. Then after hearing what happened, I don't like her anymore."

"We may fight sometimes but there are more reasons to like her than to dislike her." He defended. "Now that I'm single, I guess I'll work hard again because I need to buy a 65-inch TV for my new condo unit, that was supposed to be our new home. Visit me guys there sometime okay?" From being serious, he suddenly shifts to this happy go lucky tone.

"Thank God, because I cannot spend more weekends at Mild's because I cannot sleep early. She is always screaming and shouting while watching _that_ TV series. It always ends at 11:45 in the evening then she will talk about it for the next one hour." I rolled my eyes while drinking this blue hawaiian juice that I bought.

"Awwww but you are always willing to listen to my rants and opinion about the episode, right?" she then kept twitching her eyes.

"I have no choice, you're the owner of the house. It's so boring to spend the whole week at my unit, so my last resort to maintain my sanity is to spend my weekends at yours even though I need to sacrifice my sleeping schedule for two consecutive days." I ranted.

"Or maybe you are starting to like Tawan already. You know, that classic love-hate scenario. He is starting to grow in your system, right?" She teased.

I gave her a glare crossed my eyebrows. "Pure nonsense. I agreed to come with you today because I know you'll be needing a driver. That's all."

Her eyes became sharp, "are you sure? But last Sunday I remembered you looking close at the television while Tay's body is flashed though."

"There is something on the screen!" I debunked her statement.

"Yeah, Tay Tawan's abs," she giggled.

"You have crush on Tay?" Off shouted. I immediately looked in our area to see if someone heard his statement.

"No! What were you thinking? Me, having a crush on him? Are you both serious?" Why do I sound so defensive? I tried to tone down my voice and just ignored their next statement because that is not my narrative.

"Finally, after two seasons of Together in Paradise, one season of Fight for Love and thirteen episodes of Royal Covenant, Tay is slowly growing in New's system. Maybe I'll wake up one day, you are already buying his merch and donating money for his food truck project outside MGM building huh." What Mild is saying is just going inside my right ear and exiting in my left ear.

"Just tell me if you want to meet him. Tay and I are close and I can hook you up with him for a dinner or lunch." Off is gaslighting the situation.

"Whatever. I am not planning on joining his fans club or whatnot because I have a lot of things to do. I have no time for that." I shrugged off.

"New, you're unemployed. You basically have all the time in the world," Mild teased.

I am trying to come up with an excuse because she is right. "Then I will look for a job to pay my bills. I can't be forever stuck at home."

"Boy, literally your parents are paying your bills. It is automatically charged on them." Mild and Off are laughing.

"Why it seems like you hate Tay so much. I mean he's a good person off camera. I can attest to that," Off commented.

"I don't hate Tay okay. It is just that I am not fond of him. It's different. We have different preferences and that's mine." I stood up to throw this empty cup. "I'll just go to the comfort room."

They nodded while smirking. I guess they are not convinced with my reason. That's on them whether they will take it or not.

When I turned around, my heart stopped beating for a couple of seconds when I saw Tay looking at me. Did he heard what I said? I cannot read his facial expression if he is angry or not because he has this resting poker face. I can feel Off and Mild's eyes staring at me. I have no choice but to continue walking which means that our path will cross on one way or another.

"Te! You're here!" Jumpol shouted as if he is emphasizing who I'm about to cross paths with.

"Jumpol, you're back," that distinct voice that I always here every weekend from the television is now echoing like six meters away from me. I went outside the cafeteria and looked for the bathroom so I can pee.

After I washed my hands, I am having second thoughts about going back inside the cafeteria because Tay is there. Right now, there is no other choice for me because I cannot wander around MGM office. I took a deep breath first before going out of the comfort room.

As I approach the cafeteria's entrance, someone held my right arm. I turned around to see who it is and my eyes widened when I recognized immediately who it is.

"Kao?" It's Kao Noppakao, my junior way back in secondary level.

"Phi, what are you doing here?"

"I'm with a friend. I'm her driver for the day," I replied. "How about you?"

"My agent told me to come here today because MGM will conduct an audition for their new drama. I want to try my luck," he said in hopeful manner. He's a member of our theatre club before in high school and because of his complexion like a snow, he is always being casted as the prince charming. I think the last time our paths crossed was over a year ago. On my last year in high school, I became the president of theatre club and he was my vice president.

"This will be your first time to audition?" I asked him.

"Yeah. I just finished my bachelor's degree last year in Economics and I want to go back to my first love."

"Acting," we said in unison. "Just do your best because your talent will never let you down." I told him with a smile.

"Yes I will, Phi." He said in dignification.

"We need to have dinner some time. Together with out batchmates from theatre club." I suggested.

"That would be a great idea." He exclaimed.

"Here is my number then tell the others about our meeting today. Just message me if you guys are available." he gave me his phone so that I can key in my line ID. "I have all the time in world."

"Really, phi? Why don't you try acting again?" I returned his phone.

"If I try to go back in acting, how can you have the role that you want?" He laughed. "Just kidding. My plan until next year is just to relax and enjoy my free time before applying for Master's degree."

"I see. Well, it is so nice to see you again, Phi. I will be going inside already. I hope we can catch up again really soon."

"Message me when and where, I'll be there." I told him.

"I will," he said then giving me a smile.

"Good luck on your audition. Fighting!" I told him before bidding good bye.

When I returned to our table, all their eyes are glued to me. I do not know why but I feel so uncomfortable walking back specially with Tay looking at me like that. I almost forgot that he probably heard me earlier talking about him.

"So, who is that person you just talked to?" Off asked.

"Kao, my junior way back in high school," I answered honestly trying to avoid any eye contact with Tay who is sitting beside him.

"What did you talk about earlier? You seem so very happy while having a tiny chit chat with him huh." It's Mild's turn to investigate.

"I told him that we need to catch up with the other theatre club members since it's been years," I said back.

"You did theatre?" Off asked.

"Yeah, back in high school. Never had the chance to join in college because I need to focus more on studies," I explained.

I think I should not avoid doing eye contact with Tay so my theatre arts skills will be useful. I took a glance to Tay and smiled briefly. I am embodying this persona where I am pretending that I am not bothered by his presence.

"Are you a fan of lakorn dramas?" Tay asked out of no where. My eyes immediately locked to him. "You're a theatre kid, I assume you love to watch tv dramas or series."

"Just because I am a theatre kid, it doesn't mean I like to watch series or dramas. Theatre is different from what you can watch on the television," I replied. "To answer your question. No, I am not."

I know sometimes my way of answering is too straightforward that people might think I am a douchebag or something but, I am really just answering his question. Not unless he's going to purposely provoke me or something.

"But he does watch some dramas. It's just that he is not fully into it," Mild followed. "We are actually watching your drama every weekend." I thought she is already done talking which is why I am surprised when she said that we are watching his series.

"Really?" I noticed that he smirked a little when he heard Mild's follow up.

"I am spending my weekends on Mild's, that's the reason why," I answered briefly.

"What can you say about the episode last Sunday?" I am genuinely curious why are we having this conversation right now? I mean we haven't even introduced ourselves to each other. Not that I want to, but I'm just curious.

I looked at Mild and based on her expression, I know that she doesn't want me to answer his question because she knows what I am about to say. Jumpol on the other hand is looking at me nervously because he knows that I can be brutally honest with my opinion.

He knows me very well that I am not really fond of watching television series because I enjoy theatre more. You might find me annoying when we are watching series together because I will not stop talking about what I am seeing.

That's why every time I am at Mild's I am making sure to keep my comments to myself because I know Mild is just trying to enjoy what she is watching and I should not ruin her vibe.

Also, I think I should refrain myself from being too critical about things.

"I find it quite underwhelming considering the episode is already at the climax of the story." I tried to make it a short as possible.

"Well, thank you for your honesty. To be honest, I am not proud of this series but I have to do it as a stepping stone for my next project." Okay, I did not expect that coming from him.

The silence is deafening.

"Ahhh, Tay. Did you see the food truck project that Tawan Philippines Official arranged for you earlier at the event?" Mild ask him. She is like the ultimate fan of them all because she can talk to Tay like this and she has direct contact of him for Tay's fans club projects. They will give her the funds and then she'll arrange everything here in Thailand.

She is like the big sister of Tay's international fans club.

"Yes, I'll post the picture later. My manager took the photo on his phone." he replied.

Off then started talking again about his upcoming project since he is staying in Thailand for good now. Moments later, a production staff approached us and asked Tay to go to the rehearsal studio where the auditions will be held. Jumpol asked the staff if we can barge in and he agreed as long as we don't take any pictures, videos or audio recording while the audition is on going.

When we went inside the studio, I saw a group of boys which according to the Jumpol are auditioning for the second lead since they already have a cast for the main couple. Tay and Gun will be partnered which is quite explosive because Gun is known as one of MGM's best actors. While Tay, he's known for his lakorn dramas.

The audition started and they were given lines prior to recite in front of the director, producer, and screenwriter of the said series. When it's Kao's turn, he was given a scenario where he is sitting outside the door of his love interest, confessing his real feelings for him. Not knowing that his love interest is inside the room, hearing every words that he is saying. His character here is a tsundere and he's being vulnerable for the first time in his life.

I saw him looking at my direction and I gave him two thumbs up implicating that he can do it, I believe in him. He nodded and when the casting director gave the signal for him to start, he went into his character and walked as if he is tipsy. I don't know if this is in the script or he improvised.

He then started reciting his line. This scene, he drunk himself to death because he learned that Phu, tentative name of his love interest, presumably is with another guy at this very moment. He went to his condo unit because he doesn't want to drive drunk. So, he just walked from the bar and the next thing he knows, he's outside Phu's condo unit.

He is just sitting there while his voice is echoing the whole studio. I am not taking my eyes off him because that's how impressive he is. I can't remember him being this good during high school.

Well maybe because I am too proud of myself during that time that I always assume that I am the best. My self conceited phase during high school is so cringing, goodness heavens.

Then tears start to fall from his eyes. I feel like a proud senior while watching him. When he finished his piece, I cannot see the panel's reaction but I hope they will consider him for the next stage because he ate that monologue.

My phone suddenly vibrated, my mom is calling.

I told Mild, I'll be taking the call and went straight outside.

"Hi, Mom." I greeted.

"Honey, how are you?"

"I'm doing great. I'm with Mild right now," I replied.

"Ohhh, okay. Well I called you because I have something to tell you."

"What is it. Mom?"

"We're celebrating our wedding anniversary in Thailand and we might even stay there up until Christmas." I was shock when I heard what she just said. I always celebrated Christmas with Mild for the past three years which I don't really mind.

"Really, Mom? That's good to hear. I really missed you and Dad. If that's the case, it's like one month of vacation?"

"Yes, but of course we still have to attend some gatherings there in Thailand. So, from time to time, we'll be out of town."

"It's okay, Mom. When is your flight back to Thailand?"

"Saturday, dear. Are you free?"

"Of course, Mom. I am not busy right now, I'm always free." I answered delightfully.

"Okay. Saturday, I'll text you the flight details so you can pick us up."

"Alright. Mom. Love you and Dad. See you on Saturday."

"Love you, honey. See yeah," and then the call ended. It's been 17 months since the last time they went back to Thailand. We often do video calls but being with them personally give so much different feelings.

I noticed my hand has a black stain on it. Maybe I got it when I pushed the door of the terrace. I started looking for the comfort room so that I can wash my hand. I saw a C.R at the end of the hallway and went straight to it.

As I enter the facility, I heard someone talking and based on his tone, I think he is not happy.

"Why can't you convince Gun to revoke his decision? You are his manager for fuck's sake." I heard Gun's name, is he talking about Gun Attaphan? I pretended that I am not hearing anything. He is just talking over the phone while facing the wall so I guess he doesn't know my existence, yet. "Convince him not to drop the project. We're just looking for the secondary leads before the start of pre-production. This will create a big issue if the press learned about this." I was just about to open the faucet when my hands stopped functioning.

Gun is going to drop his drama with Tay? I think I should not be hearing this right now. I immediately run outside before it's too late. 


	4. Unexpected

This is probably the most chaotic audition I've seen in my whole life. The executives of the series are now having something that I cannot describe as a conversation because they are not making sense at this moment.

The production already sent the news to some news outlet about Gun being paired with Tay in the series. Well, they could have at least made sure first that Gun is going to play the role before sending the scoop. He didn't even managed to step inside this studio.

While the executives are trying to contact Gun and his manager, the applicants on the other hand seem lost with what is happening.

"So, is the show canceled or what?" Mild ask. Poor her, she was about to perform an audition piece for a side role when the staff who I heard shouting earlier in the comfort room dropped the bomb.

"I don't know. But at this juncture, they need to stop the media outlets first with releasing the news about Tay being paired with Gun before social media go crazy." I looked at Tay and at this moment, he is just browsing on his iPad while listening to music, I guess.

I cannot read what is going on his mind at this very moment but with this impending controversy, I just hope he'll be okay.

In the industry, an actor will only trend because of three things. It's either because of a controversy, a new series or dating rumors.

I don't really consider dating someone as controversy because hello, we're humans and there's nothing wrong with a celebrity dating. It's their right to choose who they want to spend some intimate time with whether the fans will like it or not. Also, controversy corresponds for an apology and no one should be apologizing for loving or liking someone.

Now with regards to Tay's situation, is this a controversial news? I mean we cannot blame Tay if Gun want's to tap out from the series. Will he release a statement about it? I don't think he needs to because it is the production's fault if the news will broke out.

"Sir, it is already trending at number eight on Twitter," one of the staff reported.

I did not notice Tay is looking at me directly. I then snapped back to reality when our eyes met. I just realized that I was staring at him while thinking of what could be the possible outcome of this fiasco. I then immediately tried to pretend that nothing happened and joined back to Mild and Jumpol's conversation.

What were you thinking, New? Why were you looking at him like a concerned person or something. Mild then opened her Twitter to see what is going on. This is where it gets out of hand. When people starts to assume things.

"How did the news broke out? Who released the rumor?" The guy who's shouting in the comfort room ironically asked.

He was shouting his heart out earlier. For sure there are people who heard his voice outside and spilled the news on social media.

"P'New," Kao approached me. "I'll be going then. The casting director told us that they will contact us if they sort things out."

"Oh, okay. Nice to see you again. Let us keep in touch for our meet up okay?"

"Sure, Phi. See you." He bid good bye in full smile.

If things will be sort out, they need to cast Kao because for sure audiences will love him. He is an eye candy and his smile could own anyone's heart.

The three of us decided to leave the studio because the discussion about the situation is really making us anxious. One of the staff even threatened a lawsuit which I find silly because contracts are not yet signed. He is just straight up clowning himself.

It is already eleven in the evening when Mild and Jumpol asked me to send them home. Nothing is new, I know this is going to happen, just like in college.

We are discussing what is next for the project when we saw Tay exiting from the building.

"Tay, are you okay?" Jumpol asked.

"Yes, I am." He replied while smiling. Well, I guess he should do this acting more often because people might believe he really is even though I know he is not.

"You have a ride?"

"I am actually booking a cab. I was advised not to ride a taxi because reporters are in front of the building," he explained.

"Do you want to join us?" I asked. The three of them gave me a blank stare. "I mean, you are with us. Much better than riding a stranger's car." This is the least thing that I can do for him after what happened.

"Thanks." he replied.

"Don't mention it," I said.

I was fixing my seat belt when I noticed that Tay is opening the door in front. I looked back at Mild and she is pretending like she is texting something while Jumpol is looking foolishly at the lights in the parking area.

I just rolled my eyes and started driving. We are passing by when we saw people outside the building waiting and I guess some of them are from the press. Also some people are also checking the cars passing by. Thankfully, my car is fully tinted and they cannot see who's inside.

I asked who will be dropping off first and Mild ask me to send her home first because she is quite sleepy already and she is just along the way. When we arrived at her house, she thanked me for the day and instructed me to text her when I am at home.

Jumpol is supposed to be dropping off first because his condo is the nearest but he asked me to drop him off at their house because he is staying there while he is moving his things to his condo.

"Where's your destination?" I asked Tay so I can put it on Waze.

"I don't know," he replied in low tone.

"You don't know your address?"

"For sure people are starting to pile up outside my building right now. I just don't want to go home." I can recognize that there is a grim undertone with his voice.

"Do you have any idea where you want to go or where you want me to drop you off?" We are still outside of Jumpol's house and I don't even know if this conversation will go somewhere.

"Just drive. Maybe drop me in a place where no one will recognize me." I don't want to sound heartless but I am starting to regret my decision of offering him a ride. I have no idea where should I drop him off where no one could recognize him. He is a freaking television star and his face are all over social media right now for sure. The only place for him where no one can recognize him is outside Thailand.

"I hope you do realize that you are a television actor. Your face is in every home for at least forty-five minutes during Saturdays and Sundays. People will recognize you wherever you go as long as it is within the jurisdiction of Thailand. Again, I will ask you, where do you want me to drop you off?" I asked calmly.

He looked at me with those eyes. I can feel his tiredness and my annoyance is replaced by empathy.

Is he gonna cry?

"Do you wanna stay at my condo for tonight?" I offered.

"Can I?" I gave him a nod.

At this point, the only place that I can think is my condo unit. We can enter the building through the basement so no one will notice him.

It's Wednesday evening and I don't understand why there is traffic considering it is almost midnight. No one is talking inside the car and I don't know what is going on with Tay if he is sleeping or what. I am focusing my eyes on the road while hoping that we'll be home before one A.M.

As much as I want to open the radio, I don't want to imply that I am in a very awkward situation right now. You know, just like in the movies where if the situation between two person is getting awkward, one person is turning on the radio and a silly love song will play or whatsoever.

I don't want that.

"Why do you think Gun backed out all of a sudden?" Tay's deep voice echoed.

I look at him and he is just staring at the road. I focused again my attention in front of me while trying to think of an answer. "Management issue? Conflict of interest? Schedule? Or maybe he didn't like the script."

"I guess Off didn't tell you about it." I glanced at him, puzzled with what he just said.

"What do you mean?" I don't intend to be nosy about it but I just want to clarify things because I don't want to think things.

"The first thing that they discussed with him when he landed in Thailand is a series project next year. They are planning to release three BL series and one of those three will be Off's. An adaptation of a famous yaoi book." He didn't mention that earlier. And Off, in a boy's love series? "I guess he didn't tell you about it yet because nothing is final yet. Partree Weetasuk production is a rising production company that MGM signed contract with. They will be in charge for it and they are known for producing award winning series."

"Including Gun's drama last year, The Elites." Everything is making sense now. The Elites is the series where Gun Attaphan won his Best Actor award in LINE TV awards and other Asian award giving bodies. I watched The Elites last year because Mild played a small role there as Gun's girlfriend's best friend. It will not be a surprise if they offered the role of Off's love interest to Gun. "As long as there's no contract signed, he still can back out anytime.

"If this drama will be canceled, I guess it's the end game for my career," he said. "They canceled the season two of Royal Covenant and I will not reprising my role in Together in Paradise Season 3."

Why would they do that? I mean he has a solid fan base and for sure his shows has good ratings because of fans. "End game for your career? I don't think so. Your fan base is huge, as long as you have the market, opportunities will always be there."

He looked at me and smiled sarcastically, "I guess you're really not my fan."

It is twelve thirty in the evening when we arrived at my condo unit. I can't say that there is no awkward moment because it is evident the moment he stepped inside. I don't know how to address him is another problem.

"Water...P'Tay," I offered him a glass of water after that long ride.

"Just call me Te." He replied while grabbing the glass of water. I then remembered what Mild said. I reached for my phone and start chatting her about my whereabouts. I went to my room to get a towel for him to use.

"Here's a towel if you want to take a bath. Do you have any clothes to use?"

"It's okay. I can wear this again instead after I take a shower," he answered.

"You're going to sleep in jeans and long sleeves? Do you still have the shirt that I gave you earlier? I can lend you my shorts."

"My manager asked someone to deliver the fan gifts to my unit. I only have my laptop, camera and ipad on my bag," he replied shyly.

I dig in for some shirt that I barely used, shorts and a underwear that I haven't use yet. "Wear this. Don't worry, that underwear is never been used. You can smell it, it is fresh from the packaging."

"T-Thanks," then he went straight to the bathroom to wash himself.

I am just contemplating about what is happening because it is not adding up. I haven't fully grasped the idea of me being in one room with Tay Tawan. Like I don't even know how will I tell Mild this information because she will bombard me with questions that I don't know how to respond to.

Sitting while waiting for Tay to finish taking a bath, I felt my phone vibrating. It is Mild and she is asking for a video call. I went inside my room for her not to hear what's going on in the bathroom. I answered her call and she is doing her skin care routine now.

"So, what happened? How did the date went?"

"What date are you talking about? I just volunteered to drive him home because I was concern about him," which now I regret.

"You're not even fond of him in the first place. What happened to you? You attended his fan meet. You had conversation with him and even offered him a ride. That is so not Newwiee." She is massaging her face with a brightening serum.

"In my defense, I know you'll have a very long day that's why I offered you my driving services today. I just want to clarify something, that's all."

"Clarify something about what?" She asked while looking at the mirror while applying eye cream. I don't know how to respond to that question because I don't know how to explain to her that I can see Tay's lifespan.

"About his work. That's all. He's hardworking person and I saw how he treated his fans and I guess he's a good person after all," I explained.

"Then what about the ride? Why suddenly became a Good Samaritan to him? Change of heart? You like him now?" She teased.

"I never said that I like nor hate him. I offered him a ride because I am worried about him." I then realized what I just said. Shit, that's not what I meant.

"You are what?! You are worried about him?" I can analyze the decibels of her voice through the screen.

"Let's just say that he went through a lot this day. It is probably tiring to be on his shoes right now. I know how showbiz work. We have friends who works in the industry and what we saw from Tay today is just a glimpse. We don't know what he is going through but one thing is for sure, helping him to get away with the mess earlier is the least that I can do for him." Specially knowing that he has three days left. At least I can say something good to God once I meet them there.

Wait, I don't even know if I'm going there in the first place.

But yeah, whatever.

"You didn't have to do that," she calmly said.

"But I wanted to. I mean it's harmless offer since Off is with us, might as well give him a joy ride. At least he knows that he's with you and Jumpol, people that he can trust."

"Don't single out yourself. He accepted your offer, for sure he knows he can trust you too," she clarified.

"It doesn't matter if he trusts me or not. I just wanted to help him. That's all." Also, I want to ask him something because this could be my last chance to do so. I want to know why I can see his remaining days. Have we met before? Are we classmates in high school and he's one of my bullies before?

I want answers, but I don't know how to ask for it.

"So what happened after you send off Jumpol? Did you guys talked? How did you managed to dodge the press? For sure there are fans and reporters outside his place. Have you met P'Mark?"

"Well..." I don't know how to answer that. I am already having a hard time explaining to Mild why I offered a ride to Tay, much more explaining to her why I allowed him to spend the night at my place.

"What happened? Why are you silent? Did you devour your tongue?" the more I stay quiet, the more she'll be suspecting. I need to come up with an answer at this very moment or else I'll be dea-

"Hey, I am talking to P'Mark right now. I told him I'll be staying here for the night-"

My eyes widened, my ears started to turn red at the moment and my body stiffened like a bamboo when I heard his voice echoing inside my room.

"T-Tay? W-What are you doing there?" Her face mask suddenly fell off. I am staring at her not knowing what to do.

"I'm sorry, am I disturbing you guys?" Hell yes! You're not supposed to be here inside my room in the first place!

"N-No. We're just having a casual conversation before we sleep," Mild explained. "Why are you with New right now? What happened?"

"I- I asked him where he lived but he said he doesn't want to go home because reporters and fans are probably in the lobby of his unit. He said he wants to go in a place where no one can recognize him, and we ended up in my condo instead." I briefly explained.

She then gave me a weird smile. A smile that I know she is telling me not to worry. No more judgments or anything.

"Well, all of us had a very long day. I guess it's time for us to rest. I'll talk to you New later. Good nightyyy!!" she bid farewell.

"Good night, Mild." Tay and I said in unison. I closed my phone and walked outside. "What were you saying earlier? I'm sorry." I asked him for I didn't understand what he said when he barged into my room.

"That's just a bluff. I heard you're having a hard time to explain about my whereabouts so I tried to help you by showing myself to Mild. I already texted my manager earlier in the car about where I am staying. I apologize for entering your room without permission, I'm just trying to help."

"It's okay. I don't even have any words to say to her, I guess that's the best way to explain about what happened." I smiled faintly.

"Do you mind sleeping in the couch?" I asked him. I mean I'm okay with him staying in my room instead. I'm used to sleeping in the couch sometimes when I am working on a project.

"No, I'm okay with it," he responded.

"Okay. I already feel tacky, I'll just take a shower. You can have some pillows in my room. I'll give you pillowcases later."

"Alright," he affirmed.

After I took a bath, I went straight to my room to give him new pillowcases. The sofa is quite small so I am not sure if he can sleep there peacefully. Not gonna lie, the thought of offering him to sleep beside me came across my mind but for sure both of us will feel uncomfortable with that idea.

"Do you have something that I can drink?" he asked while changing the pillowcases.

"You want water?" I went to the kitchen where the refrigerator is located to give him some water.

"Do you have beer?" I looked at him confused.

"I don't drink beer," I said. "But I have chocolates here." I offered.

His facial expression changed into confusion. "Chocolates?"

"I mean if you want to drink because you want to fall asleep then dark chocolates can be a substitute." I showed him a container full of dark chocolates.

"You are quite weird." I gave him some chocolates. "Can you accompany me for the night?"

I suddenly felt something weird deep inside of me. There's something about his eyes that makes me want to stay up all night to honor his request. He is a television actor with numerous series and I guarantee you that these stares that he is giving me, I never seen these before.

Then I mouthed a word to answer a question.

"No."


	5. Vulnerability

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Guys! Thank you so much for the support. I didn't really expect the sudden number of reads. TBH I don't even know the end game for this series to be honest but I promise one thing, I won't hurt you guys. Maybe a little. Char!

By the way, please interact with me. You can tweet me @justeeynocampo on twitter and any feedback is greatly appreciated. I want to know what you guys think so that I can improve it in the future.  
For the mean time, enjoy...

**Vulnerability**

“Before he became famous, who is Tay Tawan?” the host asked Tay. I am watching an interview of his during in a guesting two years ago. That same year, he won a Rising Star award and according to some articles, he received numerous projects that time that he was considered a breakthrough artist of the decade.

“He is just a simple boy who dreamed of giving his mom and grandmother a house with swimming pool and garden area.” The audience swooned. “I don’t really consider myself as famous, it is just that many people know who I am. Being famous is like you contributed a lot for others where in reality, people contributed a lot for me. Because of their support, they opened a lot of opportunities for me. That’s why I promised to myself to give it all 100% and push myself so that I would not disappoint them. I owe them a lot.”

He is well spoken. He is down-to-earth. He is a good person, probably. I am not sure but his eyes are really captivating me in some way.

“Newwiee, you have been watching interviews of him since this morning. Are you doing a research paper or something?” Mild intervene my serenity. She is still wearing her night gown and carrying a bowl of cereals with milk.

“Mild, I have something to tell you,” I started.

“What is it? You are falling for Tay’s charms already? As if it is not yet obvious,” she giggled.

“Tay has two days left.” I murmured.

The sound of the spoon clanged on the bowl. I don’t have to turn around to see her reaction because I know she is in shock.

“What do you mean?” her voice is cracking.

“The reason why I went with you during his fan meet is to confirm what I saw on the television last Sunday,” I started. “I saw his lifeline and he has approximately nine months left. But since you mentioned that the filming ended almost nine months ago, now he has less than a week to live.”

“You are kidding, right?” She approached me and looked into my eyes. “Right?”

“I wish I am,” I replied.

“Maybe there is a mistake. He’s too young.” I can sense that she is holding back her tears.

“I don’t know. That is what I saw and like you, I am beyond surprised because we haven’t even met since yesterday but I can saw his lifeline already.”

She held my hand. “Maybe you can do something about it. That is probably the reason why you can saw his remaining days,” her hands are cold.

“I’m not a sorcerer, Mild. I haven’t saved anyone before. I wish I could do that to my grandfather but I couldn’t. Maybe I can see Tay’s remaining days so that I can tell the people who are close to him about what is bound to happen.”

“No we need to do something. We cannot let Tay die this early.” I gave her a weird look.

“Mild, are you out of your mind? We’re not gods, hello? How can we defy the impending death of Tay?”

“I don’t know. But we have to do something,” she is clearly upset.

“We don’t even know what is the reason for his demise. Some people on the internet says that he is not the same Tay anymore. Who knows, he might have cancer or some deadly illness. I just want to tell you because I know he means a lot to you.”

“This is the first time I wished you didn’t become honest with me.”

She went on her bed and sat there. I stood up and hugged her.

“Is there something that you are being thankful for?” The interviewer asked Tay.

“There are many things to be honest. But there is one thing that I will always be thankful for. I am thankful for this second life that was given to me. I don’t want to be detailed about it because I don’t want to cry but I will never forget that day...”

Second life. Sometimes, I wish we can be like cats who has nine lives. The only cause of dying is because of very old age. Imagine leaving your love ones knowing you fulfil your dreams for them, your own dream and lived a wonderful life. Leaving knowing that you built a legacy that will be celebrated as years gone by. You will be remembered not because of what you haven’t done but because of what you accomplished.

Imagine how painful it for Tay’s mom and grandmother that he’ll be leaving them soon, probably not be able to fulfil his dream for them of giving a house with swimming pool.

What I noticed with Tay last night is that I can see that he is tired but he wants to fight. He is hopeful that things will be better. That is what I got from having a conversation with him all through the night.

9 HOURS AGO

“Oh okay. I guess it’s time for us to sleep then.”

“No…problem. That’s what I meant. I will also find it hard to sleep knowing you are in the same unit with me. It makes me…” I cannot find the right term, geez.

“Flattered?” he smirked.

“More like anxious,” I replied instantly while side rolling my eyes. “So what do you want to talk about?”

“What topics do you have on your mind?” he fired back the question.

“Anything as long as it is not personal.” I sat on the couch and opened the pack of dark chocolates.

“You and Mild…” he paused for a second, “are you two a thing?” he asked.

I gave him a face that shouts the expression really?

“We love each other but not to that extent. Why do you ask?” I gave him a curious look.

“Just so happened that someone I know has a crush on Mild,” he said. “Maybe because we never saw Mild with someone else before. This is the first time we saw her with a guy.”

“We treat each other as siblings. More than the kind of love that everyone desire. We got each others back all the time and we are not scared of telling each other what we think about certain things. We got to the point where a single text, we already know that the other one is going through something. I guess that love is more powerful than the love that you thought we have.” I explained to him while eating a piece of dark chocolate. “How about you, is someone out there who cannot sleep because they are worried about your situation right now?” Probably not knowing your remaining days left.

He displayed a faint smile and opened a piece of chocolate, “I can only wish there is. If managers count then he is probably worried that I am sleeping at someone else’s condo unit.”

“So your single?” I said casually. Reality hits me hard when an awkward silence happened. I don’t know why that question slipped through my lips.

“Yes, why do you ask? Are you curious about it?” His facial expression became playful and his eyes are trying to tease me.

“I just want the conversation to continue. If we want to stay up all night, we need to talk about everything as long as it’s not personal,” I replied.

“Well you just asked a personal question,” he smirked.

I gave him a dreadful look, he got me there. “Well, you’re a public figure. I am sure that you already heard that question a million times. I think you don’t consider anymore that question a personal one.”

“I still consider that question a very personal one,” he debunked my statement.

“Maybe having this conversation is a bad idea. I don’t want to unravel things that might be personal to you.” I said to him hoping that we can just end the day and go to sleep.

Well, I guess I should have thought about that earlier when I haven’t opened and eaten three packs of dark chocolates. Stupid, Newwiee.

“Let’s just say that as way of saying thank you to you for helping me today, I won’t mind answering personal questions,” he replied with affirmation that I should not be worried about our last exchange. “That question is very personal to me that every time I am being asked about it, my answer will always be the same. Someone already owns my heart. I am just waiting for that person.” Dropping that last two sentences, I can see that he is in love with that person. It is like watching a movie or series when the protagonist is confessing about his love.

I don’t know why but there is something in his eyes that always makes me go deeper and analyze things. It amazes me because I never saw him like this when he is playing his roles. Maybe having this kind of conversation that is off the script and totally spontaneous makes him comfortable and vulnerable.

I never thought that I can see a vulnerable side of Tay Tawan.

Then I remembered the last sentence that he said. He is just waiting for that person. I don’t know but I felt something recalling that. What would that person feel with the idea of not reciprocating the love that Tay is giving because of what is bound to happen?

I don’t know what to reply to him because of there is a lot going through my mind right now. Then I realized that Tay stopped talking for quite some time and when I looked at him, he is staring at me.

“W-Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked him nervously.

“What are you thinking about? I noticed you looked disturbed of something? Didn’t I told you that I am giving you free pass to ask any questions? I wouldn’t mind.”

“No, I’m thinking of something else, don’t worry,” I said.

“What is it?” He then focused his attention to me which makes me uncomfortable. How can I tell him that I am worried about the people he will leave behind? Does he even know that he is sick?

“Tell me honestly,” I don’t know how to start this conversation. “How are you doing these past few days?” I asked calmly.

I can see the sudden shock in his eyes. He surely didn’t expect that question. I mean I hope that I will get something or know his current condition without insinuating that I know something.

Also, after what happened earlier in the car, I am genuinely concerned for him.

“I haven’t heard that question in a long run,” he chuckled. I can’t help myself but to feel sad because this is the reality of some showbiz personalities. They tend to disconnect to reality. Because of their busy schedule, they cannot meet with their acquaintance and have this kind of conversation. “I’m not doing fine. I entered in the industry with the mindset that I have to provide for my family. But now, I don’t think I can do that for quite some time. That project with Gun will be my last resort to redeem myself.” I can sense in his voice that he is avoiding to be emotional.

“I honestly thought that this field of work will sustain me for at least ten years. That’s how confident I am with my craft. I always thought that because my fans love what I am giving to them, I disregarded the idea of growth and change. One day, I was reading some comments about me and one tweet got my attention. They noticed that I’ve been accepting roles that is like the continuation of my previous role but with different name. Many people agreed and said that after the success of my debut series, I’ve been serving nothing but mediocre after.”

Trust me, I am not the one who tweeted that. I can criticize Tay’s acting all day long but it will remain between me and Mild. I know how internet works and a single tweet can make or break a person’s life.

Not everything is meant to be shared on social media.

“Because of the fear of disappointing my fans, I sacrificed my own growth as an actor. I kept playing the roles that I know I am comfortable with not knowing that it may hurt me in a long run which what is happening right now. There are actors out there who just started their career months ago but now has more followers than me on Instagram. They just starred in a series but the reception of the audience is so overwhelming that I felt envious at some ways. At this rate, I can easily be forgotten because there are more rising actors that MGM is grooming. Projects that are anticipated by many.”

“How can they let that fiasco happened though? I mean really, announcing that the series will be top-billed by two actors then suddenly one party decided to withdraw? I mean it’s either the series will push through or cancel it as a whole.” I vented out.

“Don’t held it against to Gun or the management. This is not new in the industry. It just so happened that the project created a huge noise on social media and the fans anticipated it so much. They just announced that we are going to be starring in a series. Nothing is confirmed until the camera starts rolling.”

Well that’s also correct. I mean no harm to other actors but if a series that has a small followings got canceled or have the same change with their leads, I guess it will not create this huge drama on social media or even in media outlets. Many got excited when Tay Tawan who is known for his lakorn dramas accepted a role where he will be paired with another guy. Gun, one of the best actors of MGM.

“Are you not scared that the backlash will be bigger from your fans once they learned about that special person? I mean if this is how they react with your drama, what more if they learned that you’re already in a relationship or something.”

He gave me a glance and smiled. “Well, are you scared?”

It took me a moment to process what he just said. Did I heard him right? Suddenly, I felt my heart starts beating a little faster than normal. “W-What?” Why I am stuttering?

He smirked. “What I mean to say is if you’re in my position, will you be scared?”

Why are you panicking, New? Are you for real? “No. I mean the fans should always know that there is a huge difference between my life on and off the camera. Loving someone is my decision alone and not should be influenced by other people.”

“Pretty much the same answer to your question,” he smiled. “How about you, do you have some stories to share?”

“I have a boring life, let me tell you that. Mild is the only reason I am not insane right now. I have to spend five days here all by myself before I regain my sanity in Mild’s crib during weekends. She wants me to stay with her there but I refused to because I don’t want to bother her. I have my own unit in the first place. That two days staycation in her crib is enough for me to prepare myself for five days of loneliness here,” I narrated.

“Are you not working?”

“I do freelance modeling. The idea of me going corporate is stressing me out and thank God for my ability to manage my expenses, freelancing can sustain me from time to time,” Or maybe I should start a merchandise company so I can earn money from the fans who always bulk ordering some shirts and other gift for their idols. Just kidding, I don’t have background with managing whatsoever. I’m too generous as a person because for sure I will always give discounts to some of Mild’s friends which may result to bankruptcy in no time.

“You have theatre background right? Why don’t you try acting? Go extra in some television series. You’re friends with Jumpol, he can get you in.”

“I don’t see myself doing acting in a television series. My acting skills deteriorated already,” I sighed.

“You already have a good foundation because you’ve been in theatre arts before. That’s why we have workshops.” He replied enthusiastically.

“Are you shifting to casting director now? It seems like you’re eager to convince me to do acting or whatsoever.”

“Because I already saw you do acting before,” I was in shock for a moment. He already saw me do acting before?

“W-What? How? Where?”

“You mentioned earlier that you never had the chance to do theatre way back in college. We actually went to the same university. I’m from Chulakorn too. We were freshmen that time when I walked by the auditorium and saw you audition for theatre club. You were awesome that time.” Well, that’s quite surprising. I didn’t know that we went to the same university. But hello, that’s not impossible. CU is like one of the famous universities in Thailand. Is that the reason why I can see his remaining time? But I can’t recall any interaction moments with him during our college years.

“I gave my all to that audition but I guess popularity is their priority than acting itself,” The memories came back like it was just yesterday.

“Why did you not audition the following year?”

“The moment that they picked that famous guy over me, I realized that what’s the point of doing so. They are picking the one who can bring ticket sales more. That’s why I just gave up on the idea of auditioning again,” I explained.

“Is that the reason why you don’t want to do acting?”

“Not really. Just like what I mentioned earlier, my acting prowess is already gone. Also let’s be honest, aside from talent they are also looking for someone who has pretty face to attract audience. I don’t even consider myself attractive or charismatic to draw audiences attention.”

“Well you got mine from the moment I saw you that day, you earned a fan.”

I can feel my heart beating faster again. What is happening to me?


	6. Surprises

Please let me know what you think of this Chapter. Comment down below, Thank you.

CHAPTER 5

Since six in the morning, I am already awake. In two hours, I will meet again my parents after a very long time. If you thought that it is the only reason why, no it is not. I don’t really know what exact time but based on what I saw on stage last Wednesday, today is Tay’s last day…is it?

Not going lie, I am excited for this day because of my parents but I am also hoping that the day won’t end because of Tay. He went through a lot for the past two days. He went through some interviews basically making him the most talk about artist for the last 48 hours. The management has not yet announced whether the drama is cancelled or not.

But surely, they have the nerve to announce that Jumpol will star in a bl series.

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for him because this could be a career defining for him because nowadays, bl dramas are in demand. Aside from that, many fans are also requesting this to happen. They’ve been ghost shipping him with his co-actors before specially when there is a little hint of bromance in the drama that he is playing.

Jumpol also confirmed the news when he posted a picture of him and the author of the novel that they are going to adapt. We teased him if he is planning to back out because this project is completely out of his comfort zone. He said that he is ready and the one who is going to be partnered with him should brace themselves.

I know that he is just joking but knowing him, I am quite scared for Gun or whoever will be the final lead cast is. When it comes to kissing scenes, he is quite known for it. He’s a passionate kisser. For all I know, maybe that’s the reason why Prae called off the wedding. Her jealousy sometimes is getting out of hand.

What did I do for the past two days? Nothing. I just felt that I need to process things because I don’t even know what to do. My ability can only determine the remaining lifespan of the person, making me clueless about what’s going to happen to him.

I looked into my wristwatch; it is already eight in the evening. I should be driving my way right now to the airport because I might be stuck in traffic but my body and mind won’t cooperate. I opened my phone and called Jumpol. Ten seconds later he picked it up.

“Jumpol, where are you right now?” I asked.

“We are on our way to a private party. You know, drinks and food. Why? Did something happen?”

“No. Not yet as far as I can see on my twitter feed. Do you know the whereabouts of Tay today?”

“Ayeeeee, you miss him already?” Only Mild and I know what is going to happen. She doesn’t have the drive to tell anyone.

“No. I just…” I don’t know how to explain it to him.

“Don’t worry. I won’t judge you if you’re starting to like Tay. He’s coming with us actually. You want to join? I can set up a separate table for the both of you. Yeeeeet.” His playful attitude is making me crazy.

“Just, keep your eye on him okay. He already had enough this week. Make sure he will not do something crazy or something.” I don’t care about how Jumpol will interpret what I am asking him to do but at least he is with Tay. If something happened, for sure he’ll be in good hands.

“Why are you acting suddenly like that? Don’t worry, I’ll take care of your Tay.” He giggled. “We’re off to go. I’ll call you later, byeeee.”

The line got cut off and I just throw myself into the sofa, looking at the ceiling. I was just blankly staring into the unknown for ten minutes before I decided to leave going to the airport.

While I am on the expressway, I am trying to list down on my mind what are the possible situation that may happen later. Heart attack, illness complication, high blood, and stroke. Common causes of death nowadays. I just hope that they won’t panic later if this occurred. Drug overdose, stabbing, gun shot, food poisoning and fire. These are the fortuitous events that usually happened in some bars. What are the chances that one of the things I mentioned may happen to Tay?

When I reached the airport, I immediately contacted Mild. I want to know her whereabouts because I am also worried for her. Instead of just thinking about Tay, I have to think about her now too. Telling her somehow is a bad idea.

“Please tell me you’re still alive and breathing, Mild.” I told myself because her phone is just ringing. She is not picking up which makes me worried for her.

I trust her that she will not do anything stupid. So, I tried to calm down because I don’t want other people to look at me like a crazy person or whatsoever.

While waiting, I tried to assess myself. Why are you acting like this, New? Seriously, why this affects you so much?

Is it because of the unanswered question of why you can see his lifeline?

Is it because you unexpectedly shared one night with him and you became candid with each other?

Do you feel sorry for him because he is going through a lot at the moment and you saw it in his eyes that he is tired?

Are you feeling guilty because this is the second time that you know what is coming, but you cannot do something about it?

Or are you confused because that night, you felt something that you never felt before?

To be fair, the idea that we went on the same college is not enough reason for me. We don’t have any encounters before. As far as my memories can recall. That night, the idea of having Tay in my unit and talk all through the night is really unexpected. Do I feel sorry for him? I’m going to be honest, I don’t really care about what other people is going through.

As long as it doesn’t concern me or I am not involved, I won’t stick up my nose to it.

I should remind myself about that because it seems like I already forgot about that this week.

Stop overthinking, New. Every superhero who has powers sometimes encounter problems with their abilities too. Maybe yours went like that because the two of you had some encounter before that you already forgot.

You managed to forgot his existence before in college life because of studies, maybe you can do it again this time. Find something that you can bury and shift your attention too.

I still have half an hour before their plane arrive so to kill some time I decided to…wait what should I do?

It suddenly crossed my mind when the time that Mild went devil’s advocate to me. She asked me to do something that I have never done in my life. Maybe I should try that.

I opened the app store and searched for that gay dating app that she told me about. Actually, her recommendation is Blued over Grindr because she told me that the dudes there are a lot friendlier and they don’t give a shit about your looks as long as they have someone to spend the night or day with whatsoever.

My heart is pounding softly but I can feel it starting to beat faster specially when I finished registering for an account.

Should I use my whole face picture or blur the half of it?

I just decided to use my own face without blur because what is the purpose of having this cute face if I’m just gonna hide it, right?

It’s quite interesting to see that guys here are confident showing their faces. But also, there are some guys who only displays the picture of their bulges, body or… cats?

Really? Who’s going to meet up with a cat?

I just keep on lurking around for some guys around my area and I don’t really know how far they are with me. I am new to this interface so maybe it is somewhere in the settings.

I was about to press the settings button when I saw a familiar face. My jaw almost dropped when I realized who the guy in the photo is.

It’s Tay.

My heart starts to beat fast because what the hell is he doing here? And he really used his picture. He is wearing a black tuxedo, white turtle neck and black pants. It seems like he used a picture from a pictorial or something.

Wait, that doesn’t make any sense.

Maybe someone is using his picture but it is not really him. Besides, he is not even gay.

As far as I know.

I just disregarded the catfish and went to the settings to look for the option where I can turn on the distance. After I finished turning it on, my phone vibrates implicating that I received messages. I went to my inbox and looked who messaged me. I was surprised to see at least five guys.

One of them is from the guy who is using Tay’s picture. I was in disbelief from quite some time before I had the courage to open his message. He is using the alias not me. I released a huge sigh of relief when I saw his name.

[Hi there,] the guy said.

I don’t know what to reply. This is new to me. “Hello,” a reply drier than dry ice.

[’sup? What you doing here?] I don’t even know. This is insane.

“just trying some new things.”

[first time?]

“yeah, I’m quite not familiar with dating apps.”

[you’ll get used to it.] I’ll get used to it? It’s like he’s saying that after one night, I’ll be back here again to look for new prospect. Nope, this will be my first and last. I just have to go through this today and never come back.

“well yeah, I guess. You, why are you using someone else’s picture?”

[how sure are you that I am using other people’s picture?]

My phone almost slipped on my hands. Don’t you fucking tell me that I am talking right now to Tay Tawan? My hands are literally frozen and I am just here looking at his reply, trying to process what I just read.

I was in that position for good two minutes when I felt my phone suddenly vibrated. I opened the screen and there are ten new messages. I unlocked it and saw that there is one message from the guy who is using Tay’s picture. Aside from him, there are also at least ten guys who messaged me but my focus is on the guy who could be potentially the reason why I am here in the first place.

[you there?]

I pressed his message but I cannot come up with a reply to him.

[chill. I am just joking. I am not Tay Tawan. I just used his picture in hope to grab someone’s attention.] I probably exhaled the heaviest exhale I’ve done in my life.

“why do you have to do that?”

[I was just kidding. Why it took you so long to respond? Are you jumping in joy because you thought I was Tay?]

“I did the opposite. I am literally frozen to death here.” And it didn’t help that it is so cold here in the airport.

[Let me ask you this now, are you the one in the picture?]

I rolled my eyes before typing my answer. “yes. I don’t need to use other people’s picture.” That sounded bitchy though, but he deserved it.

[mister bored rn, what’s your name?]

Would it be harmful if I tell him my real name is? Or maybe he’s just asking for my first name, “New.”

[what an enthusiastic reply.] did he said that sarcastically or what?

“Like I told you, I never done this before. You, what is your real name.” I hope he recognize the emphasis on real even though it is not italicized.

[why do you want to know?]

Is he for real? At this point I just want a proper conversation. Is there a rule in gay dating apps that you cannot tell your real name?

“Never mind. I’m just trying to keep this nonsense conversation going,” I replied.

[damn you’re so harsh. My name is Earth.]

“Oh okay,” I answered disinterestedly.

After one minute, my phone vibrated again. I thought he already gave up with our conversation. [what are you looking for here?]

“Nothing really. My friend wanted me to try gay dating apps but yeah, I decided to give it a try now.”

[and what motivated you to try this app now?]

“I’m just bored at the moment. I thought it might be fun to try it once and for all. And apparently, it is no fun at all.”

[come on now. It is fun here. You just got to find the right person to talk to.]

“And apparently that person is not you.” I really want to send that to him and end the conversation but I don’t want to look like a jackass person. So, I decided to change it a bit. “Yeah.”

[so, what are you doing right now?]

“Nothing, I’m in our house, trying to distract myself from things. How ‘bout you?”

[eating dinner with friends. you mentioned about distracting yourself, why? What’s happening?]

“It’s not that serious. It’s just that I don’t really want to stick up my nose into someone else’s business but somehow I can’t help it.”

[well does it have something to do with you?]

“No…I think so. I don’t really know. There are things that I cannot properly put into words but let’s just say that we are complete stranger until six days ago but something is telling me we are more than that.”

[Well, I don’t really know how to help you with that one but one thing is for sure; nothing stays in the dark, eventually it will come to light. I hope you’ll find your answers soon.]

I guess my cold replies worked out. He is not annoying anymore. “Well, I hope by that time it’s not too late.”

[judging by your answers, it makes me curious what is this all about.]

“Well if you really want to have an idea of what I am talking about, I want to ask you a question.”

[sure. What is it?]

“Is it normal to worry for someone you just met?”

[I think there’s nothing wrong with that.]

“I mean one week ago, I don’t really give a damn about that person but why do I feel like this suddenly? I never been like this before.”

[You should remember that being worried can be as it is. It doesn’t correspond to a certain degree of emotion. Let say that you see a child crossing the street alone, anyone can be worried to that child because it’s dangerous. Simple as that. Maybe you are just overthinking yourself because you are experiencing something that you never felt before.]

“Yeah. Maybe I am just overwhelmed. Everything is happening so fast that it’s a lot to process.”

[I just want to ask, why are worried for that person. Is he doing illegal drugs or something?]

How do I answer this question? Maybe I should keep it vague as possible? “Well he’s about to die.” Something like that? I paused for a moment and started typing. “It’s hard to explain but let’s just say that when something is bound to happen but you are not sure if you can stop it, what else can you do?”

[If it is inevitable then we have no choice but to accept it. But it won’t hurt if you try to do something. It’s better than doing nothing. Besides, if you have an idea about it for quite some time, then maybe it means that you can still do something about it.]

Ghaaad this is making me crazy. I was about to type my response to him when suddenly an error occurred. Profile not found. I went back to my inbox and suddenly he is missing. Did he block me? I was about to say thank you for the advice but I didn’t have the chance to at least type it in.

When I looked at the time, their plane already landed and I am minutes away from seeing them again after a year and a half. I tried to call Mild’s phone again but no one is still picking it up. I decided to text her instead.

“Mild! Stop sulking and you better get off the bed. Go to this bar, they are having a party there. Go there now!” I then sent to her the location of the bar where they’re gonna celebrate Jumpol’s new drama.

I kept on checking my phone if she read it already but she is still not responding at least checking my texts.

“Ghurl, we need to do something at least. That’s what you want right? Go to the bar, now! I am just picking up my parents.”

I am spamming messages on Mild’s phone familiar voice called my name.

“Honey!” I looked at the voice’s direction and saw my parents,

“Mom, Dad. Welcome back!” I run towards them and they gave me a very tight hug.

“My baby, I missed you so much. You grown taller?” My mom asked.

“He got it on my genes,” my father teased. True enough I got my height on my father side while my fair skin on my mom’s.

“How’s your flight?” we are walking our way out of the airport.

“It’s tiring but seeing you right now I am fully recharge.” She then side hugged me and kissed me on my cheeks.

“If you only knew how excited your mom is when we are boarding in. I should have taken a video of hers because she kept on smiling and giggling.”

“Can you blame me, darling? We’ve never been in Thailand for so long and I really want to hug my baby boy for quite some time now. I am now thinking of cancelling some of our appointments and just spend some time with him.” Her arms wrapped around my waist is a different comfort. That feeling where you feel very secured, love and appreciated.

No one can love you the same way your parents do.

“I already filtered out some of our meetings darling. If you want, I can go instead, we really can’t cancel some of it specially the one in Chiang Mai.” My dad voiced out.

“Honey, do you want to go on a vacation in Chiang Mai next week?” My mom asked.

“Sure, mom. I have no work right now so I am basically free.” I placed their luggage at the back of the car. “Where do you want to eat mom, dad?”

“Let’s go to your aunt Jane’s restaurant. She already knew we are coming back so probably she is now preparing our dinner,” dad replied.

“Alright.”

While driving, I realized how much I missed this kind of conversation with my parents. You may think that because they are workaholic, they don’t have any time with me anymore. That is not the case with them. During my college life, they make sure that they know what happened during the whole day. They are hands on with me during those times so that I won’t feel burdened and burned out.

“Honey, how’s your life here in Thailand? Are you still spending your weekends with Mild?”

“Yes mom. When I feel bored in my condo unit, thank heavens she is very welcoming to me. She basically saves me from going insane.”

“You’re already in legal age. Why don’t you find a boyfriend or girlfriend?” I immediately looked at them in my rearview mirror. I can’t say that my dad is happy about what mom said but I know he is not angry. It’s like he’s just neutral about it or he doesn’t care I guess.

We never really had the chance to talk about it but I really want to know what is his stand. I want to know what he thinks about it.

“I’d rather spend most of my time with Mild. It’s too stressful to be in a relationship nowadays. You don’t know if someone is serious or just looking for fun whatsoever.”

“You’re already grown up, son. We trust your decisions in life, we will always be here for you,” my dad echoed.

“Why don’t you just come with us in the states. Or take a vacation. Since you are not doing anything here, might as well live with us there. We can go to Broadway if you want, rent an apartment in New York. Live in California, it’s your call, hon.”

“A vacation sounds good. I’ll think about it, mom.” I replied in excitement.

“Son, your Uncle Phil asked me why you didn’t accept the job offer. He is bugging me about if for quite some time now.” When I graduated Fine Arts like two years ago, I really don’t know what to do with my life. I took a course that I know I can excel at because I love to draw, but it is not really my first choice in college.

Performance Arts is what I want but eventually chose Fine Arts because I love to draw and design. At least I can do the other thing that I love.

Uncle Phil wants to hire me to their advertising company but I eventually rejected the offer because I don’t want to be pressured with my work. Also, just like what I mentioned before, I am already good with having part time job.

“I just don’t like the idea of someone bossing me around and being pressured with deadlines. I cannot really perform well with that kind of environment. Knowing Uncle Phil’s company, my workload there will be huge,” I answered.

“Now I regret my decision not supporting your passion for Performing Arts. I should have not sided with your father that time. Have I done that, for sure you are living your life to the fullest by now.”

“Mom, I am okay. I am doing fine and I am not regretting anything okay. What’s done is done and I am content with my life for now.” I gave them a smile.

“If only I knew about Meryl Streep, Viola Davis or Anne Hathaway during those times, I should have supported you with your dream of being an advocate of performance art.”

I just giggled and laugh with them. When we reached to Aunt Jane’s restaurant, she welcomed us in open arms and gave my mom a very tight hug. We ate dinner together with her and had some conversations about things that I don’t have any idea about. Then, my parent’s college friends eventually came one by one and it seems like they are having a small reunion. Great.

They will stay in the hotel for two days while someone is cleaning our house. I could have done that but I totally forgot because of Tay.

Speaking of Tay, I just totally forgot about him because of the chitter chatter that I had with my parent’s friends. I checked my wristwatch, it is already Sunday, two in the morning. I immediately went on Twitter to see the trend list to see if Tay is trending.

I went outside the restaurant and tried to call Jumpol. After a few minutes, the phone rang.

“Hello? Jumpol.”

“Ayyyyyeeeeee…Newwiee. Where are you? I thought you’ll celebrate with us?” it seems like he is already drunk.

“Where is Tay?”

“Prae? Who's Prae?” I am sure he can barely hear me because of the guys shouting and singing in the karaoke.

“Stupid. TAY! TAWAN! Where is Tay?”

“Ahhhh…your boyfriend. Errrr…Guys, where is Tay?” He’s not my boyfriend for fuck’s sake. “GUYS WHERE IS TAWAN EEEEEEY!!!!” Goodness gracious Jumpol.

I just ended the call and decided to go there on my own. I went inside the restaurant to let my parents know that I’ll be going first. They are having fun with their conversation, laughing and drinking wines.

I don’t even know if they understood what I said because they are focused on listening to one of their classmates boring storytelling.

I went into my car, started the engine and drive my way to the bar. I again tried to call Mild to see if this time she will pick up and thankfully she did. “Mild. Have you read my text messages?”

“What?” Don’t tell me she slept the whole day?! I can sense it in her voice.

“Oh my goodness, Mild. Did you sleep all day? I texted you the location of the bar where Tay is right now. You are literally two kilometers away from them. I don’t know what is happening because it is already Sunday and he should be dead by now but he is not yet on the trend list.” Wait that doesn’t sound appropriate. But I am panicking okay.

“I cannot feel my body, Newwiee.”

This is insane. None of my friends who are close to Tay is helpful right now. I am literally going full ballistic about the situation and we are not even friends. I should be worrying about him the least but whatever.

After ten minutes, I arrived at the bar and went inside to it. They already know me because Jumpol and Mild always go here during our college life. I am responsible for picking up their drunk asses when the bar is about to close.

I asked the receptionist where Jumpol and his friends are and he led me to them. I can hear their noises as I approach the door. When I entered, I saw Jumpol standing in the table and singing his heart out while a bunch of drunk dudes is either cheering him or taking a video of him.

Disgusting.

I immediately snatch the microphone to Jumpol and gave it to the guy next to him. I dragged him down, “Where is Tay?”

“Ohhhh Newwiee baby, you’re here. Looking for your hubby?” I can smell the alcohol in his system.

“Hubby my ass. Where is he?”

“There, sleeping.” I looked at the direction he is pointing and I saw a guy sleeping. I cannot recognize him because he is facing the other way around, so I approached him to take a look if it is Tay.

I looked at the guy and it is not Tay. “Off, this is not Tay.”

“Maybe he went to the restroom,” a deep voice of a guy told me. He is quite tall and buffy. The veins in his arms are visible that nurses would not find it hard to inject something into his system. He has a meek facial feature.

“Okay,” I immediately run out to look for Tay in the bathroom.

The room is empty. I opened the cubicle one by one but there’s nothing. I then decided to go outside the bar and look for him. I search around the bar but no presence of him either. Then a thought came into my mind.

Is he driving a car?

There is a parking area in front of club but there is also an underground or sort of where other customers can park their cars. I ran to the parking lot below the bar to search for him. The area is not that occupied much and I guess the cars parked here are owned by Jumpol and his friends.

As a walked further, I can hear some noises like someone is shouting or whatsoever. I saw a group of guys wearing black shirts and it seems like they are ganging up on someone.

“Hey! What are you doing?” I shouted. They all turned around. One of them signaled his members which I think it means he wants them to gang up on me.

Too bad, I studied martial arts for my Physical Education way back in college.

One by one, they all came to me and sad to say that they tried. They could not even lay a finger to me because before they can do it, I already went for their arms and knock them down. Five guys versus one, it should be easy for them to take that one down. But unfortunately, it is me.

When all of them are laying on the ground. I focused my attention to the two guys left standing.

“I think you are new here. Don’t you know that this area is covered with hidden CCTVs?”

“What are you talking about? I didn’t saw a single camera here. We checked it first.”

“Are you dumb? HIDDEN CCTVs. How come that you can see something that is clearly hidden?” I mocked him.

“You’re lying.” His voice is starting to crack down.

“You could only wish I am…unfortunately I am not. So, see you guys on the news tomorrow.”

“Dude, let’s go. I don’t think he is lying. We might find ourselves in trouble. Let’s go!”

And then all of them started to run for their lives. I run forward to see who is the guy they ganged up and my eyes widened when I saw Tay laying down with bruises on his face and seems like he is not breathing.

Am I too late?

I immediately checked if he is still breathing and thankfully, he is. “Tay. Tay, are you okay? Can you hear me? If you can hear me can you move two of your fingers in your right arm.

And he did.

On his left arm. Face palm of the century.

Well at least he is responsive, but I guess he can’t understand some things because he is drunk. I carried his drunk ass out of the parking area and put him inside of my car. I just hope that he will not throw up because I don’t have the patience to clean up his mess. I might kill him for real.

Thinking about it, I don’t know his address. I searched for his phone but I didn’t find anything. Maybe the thugs stole it. My goodness. I guess I have no choice but to bring him again to my condo unit.

I was driving when I received a call from Mild.

“New. What happened? Did you find him? Which hospital are you in right now?”

“Mild, calm yourself. Nothing happened, okay? I don’t know but for some reason he is still alive.” I took a glance on Tay, “I guess I saved him just in time. Same guys are beating him to them but I arrived before everything went worse.”

“Where are you right now?”

“I’m on my way to my condo unit.”

“Alright.”

He is quite heavy, not gonna lie. Maybe because he is bloated with all the alcoholic drinks he consumed. It took us around five minutes to reach my unit because I am literally carrying like a dead person’s body. He is sleeping and I can hear his soft snoring.

I laid him down on the sofa and grabbed a lukewarm water and a towel so that I can clean his wounds and bruises.

I found myself staring at his ragged but sweet face for a good minute. Not gonna lie, he is quite cute when he is sleeping. He looks like arrogant but sweet. Many fan girls would want to be on my position right now but I guess they can only dream.

I started wiping his face and then arms. I am hesitant if I have to change his clothes but I really do need to clean him up all the way. I went into my closet and looked for a shirt that I haven’t wore for a very long time. I took a deep breath first before removing his t-shirt.

My mind went blank when I saw his lifeline slowly adding numbers. It is increasing every second.

“Honey?”

If seeing Tay’s lifeline increasing is not enough, here comes my mom and dad looking at me while I undress him.

We are all in a state of shock right now.


	7. Revelation

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you guys for the support and kind words. It really helps me. I never thought that I would actually experience you know the readers commenting how they anticipates every update whatsoever. Well, this is my love letter to TayNew because they literally changed my life during this pandemic. They are the reason why I started writing again.

Anyways, xoxo lovelots and muwah! 

Enjoy~

CHAPTER 6

Zero years, zero months, zero days, zero hours, one minute and forty-three seconds…

00:00:00:01: 02:03

Zero years, zero months, zero days, one hour, two minutes and three seconds…

I am staring at his body clock for quite some time now. It really increases as time goes by. What surprise me the most is how fast the numbers are adding. Does that mean that I saved him? Did I pressed something on his body that it starts malfunctioning?

I don’t know what I was thinking when I start pressing his body, chest, arms and legs. It is like I am trying to find a button or something. I was pressing his boobs when suddenly a familiar voice called my name.

“Honey?”

My eyes widened when I realized who is the person calling my nickname. I turned around and stared at the two persons standing in the doorway. My heart starts pounding really hard because this is the first time that they are seeing me with someone who they don’t know.

And the worst part is they probably saw me undressing him and pinching his body.

“Mom, Dad. What are you doing here?” I stood up holding Tay’s t-shirt.

“Well, you forgot to leave our luggage at the restaurant. So, we went here to reclaim it and visit your unit,” dad explained. I cannot really determine with the tone of his voice if he is angry or not. But this is better than what I expected from him if one day he’ll see me with a guy or something.

“Why are you pressing his chest like you are checking the tenderness of a meat?” My mom asked in a playful manner. They are just casually walking inside of my apartment.

“I-I was just checking his vital signs mom. Some random guys ganged up on him and I am just making sure he is breathing and alive,” I chuckled.

“Vital signs? On his boobs? Aren’t you supposed to be checking his pulse on his arms, not on his chest?” Now they are teaming up on me. Nice.

“Hey, Newwiee. Be honest with me. Is he your boyfriend?” When my mom dropped my nickname Honey, it’s a sign that she is starting to became serious.

“No, mom. He is not. He’s just an acquaintance.”

“Since when? We haven’t seen his face before,” it’s dad’s turn to investigate.

Six days ago. “We know each other since college. It’s just that I am spending time with Mild that time.”

“Look at his face, he’s bruised. What happened?” My mom looked at Tay who is sleeping. I then decided to put a shirt on him because it’s quite cold.

“I don’t know. I went to the bar where Off and his friends are and then I saw some guys in the parking area ganging up on someone. And then I saw him there,” I recalled while treating his scratches in the lip area.

“Why you didn’t bring him to the hospital instead?” My dad is arranging the pillow where Tay’s head is laying.

“Things will be more complicated if I did that, Dad. He is not just an average person.” I replied while applying the ointment.

“What do you mean? Is he a member of gang or drug syndicate?” My mom is overreacting, so I had to stop her immediately.

“No. He’s a famous television actor. Tay Tawan is his name. Search it if you don’t believe me,” I challenged them which my dad did. “He had an awful week and the last thing that he wants to happen is waking up later in the hospital with his face all over the internet.”

“Did you call his manager? He should be taking care of him instead, not you.”

“I don’t have his manager’s phone number. His phone is also missing, probably the thugs stole it,” I replied.

“Well, darling our son is not lying. This guy has over one million followers on Instagram and won multiple awards years ago.”

“Why would I lie, dad.” I am finished treating Tay’s wound and focused my attention on talking with my parents. “He’s lucky that I found him right on time…or else I don’t know what could have happened to him.”

“Don’t tell me you…”

“Yes, Mom. I don’t know but this time I managed to save someone.”

“New, how many times do we have to tell you that it is not your fault. You’re just a kid that time,” my dad tried to console me.

“I know that, Dad. I am not blaming myself anymore. What I am thinking of right now is why I managed to do so and why him of all people.”

“What did your grandma teach you? Have you forgot it already?”

“See things in a different light,” I replied.

“When you cannot find answers to your questions, maybe you should think of things in different way. Don’t make it complicated,” my mom is spitting some words of wisdom right now. “Instead of bombarding yourself with questions, just think of yourself as fortunate enough because this time you managed to do something and saved someone. Yes, everything happens for a reason and not everything has a complicated reason to begin with. It could be just as simple as he needed help, you helped him. That’s it.”

“I think I have an idea why you are curious,” my dad intervened.

“What is it, Dad?”

“I am not sure about it though,” he smiled and stood up. “Let’s go darling, we still need to check in. We had a long day.”

“Dad? You’re just gonna leave me hanging here?”

“Trust me, we don’t realize that answers are already in front of us because we tend to over complicate things,” he kissed me in the forehead and hugged me tight. “Just remember, your power is limited to a certain group of people. Start from there first. I trust that you can already find answers to your question.”

My mom gave me a smile, “see you soon, honey.”

I bid them goodbye with confusion because I don’t really get what my dad just said. Start from the fact that my power is limited to a certain group of people.

You know what I don’t know anymore, I am tired because I had a very long day. I’m going to take a bath and just sleep.

It’s been thirty minutes after I finished my skin care routine and I am still wide awake. Now thinking about it, I already have an idea what dad is trying to say earlier. I think I was just trying to think of deeper reason why my powers worked on Tay but in reality, it is simple: My ability works on people who are close to my heart.

Do I like Tay?

I don’t know. It just makes no sense because one week ago, I don’t really paid attention to him that much until I saw his lifespan. I am not fond of him during those times. I kept on trash talking Tay’s acting and his dramas at one point. So, does that mean that the sentence the more you hate, the more you love is applicable?

Well one thing is for sure, I don’t really love Tay yet.

Wait what? What do you mean yet? Scratch that, I didn’t mean to say that. What were you thinking Newwiee?

Okay stop right there. This is where the overthinking part kicks in. We can’t control out feelings okay. It is normal for us to fall in love with people. Don’t act like it is a crime against humanity to like or love someone like Tay, Newwiee. Accept the fact that he is handsome, charismatic and boyfriend material. You don’t have to deny it because there’s nothing wrong with it if that’s how you feel, okay?

You’re not in high school or college anymore. What you are feeling is valid and you should not be ashamed of that. Just don’t do something stupid if you choose to act to it.

You don’t have to deny what is pretty obvious or else, you’re just fooling yourself.

Now thinking about it, does that mean that I really started having small development of feelings towards Tay because of Mild’s addiction? Come to think of it, I happened to know every detail of the story where Tay starred in. I even managed to criticize his acting skills whatsoever which leads to the fact that I dedicated time for him at some point.

I reached the point where even though I am making fun of Mild’s obsession with Tay’s drama, I ended up finding myself watching with her.

All those times, I thought I am not fond of him but in reality, he is slowly entering my system.

Is that the reason why I can see Tay’s lifeline? Because I didn’t know that he is slowly becoming part of my life?

Just thinking of what happened earlier with me saving Tay, it solidifies the fact that I made a decision to be involved with his life.

And I hope I won’t regret that decision in the future.

It’s almost four in the morning and I felt my tummy craving from something to eat. I don’t want to wake him up but sometimes, I would wake up in the middle of the nighttime to cook some noodles or whatsoever.

He’s blackout drunk, so I guess he won’t wake up unless I intentionally created loud noises. I get off the bed to cook something to eat. As I opened the door, I almost thrown a punch to the person in front of me.

“What the hell, Tay? What are you doing here?” I scold him while holding my chest because he scared the shit out of me.

“I…I was about to check if you’re already sleeping,” is he caught off guard because I can see his ears turning red.

“Why?” I turned the lights on and went straight to the kitchen to see if there’s something that I can cook for the both of us.

“Errr…I suddenly felt hungry after I threw up everything I ate earlier,” he said.

“Oh okay. Then sit over there and wait. I’ll check what can I cook for the both of us,” I ordered him which he obeyed.

“Can I borrow your phone? I’ll just send a text message to my manager. I can’t find my phone.”

“Yeah. I guess that thugs stole your phone.” I handed over my phone to him and started searching in the fridge. It’s already four in the morning so might as well cook a full course meal. I decided to cook chicken and fried rice for him. Instead of deep frying the chicken breasts, I’ll just season it with spices and pan seared it for couple of minutes.

While cutting the ingredients for the fried rice, I took a glimpse on Tay and it seems like something is bothering him.

“What’s the matter?”

“The phone. They could have just taken my wallet instead of my phone,” he said in despair.

“Why? Have you taken some NSFW photos that’s why you’re worried?”

He looked at me giving a really? facial expression. “I don’t take nudes.”

“And don’t you dare do it. The attention that you will get when it gets leaked will skyrocket. You might even be the hot topic for at least one week. It can change people’s perspective about you, depending on what will they see. But one thing is for sure, internet never forgets. Once it’s out, you can never delete that shit forever,” I narrated. I thought I will hear something from him but a total silence consumed my whole apartment. For good ten seconds, I can only hear the knife hitting the chopping board. I looked at him and he is just staring at me. “W-Why?”

“Thinking about it, you only met me four days ago. You said that you are not fond of me which did hurt a little. Let me ask you this question…” I literally can’t proceed on chopping this garlic because it feels like I am on a hotseat right now. “Why are you taking care of me? Is it because you are starting to lik-”

Before he even managed to finish the question, I frown in pain because I cut my finger with the knife. I immediately went to the sink to wash it with water. It stings like hell. I was trying to stop the bleeding when Tay appeared beside me.

“Are you okay?” What if I slice your finger with a knife, you think you’d be okay?

“Yes. It’s not a deep cut.” I then immediately went to the living area where the first aid kid is placed and put band aid on it.

“You’ll find it hard to cook because of your finger. Just sit there and let me finish everything,” he offered.

“Do you even know how to cook?”

He smirked and went back in the kitchen, slicing every ingredient. “I live alone. When P’Mark is not available or I didn’t eat outside, I always cook my own food. I learned it from my grandma.”

When he mentioned that he learned it from his grandmother, I felt something. I remember watching Tay’s interviews that day. One thing that I noticed is that he never failed to mention his mom and grandmother.

“By the way, how did I end up here? Did Jumpol drop me off?”

“Huh, I brought you here all by myself. He didn’t even know that you went out because he is that drunk. I should have not trusted him to look for you.” It’s too late when I realized what I just said. I just tried to avoid doing eye contact with him.

“Why would you do that? Asking Off to look out for me?” With the way he delivered the line, he is not teasing me. He is genuinely curious about it.

Should I tell him about my ability? I mean will he even believe me if I told him about it. I don’t want to freak him out. But come to think of it. If I told him about it, he might feel off about hanging out with me. He’ll surely avoid me because who wants to spend time with someone who can see someone else’s remaining days?

“Because I thought that is the only thing that I can do to save you,” I answered.

“Save me from what? From the thugs?”

“From dying.” I replied straightforwardly.

“Dying? What do you mean?” I can see that his face is starting to display some confusion. “You know that someone will attack me?”

“Well not really,” I’m trying to compose a sentence that he can fully understand. “I actually have a special ability.” I am staring at him, trying to analyze his reaction. “I can see someone else’s remaining days.”

Thank heavens he is already done cutting the ingredients. He is just placing them in a bowl. When he heard what I said, he literally stopped and took a glance on me.

Our eyes met. Mine is telling him that I am serious whereas his is telling that he is confused.

“Special ability? What do you mean?”

I took a small breath in before revealing to him the truth, “I can see someone’s remaining days. The days they will live.”

“A-And you saw mine?” I can say that he is quite disturbed with the revelation but he is trying to compose himself.

“Yeah,” I chuckled.

“Why? What’s so funny about it? Am I going to die soon?” The fear is now evident on his voice. “Wait. I don’t want to know, don’t answer that question. I won’t listen if you tell me.” He distracted himself by preparing some rice and washing it.

“My ability only works on people that I am personally close with. People who is very close to my heart. That’s why when I saw yours when I watched you in the television, I can’t explain how shock I was because we never even met before.”

He stopped with what he is doing and turned around.

“Imagine, I only have an idea about you because I’ve been watching your series with Mild. That’s it. For me, you were Pete, Khao, Eugene and Mark. Fictional characters that I met because of Mild’s wild support for you. So, imagine the shock when I saw your lifespan during last Sunday’s episode when you saved Amira from drowning.”

I am looking at the bandage. “Last Sunday, I saw yours with less than a year. I am actually doubtful at first because maybe there’s an error on the editing of the episode. But deep inside, I know it is not because who would tattoo on their chest some random numbers like that. So, I told her that I will join her with during your fan meet. Then, that’s when I confirmed that I did read it right.”

He is not trying to stop me from talking. “When you took off that shirt, I saw your remaining days. Zero years, zero months, three days, fifteen hours, eight minutes and twenty seconds. It’s funny because I cannot vividly remember those numbers for a while but now, I can easily remember the exact numbers that I saw on your chest that time.”

“Is that the reason why you offered a ride that day? Because you felt pity on me.” I wish that's the only reason.

“No, it was not. I don’t know why but during those time, I am genuinely worried about you. You had a very long day for sure and the last thing you want is having more on your plate when it is already overflowing. So, I offered you an escape which lands you here on my apartment.”

“And you saved me today,” the way he said the word saved is like he’s being thankful about it.

“At first, I asked Jumpol to look out for you because I am not really sure if I can save you. There are many ways of departing. Accident, uncurable diseases, and fortuitous events. I don’t know what will be the cause. So, I just decided to let someone there be with you who I know can do rational things in case of emergency. But I guess my judgment is wrong because he didn’t even notice you leaving the karaoke room.”

“I literally checked the trend list first to see if you are on the list. Because Jumpol is intoxicated like hell, I decided to go there on my own and try to do something even though I don’t know what’s going to happen. My heart is really pounding when I was driving my way to the bar hoping that it is not too late. I failed to save my grandfather before, I cannot let that happen again this time.”

Our eyes met again. “And here we are. You’re in front of me standing and still breathing.”

“So, what’s next? How long do I have to live? What are the repercussions of you saving me? Will that harm you?”

I stood up and walked myself to him. He is like confused about what I am doing to the point that he laid his back against the wall. I touched his left chest where the lifeline is underneath the shirt he is wearing. “Your time is increasing. I don’t know what will it do to me but I am just glad that I managed to do something which I wish I did fifteen years ago. The only thing that I don’t want to happen is for you to feel indebt to me. You don’t have to return the favor and be weird. Just live your life. Build the house with swimming pool and garden. Be with the person you are waiting for and live a happy life. You don’t owe me anything. I did it for myself. To save myself from the guilt had I failed to save you.”

I smiled to him and decided to go back to my room. “Just call me if the food is ready.” I told him while walking back.

“Can we be friends?” He asked.

I turned around and looked at him. He is patiently waiting for me reply. “Mmmhh. Sure.”

As I entered my room, I took a deep breath and exhaled it all. My heart is literally pounding as I confess everything to him. That is not how I imagine things would turn out. I expected him to be more confused and will actually act weirder than me.

He is the totally opposite of that. He is so composed and calm that I have to pretend to be the same because if not, I will totally act weird and shit.

I throw myself on the bed and buried my face in the pillow. I don’t know why but there is really something every time our eyes meet.

“You did great, Newwiee. You just did what is right.” I told myself before shutting down.

I am slowly opening my eyes. Earlier, I am having a hard time sleeping but after what happened, my body literally shut down. I can see the sun is already high which I assume it’s almost noon time. I turned around and saw Mild with her laptop, sitting on my study desk.

“Mild?”

“Good Morning, Sleeping Beauty.” She teased.

“It’s too early for that, Mild.” I reminded her while getting off the bed. “I told Tay to wake me up when the food is ready.” I looked at the wall clock, “It’s already eleven thirty.”

“He told me to not wake you up. I’ve been here since six and you are sleeping like a polar bear. I am pinching you but you’re in a very deep sleep.”

“What time did he leave?” We went outside and sat in the dining table where the food is under the food cover.

“He left around six thirty. P’Mark picked him up. Which speaking of, Phi wants me to tell you how grateful he is for saving Tay from the thugs. They got a copy of the CCTV and they are already trying to identify the culprits. I guess you haven’t forgotten what you learned from Martial Arts like in second year college.”

“I didn’t get 98 on my final grades with P.E. just for me to easily forgot everything.” I smirked. “Let’s eat.”

“Surely. I am already starving but I didn’t want to eat without you because your Tay cooked this specially for you. I want you to taste it first,” it’s too early for this mocking, Mild.

“He is not mine.” I told her, “probably will never be.”

Mild’s eye widened, “WAIT! Is this for real? Did I hear it right? Probably will never be. Does that mean that you hoped at one point?”

“There’s no point of lying because I literally singlehandedly knocked off five guys to save him. I put myself in danger to save him. On my way to the bar earlier, I realized that Tay might grown on me without me knowing about it. You know, just like in the saying the more you hate, the more you love but, in my case, I think I like Tay.”

“What happened to you? Is this the New that I know?” She started pinching my cheeks.

“I mean what’s the point of lying right? I can easily get over this because I already did my part. I saved him and that’s what matters. That’s the least thing that I can do because I saw how hopeful he was when we talked that night. I guess that’s also the turning point of everything. I think Tay and I could be great friends. I mean he is not the person I thought he was. It doesn’t feel good to talk trash around his back. Criticizing his character’s life decision and whatnot.”

She held my hand, “I never thought that I would see this side of you. And I want to apologize if I slept all day yesterday instead of trying to help you. I guess I just became hopeless.”

“It’s okay. The only thing that pisses me off is Jumpol. He’s literally became useless the moment that booze hit his system.”

“Just let him get away with it this time. He’s celebrating for something special,” she said. I just sighed and started eating the food that Tay prepared for us.

I guess he is not joking when he said that he can cook. It is really tasty and delicious. Too bad, I think he’s already out of danger and I cannot save him anymore. I want him to cook again for me.

It is that good.


	8. Are You Okay?

MGM released a statement about Tay’s project and its fate. They decided to push through with it but they will not be revealing anything yet in order to preserve a smooth pre-production preparation. According to some insiders that Jumpol talked to, they changed the production that will handle the project. They will start all over again.

They handled the situation and explained to everyone what happened. They also apologized for what happened and asked everyone to stop bashing people specially Tay and Gun.

Speaking of Attaphan, he also apologized so Tay personally about what happened. He said that his management had issue with the previous production team specially their casting director. He also explained that he didn’t really gave his 100% commitment to the project. It just so happened that someone from that team leaked the information about him and Tay being partnered together and posted on social media that it is confirmed even though he didn’t sign up yet for the project.

So, it’s that casting director’s fault after all.

“What? Are you for real?” My eyes have never been this wide opened.

“Yes! Just try it! Why don’t you audition? I mean you have nothing to lose and everything to gain from it.” Jumpol, Mild and I are having lunch together at his place because he just moved in. The thing about his unit is that the security is really tight and it’s not that far away from MGM Building.

“They are looking for fresh faces that has potential star quality,” he added.

“If they are looking for star quality, MGM literally has a full roster of talented artists. The one that they debuted two years ago with you and Tay. I don’t need to do that.”

“But what the management also wants someone new that can be partnered with Tay for a very long time. They’ll establish four couples that will be called pillars of MGM,” Jumpol replied.

“Just like a house, those pillars will be the main support of MGM’s plan for the next couple of years. We all know that the company is having a hard time right now. That’s why they released a statement and cut ties with that production team because they don’t want any additional troubles. They hope that the pillars that they will choose is rock solid and can really help the company in the future,” Mild added.

“How did you know about all of these?” I asked her.

“One of the writers that MGM recruited is my classmate before. She said that they were given some time to pitch some projects for the four pillars. She actually is the screenwriter of the series of Krist-Singto tandem. They are currently shooting the series and almost done with the sequester,” she said while scooping some chocolate ice cream that I bought.

“I guess MGM is really serious with rebranding themselves after the backlash they received on the internet with regards on their talents project through the years. They are slowly learning and actually has concreate plan which excites me a lot. I guess Krist-Singto tandem will be revealed first. Then myself and whoever I’ll be partner with. Then Tay and his missing prince charming. With the fourth pair, they are having a hard time looking for homegrown artist that has a solid fanbase. So, I guess they will acquire some from the auditionees.”

“I mean to be honest, compared to other entertainment company, they are way behind. Quality wise, they are so left behind already. They are stuck with the same old shenanigans. Love rivalry, mistress and missing child. Take a look with Nadao, they are releasing one series per year but they make sure that it is high quality. The only thing that is helping MGM right now is the solid fanbases that their artists has,” I told them.

“I guess someone from the higher management read all the tweets regarding the fans opinions about the company. They won’t do all of this retrenchment and lay off if they didn’t sneak into some fan’s timeline.” She knows what is happening on social media because she is literally one of the most followed Tay stan out there. She’s also vocal about some things which makes me wonder how can she still enter the building.

“Why don’t you try it. You love acting right? I mean this is different with theatre but at least an opportunity is being given to you to pursue acting. They will conduct auditions for four weeks for the whole month of January. It’s New Year and it’ll be New’s Year.” Jumpol is really good with words. He might be playful at some times but he knows how to be serious.

“I don’t know. I’ll think about it,” I answered in confused tone.

“Okay, let’s do this. Do you guy have plans this week?” he asked.

“Me? I am just finishing some academic works but aside from that, I am free.” Mild answered.

“My parents want me to join them in Chiang Mai but things could still change. Why?”

Jumpol then dropped his bowl of ice cream, “Do you want guys to be an extra for my new drama?”

“What do you mean?” Mild questioned.

“This week they will reveal to us who will be my partner for the bl series. Then they will give us some tentative script that we will use for a mock up trailer. I guess the shooting will be held for two to three days,” Jumpol elaborated. “They are looking for extra talents since everything is not yet final. They want to test the chemistry between me and my partner. You two can play the role of my partner’s friends since I already read the novel and saw that he has two friends.”

“I mean mock up trailer means that it is not going to be the final cast, right?” Mild asked.

“Yeah. But who knows, they might stick to the both of you once they saw a good chemistry with the lead actor.”

“That’s scary because I’ll find it hard to balance my time with master’s and shooting. But I am totally down with the idea of mock up trailer.” I thought she will decline the offer but she eventually agreed.

I don’t know what to say to him because I am not sure about it. I was looking at my bowl of ice cream when I felt that both of them are waiting for my answer. “I don’t know. I might join my parents in Chiang Mai this week.”

“But if you have nothing to do this week, are you going do it?” He sounds excited. I mean there’s no harm in trying.

“Okay. As long as it will be for mock up trailer only then I’ll do it.” I replied to him while showing a fainted smile. I’m scared because this is a different environment for me. There will be at least three cameras pointing at me and everything that I will do will be caught.

I am also not sure if I am ready to be shouted at by the director if I missed something or I did anything off the script.

“What are you thinking about?” Off fired of a question after a brief silence.

“Well, if ever this will be my first-time doing acting after five years. The reason why I am not also good with the idea of auditioning is because I don’t want to happen again what happened when I auditioned before. I gave my 101% on that piece and being not chosen just because the other auditionee is more famous than me is a big confidence and morale degradation,” I told them.

“Newwiee, that’s like five years ago. Everything is slowly changing. That’s why MGM is looking for fresh talent meaning they are not just looking for someone who has a big following or support. If that’s what they wanted in the first place, then they will not held auditions and just handpick some candidates who has thousands of followers on social media. They are really opening the doors for new comers who has star potential.” Mild explained.

“I am scared because I know that once I get there, I’ll be giving my all in that audition. I don’t want to disappoint again myself. It’s not a win-win situation to me because I don’t want to lose my confidence that I’m building. I promised myself that I will never do auditions again until I already have the credentials and confidence.”

“If you’re not yet ready then it’s okay. You don’t have to go through the audition process if it will affect you a lot,” Jumpol replied sympathetically.

“Newwiee, listen to me. That audition five years ago, it was rigged. They didn’t even push through the second week because the reviews are hideous. They probably regretting their decision choosing that guy over you. Maybe they closed that opportunity for you because fate is preparing something much better. Your talent should be showcased not only in a hall with maximum of one thousand people. With that talent of yours, millions of people should see that. Not just here in Thailand but around the globe. Also use that setback as an inspiration for your big comeback. You’re a hidden gem and the world will see you shine soon.” I know that she is just trying to stop me from doubting myself but she doesn’t have to recite that litany just to prove a point. It sounded so cheesy.

“You don’t have to say that cheesy monologue, Mild.” I told her, “but thank you. Thank you for being my number one supporter. For believing in me even though my parents didn’t.”

She smiled and pinched my face, “you know how much I believe in you. I didn’t say those words because I am your friend. I said those because I was there when the audition held and disregarding our friendship, I can still say that you slain that audition than anyone else.”

“Yeah. I got really bored when we watched that production. I wonder where is he right now. What was his name again?”

“Bright,” I cannot forget that person’s name. He literally crushed Newwiee’s dream that time and for what? For his bland acting? He can’t even cry properly. His fans from the university are the only reason why he got the part.”

“I mean he’s handsome and girls swoon over her. He can deliver some lines and has a great chemistry with the leading lady. But when it comes to dramatic scenes, that’s his downfall,” I watched the theatre production to see what they saw on him and I must say that it did quite disappointing but not a total wreck. “He did a great job on the audition it’s just that I know I can nail that character better than him.”

“And that’s on period, Newwiee.” Mild followed.

After we ate, Mild asked me to drive her to MGM office to deliver the bouquet of flowers from Tay’s fans in the Philippines. Because Off is also going there, he decided to join with us. He told us that the unit that he is living in right now is actually the fruit of all his labor since his debut two years ago. He is so good with saving money that in two years, he already managed to bought a unit of his own.

Jumpol is coming from a wealthy family of doctors. He is literally the only one who decided to pursue acting. They wanted to support him by sending him abroad for his doctorate degree but he declined because MGM called him and offered a contract.

He said he wanted a job where he can still manage his time with work and leisure activities. That’s why he entered showbiz because he will only be busy if he’s going to shoot a drama and starts the promotional activities. Also, he can decide when to stop anytime by not accepting project. Which is why he declined some offers in preparation for his engagement and wedding.

When we arrived at MGM office, Mild and I decided to go outside to pick up the flower from the shop. Some fans from the Philippines wants to send their moral support to Tay because according to the letter that Mild wrote last night, they know that he’s having a hard time right now and they want to give him something that will remind him somehow that there are people who got his back always.

Arriving at the shop, I thought that it’s going to be a big bouquet of flowers but it turns out to be a small size only. Mild told me that it came from a small group of fans which explains the size of it.

I mean I think fans should stop sending flowers and start sending some food or other things that the idol can use. More convenient and will not go to waste in the future.

We met Tay at the office of MGM and it seems like he’s with his manager. They are just on stand by mode and having some conversation with some staff. Mild gave him the flower and not going to lie, I can see some ray of happiness from his face.

Is it because he got a small bundle of flowers and he will not have a hard time carrying it on his way home or because he is genuinely touched because of the letter and effort?

Tay then asked Mild to take a video greeting from him to his small group of fans that gave him the flower. He thanked them and mentioned the group name.

I was just sitting there when P’Mark approached me, “Newwiee. How are you doing?”

“Phi, I am doing fine. We came from Jumpol’s unit and went here for the gift from the fans.” I answered.

“That’s great to hear. Well actually, I didn’t have the chance to personally thank you for what you have done for Tay.”

“You don’t have to mention it. I know he’s having a hard time that time and that’s the least that I can do for him,” I smiled.

“I’ve seeing your face here lately huh. Are you here for a project?”

“No, Phi. I am literally Mild’s chauffeur at this point. I am not doing anything lately so might as well be her driver so that my car won’t be stuck in the parking area.” I tried to crack a joke because everyone seems having a good time at the office. I don’t want P’Mark to be bored.

“Do you know that MGM will have an audition next month? They are looking for new faces and artists that can be added on their growing roster.”

“Yes, Phi. I heard that from Off.”

“Why don’t you try auditioning then? You can be partnered with Tay if ever. I don’t want to be shameless but I really see a good chemistry between you and Tay.”

I tried to put up a smile while listening to P’Mark’s words. Is he shipping me and Tay?

“I-I don’t really know Phi because my parents are back in Thailand and I might be flying back with them to US for a vacation or for good.” Well that’s a lie. I am not really sure about the idea of staying in the US for good because I cannot miss Mild’s graduation. And living in the US is quite challenging because my English is not really that good.

“Oh really? You’re planning on staying in the US? That’s a bummer. I really thought that you and Tay have potential to be a power couple. The moment I stepped inside your apartment unit and saw you and him together, I can sense some chemistry already.”

“Well, Tay is literally shippable with everyone else. He has that charm.” I chuckled.

“If that’s the case then I wish you nothing but the best. If ever you change you mind, here is my number and contact me. I can slip your name to the auditionee’s list anytime. Okay?”

He then showed me his number which I typed on my phone. “Okay, Phi.”

“Alright. I’ll be going then.” He then approached Tay, “I’ll be having a meeting up until this evening. Do you want me to leave the car?”

“It’s okay Phi. I can book a cab instead.”

“Well okay then. I’m heading out. See you tomorrow.” He then waved his hands and bid good bye to us.

“Take care, Phi. See you,” Tay replied.

Well, I cannot say that it is not quite awkward right now but that it is what it is. Tay is not awkward, I am. How would I supposed to act when he is around when I literally confessed to him that I can see his lifeline and saved him like a couple of days ago?

We are sitting right now in the lounge where some artists are relaxing. Mild is having some conversation with Mook and other girl artists from MGM. I only know Mook because she is Mild’s org leader in college.

I am just listening to their conversation when I heard a familiar voice that made my eyes wide. I looked back and saw Joss, Mild’s ex-boyfriend.

What is he doing here?

“Joss?” I reached out to him.

“New? Long time no see. What are you doing here? Are you an MGM artist now?” Foreshadowing? Just kidding.

“No, I am here because of Mild. She’s there talking with Mook.” They are actually good friends. Him and Mild ended their relationship in a good note. It’s a mutual decision because one needed to focus on her studies and one has to move in abroad with his family.

“Oh okay. Well, we need to catch up soon. It’s been two years?”

“Yeah. What are you doing here by the way?”

“My manager and I are in talk with some producers for a lakorn drama. We’ll be discussing the terms and conditions if I am not mistaken.”

“You’re not into modeling anymore?”

“I can still do modeling but since I have no other gigs for now, my manager and I decided to take a look on MGM’s offer.” His deep voice and pleasant face would literally own anyone’s heart.

“What drama are you starring in?”

He opened his phone, I guess he is looking for the information about the drama he is starring in. “Together in Paradise Season 3?” My face suddenly went flat. I immediately looked at Tay hoping that he is not hearing our conversation. He is just sitting there with his iPad which I cannot really tell if he heard everything.

He is replacing Tay in that drama?

“Ahhh…That’s good to hear.”

“Is it? Why it seems like you are not? What is it about? I literally have no idea about the first two seasons. I have to binge watch it first if ever to catch up with the storyline. Is it a good series? Be honest with me.”

“It is good, really good. I just didn’t expect the changes that will happen on the series for it’s third season.” I reasoned out.

“Well, I trust your opinion about this one. I’ll let you know if I accepted the offer. Do you still use that same number?” I nodded. “Can you help me just in case?”

“Sure. Just tell me and we’ll talk about it.” I think instead of being an actual actor, I should be auditioning for director or assistant director.

“Okay, great. See you then. Mild seems busy right now, just give her my regards.” He smiled and waved his hand.

“Sure. Let’s have dinner next time. It’s nice seeing you again. Bye.”

Then he walked his way inside the office. I guess he’s going to a conference room or something.

I walked back into Mild and Mook’s conversation as if nothing happened and Tay is just there, browsing on his iPad. So, the reason why Tay’s role will not be reprised is because Joss will take over? I thought they already canceled the show. I mean that’s what I assumed considering that Tay is the main character. I am now wondering how will they smoothly transitioned Joss’ character in the storyline. I guess we will see it on Sunday which is the last episode of Together in Paradise Season 2.

SATURDAY

According to Jumpol the shooting for the mock up trailer will start on Monday and will end on Wednesday. I just got back from Chiang Mai where we visited some relatives and also had a relaxation trip. Mild wants me to spend the night at her house because it’s second to the final episode of Tay’s drama.

Based on last weeks preview, there will be some revelation that will happen and if I am not mistaken, maybe it is about the DNA test that Amira’s family run. So, today will be the grand revelation if Tay and Amira are blood related or not.

To be honest, I know that they are not because Amira’s dad slept on Mark’s mom when she is already pregnant with Mark. That is the detail that I noticed when the flashback was shown. She is not feeling well that time because she is already pregnant that time which Amira’s dad took advantage of and slept with her.

Tay’s program airs every Saturday and Sunday at eight thirty in the evening.

Mild prepared some snacks that we can eat while watching. We have popcorn, hotdog sandwich and root beer. I guess it will be a very long night because based on twitter, the hashtag for tonight’s episode which is #TogetherInParadise2EP13 is already trending at number 1.

We are not even starting yet.

Not going to lie, I feel bad for Tay because he is not reprising his role anymore for next season. Majority of the viewers are saying that they are watching the series because of Tay. I don’t know how will the fans react if the news about Tay not coming back next season is announced.

How will they announce that Tay’s character is already out of the picture in the next installment?

I mean they already finished filming the series nine months ago. What is done is done. For sure the production team had discussion with this one because the support from the fans is overwhelming.

It is all because of Tay.

But I guess they already made up their mind. They already contacted Joss for the role, so Tay is really chopped off from the series.

The episode is starting. The opening scene is where we left off last week. Tay’s character is hospitalized because he was beaten up by Amira’s ex-boyfriend who wants to get back together with her. They are confronting him and Amira in the hospital because the ex-boyfriend formed an alliance with Amira’s mother who is against to Mark-Amira’s impending wedding.

They are confronting the mother of Mark about what happened 21 years ago and they said that they have proof of it which is inside the brown envelop which is Amira’s dad is holding. The tension is building because Amira kept on asking her dad about the truth and he said that he indeed slept with Mark’s mother.

Mark’s mom on the other hand is denying the allegation saying that he is not the father of Mark. She said that whatever is inside the envelop is pure lies because she is already pregnant that time when she and Amira’s dad slept together.

Just like what I said earlier.

The tension kept on going up because Amira’s mom is one hundred percent sure that Mark is her step-son. If you think that her reason for being this petty is because of what happened to her husband and Mark’s mom twenty years ago, then you are thinking it wrong. She is like this because if ever that Amira and Mark successfully became married couple, the company that her son, Amira’s older brother, worked hard for will be given to Mark as part of her husband’s alimony or gift to the newly wed.

So, if the result in the test points out that Mark is indeed Amira’s step brother then shit is about to get real. It will be for sure cliff hanger for next season.

And commercial break. The first gap is already finished. It was a very long first gap. Twenty minutes if I counted it correctly. When Amira’s dad pulled out the piece of paper, the camera went black and then preview for next episode which we see Amira crying.

Does that mean that they are really siblings? My God, they are doing Tay’s character dirty if that’s the case.

After five minutes of commercial, the second gap is already starting.

Amira’s dad is slowly pulling out the piece of paper. The background music starts to build up the emotional. He then read the content of the paper. No one is speaking in the room. Our eyes are focused on the screen.

“Mark has liver cancer, stage four.”

“HAAAAAAAAAAA???!!!!” My jaw literally dropped. Mild and I are totally in shock because of what Amira’s dad just said.

“What do you mean stage four cancer?” Mark’s mom asked.

“He is not my son.” He replied. “I performed my own DNA test on Mark couple of days ago and the result came in via e-mail. I noticed that Mark’s sudden change of appearance and ordered our family doctor to check on his history. He has stage four liver cancer.” They explained that he may look healthy but he is battling with it for over a year now. They diagnosed it one year ago but it is already at stage three.

It doesn’t make any sense. Tay, I mean Mark is just there saying nothing. It seems like he also has an idea about it. Is that the reason why he is pushing the wedding? Because his remaining days are already counted?

Is this true to life?

I looked at Mild and just like me she is confused about what just happened. This is not the ending that I was expecting for Tay’s character. They literally said let’s kill his character so that he’ll definitely will not come back next season. That is like the least thing that I would think of happening.

And then cue in the scene where Amira is crying outside Mark’s room.

I then checked my twitter account and lurk in the trending list. Mark is trending at number two while tonight’s episode is still number one.

I clicked to it and just like what I expected, everyone is confused and angry. I cannot with these fans. Some of them are really tagging the screenwriter of the series and saying some things that they should not be saying in the first place.

Before the episode ended, Mark said that he will not push through with the wedding. He doesn’t want to be Amira’s last love. They talked about their journey and he will be happier if she’s going to find a new love that can be with her until her hair turns grey. He is hoping that she’ll be able to fulfil his dream of having three kids and a house.

But with another man.

Seeing Mark right now, for the first time my heart is breaking.

I am heartbroken because for the first time, I felt Tay’s acting. You can really see in his eyes that he is affected with his character’s fate.

I am heartbroken because they did Tay dirty here. There are so many ways of ending the series in a good note. Not this one. If this is their way of introducing Joss’ character next season, being Amira’s new love interest, then I am not buying it. They should have just finished the franchise in two seasons and started over again with a brand new story and characters.

I then remembered the note that Tay left in the table when he cooked our breakfast. I opened my phone and started typing.

“Are you okay?”


	9. Safe Sky

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

OHHH PAAAAK! THREE UPDATES IN ONE WEEK. HAHAHAHAHA

It's just that I have so many time right now. So, If I have the drive to write, I'll write. I went hiatus before because I started doing reaction videos on YT but now, everything has changed. I am slowly going back to my old form in writing. 

PS: If you're curious about my reaction videos, you can check it on YT just search my username. It is called REACTshow and I do reaction videos on some BL dramas. 

Anyways, xoxo lovelots and muwah!

Enjoy~

CHAPTER 8

6 DAYS EARLIER...

"Do you have plans later? Leo and his friends are planning to do karaoke night. Want to come with me?"

"Leo? Why? What's the occasion?" Mild and I are eating the breakfast that Tay cooked.

"Well, he got dumped again. I mean are we even surprised. He's like hitting the girls who has complicated relationship history. At this rate he should just focus on his business." I am wondering what happened between her and Leo. If I remembered it correctly, Leo tried to date Mild one year after her break up with Joss. I guess it didn't work and they decided to remain friends.

"I don't know. I think I'll just stay here. I'm not in the mood to go outside and socialize."

"What are you going to do here all day? Sleep?"

"I'll clean the house, wash my laundry and probably yeah, sleep." I affirmed.

"Alright. Just text me if you changed your mind. Okay?" I nodded.

Minutes later, she bid farewell to me because her cab is already outside. She told me that she'll have a meeting with her groupmates for their project.

When she left, I then started picking up the plates and placed everything in the sink. Before he left, Tay washed everything that he used for cooking. As I lifted the last plate, I saw a note. I picked it up and it is from Tay.

"I hope you enjoy the meal. I asked Mild not to wake you up because I saw you're in deep sleep. PS: This is your new friend's LINE ID. Add me."

I then picked up my phone and added him on LINE. I was about to go back to washing the dishes when suddenly a notification popped up.

It's Tay.

"Thanks for breakfast."

[It's nothing. How's your sleep?]

"It's good. I guess my body shut down after having a long day."

[Yeah, I saw it.] Then he sent me a picture of me sleeping like a kid with my lips pressed.

"What the hell? I thought you lost your phone?"

[Mild took the picture, not me. Besides, I have work phone. The one that I lost is my personal phone.] He sent an emoji of crying bear.

"You kinda deserve it." I sent a sticker of a bear showing its tongue.

[You are mean. I have important things on that phone.] He followed it with a sticker of sulking bear.

"If something is important to you, you should take good care of it and don't let other people steal it."

[Sometimes, I can be possessive with my friends. With us being friends now, I'll not allow anyone steal you away from me.]

My mind literally went blank when I read what he said. It seems like I cannot even move my fingers so I can type down my reply. What is he saying?

"You're funny. Why don't you try being a singer?"

[I mean I can sing. Not that good, but I can hit some notes.] Then he sent a sticker of a bear with microphone and is singing.

"I guess with the help of auto tune."

[Are you really that mean?]

"It depends on my mood. I could be mean as a person but I'm caring."

[Just like how you took care of me?] A bear sticker with hearts on its eyes follow through.

"Just like what I told your earlier, I don't want to feel guilty in case something happened to you. That's that."

[How come that you can see my lifeline though? You told me that your ability only works with people who close to you.] Which is true. [Does that include the person you like? You like me?]

I almost threw my phone on the table. What is he acting like this all of a sudden? What is he saying?

"You're quite assuming huh. Who do you think you..." well he's not wrong though. And I don't know why I like him in the first place. Ugggggh! This is Mild's fault. Erase.

"My personal feelings has no direct correlation with my ability..." no that's not true. My grandmother told me that it will only work if the person has a huge impact to my life. If they have a special place to my heart. Erase.

"You wish. I'll be going then. I have so many things to do."

After I hit the sent button, I turned off the notification button on my LINE application because I don't want to see his message popping up my notification screen.

When I finished washing everything, I just ignored my phone and start doing the laundry. I placed my used clothes in the washer one by one. Then I saw the shirt that Tay wore last Wednesday.

"Would he like me back though?" I asked myself. "Arrrghhh. Shut it, Newwiee. You are literally out of his league. He is just teasing you." Then I remembered his interview where he said that he is waiting for someone. "Yes, just act it cool and don't let him know about it or he'll tease you to death. He's already waiting for someone, so you can use that as a motivation to forget about your feelings for him. Okay?"

I looked into the mirror and took a deep breath.

It took me almost three hours to clean my apartment. I literally moved every furniture and cleaned them. I can't remember the last time I deep cleaned my room like this. I already hanged my clothes in the rooftop where we can let our clothes dry. The timing is right because it is sunny right now.

After I finished cleaning the whole apartment, I sat on the sofa and relaxed for a bit.

As I watched the television, I noticed that it is almost five in the afternoon. I went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. Well, I guess there's nothing left from my stocks. It's time to go out for grocery shopping and restock my food supplies.

I went to the comfort room to take a bath. The water is so cold and it feels so good running towards my whole body. After I took a bath, I went to my closet and looked for an outfit. I guess a white shirt and pants is okay. I rarely wear shorts because I'll get cold when it is raining and if it is sunny like today, I don't want to get sunburned.

While tying my shoes, I heard someone knocking on the door. I looked around to see if Mild forgot something. Opening the door, a delivery guy welcomed me.

"Mr. Thitipoom?"

"Yes,"

"Here's your food sir." He then gave me two plastic bags with food.

"But I didn't place an order sir." I told him while going through the content of the plastic bags.

"If that's the case sir, then someone probably ordered it for you. I'll be going then. Thank you, and enjoy your food." He smiled and left without hesitation.

I am left here looking at the plastic bags in confusion. Who sent this?

As I close the door, the first thing that went into my mind is Tay. Is he the one who ordered this? I opened my LINE and there are three messages from him.

[Hey, I was just teasing you.] sticker of a bear pouting its lips.

[BTW, I think I used everything in the fridge earlier when Mild shown up. I cooked for us three.]

[I'll be sending someone there so that you can have a dinner. You can't cook yet because of your finger so just wait for it, okay?]

Why is he doing this? This is insane.

I took a photo of the plastic bags and sent it to Tay.

"You don't have to because I'll be going out anyway. But I appreciate it. Thanks." Smiling bear sticker.

I then opened the containers and it is like a bento box but vegetables and protein food. I then saw the note again on the table and picked it up. I noticed that something is written at the back. Probably he wrote it there because there's not enough space.

"It feels nice that someone is genuinely worried about me, can you do it more often?"

Then he sent another message. [Enjoy your food.] smiling bear sticker.

"Okay, I will." I said to myself.

SATURDAY EVENING

Tay said that he is okay. He posted a photo on Instagram with the leading lady for two years. The episode ended with him dying after three months. The marriage did not push through and Amira spent her time with Mark.

They fought cancer together and ultimately, Mark lost the battle.

For a very emotional episode, we are literally confused right now. Mild is posting on her stan account which she is using when she has something to say that is related to Tay. If you are not familiar with twitter world, there are accounts called stan accounts. These accounts are created to support a certain artist.

She is tweeting her opinion about tonight's episode and it only took seconds before her post got over one thousand plus likes.

Her original account which is in private has around two thousand followers but her stan account has over fifty-five thousand making her the most followed stan accounts in twitter.

I am just browsing my timeline when I saw some tweets from MGM artist commenting about what happened and just like us, they are also not buying it. One of the tweets came from P'Jennie.

[That was an unexpected turned of events. I didn't even *clock that Mark has a condition. It's like they decided about it without thinking about the flow of the story. 555555 #TogetherInParadise2EP13]

*clock is like the gay term for noticed

The said tweet gained over five thousand likes and almost one thousand replies. Then one of the replies came from Tay.

[Surprise! 55555] it gained 530 replies, 2503 retweets and 7,829 likes.

Clicking the hashtag, I then saw a tweet that says something about Tay. It has 2,619 replies, 308 retweets and 169 likes.

[If only the acting was great, he could have retained his role for next season. 5555+ #TogetherInParadise2EP13]

The one who tweeted that post is being shady because even though it is not stated clearly, he is talking about Tay. When I go through the profile, I then noticed what is written on his bio. He works at the production team that handled Tay's series as assistant director. The production that was chopped off.

When the engagements from Tay's fans are coming through, he then tweeted a series of tweets explaining what he said.

[Don't you come for me okay? You don't know what happens behind the camera. We literally needed to shoot some scenes ten times because your idol kept on messing up his lines. 555555+]

[He is just handsome and you are blinded by his looks. His acting, it's meh.]

[I am not bitter because our team got fired, it's their lost. We already have the script for next season and we could easily delete this now because the script is not included in the contract.]

And when the fans started calling him out and criticize his nonsense opinions, he tweeted this before going private. [Good night *yawning emoji*]

I decided to tweet something in reply to his tweet. I also tagged him since he can see my tweets because I am not in private mode.

[If you're having problems with his acting, then you should have done more takes until you felt that the emotions needed was given. That's why you have acting coach on stand-by. That's why assistant directors are there because not everything can be seen by the director. 1/? @mantrepsk]

[The actor is paid to do his job and if you felt that he is not delivering, you should have told him and do more takes. That's your responsibility as an assistant director 2/? @mantrepsk]

[What we see reflects on the whole production team. You being salty here and criticizing your actor's acting when it could have been prevented in the first place speaks a lot about you and your company. 3/? @mantrepsk]

[Just because you already pocketed the money you got from the sponsors, ur going to trash talk the main reason why the series became hit? I hope you do reflect well on your tweets and see why people are calling you out. Ur working as a professional, act like one. 4/? @mantrepsk]

[I personally can say that there are instances that the acting could be improved, but he is not just a handsome faced guy. There's more than that. He can connect to his partner and built a good chemistry with Amira. 5/? @mantrepsk]

[Shoot ten times yet the outcome is like that? Poor directing and editing. If Tay's not going reprise his role the next season, you could have just ended it like moving with Amira in the states or something. Your scriptwriter and I should talk sometimes. 5/? @mantrepsk]

[I hope that the next entertainment company that will hire your team double think their decision because if I were they, I would never work with someone who has this kind of attitude with my talents. So unprofessional 6/6 @mantrepsk]

And just like that, I composed six tweets addressing that assistant director and his shady tweets. Mild then poked me.

"Are you for real?" it seems like she is in shock.

"Why?" I asked her.

"Your tweets are being retweeted by some MGM actors. Take a look at your notifications."

I did what she asked and saw my notifications. My tweets are doing number. I am shocked because I didn't used the hashtag, yet the numbers are increasing every time. People starts retweeting and replying to my tweets.

Just like what Mild said, some actors from MGM are retweeting my tweet and some of them quoted it, agreeing with everything I said.

"I didn't even used the hashtag. What is happening?" I asked Mild.

"Tay retweeted your tweet."

"HAAAAAAAA? How come when he doesn't even know my twitter account?"

"Someone retweeted your tweet and maybe he saw that it came from you so he retweeted it too." Well, that makes sense.

As I check my notification, I saw something that really caught my attention.

[@Tawan_Tay followed you.]

"Mild, Tay followed me on Twitter." She then looked at my phone and when we clicked the account, it is legit from Tay. I only have like around five hundred followers including Mild and Jumpol, now Tay is added on the list. "What should I do? Do I need to private my account?"

"I don't know. You responded to that bastard's tweet, it's your decision. You can delete it but for sure screenshots are already taken." She is giggling because of my impulsive tweeting.

I then clicked the follow button on Tay's profile and we became mutual.

Because my phone is starting to glitch, I decided to mute the tweets so that I won't receive notifications about it.

I suddenly regret the decision of defending Tay. I never thought that it will escalate like this. The worst part? He will probably tease me again because of it.

"Have I ever told you that Tay went to Chulakorn too?"

"No, but he mentioned it when we had a conversation. Why?"

"Well, he will be guesting tomorrow on School Troopers and they visited Chulakorn University this week." She gave her phone to me and she is right. Tay will be guesting on School Troopers, a program where the hosts and their special guest will go every school, academy and university around Thailand. Davikah is with him, she played Amira in Together in Paradise.

"Davikah is so gorgeous," the only thing that I said.

"And a great actress too." I second to that.

In our group chat, Jumpol then started spamming me messages, teasing me. He said that I was being too protective of Tay to the point that I defended his acting. He also mentioned that it is not so me because the New that he knew would never do that.

If the old New is on the phone right now, I might even support his claims and bash Tay privately.

But I realized that just because I have experience and idea of what acting should be done, I should never belittle someone's effort. At the end of the day, he delivered. Just like what I mentioned in my tweets, it is also on the production staff because they literally have the last word with regards on their actor's output. It only proves that they are not pushing Tay to the capabilities that he has. I should know it because I saw more emotions on Tay when I talked to him than I saw in 32 episodes of Together in Paradise franchise.

I checked my twitter and the numbers are still increasing. As of the moment, it already garnered a total of 2,407 replies, 15,263 retweets and whooping 31,062 favorites.

I then noticed a quote tweet; it is from @hello_cutienina. [He literally said everything on my mind.] I became curious about who she is because the engagement on tweet is also doing numbers. Apparently, she is Tay's supporter too and her followers are around six thousand.

I was browsing her timeline and this tweet captured my attention.

[Tay followed him? He never followed a fan before.]

[@tayteh2018: I know right? The strange thing is that the fan is not following Tay on twitter.]

[@ttawanv: Wait are we even sure that he is a fan? Maybe he just aired his opinion because that assistant director is throwing some shade on Tay.]

[@hello_cutienina replied to @tayteh2018 and @ttawanv: One thing is for sure, he never followed his fans even stan accounts. With the exception of Khun Mild.]

[@ttawanv replied to @hello_cutienina and tayteh2018: Maybe he knows who that New is. Shall we call our private investigator? Tagging @/e]

"Are they for real?" I asked Mild.

"Why?"

"Look at this thread. They are hiring private investigator to know my connection with Tay. Are they going to send someone to look for me?" I am genuinely scared of Tay's fans.

She then poked my head. "Stupid, don't take it literally. They are harmless. They are going to do it on their own. They'll just try to connect the dots between you and Tay. You know, they are curious about your relationship with him."

"Shouldn't I be worried right now?"

"Don't be and trust me. Tay's fans like that will do no harm to you. Big accounts like them are responsible enough and they know their limits," she tapped my shoulders.

If she says so. But to make sure, I just turn my account into private mode because I gained like two thousand followers since I tweeted that thread.

"I just went on private mode on Twitter just in case. I have so many dumb moments before and I don't want them to dig in to that."

"Like when you are frustrated with Tay and Amira's first kiss?"

"That was like one year ago when I tweeted that." I don't really post anything on my social media because I know how internet works. But that one time, I literally went nuts on their first kiss. It was so unexpected and it is not the kiss that I expected. It's like an accident peck but whatever.

I am picking up my things because it is almost bed time when I heard my phone notification. It's from Tay and he sent me a message on LINE.

[You really went beast mode on that one.]

"He's so unprofessional, I just called him out. I didn't expect that you'll see it and it retweet it."

[You went private on twitter?]

"You're stalking my twitter?"

[Well, I haven't received any notifications yet about you following me back.] he sent a sticker of a bear looking on its watch.

I opened my twitter and searched for Tay's twitter account. I followed him back.

"Satisfied?"

[Very much. Are you going to sleep?]

"Why do you care?"

[I just want to say good night.] a sticker of that freaking bear with eye mask on and snoring.

"Good night."

And then I closed my phone.

After thirty minutes of waiting time for Mild to finish her skin care routine, it is almost time for us to sleep. Mild and I don't mind sleeping next to each other because we are that close. It is my habit before going to sleep to check my Instagram feed because seeing stories and posts makes me sleepy.

I am checking my notification list and I saw Tay's follow request.

I went to his profile and saw the sudden growth on his followers. It's like last week he has only one million followers, now he hit two million. I clicked his profile picture and it displayed his Instagram stories for the whole day.

He has three stories for the whole day. The first one is the picture of him holding the bouquet of flowers. The second post is the congratulatory post of MGM to Tay for hitting two million followers. The last story he posted is thirty minutes ago. It is a picture of clear sky and the moon. It has a text on it my safe sky and emoji of a bear.

My heart started beating so fast because things are going inside my mind right now. Before it is too late, I shut my phone down and went to sleep.

It's Sunday morning and my agenda for today is basically going to MGM again because of a special project from Tay's fans. They are sending food truck and just like the old times, Mild will be in charge. After that, I have to meet Kao for lunch today. He got a call back three days ago from the producers of Tay's drama saying that he passed the second screening. I am meeting him here in MGM before deciding where to eat.

I am waiting outside MGM's office because I cannot enter without Mild. She is basically my pass.

"Nong New, why are you waiting here?" the guard asked me.

"I don't have my pass. She is busy with the food truck arranged by Tay's fans." I giggled.

"You've been here numerous times. Go inside and wait there." He offered and gave me a smile.

"Are you sure, Phi?"

"Why not? You're already known here. Don't worry, I got your back."

"Oh okay. Thank you, Phi."

I smiled at him and went inside MGM's office. It feels weird walking here all by myself because I am used to walking behind Mild. I went to the lounge and waited for Kao there. I don't know if he is here or in the studio.

Thank heavens there is a television here inside the office so I can watch something. Then the intro for School Troopers flashed and I guess it is just about to start.

Just like what Mild said, Tay and Davikah are the special guest for today's episode. Even though Davikah is just wearing the white shirt with School Troopers logo on it, she can still convince me to buy that because she is literally selling the outfit.

Not just an incredible actress, but a great model too.

"P'New," I heard Kao's voice.

"Oohh Kao. You're finished already?" He is wearing black t-shirt and a jacket paired with jeans.

"Yes, Phi. Sadly, I didn't get the role." His voice turned gloomy.

"That's okay. There are other opportunities to come. You have a so much potential. Don't lose hope okay?"

He smiled and nodded, "I will Phi."

"Lunch's on me. Deal?"

"Deal."

"Alright," I was about to walk when I felt my phone vibrated.

Mild is asking me if I will join him and Jumpol for dinner later because Off will be cooking for us. I told her that I will be. I told her that I will just go out with Kao and treat him for lunch. She then replied that she'll be in the office lounge after her project and will wait for me there.

I was replying on Mild when I heard the conversation of Tay and Leo on the screen.

"Why did you decide on pursuing acting?"

"I pursued acting because of a very special person. When I saw that person audition for a theatre production here in Chulakorn, I thought he is great. I became his fan. I told myself that I will audition the following year so that I can work with him and be his mentee because he is that good. Too bad that he didn't auditioned the following year. Then the rest is history."

I then suddenly felt some butterflies in my stomach. I don't know if this is because of hunger or because of what he just said.

"That person is so special that I'll never be here right now without him."

He is looking at the camera like he is telling a tale of his life.

"How special is that person?" Nicky, one of the hosts is now teasing Tay. Actually, all of them.

"Very special. He's like my safe sky."


	10. Hin

**Author's Note: I'm so sorry for the delay of this chapter. My mind literally went blank for almost one week. Also, thank you for the comments specially Newwiechan because I managed to pinpoint some inconsistencies on my writing.** **But enough of that, hope y'all like this short update.**

**xoxo**

**CHAPTER 9**

Kao and I are having lunch in Siam Paragon but my consciousness is still in MGM building after hearing what Tay said in the interview. I am trying my best to be attentive with what Kao is saying but everything is just entering on my one ear exiting on the other one.

He mentioned that if he will not be accepted for the final look test, Wabi Sabi Studio will be his next destination. He's going to try his luck there since they are also holding an audition and looking for talents.

I don't want to assume things because he didn't mention the name of that person but I can clearly remember what he told me before about seeing my audition for that theatre production.

Well, there are at least thirteen auditionees that time. New, don't fool yourself. Unless he specifically mentioned your name, right now you are just being delusional.

"You're shooting for a mock up trailer tomorrow? That's cool Phi. Imagine, if they like your chemistry with the lead casts, then you can end up getting the role."

"Yeah, it's cool to hear but I am not really interested on pushing through with the project. Also, it's a minor role so probably changes will be made." I immediately replied back, insinuation my disinterest to the possibility of me accepting the role just in case.

"I am just thankful that opportunities are everywhere. There are many production companies who's as early as now are already casting for a project that will air two years from now. I guess they are predicting that BL series will become hit years from now."

"It is not impossible because it will be a breath of fresh air to see more series in that genre instead of the typical lakorn dramas. Also, after the success of My Gear, MGM probably learned that it will be the start of a new era for them. Sadly, the leads on that drama drifted away from each other because of the fans."

When MGM found their success in My Gear, a bl series about engineering students and their journey in finding love despite their indifference, the support for the actors really overflowed. Sadly, one of the actors that time is in a relationship with a girl and the other one is well being shipped to his co-actor.

The fans went nuts when the news of the actor dating a girl. The internet went crazy that the girl went private on all of her social media accounts. They are giving the poor lady threats to the point that she flew to America just to find security and peace.

Because of what happened, the guy decided not to renew the contract for his management and left MGM for good and went to America to start a new life with his girlfriend. MGM planned to release a second season for My Gear but they cancelled it because of the fiasco.

It's been two years and I just hope that fans are more matured to know to separate the actor's personal life and work. They cannot put pressure on their idol's life behind the camera, connecting the dots here and there.

"Don't you think it is quite difficult if you fell in love with your co-actor?" I asked Kao out of nowhere.

"In the industry of bl it is because fans are wild. They only saw their idols having lunch somewhere outside Bangkok, conspiracy theories will emerge one by one. They can pinpoint things and give it a twist even though their idols are just having a normal day together. Having an escape after their busy schedules for the week." He replied while cutting the steak that he ordered.

"I mean co-actors can have a normal lunch together, right?"

"Yeah. Or it depends on the management if they want to use the opportunity as a fan service or whatsoever. I have some friends from the industry who after finishing a project together, they are instructed to be together like twice a week. Hang out anywhere where fans will see them just to make sure that their ship will remain sailing and relevant."

They started having some unplanned moments together as per Mild which eventually fans misinterpret as them dating. At first, they are very supportive with them going out of town even flying to another country to shoot an episode for their tour show. The last tour show that they shot outside the jurisdiction of Thailand was in Korea.

That also marks the day when the netizen found out about Lee's intimate relationship with a woman.

"They said that the bl drama that MGM will release next year will pay homage to My Gear. Same theme with a different plot," Kao discussed.

"Yep. Mild told me one time that MGM already planned the sequel for My Gear after its success. Now that My Gear is cancelled, they are going to use the plot of its Season 2 to My SOTUS." After consuming my last bite for the steak, I asked Kao. "How's the food?"

"It is tastier because it is free," he then giggled like a child. "Next time Phi, it's going to be my treat."

"Sure, just tell me where and when," I smiled.

After our lunch, he said that he'll meet his manager in a coffee shop within the area. I bid farewell to him and walk my way back to the parking lot. Mild then texted me and asked me if I want to join in the farewell party slash viewing party with the cast of Together in Paradise later this evening.

I told her that I can't since the shooting tomorrow will start at six in the morning. She is a party animal so she could stay up until three in the morning and wake up three hours later like nothing happened.

When I went back to MGM building, Jumpol then welcomed me carrying a load of papers. "Here's your script for tomorrow."

"Really?" I replied with excitement. I thought I will have it by tomorrow morning.

"Don't worry, this is just a mock up trailer so you can mess up your lines numerous times. The director is kind and not terror don't worry," he assured me.

"I think I'll stay up all night highlighting my lines and memorizing it."

"I haven't given Mild her copy yet since she is attending the viewing party later. She might put the script somewhere and leak some information. I don't trust her when she is drunk," he joked. We are walking outside the office while I am scanning the papers one by one. 

"Sounds like a set up for me," I know he wants me to go all in with my delivery tomorrow so I can star with him in the series and won't undergo the audition process. "If I do that, they might give your character to me," I teased.

"I mean if you will play my partner, I wouldn't mind either." With his tone, I know already what he is about to do. I looked at him and his face is moving towards mine, trying to give me a smack kiss on the cheeks.

"P'Off!" I laughingly scolded him.

His cheerful smile that I haven't seen for a long time came back. "Wow, I never heard you call me P'Off for quite some time now. I'm just teasing you."

"Aheeem.."

We turned our backs and saw Tay looking at us. His face is quite disturbed or something.

"Taaaaay... Are you going to the party later?" Jumpol suddenly wrapped his arms to Tay's shoulders.

"I have no other choice but to go there because it will be my last time hanging out with them." He answered. He then focused his attention to me and the stack of papers that I am holding. "Is that a script?"

"Yep, Jumpol asked me to do extra tomorrow for the mock up trailer of his drama."

He then shifted his attention to the man beside him, "I guess you're really that close with him? You are letting him call you Jumpol. He's also willing to go back to acting for you." What's with the grim undertone on his voice?

"I mean our age gap is only two years. Also, what's with your tone? Ayeeeee, is Tay Tawan jealous?"

My eyes suddenly widened. What is that supposed to mean? Tay is not answering his question.

Why am I waiting for his answer?

And why am I nervous with what he is about to say?

"I am," he straightforwardly replied.

"Huh?" I exclaimed.

"He already has a script while my own series' fate is still unknown." He then followed up. "So, yeah I am quite jealous with that," he back paddled.

"Ohhhhhh okay," Jumpol wheezed.

Jumpol mentioned that today will also be the day that he'll meet his partner for the drama. So, we are waiting here in the office of P'backaof, the director of the series. We had some conversation earlier and now he is out to fetch Jumpol's on screen partner.

"Tell me honestly, who are you rooting for to be your partner?" I asked him.

"I really want to be partnered with Gun because we all know how good and talented, he is."

"But there's a chance that he can overshadowed his partner. You can give him a normal dialogue but his technique and approach in acting will literally give flavor to it. Are you ready for that?"

"I wouldn't pray for him if I am not. I am really hoping that he'll be picked because I want to be challenged."

"The last time your prayed is when you confessed your feelings to Prae," I replied.

Moments later, the door opened and my eyes automatically locked in to the person following P'backaof. I can see the genuine happiness with Jumpol when Gun Atthaphan walked inside the room. I guess for someone like him who is playful and quirky, praying does really work because he rarely does that kind of thing.

I left the office first to give the moment to Jumpol.

As I close the door, I saw Tay standing while leaning on the wall.

"Where are you going?"

"It's their moment. It's kinda awkward too if I'll stay there like a third wheel or something." I replied to him. "You, what are you doing here? You have a meeting?"

"No, I was waiting for you."

"Waiting for me? Why?"

"Did you watch School Troopers earlier?"

I sighed, "briefly. I went out with my junior for a lunch." And the loudest silence occurred in our conversation. Even though the clicking of the keyboards from the staff can't interrupt the awkwardness of our situation. Solely based on the reason that none of us wants to continue this _walk of shame_ that we are in right now, I decided to ask him a question. "You mentioned a person earlier who inspired you to do acting, is that our senior?"

Of course, I don't want to make it too obvious that I am fishing for his reply.

He looked me in the eyes like he is about to say something. My right ear is waiting for his voice to echoed the answer and I am hoping to hear something that will affirm my delusion.

Tay took a deep breath and sighed, "I was actually talking about you." Then out of nowhere, I felt my heart starts beating faster. He caught me looking at him which it seems like he felt uneasy about it. "They gave us a script though for the banters with P'Nicky and P'Leo."

I don't know why but instead of feeling relieved, I felt disappointment.

"Oh okay." I faked a smile and opened the door so we can walk out of the office.

It seems like the spirit of awkwardness is roaming around the area where we are waiting for the elevator. I am just browsing on my phone to avoid eye contact with him. When the elevator rang, people started coming out one by one. The staff are focused on him and greets him as they walk their way out.

I entered the elevator and Tay is just standing there. He looks like he is troubled or something. I didn't have to press the button for the doors to close because the bell automatically rang itself signaling that it will close in a few moments.

When doors are finally sealed, I was waiting for the lift to go down but suddenly I heard the doors ringing once again. I haven't pressed any button so the doors automatically opened. I looked at Tay, his expression is very much different from what I saw moments ago. It seems like he is about to say something.

"I meant it when I said that you're my safe sky."

I have three seconds to say anything before the door closes. When the bell rang, Tay pressed the open button.

"Like the sky, I know you're always there even though we haven't seen each other for quite some time." He pressed again the button.

"For years, when the sun rises every morning, it is a reminder for me that I have a new day to live for. A chance given to me to wait for you." The ring sound echoes again.

"And when the sun sets every afternoon, it is a reminder for me to not lose hope. That there will be another day to look out for. I knew that this day would come. That we will meet again. I just want you to know that I am still waiting for you."

For the third time, he pressed the open button.

"Because New, you are my safe sky. I will wait for you, just like what you told me before."

And the doors finally closed.

_I will wait for you, just like what you told me before?_ What does that even mean?

There are so many things going on in my mind. Mild told me that she is waiting for me in the coffee shop outside MGM office.

She told me that Mek and Mook will send her off after the party. Since I am not planning on joining her at the party, I guess I will just have to go home.

"Jumpol already gave me my script," I told her as I laid the pile of papers on the desk.

Her eyes suddenly widened. "Oh my. I haven't had something like this for quite some time now. Who will be Off's partner though? Did they already announce it on the internet?"

"I think they haven't made an announcement about it yet. I guess they want Jumpol to be the first one to know about it. And luckily, I was with him when P'backaof introduced his partner."

She then moved her head towards mine, "who is it? Tell me."

I looked around us to make sure that no one can hear the name that I am about to say. "It's Gun Atthaphan."

She then exhaled a long gasp. "Oh my, really?" But then she realized something, "but what about Tay? Is he have an idea about it?"

When she mentioned Tay, I remembered again what happened earlier at the elevator. I then snapped back and just nodded. "Yeah, he probably saw Gun entered the office because he is outside when I walked out," I answered.

"Wait, what's with that tone? What happened?"

Before I answered, I tried to construct the proper words to explain what I am thinking right now. But I ended up telling her what's going on in full details.

"Tay is making me crazy. Like in a bad way. I think he started growing on my system without my knowledge, which may explain why I can see his lifeline. Then when I saved him that day, it seems like everything exploded," I sighed. "We text each other every day, I am feeling some things that I never felt before but also at the same time, I am scared because I might be making things up on my mind. Maybe he is just being genuine thankful for what I did and I am just giving false interpretation to it."

She is really listening to every word I am saying.

"Not until today. He said some things that I thought I can only hear on television series. Tay Tawan, the nation's boyfriend, he told me earlier that I am his safe sky. A reminder to not lose hope or whatever. He said that he's patiently waiting for me all these years which I have no idea what he is even talking about. I don't remember interacting with him at all before."

"Are you sure about that? That you and Tay never had some secret rendezvous before?" I thought she will tease me but I was wrong.

"I cannot recall any interactions that we had during in college at all. I don't even know that we were schoolmates until two weeks ago. Is he playing games on me because I became too obvious? That I am starting to fall for him?"

She smirked, "Wow. New Thitipoom. I never thought that I will hear those words from you. I guess Tay is really an exception because he made my best friend shaken." She then held my hands. "Don't worry, I know Tay. Well, I mean we're not really that close but yeah, based on how Off described him, he is not that kind of guy."

I am just finishing my chocolate mousse cake when Mild received a message.

"Wait what?!" She exclaimed. Everyone from the coffee shop looked at our direction.

"Why? what happened?"

"Joss is back in Thailand and he is going to replace Tay in Together in Paradise season 3?" I felt a bucket of ice water splashed all over my body. I totally forgot to tell her about Joss' return and his agenda here in Thailand.

Because I am guilty of not telling her about it, I decided to just drink my way out of the possible conversation. I am just looking at the counter section avoiding an eye contact with her.

"Hey. Do you know something about this?"

"Huh? With what?" I asked her like I don't know anything.

"Why are you not acting surprised?" she raised her left eyebrow. "You know something about this do you?"

There is no point of lying, so I just consumed the drink first before telling her the truth. "I may or may not encountered Joss last week and I totally forgot to tell you about it." Her eyes sharpen. "Okay, I deliberately planned not to tell you because I thought he will talk to you. But based on your reaction, I guess you still have no idea that he is back."

"Why would he talk to me huh? And you really thought that I will talk to him?"

"I mean remember what you promised to each other before? That if both of you are still single two years later, then you two might get back together?"

"New, that's already in the past. I'm crazy enough to create that promise with him because I am stupid okay? He probably forgot about it." She then continued browsing on her phone. I opened my twitter to see what is going on and I saw on the trend list the hashtags #AmiraMarkForever #JusticeForTay #Joss

There are some tweets circulating online that Joss accepted the role for the new love interest of Amira for the third installment of Together in Paradise. I am just lurking on my timeline trying to see how to audiences specially the fans of Tay received the news.

They are not happy at all.

I cannot blame them though. Everything went full 180 degrees in a span of one episode. They literally decided to kill Tay's character without even a hint of it throughout the whole season.

Some netizens started to call out MGM about the cancelation of TIP3. They also expressed their disinterest with the program in case it will be pushed through.

They are planning on boycotting the series.

If there are supporters, there are also some haters. Some people tweet that what happened to Tay's character is well-deserved since he is giving nothing but bland characterization since Season 1.

I don't necessarily agree with what they said because again, the director or at least assistant director has the final call about how their actors are performing. If Tay failed to embodied the character and showed the emotions needed, then they are also partially responsible for the mess.

And aside from that, the writing of Season 2 is already a mess since the trailer was released months ago.

Mild told me that she will go to the office to get her copy of the script to Jumpol. I then decided to just go home since I don't have any chauffer duties today.

When I reached the parking area, I opened my car lights to see if I forgot something. Then I realized that my laptop is not in the car. I left it at Mild's.

I was about to start my engine when my phone rang. When I looked at the screen, it is Tay who's calling.

"Hello? Tay?"

"Can you drive me somewhere?"

"Huh? Drive you somewhere?" Then someone opened the front door and hop in to my car. It is Tay. I didn't even manage to say my approval. "Please?"

"What about the viewing party later this evening? You're not going to attend?"

"I'm changing my plans. I just want to avoid the press."

I started the engine. "So, you saw your name trended again on twitter?"

"P'Mark cannot pick me up today because he is out of town for two days." He smiled faintly.

"Here we go again. Where do you want me to drive you?"

"Let's go to Chon Buri, Hin."

I literally froze at that point when I heard that name again after so many years. For a brief moment, I tried to recall what he said. Did I hear it correctly?

I looked at him in disbelief because he is the first one to call me by that name since my grandfather died. He is the only one who calls me that name.

"W-What did you just said?"


	11. Because It's You

Author's Note: This is the song that I featured in this chapter. I wrote an English version of this song months ago for my first BL novel and yeah, I decided to use it here because this chapter is special. 

xoxo :*

CHAPTER 10

17 YEARS AGO

"New, why are you sitting there alone darling?" My grandmother asked me. It's my birthday party but I don't like the idea of them inviting other people without my approval.

Whose birthday are we even celebrating? Mine or theirs?

I can only recognize handful of people and they are my uncles and aunties.

Their kids? I don't know them.

I can't fully enjoy the moment because my friends from school cannot attend the birthday party due to the number of guests allowed in this venue. They turned my supposed party into a investment or charity event whatsoever to gain some new investors.

New Thitipoom's birthday party x Charity Event.

"Newwiee, why don't you hang out with your friends?" My grandmother asked. My parents? They are there talking to the investors while ignoring their own child here sitting alone.

"Grandma, I don't know anyone here aside from my aunts and uncles. I didn't even know that I have cousins until now. This was supposed to be my birthday party, not theirs." Talking about my parents.

"New, your parents will visit school on Monday, right? They will bring food for you and your classmates and teacher. You can celebrate and play with them as well," grandpa explained to me.

"I know that. But today's my birthday and not on Monday. I want to share this moment with you guys," I gave a glare on some of the guests who's pretending like they are noble even though they are really sneaky when it comes to buying shares or something. "Not with these monkeys."

My family dealt with backstabbing incident before. Some of my Dad's share literally almost got stolen because he trusted the wrong persons. Thankfully, our family lawyer is the best.

"Hey Newwiee, don't say that. I know you are mad but please, keep your manners okay? That's bad." My grandma told me.

I gave her my puppy eyes. I went overboard on that part. "I'm sorry."

"Hin, don't isolate yourself there. Go somewhere or eat food," my grandpa instructed me.

"Hin? Stone? Really, grandpa?"

He chuckled. "I've been observing you for quite some time now and you look like a stone there. Not moving a bit. You're just side eyeing and giving everyone a fierce look."

"That's a good one, love. We have a new nickname for New." And both of them laughed.

"Thankfully, I asked the photographer to take a picture of you. You'll see what I am talking about tomorrow." He giggled before patting my head and held my hand.

"I know you are not comfortable with them so just come with us and let's enjoy the food. Instead of sitting there, we'll enjoy the catering services," and we walk ourselves to the food corner. Thank heaven's my favorite food is here.

Chocolates.

There are chocolate flavored cakes, fondue and even fountain.

I guess I can distract myself from irritation with these.

Hin, that's a weird nickname but I guess I have to bear with that for quite sometime now because for sure my grandparents will not stop picking on me with that brand new name.

MGM BUILDING PARKING AREA

"What did you just say?"

"Let's go to Chon Buri, then." He said in clarity. I am just looking at him because I really thought I heard him said Hin. "Why? What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing. Why Chon Buri though?"

"I just want to go somewhere near yet I can see a clear beautiful sunset," he said in a lovely manner. "When things are not going on my way, I always look at the sky to remind me that better days are coming ahead." I am just driving our way out of the parking lot and just I suspected to happen, fans are starting to pile up outside MGM's lobby.

I am focusing my attention on the road but somehow I am eager to know if we know each other way back because of the confusion that my mind is dealing with.

"The thing that you mentioned earlier about waiting, what do you mean by that?" I asked but silence followed through. "Hey, Tay." I looked at him and he is actually sleeping. When I had the chance to ask him about it, it is when Tay is asleep.

Nice.

For a Sunday, the traffic now is not heavy as I expected. We may arrive at our destination before the sun sets.

Looking back, I still can't believe that I am casually seeing Tay like this. I mean Mild must put an act when she is in front of him because she doesn't want Tay to be uncomfortable if she will put her natural fan girl self when she is with Tay.

Also, she doesn't want to be teased whenever she is with him because everything that she does is really one hundred and one percent pure help to her co-fans. Nothing more and nothing less. She said once that she can't even see herself being with someone like Tay.

She thinks she can't handle the repercussion of dating an idol.

Or maybe she still has feelings for Joss because to be honest, their breakup is so weird. Like they genuinely care for each other's growth that they decided to part ways? If that isn't love, I don't know what that is.

Joss acknowledge that he is lacking of maturity so he needs to work on that one away from Mild because doesn't want to continuously hurt her from his stupid decisions.

Mild on the other hand wants to focus on her studies and admitted that she can't fulfil her duties as Joss' girlfriend that time. Which is why Joss hang out with some girls. She can't blame him though because she is the first one to drift away.

They broke up, Joss went overseas while Mild focused on her studies until she graduated with honors. Now, she taking her masters degree and sidelining as Tay's fans club president or whatever her job description is.

When we arrived at our destination, the sun is still not setting and I just parked it somewhere we can see it without going out. Knowing Tay, pictures of him might circulate online once he decided to go out on the beach.

I am just staring at the sunset, it is really indeed beautiful.

"Why is he waiting for me?" I asked myself while glancing at him. He is still sleeping peacefully not knowing that the thing that he eagers to see is already in front of him.

I don't know what went inside of my mind when I pulled out my phone and opened the camera application. I know that it is irrational to take someone's picture without their consent and also not advisable to do so, but I still took a picture of him.

He looks like a child while he is sleeping.

I can't help but to smile foolishly while staring at his picture. So, is this how fans imagine themselves spending a moment with Tay because if yes, I now understand why they are going crazy for this man.

I am not on that stage though. I don't know why but I am discovering more things about myself when I started involving myself with Tay.

My old self is probably cringing right now if he sees what I am doing with Tay at this very moment. He hates the idea of staying inside the car while having a moment. He hates the fact that someone is constantly sending messages to someone and asking if they already ate their breakfast, lunch or dinner. He hates the idea of someone can change a person's life in a snap because of the thing called love.

He might disown himself if he knew about what is happening to himself now.

It's like I am starring in my own drama series but the stakes are high because it is happening in real life with no script or anything. No director can shout the word cut or re-take.

That's why I am being careful because I already seen this situation before. It can literally destroy friendships or even acquaintances.

What are you doing Newwiee? If you know that you might be in trouble if you act your feelings, why are you still associating yourself to him? Why do you have to be confused like this? You know better than that. You should have just ended things that night. You should have just ignored his text messages and that note.

Why are you falling for Tay Tawan?

Moments later, Tay woke up from his sleep and yawn. I don't know what he is doing or if he recognizes the sunset in front of him. I am just focusing my attention at the sunset because it is undeniably stunning.

"When did we arrive?" He asked.

"Not so long ago," I answered him back smiling.

"Let's go to the beach." He is about to open the door when I stopped him.

"Are you crazy? People might see you here. They might know that you're sneaking out of the office." He then let go of the handle and moved his face towards mine.

"Well, are you scared?"

The way he asked that questions reminds me that night when he asked me what if I am on his position, will I be scared with the backlash or something. I told him that I am not because that time, I never thought the influence Tay has. Being with him is literally opening a pandora box which I don't want to happen.

Then I looked back at the sunset. Will I sacrifice my boring, quiet life just to see this beautiful scenery with Tay outside? I mean I am not going to do something illegal right? If Tay want to spend this moment with any person, then it is his call not his fans. Also, I already went private on my social media accounts so they cannot harass me whatsoever.

Screw the haters.

"I am not." I told in full eagerness, surrendering my peaceful life into Tay's hand.

Tay and I walked to the beach and sat in the sands of Chon Buri. It is truly magical and breathtaking. I haven't done this before and I am glad that I did.

"Do you always go here to see the sunset?" I asked him.

"Not really. This is my first time going here and watching an actual setting of the sun. I am thankful though that my unit is high enough that I can witness the same scenery, but with buildings on the background." He laughed.

"So, you are always looking forward for this to happen?" I looked at him and smiled.

He then nodded, "Yes."

"Is it worth it?" The sea is slowly devouring half of the sun and the sky starts turning into orange.

"It is. It really is," he said in low tone. I glanced back at him and he is looking at me directly, disregarding the scenery in front of us.

"How can you enjoy the view when you are looking at me? You're missing the best part of it." I asked him.

"Trust me, I am enjoying my view right now."

I don't know why but his words really struck my heart. We are just literally looking at each other but I can feel the tension is rising. That damn eyes are so captivating that I totally disregarded the farewell of the sun.

"W-Why are you doing this to me?" I asked him while looking away from him. "You're making me feel things. I know it sounds crazy but I don't want to assume things. I'm not suppose to tell you this but I want to settle thi-"

"Because I like you." The sun finally sets and the only thing that illuminates our surroundings is the orange sky above us and the street lights behind us.

"Why?" I asked in a low tone.

"Because it is you." He said in full sincerity.

I looked at him, "If this is about me saving you from that night, I don't want you to feel indebt to me. I just did that because I can't live with the guilt of me knowing what is bound to happen, didn't do anything at all."

"Is that really the only reason that you could think of?"

"Honestly, yes. You are freaking Tay Tawan Vihokratana. There are pretty girls out there or more attractive guys than me. Why me?" I don't really show my vulnerability side on other people easily but damn, Tay made me do it.

"Because they are not you. They can be brave, but not as brave as you. They can be honest, but not straightforward like you. They can say nice things, do random acts for me, but they will never flatter me the way you do. They can be my inspiration to do better, but you remind me every time why I strarted in the first place."

I don't know why but hearing those words made me teared up a little. I didn't expect to hear those words from him.

"I am not asking you to like me back instantly. I waited years for this moment to happen and I will never get tired of waiting for you because you mean a lot to me."

He then reached out his hand to me like he is asking me if I want to held his. For some reason, I did it without hesitation.

We stayed there for ten more minutes until everything went dark. When we went back to my car, I feel quite good now. At least I know that I am not being delusional about Tay liking me.

As we enter the car, I don't have the guts to say a word because I am contemplating what just happened.

"You're quiet. What's going on your mind?" He asked while I'm driving our way back to Bangkok.

"A lot. I just don't know how to process things."

"The last thing that I wanted is to make you feel uncomfortable. I hope nothing changes between us," he plead.

I gave him a smile and replied. "Don't worry, you're not making me uncomfortable. I guess I have to adjust the way I act when I'm around you because I don't really want to be a hindrance to your career. You went through a lot already and being a burden to you is not a good thing."

"So, you want to have a date with me secretly? Like sneaking out or stay in date in my place or yours?" And then he dropped the d-word. I never felt excited but at the same time scared like this before. Imagine, you dating a celebrity like Tay Tawan. It's like you're the chosen one among millions of his fans around the globe.

What a double edge sword privilege it is.

"I mean yeah why not?" Shit, Newwiee, what are you doing? You should be playing hard to get okay? Why are surrendering yourself like that to him?

"What if I don't want to?"

"W-What do you mean?" I asked him in confusion. We are stuck in traffic because it's almost seven in the evening.

"What if I don't want to hide you? The fact that I am dating you. Like go outside without fear of hiding. Flex you on my social media accounts. I mean I've been open about your existence before, it's just that they don't know who I am talking about." He suggested while looking at me as if he is looking directly to my soul.

"Are you insane? Do you want me to get killed by your fans? I have dreams to fulfil okay?"

"You said that you're not scared earlier." He teased.

"I am not scared to do baby steps. But to go all in like that, I don't know if I can handle all the attention that I can get for dating a celebrity like you." I told him worriedly.

He then pouted his lips as if he is thinking of something, "Do you want to do something fun?"

"What fun?" I asked curiously.

"I will post an Instagram story of you and I and see for yourself how people will react to it. Just a video clip of us let's say singing a song or something while we are stuck here in traffic. I'm just trying to prove a point." He suggested.

I mean a single video of us singing in the car would not hurt right? "Go for it." I told him in affirmation.

He then increased the volume of my speakers and a familiar song played. It is from the band Musketeers entitled ของขวัญ. I haven't heard of this song for quite some time now and I almost forgot how beautiful the melody of this song is.

When it's almost the chorus part, Tay opened the camera of his phone and took a video snapshot of the traffic in front of us. To be honest I am feeling nervous while he is taking his Instagram story. I am just singing with him and just focusing on what's in front of me. Avoiding any eye contact with the camera as much as possible.

From now on, there'll be always you and I

Moving on from the darkness of the past

You have me here by your side, just hold on, don't let go

I then realized that this song is like speaking to the both of us. What the hell? I think it is just pure coincidence but somehow, I am getting the chills. From some reason, when he panned the camera to my direction, I looked at him immediately as if I didn't plan to avoid any eye contact with his phone.

Even though, how painful the road will be

Remember the love that I have, that we share

It will guide you through the path, of you and I

I just smiled at him and focused again my attention on the road as the cars start moving. I don't know if he will tag me or not but I do pray that people will not tag me on their tweets followed by a bunch of death threats or something for being with Tay at this very moment.

Then moments later, my phone began buzzing. When the cars paused, Tay indeed tagged me on his Instagram stories and numerous follow requests came into my notification. Majority of them are probably stan accounts because they are using Tay's different pictures.

I should probably get used to this if I want to survive the dating stage with Tay. I then put my phone on silent mode and asked Tay about his whereabouts. "So, where do you want me to drop you off."

"Let's go to the viewing party." I thought his plans changed though?

"Oh okay. Where will they hold the viewing party?"

Tay gave me the directions to the pub where they will celebrate the viewing party. We managed to arrive on our destination just in time before the finale starts. He politely asked me if I can drive for him home since his manager is not around. I agreed to his request and told him that I'll just go to Mild's crib to get my things since I'll be staying at my condo tonight.

He wants me to go with him inside because he'll introduce to me some of his friends.

Because it will be a hassle to go back and forth, I decided to stay with him. When we entered the pub, everyone is having a great night. They are indeed celebrating because there are bottles of wine and alcoholic drinks everywhere, foods catering services are also present and they are having a karaoke session while waiting for the finale episode airs.

Everyone is very welcoming to me. When they heard that I am an old acquaintance of Tay way back in college, they teased him to death because they are curious if I am the person that he mentioned during his guesting in School Troopers earlier.

I am lurking around to see if Mild is here but apparently, she is not. Tay told me to sit at the table next to theirs.

All the actors from the series are sitting in one area in front while we are one table away from him. With me is his friends from MGM.

They introduced themselves one by one and I noticed that majority of them are from the same batch of actors MGM introduced couple of years ago. The only one who I am not familiar with is Arm and Earth.

Arm Weerayut mentioned that he is two years ahead of Tay and Jumpol's batch. The only connection that bonds the three of them is that they all born on the same year. Arm became their senior in some projects but technically they are on the same age.

Earth Pirapat on the other hand is an actor that MGM introduced last year for a lakorn series. He became close with Tay because of their guesting in a variety show.

As expected, Amira and Mark's farewell to each other drew buckets of tears here in the viewing party. Surprisingly, Tay's acting here is exceptional. It seems like he is used the fact that he'll be chop off from the cast next season as an inspiration to deliver this emotional scene.

One thing that I noticed is that when Amira's character asked Mark if he wants to go to the beach where they first met, he declined and asked her to bring him to a church instead so that they can get "married."

A priest then blessed them together and pronounced them as husband and wife.

Before it is too late, Amira and Mark shared their farewell kiss and for spent his remaining moments with her inside the church.

Tay requested to be buried beside his father's grave and Amira on the other hand decided to live her life in France away from her family's messy life. Her step mother and biological father had a divorce and they were thrown out without a single penny because of the prenup agreement that she signed before. The step mom thought that she will forever be a leech to Amira's family but her husband decided to end everything once and for all and focused on fixing his relationship with his daughter Amira in France.

When the episode ended, everyone clapped their hands and gave the staff and crew a standing ovation. The previous production company who got fired is also here but when it's time for them to give their celebratory talk, they were not given the chance to say anything.

I guess they are only here for formality but realistically, everyone seems off around them.

Which is what they deserved specially after that assistant director's meltdown on twitter which by the way is not present today. I guess he had the decency to not show his face to Tay after slandering him.

After the party, I told Tay that I have to go to Mild's first because of things I left in her crib. Since it is along the way, I can go to Mild's then drop him off to his condo unit then mine's.

When we arrived at Mild's house, Tay wants to go inside with me since he wants to say hi to Mild. I managed to barge in because I have keys. When we went inside, the lights upstairs are not lit which means she is not yet here. The lights in the living room can be scheduled so I assume Mild set it up since she will be home pretty late.

Where is she right now?

Walking upstairs, I told Tay to wait for me outside Mild's room because she will probably smack my head if she learned that I let Tay inside of her room. It is literally full of things that a fan girl has. Posters, light stick, photo books, every single item that Tay endorsed, she has. The only thing that is missing is a standee.

"How dare you to accept the role? You think you can replace Tay? Over your dead body!" I heard a scream from the outside and it is Mild's. She is angry.

"Explain? I don't want to hear your explanation. I thought you're staying in America for good? Why did you bother going back here in Thailand?"

"Beg? I never beg for you to come back here. Excuse me, I already moved on. The only reason why I am calling you right now because you should have declined the offer! You will never be good enough for Amira! She is only for Mark! Do you understand that?"

"Of course, I have the right to be angry. Hello? I didn't watch 26 episodes of Together in Paradise for Amira to end up with another man. I invested emotions on their love story and you think you can replace him just because you are handsome and have a nice body? NEVER! Goodbye!" she shouted.

"Why are you shouting?" I asked her while laughing because this is the first time that Tay witnessed this other side of Mild.

"That scumbag," she started ranting while walking upstairs. "I know that he wants to start over again here in Thailand but there are many projects that he can do inst-dead..." It seems like she saw a ghost when she saw Tay trying to hold back his laughter. "T-Tay?"

"Hi, Mild." He greeted.

Mild's ears started to turn red and I can sense she is embarrassed with what just happened.


	12. Failure

Author's Note: 

This chapter is really out of nowhere. Everything here is spontaneous. I read someone's comment and they are asking for Tay and New's university background. And this is what I came up with. 

Thank you to LindyTulabing2 for the suggestion.

Enjoy~

CHAPTER 11

THEATRE PRODUCTION AUDITIONS

"Good day everyone!" The President of Theatre Arts Guild greeted us. I am inside the auditorium of Chulakorn University for their annual audition. They are basically looking for a rising star that will top bill in their drama this year.

The production will introduce a new cast member because the story will revolve around a rising artist too who will overcome adversities on his journey to fame.

"I am Anakin Sawongpeerat, the president of theatre arts guild and on behalf of the whole production team, we welcome you to this year's audition." We clapped our hands together. "So, our agenda for today is to find the perfect fit for the character of Moon, an aspiring actor who faced difficulties in life. He will meet someone who will introduce himself as a talent manager and unbeknownst to him, he will just be used to exploit for money. But the stars are going to align to him since he will find himself in a situation where a company will buy his freedom from slavery and introduce him as their next rising star." Quite long introduction for the character but okay.

"Moon's role will be difficult because every emotion should be channeled. We are talking about, sadness, guilt, hopelessness, anger and of course, joy. So, that's why we asked every one of you to bring your own script that will channel at least three of the emotions I said and may the best Moon, wins."

They gave us numbers which indicates the performance order. I got number thirteen, the last to perform. I don't know if it is a good thing or not but at least my performance will be the most recent in the deliberation.

Save the best for last, I guess.

Acting is my major extracurricular activity when I was in high school. For six consecutive years, I joined our school's annual play and for four times, I played the protagonist role.

Of course, they needed to give our seniors the lead role during my first two years because it will be quite awkward if a newcomer like me will snatch the spotlight in a snap. I just took it as an initiation for my glory years for four consecutive years.

I know I was born to be a star.

I got my interest in theatre when I watched Miss Saigon for the first time and for some reasons, I find it captivating to perform in a stage where everyone is literally just looking at you. And the satisfaction of hearing their applause after a performance is like music to my ears.

Lea Salonga inspired me a lot and it will be my dream to meet her one day. If other people's heroes are Superman, Batman or Ironman, then for me she is my hero.

You may think I am too proud of myself. Well, if I know I can deliver then why brag yourself right? The only thing that you may draw the line is if I degraded someone just because I know my capabilities. I don't do that. I don't need to focus on other people because I know what I can deliver and that is what I will show them today. It is up to them if they will find someone better than me.

But one thing is for sure, I am the perfect Moon.

It's been one hour and so minutes since the audition started and there are two auditionees left. When the proctor called the next one, it seems like I am in a fan meet when a group of girls started to shout and cheer. I looked behind me and it seems like they are a fan club or something.

"Bright you won our hearts!"

"Shine Bright, my love."

"Bright we got your back."

I guess he is famous because of these fans cheering up for him. When he is walking up to the stage, he smiled and it seems like every girl lost their mind. I mean he is cute.

"Sawasdee krub, my name is Bright Vachirawit Chiva-aree and I am a first year first year Marketing student." Then wild noises echoed again. Can these girls calm down? He is just introducing himself to everyone, there's nothing special about it.

At this point if they are behaving like this, I wouldn't be surprised if someone will start a riot when he starts doing his act.

"You have so many fans. Are you an idol or something?" The president asked.

"No, it just so happened that a video of mine went viral when I covered a song from Bruno Mars," he replied.

His video went viral but I haven't seen it yet. Okay.

"That's interesting. You may begin, Bright. Good luck."

Someone handed him a guitar and some props. Okay, he is ready with his own set design. He is just sitting there while writing something. After some moments, he began singing. His voice is good and soothing.

After finishing the chorus part, he displayed the first emotion. Happiness, he is happy because he finished writing the song. Then, he felt something vibrated in his pocket, someone is calling him.

His face suddenly brightened, I guess the person who he dedicates the song is on the other end. When he answered the phone, he is excited to relay the message to that person. He finally finishes the song that she wanted ever since. Then his facial expression changes. It seems like he is confused or something.

The person who is calling him right now is his girlfriend's mom. She is calling to tell him that his girlfriend passed away due to a complication with leukemia. He has no idea about it. Is that the reason why she is eager to hear the song?

I am already feeling the moment but when he began crying, I find it quite disturbing because it feels like he is forcing himself to do it. He began throwing his things. The guitar, the pen and paper, and the chair.

He is like throwing tantrums or something.

When he finished his piece, everyone at the back started screaming their hearts out. I guess they liked his acting which is understandable.

He had me in the first half, I'm not gonna lie. But everything went downhill when he started throwing things in the stage.

I gave him an applause and when it's my time to step into the stage, I took a deep breath first before walking again. Too bad that Mild is not here because she has an examination today but I told her that since this is recorded by the casting director, she can watch it again in the theatre production Facebook page.

I admit that sometimes I am delusional with my acting capabilities and Mild is like the person who will pull me back to the ground. She always gives her honest opinions and what should I improve. I trust her taste when it comes to acting since she is fond of watching series nowadays.

"Sawasdee kap, my name is New Thitipoom Techaapaikhun, a first year Fine Arts student." Unlike earlier, after I introduced myself, not a single cheer echoed in the auditorium. Which is fine because I don't really enjoy distractions.

"Nice to meet you, New. Please begin when you are ready," Anakin told me. I smiled to everyone and composed myself first.

When it comes to acting, I do believe with less is more. Sometimes, what people see on your face is enough for them to understand the message that you are trying to deliver.

For my audition piece, I got this idea when I watched a drama with Mild before and I just changed it a bit. Instead of relaying the message to his boyfriend name Pete, I'll just change it to Mom.

"Mom, it's already been three years. From the day that we fought about dropping out from college for me to pursue my dreams until today that I finally got my first salary, I've been though a lot of things. For every smile and cry I did in front of the camera, I did it for you."

I am sitting right now as if I am talking to my mother's grave. Since I didn't bring any props, I just pretended that I am lighting a candle and sweeping the leaves on her grave.

"I just want to you that I may regret some things that I did before, but pursuing my dreams is not one of them. I regretted not patching up things with you before it's too late. Please believe this; even though we fought that day and said some things that hurt you, you are still number one in my heart. You are my life. Happy birthday, mom. I will keep pushing myself to do good as long as I can. That's what I learned from the best, and that's you. I love you."

Then I heard a series of applause from the judge's panel. I wiped my tears and smiled. I bowed first before going off the stage.

I don't know but I am satisfied with my audition piece. It's short but I believe that I delivered the right emotions without going over or extra.

From thirteen, eleven will be cut off. The two will face an open deliberation where they will give their comments and critiques. I don't know my chances but I'm just hoping that since I am last to performed, they will find my piece more memorable.

"Okay, so the council already decided. The final two auditionees that passed the initial screening are performer number twelve," a wild group of girls began shouting again. Their favorite managed to enter the deliberation round. "And performer number thirteen."

Even though no one is cheering for me as loud as them, I can hear some claps inside the auditorium. I smiled to them and went to the stage with Bright.

"Congratulations, New and Bright for passing through the deliberation round. So, both of you were chosen because we saw potential to the both of you. We also saw a glimpse of Moon on your acting earlier which is why we chose the two of you." Anakin started.

"So, let's go first with Bright. Your acting earlier is good and I felt the emotion during the first half. When the climax of the scene approached, you delivered the emotions correctly, but towards the end we kinda lost you. It's like you are just throwing a fit which in reality what some of us will really do. We can work on that."

"Thank you krub." He bowed and gave a smile to Anakin.

"You also didn't get distracted by your fans because you are in character the whole time. They are literally cheering their hearts out but once you started, you sailed through. You are focused and that's what theatre production is all about. Whatever distractions happened in the audience area, you should just stay in character." One of the panelists added.

When it's time for my critique, I braced myself.

"Now, for you New Thitipoom. I didn't expect you to deliver your lines that great. I thought you are shy and reserved when you walked in that stage. Short, but full of flavor. It is like you already know what you are doing. You are just sitting over there and waving your hands like you are cleaning something but the facial expressions sold your performance." The panelist on Anakin's right said.

"The only thing that I would ask from you is more. I want more because it is that good," the adviser of theatre guild commented.

"Out of the thirteen, I saw a fraction of Moon in your piece. You did a very good job."

"Thank you so much," I replied.

They liked my performance. My heart is pounding really hard even though didn't mention anything negative.

"Congratulations," Bright offered his hand to me which I gladly accepted.

"Congratulations to you too," I told him

After hearing my critique, I don't want to be delusional but I guess they liked my performance a little bit more than Bright's. It's like a 60-40 victory for me.

While they are giving their final deliberation, Bright then entertained some of his fans. He is really hands-on with them and open with taking pictures with all of them.

The deliberation is quite long and I guess some of them are discussing about another thing. It seems like they are not on the same page or something. I was just looking at them when someone poked my shoulders.

"Mild! How was the exam?"

"I am so sorry if I cannot watch your performance live. I don't have to be here to know that you'll devour that stage." She said while fixing her things and sat beside me.

"Well, I guess it's a neck-in-neck because they are discussing about it for about fifteen minutes now." I told her while still looking at the judge's panel.

"Really? Is his performance that good?" We glanced at Bright who is having group pictures with his fans.

"They said that he displayed the emotions needed but it went downhill on the last part of his piece. But I guess it is not enough reason for me to get the role," I replied.

"Don't worry, I know you will. Maybe they are just making things intense but the real tea is they have a landslide winner," she really knows how to ease my nervousness. Somehow it is working.

After ten more minutes, I guess they already made up their mind. Based on some of the judges reaction, some of them are not happy with what they come up with. They asked us to go up again on stage to give their final verdict.

"This is a very tough decision to make. One of you has a potential star quality and one you is literally perfect package." It seems like he described me twice, don't you think?

"Acting wise, we all had unanimous votes. But we have to also consider some factors. We are planning big for this year's theatre production and we all need the support that we will be needing inside and outside the university."

Since the play will be held during University Week, it is expected that many people will watch it and it can last for two weeks, three plays per week. After U-Week is Open Campus. The university will open its door to other universities for the first time in hope that they can attract transferees and upcoming new students.

"So, we decided to give the role to..." my heart is pounding. I should be confident to get that role but sometimes, fate is a bitch that it can literally turn everything one hundred and sixty degrees.

I want to get this role because I know that I can deliver what they are looking for Moon's character. It is also a perfect fit for me since I am an aspiring actor. I can relate to him so much.

"Bright Vachirawit," and the audience went wild. I don't know but it feels like a big piece of me got shattered. Bright held my hand and gave me a handshake. We hugged each other and I congratulated him for getting the role even though deep down in my heart, I am screaming in disbelief.

I smiled at him and went down the stage and approached Mild. She is watching my audition piece.

"How come you have that?" I asked her while Bright's fans are running towards the stage.

"Jumpol is in charge with the audition tapes. He's a friend of mine. I asked him if I can watch it and he gave me his laptop."

Call me delusional or what but I really thought I would get the role. I can't help but shed a tear. I guess they saw something on Bright that they didn't saw on me. I just took a deep breath and displayed a forceful smile.

"Mama this is garbage." Mild exclaimed.

"Mild, lower down your voice," I pleaded. She just finished watching Bright's performance and based on her reaction, I think she didn't like it.

"With or without bias, your audition tape is much better than his. What were they thinking?" she stood up carrying the laptop and walked her way to the panel corner.

Shit is about to get messy.

I tried to stop her but it is already too late because she laid the laptop on the table and started asking some questions.

"Are you for real?" she started.

"Mild, let's go." I asked her, "I'm so sorry." I smiled to them and tried to pull her out.

"No, don't be. You don't have to say sorry to them. It's their loss not yours." She resisted. "I watched the audition tapes and my judgement says otherwise. New's acting is more cohesive. His emotions stood out and he didn't have to destroy things just to show that he is angry." She then gave a glare to Bright and his fans who are clueless right now of what is happening.

"Mild, calm yourself." The guy told her which I assume is Jumpol, the one that she mentioned earlier.

"How can I calm myself? This is rigged mama. Is this the reason why the deliberation took almost an hour? To give the role to someone who clearly didn't won in the first place?"

"Hey can you shut the hell up? Who are you to tell that, huh?" one of the fans of Bright shouted. She got a support from her co-fans.

"Girl, here are the footages. Watch it again closely and tell me I am wrong." She then placed the laptop on stage like a bad-ass girl. I am genuinely scared of her right now.

"Ah, Mild. Mild right?" Anakin asked. "If you heard what was mentioned earlier, we need to consider other things which is why we come up with that decision."

"And by considering other things, you mean the ticket sales?"

No one answered back from them. Even the adviser is speechless right now.

"Well, good luck on your play then. I hope the ticket sales will compensate the acting of your lead character. I wish y'all success. And if it fails, looked again on that videos so that you will remember the wrong decision you made today." We are about to leave when Anakin stopped us.

"Actually, we are planning on giving New the role of Bright's understudy," he said.

She laughed sarcastically, "My friend deserves better than someone else's understudy. If he is Lea Salonga, he might accept it." He looked at Bright, "But unfortunately, he's not her."

Mild is pulling me away from them, walking our way outside the auditorium. I am trying to held back my tears because I didn't have the guts to tell those things by myself.

I never felt like a failure until today.

I failed to get the role that I want and I failed to stand up for myself.


	13. Opportunity

CHAPTER 12

"That was intense," Tay giggled. We are here in the living room while Mild is walking her way to the kitchen where the fridge is located. She needed a glass of water after the shouting that she just did.

"I'm so sorry that you have to hear that." She returned with two glasses and a pitcher of water, placed in the table so that we can drink. She is back to her persona when Tay is around.

"Why are you acting like that now? Just loosen up, he already saw your natural self. You don't have to pretend anymore," I demanded.

"Pretend? What do you mean?" Tay curiously asked.

"Well-"

"I'll answer that," she interrupted me. "I needed to tone down my actions a little bit when I am with you because I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. What happened earlier, that is just a fraction of my true self when I am just alone or with New. Every time I am doing my duties, I have to be this prim and proper, respectable person but when I am alone, I am the opposite of that. But truth to be told, I am not a total freak. It just so happened that I am invested with your dramas and such."

"Mild, you don't have to do that. We 're not stranger anymore and you can be who you are when I'm around okay? As long as you don't do something crazy, crazy then we are good." He affirmed.

"If you only knew, she can do more than that. She may look an angel but she can be a badass too," I told Tay.

"Just like what happened in the auditorium six years ago?"

Mild and I looked at each other. "You know what happened on that day?"

Tay laughed. "I stayed during the whole audition because my class is already finished. I was so surprised when someone yelled about the process being rigged or something. That's the first time I saw Mild and left a huge impression to me. She is really a good friend," he mentioned before that he saw my audition performance but I didn't know that he stayed until the meltdown. "That's why when I saw you together here in MGM, I asked you if you and Mild has something."

"Tay, I love New so much but not that extent," she replied as if she is disgusted.

"Wow, disgusted much?" I asked jokingly.

"Just kidding," she is just smiling when suddenly her facial expression changed. "Speaking of love, what is happening? Why you two are here? What's with that Instagram story?" And then she fired multiple bombs, not allowing us to find a shelter first to hide ourselves.

Tay and I just looked at each other trying to find words to answer her questions. I don't know, I am not sure how will I define the relationship that Tay and I have. I am just hoping that he will answer it because he's the one who confessed.

"So, no one will say something about the story? The Musketeers song used as background music?"

"I like New," the gasp that Mild released is the exact reaction I imagined earlier if she learned what happened on this day. "And since we are here, I want to let you know that I will court New until he likes me back. If you don't like the idea, then I will prove myself to you that I am serious about it."

"Wait, what?" Mild then turned around to me who is speechless too. I didn't know he will fully expose everything like this. "And I thought you are having a one-sided crush on Tay. What is going on, Newwiee."

And she exposed me just like that. If I could slap her now, I already did.

"C-Crush? On me?"

"Well, I don't really know if I have a crush on you or not but when I was thinking of possible reasons why I can see your lifeline, that came on my mind." I immediately shut down the thoughts that Tay is possible brewing on his mind.

"Just say you have a crush on Tay and go," Mild demanded.

"We have to go now. I don't want to get stuck in traffic again. Our call time tomorrow is six, I'll pick you up okay?" I immediately stood up and bid farewell to Mild before she spat some nonsense that will feed's Tay's imagination.

"Why are you in a hurry, we have a lot to talk about." Mild asked as if she is dumbfounded.

"Nope, I have to sleep early. Bye, Mild."

Even though I cannot see him, I know Tay is enjoying this shit show right now and I don't have the courage to face him right now because of shame. I walked myself out of Mild's house as fast as I could.

As Tay enters the car, I tried my best not to look at him and distract myself by texting Mild and cursing her to death. Because she felt ashamed of what happened earlier, she made sure that I will suffer as well from humiliation in front of Tay.

Birds of the same feather, go down together.

"So, you really have a crush on me?"

"I don't remember saying to Mild in full verbatim that I have a crush on you. I just said that I think I am starting to like you a little. Not as intense of having a crush," I backpaddled.

"Why are turning red though?" He is teasing me!

"My car is red, maybe the moon is illuminating the hood and it reflects on my face. Let's go now, I need to wake up early tomorrow." I told him while maneuvering the car going outside the compound.

"If it will make you feel better, you look so cute when you are tense." How will that make me feel better? It only solidifies the fact that I looked like a mess right now because I can feel my face burning in red because of shame?

I haven't touched my phone since I last checked it earlier. Thankfully, Tay didn't tease me anymore. He just browsed his iPad during the whole trip. When we arrived at his place, he said good night in person for the first time and thanked me for joining him the whole day.

I mean it would not hurt to admit that you have a crush on someone right? Maybe the reason why I reacted that way is because I was surprised, I was cornered by Mild. So, before I start driving again, I rolled down my window and called Tay.

"Tay," I shouted. He looked back to me and mouthed Yes? "Good night, crush." I smiled.

"Wait what? I didn't hear what you just said." He walked back to my car.

"Nothing, I have to go now. It's already ten. Good night." I teased him and stepped pedal. As I drive away from him, I can see from my side mirror that he is happy.

When I arrived at my condo unit, I just threw myself in my bed. I opened my phone and notifications start to pop up. I saw Mild's text fifteen minutes ago and according to her I am trending at number five as of that moment.

She sent me a screenshot of the trend list and indeed, my name New is placed at number five. I checked my twitter account and my mentions are flooded, follow request increased drastically and my name climbed up to number three trending topic.

I took a deep breath before pressing the third topic so I can view what is happening. Basically, everyone is curious about my connection with Tay. Some of them are also asking if I am the one that Tay is waiting for.

[@hello_cutienina: Our private investigator @/e is still investigating about that story. If I am not mistaken, this is the first time that Tay posted on Instagram that has nothing to do with his work or anything.]

[@ttawanwhale replied to @hello_cutienina: Yes! I've been following him since he was introduced by MGM and this is the first time that he posted someone on his IG story. The Vihokratana's are generous, Tay is the exemption. 5555+]

[@hello_cutienina replied to @ttawanwhale: If you can only see my facial expression when I saw that story. I am at work and I had to take a bathroom break just to process what I saw earlier.]

[@ttawanwhale replied to @hello_cutienina: He even tagged the person. Our boy is getting braver these days.]

[@hello_cutienina replied to @ttawanwhale: Don't get me started with that Musketeers song.]

I am scrolling at the top tweets and one quote tweet grabbed my attention. They quoted someone's tweet.

[@whatdawhale_tawan quoted: Let me remind you that Tay has his own life. He doesn't owe you any explanation about it. He never forced you to be his fan anyways. If him dating someone is a big deal for you, then the doors are open sweetie. (@tawansgirl04: Well, I guess he's just like other idols. After benefiting from our money with their fan service, the true colors will show. Dating someone, and it's not a girl? Ghurl, bye)]

[@wantotawan replied to @whatdawhale_tawan: The homophobia jumps out from that tweet. Ghurl, bye]

[@tweetawan replied to @whatdawhale_tawan: She really thought she did something there. 55555+]

[@twntwts replied to @whatdahale_tawan: This is why reading novels and watching too much series is not advisable. Symptoms of delusion will occur and it could be a terminal case. 55555+++]

Browsing on twitter could be therapeutic and also stressful. I don't expect pure positive outcome from what happened earlier but I didn't think that the support that Tay's fan will be this overflowing. I can say that this is very far from what happened years ago.

I logged off from twitter and went straight to the bathroom so I can clean myself and prepare myself to sleep.

I lied, it's been thirty minutes since I finished my skin care routine and I cannot help but browse on twitter about me. They basically trying to connect the dots and they are having a hard time since my accounts are on private.

Some of them also tried to see if I have some photos with other MGM artists because few of them are following me on my social media accounts. Should I do a bold move and went public again? I mean I have nothing to hide. I am not that active on my Twitter so they cannot find some filthy tweets whatsoever. Aside from that, Instagram is my favorite application and I not really a selfie type of person so they cannot make fun of my photos.

Before I tried to sleep again, I did a courageous move of going public on my social media accounts.

Newwiee, you always lived your life publicly before but lowkey. Also, I always double check everything I post on my social media accounts. They will find nothing that can degrade me online.

I woke up from the sound of the alarm that I set last night. It's five in the morning and my call time is six thirty. I immediately went to the shower to take a bath and prepare myself for a very long day. After I finished taking a bath, I chose to wear white long sleeves and khaki pants because I don't know what to wear. I am just praying that they will provide us wardrobe for today.

When I was having a hard time sleeping last night, I tried to browse the script for today and what I noticed is how well distributed our lines are. Even though I am playing a second lead, my lines are quite many as well.

I checked myself in the mirror and when I am satisfied with my outfit, I checked everything first to make sure that I didn't forgot to bring anything. When everything is cleared, I used the elevator to go down the basement where my car is parked.

Mild texted me that she barely had any sleep because of her excitement and she is just finishing her make up. By the time I arrived at her place, she is probably done.

Thankfully, the shooting location for today will be held in a university in Bangkok.

I picked her up in front of her house and she is wearing a white turtle neck, beret and black pants. She is rocking her favorite converse shoes which if I am not mistaken Joss gave her during their first anniversary. I don't want to start the day with teasing her because for sure she will return the favor later.

My tentative role in the series is Gun's best friend. I am like the Yang to Mild's Ying. The three of us are members of an organization that helps students in the rural areas. Every week we go to their camp and teach them. Jumpol's character then decided to flirt on Gun's character so that the biggest budget for next school year will be transferred to them. Their org club decided to join us for the outreach project and during the last day of our evaluation, they sabotaged everything so that our org will not be given the biggest fund next school year.

The thing is, during the whole outreach program, Jumpol felt something while working with us specially with Gun. It is already too late for him to stop the plan because one of their members despises my character. Which I will confront him eventually. I am required to cry too which is dang, first acting gig after years of being inactive and it is already challenging.

I don't really know what else could happen in the story but that is the only material that they gave to us. I guess we have to shoot some scenes first here in the university before going to the rural area for the outreach program scenes.

Moments later, we arrived here in Bangkok University for the shooting. Jumpol requested if the three of us can stay in one waiting area which the production approved. They are already starting to set up the cameras, everything. P'backaof the director welcomed warmly.

"New Thitipoom, finally in flesh." He gave me a tight hug and I am here confused of what is happening.

"It's my first acting gig Phi after so many years." I told him honestly while shaking my hands.

"Is that so?" he then pouted his lips as if he is thinking of something.

"He is good P'backaof trust me," As if those words from Jumpol helped, it did not. It added more pressure to me because he is building me up. What if I failed because I don't have the skills anymore? What will I do then?

"I trust your words." He smiled at Jumpol. "Talking about your first acting gig in years, don't worry if you feel rusty. I will help you get through this three-day shooting, okay?"

I nodded, "okay Phi."

"And of course, Mild. I missed you so much." He then approached Mild and hugged her tightly. They already worked before, I guess. I don't really know P'backaof's credentials when it comes to the other series that he directed.

"It's so nice to meet you again, Phi." She gave him a tight hug.

"I hope the two of you will become a mainstay once MGM approved this trailer. I can see good dynamics between the three of you." He said to us.

"I don't really know Phi because I am still doing my masters degree in CU. I don't think I can balance it well." Mild replied.

"Don't worry, if this will be added on the official line up of MGM's series next year, the target date of release is by the last quarter of the year. By the time of shooting, you are probably finished with your masters then," he explained.

"If that's the case Phi, I am already free by the second quarter next year," she said in full excitement.

"How about you, New. Do you have plans next year?" he asked me.

"I am not yet sure Phi but my parents and I are talking about the possibility of me going to America to study in a theatre school. They want me to go with them there," I answered in full honesty. "The only reason that I accepted Jumpol's offer is because he said my role in the series is tentative."

"That's sad to hear. But I really do hope that changes will be made for your plans next year because I really want you for this drama." It seems like he is genuinely asking me to stay and accept the role. "Off sent to me your audition piece in a theatre production way back in college and I must say, I am really impressed."

He saw my audition piece? Wow thank you for the added pressure, Jumpol. I don't even know if I can match my old self. Well, I guess I just have to understand the character well and embodied some personal life experiences so I can deliver well my scenes.

I just smiled at him and gave a little bow. My parents and I are discussing the possibility of me flying with them in America next year. They are already preparing the papers for my enrollment in a university which specializes dramatic arts.

Finally, I must say that they fully support me with the craft that I want to pursue and I so happy to join them flying to the United States to fulfil my dreams. Watching Broadway shows, going to theatre houses and meeting some stars.

I can finally meet my superhero soon.

Not until yesterday, I am fully committed to the plan of achieving my dreams. But after what happened with Tay and him confessing his feelings to me, I am not one hundred percent sure if I can survive the idea of Tay and I if we are hundred miles away from each other.

That's why I am holding back with my words yesterday.

It literally slipped out of my mind because I am overwhelmed with how things are going fast. That is why I felt weird when he confessed, something is holding back inside of me that I cannot explain why.

Moments later, some familiar faces started showing up and Gun is one of them. The director called Jumpol and Gun together which I guess he is giving them some pep talk or something. While the make up artist is working on my face, I can see in Gun's face that he is pleased with what is happening. He can't simply drop that smile and his face is just brightens every time he is looking at Jumpol.

Mild and I were introduced to Gun. We will be his sidekick and he gave us a warm hug. Based on his facial features you will think that he is not this reserved and will not interact at you at all. He looks intimidating. But as we talk with him for quite some time, he is a sweetheart.

After half an hour of preparations, shooting is about to start.

First sequence is our encounter with the group of Jumpol. We are just walking in the hallways having decent conversation about our plans for next year and when we passed by the group of Kim, Jumpol's character in the series, they heard that we aim for the highest budget next year.

Kim, the president of soccer team didn't like the idea of another club desiring to acquire the highest financial budget since their team is under rebuilding stage. It will be his senior year next year and he don't want to graduate without the crown.

They want the money to acquire the services of an ex national team coach of Thailand.

Wayo, Gun's character on the other hand wants the budget because for years our club is being underfund and he wants to change that. He wants to prove that we deserve equal treatment.

When we are done with our sequence, it is time to film Jumpol and Gun's scenes. While waiting for them to finished, I am at our tent learning my lines since I have a big moment later. The confrontation scene with my on-screen partner which by the way will be played by Earth Pirapat, the one I met yesterday.

"Do you think I should cry?" I asked Mild jokingly.

"Well, it's up to you. The script didn't require you to do so since after the confrontation scene between you and Pop, you're going to walk out. Why? Are you planning to do ad lib?"

"I don't know if I should do it though. I am envisioning this scene differently. I mean I will do walk out but I want to do something extra."

"That's your instinct, Newwiee. Whatever you do, I know you can pull it off. Don't be afraid to do another take. If P'backaof didn't like your improv, then just do a retake and do it as it is."

When it is time for us to do the film our sequence, this is where the tension between Earth's character and mine will start. I will be presenting to the board our proposal for our project this year. We are going to do a four-week outreach program to a rural area. We are going to teach them and live with them as well.

But for some reasons, the soccer club wants to do immersion as well where they will teach young kids the basics about soccer. And guess what, their target is the kids from rural areas as well.

So, we will end up working together, thanks to the suggestion of the student government head.

It's so funny because after that student government scene, we will just change location and do some wardrobe changes for Earth and we're going to do the confrontation scene.

While they are setting up the camera, Earth approached me. "Are you ready?"

I looked at him and he is standing in front of me, "Yep. I'm quite nervous but I can shrug it off before the camera starts rolling."

"Don't be. So far you are doing great." His deep voice really matches his physique. I may say that he is quite attractive but looks like a player though.

"Let's do our best later then," I encouraged him.

When it's time for our scene, P'backaof initiated a conversation with us and asked us to channel the emotion based on how we understood the given dialogue. He is like giving us the go signal to do improv.

"Amp, let's talk." Krit pleaded, it is Earth's name in the series.

"I have to go to my next class," I pulled out the hand that he is holding.

"I'm sorry," he said in a low tone.

I looked him in the eyes, "What else do you want? You already have the budget for next year. Do you want me throw you a party?" I asked sarcastically.

"I-I..."

Since words are not coming out of his mouth, I resumed walking. I am trying not to cry spot on because it is not the right timing yet.

"I like you," he said in desperation. Because he cannot put into words what he just did, Krit decided to tell me that one thing that he can express.

I turned around, emotionless. But in reality, I am just trying to hold back my tears. "I'm hurting. If you like someone, the last thing you want is to hurt them." And then I let my tears fell. I started drifting away from him while wiping the tears.

"Cut! Good take!" P'backaof shouted. Actually, I improvised that last line. According to the script, when Krit said that he likes me, I will just stop walking and let my tears fell down before walking away.

Not that much of a change but I did it because Amp is a reserved person. He never told anyone what he is going on with his personal life. This will be the first time that he expressed himself. He let Krit see his vulnerable side which is like an indirect way of telling him that he likes him too, but he hurt him a lot.

I don't know if the viewers will understand that but whatever.

"How was it?" I asked Mild.

"It was everything! I am watching you in P'backaof's monitor and I am really impressed Newwiee!! That tears, chef kiss." I rolled my eyes because of her exaggeration.

"Whatever, I don't think that will be included in the final cut though. It is not in the script."

Since we are in a multi-cam setup, if they find it not fitting during the editing process, they can just cut my final line and just show me walking away after Krit said that he likes me.

"Don't worry, I captured your last dialogue. P'Jam told me that I can keep this as long as I will not going to post in on my social media account."

Mild opened her camera roll where the video is located and she pressed the play button. She is capturing camera B, a close up. I'm hurting. If you like someone, the last thing you want is to hurt them. As I delivered that final word that tears magically fell down too. I can't believe I did that. I thought I will look awkward while trying to held back my tears but no. I managed to sustain my emotions until that final blow. "It's so good. I have to show this to Off," she said.

I don't know but that final line that I improvised seems fitting to the situation of me and Tay.

Our day ended at exactly eight fifteen in the evening. After my scene with Earth earlier, I did four more sequences, all of it involves Mild and Gun. The call time tomorrow will be around ten in the morning since majority of the scenes that we need to film will happen during night time. We only have around six sequences that needs to be filmed during morning time and the remaining will be during night time.

"Newwiee, Mild." Jumpol called us, he is running towards our direction. "We have a problem."

"Problem?" Mild asked.

"Someone shared the video, Newwiee. You are trending again in Thailand at number one spot."


	14. Spontaneous

CHAPTER 13

Have you done something spontaneous that you suddenly regretted? Well, I guess going public again on my social media account is fit for that situation. My followers suddenly increased by twenty thousand on Twitter while my Instagram account increased by almost fifty thousand.

This could only be the beginning. They will bring up things whether I like it or not.

People managed to find my audition tape six years ago and it is circulating now online. The hashtag #NewActor is trending now at number one which according to some of the tweets that I read, they just started it as a joke. The original post that shared the video has over thirty thousand likes with twenty-seven thousand retweets.

[@funtawanth tweeted: He is the person that Tay spent his day yesterday when he went MIA. They attended the same university in Chula. Look at his acting skills. I wish MGM sees this and ask him to audition to be Te's partner. #NewActor #TayxNew] 1.81K replies | 27.6K retweets | 30.9K likes

[@momottwn replied to @funtawanth: Now that is acting. MGM? What's good. Give him a series now! #NewActor] 23 replies | 1.0K retweets | 2.4K likes

[@qwertawan replied to @funtawanth: He is just doing bare minimum but his facial expression sold the whole performance. #NewActor #MGM2018] 17 replies | 3.3K retweets | 5.8K likes

[@hello_cutienina replied to @funtawanth: Now I know why someone got inspired on doing acting.] 140 replies | 7.2K retweets | 9.0K likes

[@Tawan_Tay replied to @funtawanth: You will appreciate it more if you watched it live. I'm so lucky 5555+] 301 replies | 5.2K retweets | 15.2K likes

The whole thread went wild when Tay replied to the post.

[@hello_cutenina tweeted: User @/Tawan_Tay is lurking. Going private atm. I am scared.] 25 replies | 709 retweets | 2.5K likes

[@moontwn_ tweeted: @/Tawan_Tay last interacted with his fans almost three months ago when he went live for a MGM event. The world is healing. He has nothing to promote but he is interacting with us. Is this real?] 18 replies | 419 retweets | 1.9K likes

[@smiley_yuni tweeted: So, he watched @/newwiee_thitipoom's audition and he is bragging about it. We get it, okay? I hate people when they are in love.] 9 replies | 1.3K retweets | 2.2K likes

Scrolling through the timeline, I feel the validation that I didn't felt six years ago. To be honest, up to this day, that event still hunts me. But I guess this is the closure that I've been waiting for. At least now Mild and Jumpol are not the only people who said that I did a great job. Hearing it from some total strangers hit differently.

When I arrived home, I immediately took a bath to freshen up. I received a text message from my mom. I immediately called her.

"Honey, how's your shooting?" she asked while peeling an apple.

"It's tiring mom, but I had fun. Everyone from the production team is nice and the director is really good at giving instructions," I replied. "How's the trip?"

"Your dad and I are enjoying it so far. We went fishing earlier and he is grilling the fish outside. You want to say hi to dad?" She then got off the bed and walked outside the room. Moments later, she turned around the camera and my dad is indeed outside, grilling some fish and vegetables.

"Good evening, dad."

"Newwiee, how's your day? Did you enjoy your first day?" he asked while brisking some sauce on the vegetables.

"Yes dad. I enjoyed it a lot."

"Is it stressful?" he wiped his hands clean with the towel and grabbed my mom's phone so that he can hold it instead.

"Not really. Maybe because we are just shooting a mock up trailer so the sequences that we have to shoot per day is not that much." I explained while preparing my skin care routine.

"What will happen next if they approved the mock up trailer?" my dad asked.

"That's the thing. MGM approved fifteen scripts. Then they will trim it down to ten. The chances that our series will be included in those ten is actually big. I already told P'backaof that I am not fully committed with my role and that's what I told Jumpol before he tagged me along in this project."

"So, you already decided to join us in the states?" My mom asked.

"I mean it's my lifelong dream to study in a performance arts school. Now that I have the chance, I think I should not let that slip away." I replied sincerely.

"Don't take this the wrong way okay? I fully support you on your decisions in life. My only take on this one is that you don't have to go to Broadway or study in a performance arts school to go big. School can help you develop your talent but it is not limited to studying the art of performing only. Sometimes, experience is the best teacher, right?"

"Your mom is right. I mean we want you to come with us in America but if opportunities are already there, why bother studying when you can just do the thing that you love in the first place. We know your capabilities, New. You are born to be a performer and this could be the start of your journey." My dad followed.

I don't know if fate is really messing with me because we are in the middle of this conversation when Tay sent me a message on LINE. I opened his message and read it.

[Jumpol sent me the video that Mild took earlier. That's awesome.] He then sent a thumbs up emoji.

(I don't think that sequence will make it through the final cut though. That ad lib might be not fitting.)

[P'backaof is in charge with checking of the footages. If he saw that again, he might consider adding in on the final trailer.]

I don't know how to respond to my mom and dad's statements and Tay's text.

(Tay, I have something to tell you.)

[Well, I think I am on the right timing.]

My eyebrows crossed. (What do you mean?)

He is just typing but no messages were sent. Then moments later, someone knocked on my door. I don't know what to feel knowing that Tay might be on the other side of the door. I opened the door slowly and I swear to heavens, the expression of my face at this moment is like I just saw a ghost or something.

"Tay? What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"Dark chocolates," he offered. I let him come inside my apartment. It is almost nine thirty in the evening.

"Tay is there?" For quite some time, I forgot that I am having a video call with my parents. I snapped back in reality when my mom talked.

"Yes, mom." I answered. "What are you doing here?"

"Jumpol and Mild asked me to see you since I am just along the way. They want me to check you out because of what happened on Twitter." We sat in the couch. "How are you doing?"

"Honey, I'll call you again tomorrow morning okay? Our dinner is ready." My mom told me from the video call.

"Oh, okay mom. Good night. Love you, mom. Love you, dad."

"We love you honey. Good night. Good evening to you, Tay." My mom exclaimed.

"Good evening auntie, uncle."

"Talk to you tomorrow, Newwiee." My mom and dad bid goodbyes before ending the call.

I put down my phone and looked at Tay. "I'm fine, you didn't have to pay me a visit."

"You mentioned that you have something to tell me? What is it?" he is trying to make an eye contact with me but I am the only one who is trying to do so because I am literally flabbergasted.

I paused for a moment. I don't have to use beautiful words. Just be completely honest with him. Newwiee. "When you confessed your feelings to me, I am literally out of words at that very moment. I thought I am just in shock that's why I am holding back but there's more to that." I started.

"I completely forgot to tell you that I am planning to go with my parents to America to study performance arts in New York. I cannot process things that very moment because you confessing is sudden that I literally forgot about that."

"How long are you going to stay there?" I can't decipher the tone of his voice. I can't say that he is not happy about it but also it seems like what I just said did affect him.

"Four semesters," I told him.

"So that's roughly two years?" he clarified which I nodded.

"What about the series? What are you going to do about it?"

"To be honest, I am ashamed because I accepted the role and then eventually backing out. Well, it's just a mock up trailer so everything is not yet final. For sure changes will happen as pre-production phase approaches. I already told P'backaof about it and as expected, he is quite not happy about it."

"Do you really have to go?" Sadness in his face is slowly appearing.

"To be honest, when the cameras are rolling earlier, I never felt that kind of excitement even during my audition way back in college. I think I might pursue acting but on a different stage. But for me to do that, I am considering taking acting classes in America."

"You don't have to do that though. You did great earlier. You already have the talent." He fired back.

"But that is just for a mock up trailer. The script that was given to us is just a fraction of the what's going to happen in the series. I am not confident that I can deliver when it's time to shoot the real series." I replied.

"You can just undergo acting workshop instead. You don't have to flew hundred miles away just to learn the same things. Different methods, same outcome." To be honest, I don't have to explain myself to him because we are not even a thing.

"I like you Tay." That was quite brave, Newwiee. "But what hinders me is the fact that I want to make sure that I want to make sure that I deserve to be with someone like you. Not just someone you just went into the same university. If I am serious with starting things with you, then I have to prove that I am worth it."

"I know this may sound silly but I want to undergo the audition process again. I want to make it to the top without other people's help. Not because Jumpol knows the casting director or because your fans demanded the management to be paired with me. I want to do it fairly. This time, I want to make sure that my credentials will justify the reason why they should accept me for the role." I narrated.

"What if it happened again huh? Two years later, you went back to Thailand with that degree under your belt. But they still chose someone who is popular. What will you do?"

"Then it's fine. There are other management or agencies there that I can audition to. It will not be painful anymore because I know I have the credentials and they just overlooked it for someone's fame again. It is not painful because let's admit, that is really happening in showbiz. It hurts a lot before because I only have my talent to showcase. Aside from that, nothing else. Now having the right credentials will open a lot of opportunities for me if a door closes."

"I decided to explain this to you so that I can be transparent about the reason why I cannot fully commit myself to you, Tay. I like you there's no question about that. It's just that I have plans for myself and my future and I hope you'll understand that." I also tried to make an eye contact with him for this one. "I'll understand if you can't wait anymore longer. Dedicate your time, attention and effort to someone who can be with you."

I can say that I am quite sad to say those words to Tay, but I don't want to waste more his time. I just did what's best for the both of us.

Looking at him now, I am quite puzzled with what's going on his mind. He is just staring at me, not saying any words.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked him while opening a piece of dark chocolate that he brought.

"I want to kiss you so bad," I mean I literally rejected him, why is he acting like this. He should be angry to me or something.

"You should be angry, why are you saying that instead?" I asked in confusion.

"There's no reason for me to be angry at you. You're just making decision for your own growth. Two years? That's nothing. I can visit you there from time to time. I just want to understand your reasoning and now that I heard it, I will support you."

Why is he doing this? He is driving me crazy. Fuck, Tay Tawan you're insane for doing this to me. But I guess I am more insane with what I am about to do.

I moved closer to him and kissed him the lips. I don't care if he will taste the chocolate melting in my mouth.

He made me do this.

His lips are so soft, but I cannot sense him kissing back. Maybe he is not ready with what I just did. I thought he wanted to kiss me so bad? What's good, Tay? Why are you so stiff?

I slowly drifted away my face towards his and just like what I thought, he is shocked with what I just did.

"I thought you want to kiss me so bad?" I teased.

"A-Are you challenging me?" He asked as if I said something offensive.

"Not really. I just thought there's something special with Tay Tawan's kiss. Turns out there's none." I smirked and stood up so I can put the chocolates in the refrigerator.

As I open the fridge, he grabbed my hands and pulled me. The gaze from his eyes is petrifying. I am trying to control my body but I cannot do anything. Then, without hesitation, he started kissing me passionately. I am trying to keep my lips close but I gave in. I kissed him back.

I am scared if this will lead into something more intimate so I just allowed him play with my lips. I never saw Tay kissed his partner like this before.

As I opened my eyes, Tay is looking at me, smirking. "Now let me ask you this, is there something special with Tay Tawan's kiss?"

"Nothing," I answered playfully. He's about to kiss me again when I stopped him right away. "I'm just kidding. Don't you know how to take a joke?" I asked him.

"Well, I thought you are asking for third round."

"Third round my ass. It's getting late. You better go now," I instructed him while placing the bag of chocolates in the fridge. "What?" I asked him as I turned around.

"I'm just happy that I am here with you right now. I remember that time when we bumped each other in the backstage. When I realized that it is you who I bumped with, I felt bad raising my voice immediately. Then when I heard you talking about me, I felt that my chances that time to get close to you decreased. But I guess fate is really working in my favor."

"I am not really sure who bumped who so I just let it slide. That time when I am talking about you, I became defensive because Jumpol and Mild are teasing me that's why everything that I said that time is quite harsh."

"At least you're not sugarcoating your words, that's what I appreciate the most about you." He paused of a brief moment, "how about you? What else do you like about me?"

"I like the way you look at me. And I hope it will never change." I gave him a smile. "It's getting late, you better go now."

"Can I sleep here tonight?" He asked shyly.

"Are you nuts? I have to go straight to our shooting location tomorrow. I don't have time to send you off," I exclaimed.

"Then I will go with you tomorrow. Besides, it's been a long time since I saw P'backaof." He initiated.

"Don't you have any schedule for tomorrow?"

He pulled out his phone and opened it as if he is checking something. After quite some time, I felt my phone vibrated.

"This is my schedule for the next two weeks. As you can see, I don't have any schedule for tomorrow until Friday since my series is already finished. Basically, I am free this week."

"Does P'Mark knows about your whereabouts? That you are planning on staying here tonight?"

"So, I guess that is a yes?" Great, he answered my question with another question.

"I asked you first."

"He knows that I went here but he has no idea yet about my plan on staying here for tonight. I can text him now if you let will me stay." Why is he acting cute? It's cringey but at the same time makes him look attractive. What the hell?

"You're sleeping in the couch. It's big enough for you." I told him.

"I'm okay with that," he agreed. He then opened his phone again to compose a message for P'Mark explaining his plan on staying here for tonight.

Just like the first time, I lend him some of my clothes and some never been used underwear. I am finishing my skin care routine in my room when he knocked on my door asking if he can connect to wifi. I gave him the SSID of my router and the password.

"07042003." I told him.

"Thank you. Is that a date or something?"

"Yeah. It's my grandfather's birthday, and his death anniversary."

"Oh okay."

"It's okay, don't worry. Don't feel bad about it." I told him in a cheerful manner.

"Alright. By the way, what do you want for breakfast tomorrow morning?"

"I am not really a rice person, so maybe some chocolate flavored pancakes and sausages will do." I want to challenge him because doing chocolate flavored pancake specially if he's going to use dark chocolate is quite difficult. Balancing the strong and rich flavor of dark chocolates and sweetness of the batter that he will create will be a quite challenge.

I am not trying to make it difficult for him, I am just really craving for some pancakes, might as well request something unusual.

"That's quite challenging but I think I can pull it off," he replied while pouting his lips and walking outside my room.

"If it is not feasible, there is a chocolate syrup in the cabinet. We can just use that as a substitute to maple syrup instead," I gave him a wink which made him smile.

"Got it," while giving me a thumbs up. "Good night and sweet dreams."

"Good night to you as well. I'll see in you in my dream then."

It's almost eleven fifteen in the evening when I turned off the lights in my room so I can sleep. For the next couple of minutes, I am just looking in the ceiling of my room while biting my lips.

I cannot believe that I initiated a kiss to Tay.

What the hell, Newwiee? Do you no shame in your body?

I mean I just acted the thing that he wanted to do so badly. As long as it is consensual then I guess there's nothing wrong with it.

Slowly opening my eyes, my sense of smell can recognize that aroma. I guess Tay failed to create the right batter for dark chocolate pancake. I got off my bed and fixed it first before going out. It is eight in the morning which explains why the sun is directly shining through my window.

"Good morning," I greeted him. The chocolate syrup is placed in the middle of the dining table which made me laugh a little bit.

"Good morning. How's your sleep?"

"It's okay. I should be the one asking you that question. Did you sleep well in the couch?"

"Yes, I did. Don't worry about me. It's big enough for me. About your request, I tried to do a chocolate flavored batter but I cannot balance the flavor of the chocolate that I bought. I tried putting sugar to it but it turned out very sweet. So, let's just stick with the contingency plan that you came up with last night."

"A for effort." I grabbed the chocolate pancake that he mentioned and it indeed too sweet. "Thank you for the food."

"Don't worry, I'll do it again next time."

"Okay," I replied. Truthfully, he doesn't have to do it because I am just craving for pancakes last night and I remembered the chocolates that he brought. He can just disregard my request since it is really out of nowhere.

After we finished eating, I told him that he can take a bath first while I am washing the dishes. When I am done with everything, I went to my room and texted Mild to see if she is already awake. Five minutes later she replied.

I looked into my closet for some clothes that Tay can wear for the day. He can just wear the same pants that he wore yesterday so I just have to worry about his upper garment. Since it is Tuesday today, I dig in for some clothes with pink tones. I saw a long sleeve which kind matches his black pants. Since it is quite loose once he wears it, he can just simply tuck it.

My outfit for today is white shirt and pink jacket for my upper garments and jeans for my lower garment.

When he is done taking a bath, I gave him his outfit for the day which I hope suit him well.

Our call time is ten and it is already fifteen minutes before nine. I walked inside the bathroom and hanged my towel near the shower area.

As I removed the shirt that I am wearing, I felt a cold water splashed throughout my whole body when I saw my reflection in the mirror.

00:00:18:04: 10:13

Zero years, zero months, eighteen days, four hours, ten minutes minutes and thirteen seconds.

I never saw my own body clock before but now, I can.

And it is decreasing every second.


	15. Clapback

AUTHOR'S NOTE: 

Y'all can skip this if you're not into some explanation and thank you message.

Merry Christmas Everyone!!! I hope you are all enjoying your day, eating all day the leftovers from last night's celebration. Just Kidding. 

I just want to say that this is like one of the best things that happened to me this year. Discovering TayNew and actually writing an au fic about them. As early as now, I want to say Thank You for the overwhelming support. I am reading your comments guys and I enjoy every single one of them.

We are done with the first half of the story and this is where things are going to get serious. I read some of the comments saying that they like how I write this series. Well, actually while I am writing this, I am imagining them doing it. I Belong To You Everyday consists of 15 episodes. 2 chapters per episode is the equivalent. So we are now on Episode 7. HAHAHAHA

But yeah. I am grateful that you guys kept on reading this even though the first part of this series is a struggle. But yeah, I will give you guys a memorable TayNew au fic. I promise you that. 

Anyways, xoxo lovelots and muwah!

Enjoy~

CHAPTER 14

Eighteen days? Ever since I discovered my powers, I never saw my own lifespan. That's why after I finished taking a bath, my mind is preoccupied. I just had to act as if nothing happened inside the bathroom. When I walked out, my eyes attention went straight to the guy standing in front of me half naked.

And if this situation doesn't add up to the confusion that is running through my mind, I don't know what else could.

I cannot see Tay's lifespan anymore.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Huh? W-What is it? I'm sorry?" I snapped back in reality.

"I asked if you have anything else that is not this big. I mean look at our body difference." Comparing my body and his, my body built is quite bigger than his.

"That's the only thing that I got for you. You could just tuck it in or something," and then I displayed a weak smile.

"Okay. I guess I can work that out." I was about to go back to my room when Tay checked me out. "Is there something wrong? Why is your face like that?"

"Don't worry, maybe because I only had five hours of sleep last night. My mood will get better later."

Lies.

As I entered my room, I removed the bath robe and looked in front of the mirror. It is indeed there.

00:00:18:03: 45:46

Zero years, zero months, eighteen days, three hours, forty-five minutes and forty-six seconds.

I have eighteen days left. I just have to shrug this off because I have some important things to think first. Things that I need to pay more attention at this moment. After my commitment with Jumpol's project, then that's the time to freak the hell out.

I walked out of my room and smiled, "Let's go."

While driving the car, I tried my best to act bubbly but deep inside of me, I am literally scared. Is this the downside of my ability? I didn't know that it consumes my own life expectancy. And when I saved Tay, my remaining days transferred to him?

It is unfair if that's the case.

First of all, I didn't ask to have this kind of ability. Second, I know that there should be sort of a payment for saving someone. I'm okay with bad karma or something misfortune will occur. But draining my own remaining days? No, it's unfair. Lastly, helping Tay when those thugs are beating him to death should be considered as a good deed too, right? I should be receiving a sort of a reward or something.

Why this?

"Do you have plans for Christmas?" I asked him just to initiate a conversation.

"Yes. I will visit my family in Chiang Mai. My sister will come home for Christmas after five years." He seems excited about it. There's something about Tay's facial expression every time he is talking about his family. "How about you? Any family planned vacation or trip?"

"Nope, I guess we will just go out and eat Christmas dinner then I'll go back to my apartment. I am not sure about my parents schedule but at least I can celebrate Christmas eve with them." I am not sad about it. The fact that I'll be spending the night before Christmas with them is already a special moment for me.

Also, I don't know but as we grow older, the excitement and magical feels of Christmas is slowly deteriorating. The feeling of anticipating every twenty fifth of December is not the same anymore.

"Are you okay spending the whole Christmas day alone in your apartment?"

"Don't worry, it's a tradition already for me to go out with Mild every twenty fifth of December. We watch movies, go shopping or visit some theme parks. Trust me, I'll be okay," I affirmed.

It's five minutes past ten in the morning when we arrived in our location. For this mock up trailer, we will be shooting it here somewhere in Bangkok but once the production of the series starts, the whole team need to fly to Chiang Mai where some rural communities do really exist.

"Good Morning," I every crew and staff that I am walking across with. The vibes of our filming location somehow uplift my spirit. As we approach our tents, I can already hear that loud voice echoing inside.

"Newwiee! You're here," he welcomed me. When Tay entered the tent, Jumpol's energy went double. "Taaaaaaaaay! What are you doing here?"

"I bet you had coffee for breakfast, am I right? You're so energetic and loud." Tay then placed a finger in his ear as if he is irritated with Jumpol's loud voice.

"Did you sleep over again in New's condo unit?" Mild started to investigate. Here we go with the thesis defense everyone.

"He slept in the couch," I told Mild while pulling out my script in my backpack.

"And you slept in the couch too?" Jumpol gaslighted the conversation that I am trying to put out the fire.

"Crazy. My couch is too small for two persons," I shrugged off trying to show my disinterest with the topic.

"What's with his moody attitude today? What did you do to him, Tay?" Mild interrogated.

"Or maybe the right questions should be what did Tay forgot to do," Jumpol followed up. I just rolled my eyes and focus my attention with the script that I am holding.

"He told me earlier that he slept late last night. Which explains why he is quite not in the mood with your jokes, Off." Tay explained.

"Are you okay, Phi?" The way Gun asked the question, I know that he is really concerned. I gave him a timid smile and replied.

"I'm okay. Don't worry."

"If there's something that you want to share with us, we're here to listen okay?" I don't know how to open up about it or if I can have the courage to do so. I don't want people around me to worry about things that I should be dealing with. They have their own struggles in life for sure, so the last thing that I want is to be an additional problem to them.

"Okay, I will." I replied without the intention of doing so. I found it hard to deal with it before because it involves another person.

After fifteen minutes, we started filming some of the sequences that involved with the kids. We have to depict some scenarios like teaching them, telling some stories and even preparing food for them. You know, the typical immersion program.

While Jumpol and Gun are shooting some scenes together, I decided to distract myself by playing with the kids.

Even though they are annoying sometimes, kids tend to be sweet with their actions.

"You're so handsome khun. You indeed look like a television star." One of the kids said.

"I am not a television star, yet. My friend asked me to join him in this project and I graciously accepted it," I replied.

"We will see ourselves in the television, right khun? When they asked my parents if I can act for them, they are really happy because they can get the chance to see me on the television." How do I even explain to the kids that this is just a mock up trailer? For sure follow up questions will be asked.

"If we do our best and if you all behave well, then there is a chance for your family to see you on the television."

"We will do our best then, khun." They unanimously exclaimed.

"When I grow up khun, I want to be an actress too. I want to star in my own telenovela show. I will work hard so that I can buy my parents a house." Hearing that kid's dream, it reminded me of Tay. He is also working hard so that he can give his mother and grandmother the dream house that they always wanted.

"Well, if that's the case you really have to work really hard okay? Whatever obstacles fate throw at you, you should stand tall and continue your journey. Just like in every fairytale, there will be people who will enter your life to help you go through. But of course, it's your own fate that you are trying to defy so you have to face some difficulties on your own. So, be ready and be brave, okay?"

"Okay, khun." Then the girl gave me a hug. That reminded is so timely and relevant to my situation right now.

The assistant director then asked us to prepare for the next scene. It will be me and Earth playing with the kids. After that scene, we will be having a heart-to-heart conversation with him which will makes him fall in love with me more.

The scene started with Krit pulling me over to teach the kids soccer. I told him that I don't know how to play too. So, the camera will just continue to roll as we play in the field. He is trying to assist me with the ball until it's time for me to kick it to the goal.

While we are sitting in the field, Krit asked me if I have a boyfriend who gives inspiration to me since I am an achiever. I told him that I don't have and I am not actually planning of having one until I graduate. But I admitted that someone is making me happy at the moment which is Krit.

After we finished shooting the field scene, I have two more sequences to prepare for and there is not much of a dialogue actually. The bonfire scene and the scene where Krit will see Amp with someone else and Krit will misunderstood the situation.

Then after that, they will cut the montage to the school scene that we filmed yesterday. I don't really know what sabotage will they do but I guess the power of editing will make everything emotional.

We finished filming some extra or filler scenes. I am thankful that I am doing something that can distract me when my mind is going all over the place. Walking back to our tent, someone from the production team called my name.

"Newwiee, they have delivery for you." He then pointed a group of men carrying boxes.

"Deliver for me, phi? But I didn't order anything."

"Those are food support for you." Gun told me while he is eating apple. "You already have fanbase I guess. Let's check it out."

Food support for me? I am quite stunned hearing that term because before I can only hear Mild talking about it through phone, arranging the same project from Tay's fans.

As we approach the boxes that the guys carried, a set of meals and drinks are inside of it. Based on its quantity, this is enough for all the cast and crew here today. There's a sticker in each food meal, this is a joint project between Tay's fans from Philippines, Indonesia, Thailand and China.

I grab one food meal and asked Mild to take a video of me.

"Thank you so much Tay's fans from Philippines, Indonesia, Thailand and China for this food support. I am quite surprised because I didn't expect this one. Hope to meet you all soon. Love you all!" And I ended the video greeting with a smile.

I then posted the video on Instagram and Twitter.

"Your fans are so thoughtful. They surprised me, not gonna lie." I told Tay who enjoys eating.

"They also did this before with Davikah and other co-actors that Tay worked with. Maybe when they learned that you and Tay are could be a thing, they decided to send support to his safe sky." Mild teased while there's a spoonful of rice in her mouth.

"There's no such thing, yet." Tay answered which results Jumpol, Mild and other people inside the tent swooning.

"Long distance relationship is no joke though. I don't know what kind of booster the two of you have to drink to make it work," Jumpol said in a playful manner but with an underlying concern.

"Yeah, you said before that you've been waiting for him for years now. What's with the dedication? Are you a thing before in your past life? Did he save you somewhere before?" Mild teased as if she didn't know what happened. She really likes to stir the pot.

I gave my attention to Tay, waiting for his answer.

"The only thing that I can say is that he's worth the wait," he answered back while digging in some rice and pork ribs.

"What's with your answer Tay? It's too cheesy! I cannot with you!" P'Bam, his stylist exclaimed.

"Newwiee, you better buy some helmet for Tay before he smashes his head somewhere and forget about your existence," Mild suggested jokingly. But deep inside of me, I am scared when she mentioned that. What if one day, he's not like this anymore? I don't want to get used to this kind of behavior from Tay.

I am not full of myself okay? I just know that once I set a goal, I am giving a laser focus on achieving it and my time for other things will be sacrificed. If I decided to be with Tay, I cannot guarantee that every day I can talk to him via video chat or text.

Well, I can send him text messages every day, that is not really difficult to do. But whatever.

What I'm trying to say is, we don't know what's going to happen in the future. What if doing video calls and sending text messages everyday is not satisfactory for him? I don't want to go home after a very long day and receiving a text message from him saying that he cannot do it anymore. That he is tired. That he tried but he cannot fulfil his words.

I can already imagine how will that affect me emotionally.

I am not being overthinker or what, it's just that yes, we can say that if you have trust with each other, everything will be fine.

But for how long will that sustain your physical and emotional demands for each other?

Wait, why am I even thinking about something when clearly there is a bigger problem that I need to overcome first? My goodness, I cannot believe myself. Becuase of my feelings for Tay, I totally forgot that my time is running out. I am busy thinking about how will I survive the impending two-year long-distance relationship with him when I should be worried about my life for the next three weeks or so.

It's already dark outside when we finished our dinner. According to our set designer, we are going to use minimalist light and rely on the bonfire that they created a while ago. This will be the second to last sequence for me. It will be just a shot of Amp and Krit being close with each other and then the necklace scene.

When we are done with my scenes, Mild and I went back to our tent since the remaining sequences that they will film are Jumpol and Gun's. According to Tay earlier, he will be riding Jumpol's car since it's ideal than taking our route.

I opened my phone and I saw that mom had a miss call. I immediately went out and called her back.

"Hey mom, I'm sorry if I missed your call. We were shooting some scenes earlier."

"Oh, did I interrupted you honey?"

"No, I am already done for the day. We are just waiting for the others to pack up."

"Okay. Dad and I are on our way back to Bangkok. We will just have our dinner at your Aunt Jane's restaurant. How about you?"

"I'm good mom. Tay's fans sent me food support here in our set. I already ate dinner."

"Y-you're with Tay?"

"Yes mom. He's here with me."

"O-Okay. Well, drive safely okay? We'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay mom. Love you. Please tell dad too."

"I will." And the conversation ended.

While waiting for them to finished, I decided to lurk into my Twitter feed. I haven't receiving any pop ups on my phone notification because I turned it off. Many fans of Tay liked my tweet and replied with kind words.

For some reasons, I sneaked into some timelines and I saw multiple paparazzi-like photos of me and Tay together today. They are relying on these photos since Tay and I are inactive on our social media accounts the whole day.

Some of them mentioned that they noticed Tay's voice during my video greeting but they are not sure if that is really him. Then the pictures confirmed that it is really him. I then went off on my Twitter application and opened my Instagram account.

"Te, your fans are so thoughtful na kap. I already thanked them, how about you? Do you have something to say?" I told him while taking a video of him. He is scrolling on his iPad and looked at me. When he realized that I am taking a video, he smiled generously and bow before saying something.

"Thank you to all of you. The food is delicious. I am full." He said while rubbing his tummy.

I then turned my front camera and mouthed thank you before the fifteen second limit runs out.

I posted the story and went back to Twitter to lurk into some Tay stans account.

[@orcatay_09 tweeted: Did anyone else noticed that Tay's long sleeve are quite big for him or I am just being delusional?] 9 replies | 20 retweets | 503 likes

[@hello_cutienina replied to @orcatay_09: can someone escort him out of the building. This tweet is a hate crime.] 2 replies | 38 retweets | 200 likes

[@orcatay_09 replied to @hello_cutienina: We all know that you also noticed that. Stop acting like you didn't you face Tay stan.] 1 reply | 4 retweets | 89 likes

[@hello_cutienina replied to @orcatay_09: Did you saw me tweeting about it? You're the only delulu out here, go away.] 1 reply | 10 retweets | 125 likes

[@orcatay_09 replied to @hello_cutienina: You're going down with me, Ms. Nina. I should not be the only one suffering from this delulu sickness. 55555] 2 replies | 19 retweets | 101 likes

So, they did notice that Tay is wearing an upper garment that is like one size bigger than his usual body size. I just pray that no one will notice that it is mine but I guess it is already too late for me to worry about that.

At this rate, they already connected the dots. They probably know that it is my garment.

I am scrolling down on my timeline when I saw a stan quote tweet something.

[@mrsttwn quoted: I beg to disagree with that. Tay is just being true to himself and he is not using @/newwiee_thitipoom to gain attention. Why do people always have something negative to say? If you are not a fan of him, then go away. (@thanavit_artvit tweeted: Now that he is irrelevant because of his drama ended, he is trying to leeched the opportunity of using that poor guy for his own gain.) 3 replies | 15 retweets | 109 likes

[@whatdawhale_tawan replied to @mrsttwn: Imagine of all the good things that happened when Tay is with New, he really focused on that nonsense bullsht. He's probably living a miserable life and is trying to drag Tay with him. Smh] 1 replies | 9 retweets | 77 likes

[@qwertaywan replied to @mrsttwn: So, he chose violence? Can't wait for him to be s-worded. Tagging @hello_cutienina, @tawan_philippinesofc @ttwn_thai @taywan_chapter @TawanFansClubChina] 8 replies | 56 retweets | 291 likes

[@thanavit_artvit replied to @mrsttwn: I am entitled to my own opinion. Y'all are obsessed with your Tay that you found my tweet even though I didn't tag him. Bunch of delusional fans. He will never sleep with you!] 21 replies | 2 retweets | 0 likes

[@mrsttwn replied to @thanavit_artvit: How miserable your life could be that you think that way. Majority of us decided to stan Tay because he makes us happy even though we are miles away from him. He never forgets about us and he acknowledge us. 1/2] 1 reply | 24 retweets | 892 likes

[@mrsttwn replied to @tanavit_artvit: He always mention his fans and he is always thankful for the support that he gets. To think something like that, you need to see a doctor because the way you perceive things is disgusting. 2/2] 19 replies | 108 retweets | 1.2K likes

[@tanavit_artvit replied to @mrsttwn: Just say that you're delusional and go. Either way, that New is also benefiting from being with Tay. He knows how to break his way through fame. Not bad for a starter. 55555+] 42 replies | 3 retweets | 4 likes

I am literally fuming at this moment while reading those tweets. He's craving for attention? Then attention is what he will get. I tried to think of words that will end this man's twitter career. When I properly composed my thoughts, I began quoting his last reply.

[@newwiee_thitipoom quoted: You cannot judge a person based on what you see online. He's more than what you think. Now let's talk about your claim about me using Tay so that I can break through fame, just give me two years, I'll show you that I can make it through on my own. (@tanavit_artvit replied to @mrsttwn: Just say that you're delusional and go. Either way, that New is also benefiting from being with Tay. He knows how to break his way through fame. Not bad for a starter. 55555+)] 102 replies | 1.2K retweets | 4.8K likes.

"Newwiee, you don't have to tweet that. Don't give haters attention because that is what they want in the first place," Mild poked me.

"You don't have to defend yourself because we all know that you're not like that." Tay supported her which I guess he also so my tweet.

"I also defended you okay. People like that need to learn their lesson. If no one will clap back, they will think that we are scared or something," I said.

"Let the fans handle it. They can mass report that account instead and they will do that to every hater that they will see," Mild said.

"I just want to make a stand for myself and Tay."

"Okay I understand what you are trying to do. But next time, just ignore them and let Tay's stans do the job. They can decimate that account within the day. Trust me, I also reported some of them and the satisfaction of seeing their account suspended is priceless."

"I'm curious. Why are you not responding to some tweets like that? I mean you're always on your iPad probably browsing Twitter. For sure you see tweets like that all the time."

"Because they are entitled of their own opinion. I cannot please everyone. Besides, words like that don't matter if there are thousands of encouraging words out there. That's what I learned for the past two years. I just let P'Mark handle some things if it gets out of hand. He reported some hate tweets before like threatening, slander or libel. I am not doing anything because I am busy proving my haters wrong. That's the best clapback for me," Tild confidently stated.

Which makes sense. But sometimes it would not hurt to respond.

Fifteen minutes later, P'backaof called it the day. Tomorrow, we will shoot all the filler and alternate scenes. Our call time is around ten again and I can't wait to have a full eight-hour sleep tonight.

Mild and I went to the parking area where my car is. I was about to enter my car when Tay said something to Jumpol.

"Hey, let's reroute. Drop me off in Samsen Nok instead," he instructed.

"Samsen Nok? Why what are you going to do there?" Jumpol asked as he presses the car key to unlock the car's doors.

"I have a meeting there," he then looked at me. "Text me when you're home."

"Okay," I smiled.

Since it is almost nine, the traffic going back is not that heavy. I managed to arrive at Mild's place in fifteen minutes.

While waiting for the traffic lights, the image that I saw in the mirror earlier came back. This day is so eventful that it helped me a lot to forget about it. I am thinking of ways on how to deal with this and the first thing that came to my mind is to tell my parents about it. I have to tell them eventually, might as well tell them this early. Before it's too late.

Then after telling them, I will ask for a specialist's diagnosis if I have some illness or whatever. If for some reasons I am sick, at least we can do something about it through professional help. If I am not, then fortuitous event will be the thing. Just like what happened to Tay.

I'll just have to stay and lock myself inside my condo unit until the last day.

I opened my GPS so that I can have directions to my Aunt Jane's restaurant. I don't know how to get there if I am not from the airport. After clicking my history, the directions automatically look for the alternate route.

Ten minutes later, I arrived at my destination. I parked my car somewhere near the restaurant since their parking lot is full. I am walking my way to the entrance when I saw from the window my parents. But it seems like they are talking to someone since they are looking at someone in front of them.

Based on my mom's facial expression, I think she is concerned or something while my dad is just holding his hands together, I guess listening to what the person in front of him is saying. I was about to go inside when suddenly, I recognized the face of the person they are talking to.

What is Tay doing here?


	16. Honesty

Author's Note: 

Of course, I have to end the year with a bang. Cheur! Happy New Year to you guys! Thank you for being part of my 2020! Gosh, we are already 3k reads and it feels so surreal. Shout out to user @nwtttytwvk on Twitter. You made my night last night when I am having difficulty writing this chapter. Thank you so much! 

To Tay and New, I love you so much! You have no idea how much you guys mean to me. You literally saved me from the wreck that this year has been to me. 

Once Polca, Always Polca.

Enjoy guys!~

CHAPTER 15

Mild and I are back here in Bangkok University for the last day of shooting. Tay is with us today again since he's free again the whole day. About the thing that happened last night, I am really having a hard time asking him about it.

I have zero idea that he's going to that place. I can count with my fingers the restaurants around Samsen Nok and for some reasons, he went to my Aunt Jane's and had a dinner with my parents. Without telling me. Even my parents didn't mention anything about it.

I feel betrayed.

No, I'm just kidding. I am really curious about what happened during their conversation. Are they talking about me? Did they talked about what happened when they barged into my apartment that night and saw me pressing his boobs and chest?

"Tay?"

"Yes?" he said while texting someone.

"Why did you lie to me? You told me you are going to have a meeting. Why did you not tell me about meeting with my family?" I asked him in the calmest yet full of angst.

"Well, I didn't really lie to you. I just said that I am going to a meeting somewhere. That's it."

Yeah, he didn't lie about it. Scrap that idea Newwiee, you're just making yourself look like a fool. But still, meeting with my parents without telling me is making me anxious. Like why am I not invited to that dinner? I was hungry too.

I'm popping these jokes to hide my overthinking tendencies. But deep inside of me I already want to confront Tay about it.

Mild went out to buy some ice cream because she is craving for it since it is scorching hot here. It is already December yet it feels like we're in the middle of summer.

While thinking of words to say to him, his phone suddenly rang. He answered it. He's just listening to the other line and nodding like he understood what is being said to him.

"Hey, I saw the trend list on Twitter that Tay's life story will be shown in a TV special," Mild said while placing the plastic bag of ice creams.

"Is that so?" I looked at him and I guess that is the topic that they are discussing at the moment.

"If I am not mistaken, that's been in the post production phase for months now. I guess P'Mark is already informing Tay about it."

"It already trended on Twitter before he was informed about it?"

"Tay's fans are really sneaky. They are like investigators. Some of them follows the producers, writers, directors or managers. They can find the fire even though the smoke is just starting to arise. That's how talented they are with investigating."

"But isn't that too much? Take this as an example, it is all over the social media even before the channel or whoever is in charge released the information. I find that problematic at some point. What if they won't release it as planned? What will happen next now that it is the talk of the town? Are we going to have a Gun-Tay fiasco version two point zero?" I get that maybe they are only excited about it but to extent that following the producers or executives just to have an information about their idol is quite overboard for me.

"I know that you find it bothersome but just let them be because we cannot stop them. I got the point that you are trying to say but trust me, this one is harmless. Besides, it's been a long overdue already. That drama supposed to air weeks before the premiere of Together in Paradise season two."

"Don't worry, they already confirmed it that it will air this Sunday," a familiar voice intrudes our conversation.

"Your fans are really something. Are you okay with that too? They are already talking about something and making it trend on social media right before it is announced?"

"Someone from the editing team released a screenshot of the whole episode that has been edited, so it is already a giveaway. They don't usually follow producers, executives, or directors, it just so happened that that person tagged me and then they saw it," Tay told me as if he is trying to educate me about these things.

"I know that you are still shocked about what happened. Don't worry, I am always there to remind them if they are already crossing the line. Just like what I mentioned before, the fans evolved. They are more responsible and they know how to own up their mistakes," Mild reassured to me trying to tame me down a bit.

I guess Tay noticed that I am acting weird, feels like I am disturbed by something, so he checked me out. "It seems like you're not okay. What's wrong?"

This is my chance to at least clear something to the series of questions that is currently residing in my mind.

But I fear that Tay will tell something that contradicts the answer that I am expecting from him.

None of them told me about the dinner that happened last night which means they intended to not let me know about it. The thing is, why? I mean am I the topic of the conversation? I am slightly being paranoid but I can't help to think that way.

"I just couldn't sleep well last night," that's not a lie though. I had a hard time sleeping last night because my mind is all over the place.

"Are you hungry?"

"No, I'm fine. We'll probably eat later after the shooting." I said in low energy while digging in some ice cream.

"I have to go back to MGM building because they decided to include me last minute to their line up for School Troopers. But before I go back, I have something to tell you."

I just gave my attention to Tay while Mild who's sitting beside me is in full attention mode too.

"Last night, I had a dinner with your parents." My eyes widened because earlier I am struggling to open up about this topic to Tay but now, he is initiating the conversation.

"Why?" I asked.

He paused briefly as if he is thinking of the right words to use on explaining the situation last night. "They reached out to my manager and asked me if I have some time to catch up with them."

"What happened?" Mild is in full gossip girl mode.

"It's hard to explain right now because I am in a hurry but I asked them if we can have a dinner with them. The four of us."

"Family dinner with you? What is this? Are you going to ask for his hand in marriage or something?" Mild asked jokingly.

"No, it's not like that." He laughed awkwardly. "Are you okay with that idea?" He asked me.

Even though I already have answer about what happened last night, there is something that is still bothering me at some point. I don't feel good about the idea of the four of us having dinner because things can escalate really quick.

I don't even know if my dad is okay with me seeing or dating guys. Maybe the idea of his son being gay is okay with him but taking it to the next level by dating a guy, correction, a famous guy like Tay will literally bring so much attention to our family.

"Did my parents agree on that idea? Because I don't really want to make things uncomfortable for them specially for my father." I told him in sincerity.

"At first, your mom is against with that idea but eventually she agreed. About your father, don't worry because he is on board with this one." He replied with affirmation.

Then I guess there's nothing to worry about, "I'm in then."

"Great, I'll go back first to MGM. See you," he then tapped my shoulders and bid farewell to us.

While my attention is focused on the spoon that is soaking in the melted ice cream, some of the staff called us because they already finished filming the auxiliary scenes. I immediately finished my ice cream and threw it on the right bin.

"Thank you so much guys for all your hardwork. We are already done for this project!" P'backaof said. We then gave him a round of applause because he's been really hands-on with this project to the point that every sequence, he is approaching us and giving us directions or tips.

"I hope that everyone who worked in this project for the past three days will be the same faces that I will see once the production of this project starts," and then he looked at me and gave me a wink. "Because I am really proud of you all. Each one of you did a great job and it's a pleasure to be here with you guys. Thank you so much." And then he bowed to us and we returned the favor.

"See you next year for Project: Premise of Love."

We thank every one and took a group picture as a remembrance. Then sadness kicks in when I realized that in one way or another, I cannot participate in this project next year. It's either I will not survive the first week of the year or I'll be on the other side of Earth trying to achieve my dreams.

I approached P'backaof to thank him personally for the experience and learnings.

"Phi," I approached him. "Thank you so much for letting me do this project."

"Certainly, this is not going to be the last for us. I am really looking forward working with you, New because I know we can do wonders together."

I am not really the type of person who do promises because if it is not fulfilled, it's just going to be a disappointment in the end.

The only thing that I can do now is... "I'm hoping to work with you again Phi. I learned some things that I didn't know before. I will cherish forever these three days that I worked with you."

"I'll see you around in MGM," He then gave me a hug and pat at my back. "You'll do wonders, New. You earned a fan here."

Hearing those words really touched my heart. I felt the tears are starting to brawl my eyes so I had to completely wipe it immediately before I start a meltdown.

This is the kind of validation that I always strive to achieve in my life. Knowing that you did a good job with your craft and someone really believed in your talent. Not that I am disregarding Mild and the people around me. It's just that, hearing that validation from someone whom you know has an expertise with the craftmanship that you practice feels really good.

Mild wants us to go to MGM Building because Mook and his brother Mek invited her over to catch up. As a generous friend of hers, I decided to come with her instead of sulking alone in my apartment.

It is evident that I am not in my usual self today who always talks about this and that and Mild noticed it. So, Mild poked me. "Tell me, what is really going on with you? Why are you so quiet?"

"My mind is so occupied right now, Mild. I don't know anymore what to do." I told her in honesty.

"Why? What's that thing that keeps on bothering you? You're too quiet these past two days." She pointed out while putting her phone in her sling bag, an implication that I have her full attention.

"Tay's remaining days, I cannot see them anymore." I told her while my eyes are locked in front of us.

"I-Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Maybe your powers already expired or it is gone." She suggested.

"It's more than that."

"What is it?"

I waited first the stoplight to turn red before revealing to her the thing that bothers me the most these past two days.

"I have roughly sixteen days to live."

"Sixteen days? How come?" She is now as confused as me. I can see it in her eyes.

"I can now see my own body clock and two days ago, I discovered that I have eighteen days to live." I told her in full transparency. "I don't know what happened but the fact that I cannot see Tay's remaining days and eventually saw mine is a clear explanation that it has something to do with what I did when I saved him."

"Wait, are you sure about that? You cannot fully see Tay's remaining days anymore? Maybe it moved somewhere like at his back or somewhere in the south." She is trying to make the conversation seems bearable but I am sure that my powers is no longer working on Tay.

"Trust me, of all the body clock that I saw before it never changes its place. It is always on the person's chest near the heart." I debunked her allegations. "Maybe the price of saving him is my own life which I think is unfair."

"Newwiee, listen to me. If you managed to defy Tay's death before, for sure you can do it again."

"And for what? What will be the payment for it this time? Yours? My parents? The least that I want to happen now is to drag somebody else to my own mess."

I don't know if we already reached the dead end of this conversation but I am just really hoping that I can do something to stop my own demise.

"But I do hope you have a plan, right?" She asked in a worrisome tone. She is trying to pull her self together, holding back her tears.

"We have to narrow down first the possible cause of it," I told her. "Once I told my parents about it, I'll seek immediately a specialist to see if I have some health problems. That's my initial plan."

"And are you planning to tell them about it on the dinner?"

"I will just let Christmas passed by first before telling them." I answered.

"Don't worry, I'll be here for you. Okay? We will get through with this."

I held her hand and smiled, "Thank you. For always being there for me."

"I treat you like my own brother. I will always be there for you," she replied while holding my left hand tightly.

Somehow, I feel so much better now. Knowing that I don't have to hide it to my best friend is such a relief for me. I am really planning on telling her about it but not this soon. But I guess her confrontational skills changes my decision. I can see that she is not okay seeing me not okay.

When we arrived at MGM Building, we immediately went to the studio where MGM artist are practicing their production number if they have programs or any live performances. Mek and Mook are there because they are rehearsing their duet for Sunday.

They are going to sing the OST for My Sotus and on Sunday, MGM will have a special live for My Sotus launch. They are also going to release the trailer worldwide via YouTube.

As we enter the studio, we saw the main casts of My Sotus practicing their dance routine with some backup dancers. Krist Perawat and Singto Prachaya. This is also a powerhouse couple that MGM decided to team up together and magically, their chemistry is overflowing when they released the mock up trailer months ago.

Their tandem garnered a huge number of followings on social media. Singto who is relatively unknown before became and instant celebrity, earning over one million followers in a span of six months. Krist on the other hand is like Tay, he is known for acting in some lakorn series but his followings are not that huge like Tay.

Their duo will be the first pillar of MGM and I guess Off and Gun will be the next one to be introduced.

"Mook, Mek, we're here." Mild exclaimed as the two of us approached them.

"Hi guys, Hi Newwiee." Mook greeted.

"Hello, we meet again." I told her while giving a timid smile. Mek on the other hand reached out his hands which I guess signifies that he wants to shake hands with me.

"Finally, I met the person that Tay is swooning over for years." I guess he is close with Tay too.

Thinking about what he said, it's kind of unbelievable that we already reached at this point. Hearing people talking about how Tay describes me through words. Some of them are quite surprised to see the person he is talking about and some of them are not.

I guess those who are surprised didn't expect that the person is a man because it is not evident on his actions or the way he present himself to like a person of his same sex. In short, they assumed that he is straight because that is his persona on and off the camera.

Same goes with me. I didn't expect that Tay likes me.

Contrary to him, I guess some people is not surprised if I say to them that I am gay. My skin is fair, I am loud person if I am with the right people and my facial expressions plays a huge part on it. I love to roll my eyes, and they say that sometimes I have a resting bitch face. I don't know but I am just really taking care of my skin every night and if that makes me looked like an effeminate then so be it.

"I hope he's not badmouthing me during those years," I tried to crack a joke.

"I can truly say that you exceeded my expectations. I saw your audition video online and he is right. You are that awesome. No wonder he fell in love with you that moment."

"I don't really think love should be the first word to describe his impression of me that day but okay," I replied in full confusion.

"Did the management already offer you a contract? Tay's fans are already shipping the two of you." He is quite a loud mouth but bearable.

"I actually have some other plans next year," which I hope and pray that I will achieve, "so it's quite not possible for me to sign a contract, yet."

"You heard it first with me. Both of you will be a big star in the industry. I am claiming it." He said in full confidence as if he can see the future with his gaze.

"Why is your brother acting like that? I haven't seen him like this before." Mild checked in to Mook trying to understand the behavior that his brother is showing us today.

"Please bear with him, he is just excited to meet New. I guess he can't contain himself after spending literally two years of just imagining the person that his friend is describing to him." Mook explained in full clarity. "You know what brother, you are getting quite annoying. Why don't you practice your rap part first? You are having difficulty with the second stanza and the last thing that I want is to be dragged all over the social media for messing up. Go there and memorize your parts. Go," she is shooing away her own brother which he obeyed because I guess he knows that Twitter can be really harsh.

"Mek is quite something, really." Mild laughed. "Well now that we are here, what is that thing that you want me to hear first hand from you?" Mild asked as we sit on the ground.

"It's final. Together in Paradise franchise is now scrapped and they are going to launch Joss into a new drama. They are currently having a table read for it and I guess the material is promising." Mook said in low voice making sure that no one can hear it aside from us.

"Really?"

"Yes, and according to P'Mae, the writer of the series, Joss specifically asked his manager to reject the offer to play the new love interest of Amira. So, when he turned down the project, the whole season three idea is scrapped and they picked Mae's pitch for the storyline." Mook supported her claim.

"Does that mean..."

"I guess that's what he is trying to explain to you that day but you are just shouting at him like a crazy person," I finished her train of thought before she does. She didn't give Joss a chance to explain his side about the project. She is so pissed at him that day not knowing that Joss probably gave up the project by that time.

I can see that she is regretting her actions that day.

"S-Should I call and apologize to him now?" She asked.

"Girl, he's in the middle of a script reading. Just wait for him to finish and apologize in person." I suggested while side-eying her.

"What?!" we all got shocked when someone shouted. We turned our heads to the bunch of people practicing and the voice came from Krist. It seems like he is annoyed while looking at Singto. When he realized what he did, Krist walked out of the practice leaving Singto and his co-actors stunned.

"What happened?" I asked Mook.

"I don't know. My attention is focused on our conversation and the next thing I know, Krist shouted." Because of what happened, Singto commanded everyone to take a break. One of the co-actors of Krist and Singto went to our direction to pick up his bag. "Gunsmile, what happened?" Mook asked.

"We are just rehearsing the duet part on the number and then the last thing I know, Krist got irritated and shouted. It seems like he is not in the mood ever since this morning." He replied while unlocking his phone.

"They are having this one-on-one silent confrontation ever since the practice started. We don't know what they are talking about but I noticed that Krist is pissed at Singto for some reason." One of the co-actors chipped in.

Singto then walked his way out of the studio which I assume that he is going to follow Krist.

"I heard that Singto accepted a role for another series. He's going to be partnered with another guy if I am not mistaken." Our circle now has become a bunch of gossips. One actor is barging in every second.

"Are you talking about the guy who is flirting with Singto on Instagram? What is his name again?" Mon, a co-actor asked.

"Yes, Pleum if I am not mistaken. He is very vocal about his admiration for Singto which I cannot blame him, Singto is such an eye candy," Jane replied.

Not to assume things but does that mean that Krist got angry because Singto is being partnered with someone who is open about having a crush on Singto?

When I realized what could be the possible reason of Krist's outburst, I immediately gasp internally.

"I guess it is too soon for Singto to play another series. I heard that they casted him for a support role which career wise is not a good idea if he's going to be launched as a main lead in a series. I guess that's why Krist is not okay with the idea. Maybe he wants Singto's full commitment to their project and yet here we are, Singto accepted a support role." Fluke explained. Judging his looks, he looks like a calm and observant person. Hearing his explanation makes sense to me as well.

"I am so hungry already, come on let's have a lunch guys," Gunsmile said. His co-actors then agreed and followed him outside. Mook, Mild and I are left here puzzled about what just happened.

Just like what I suggested to her, Mild and I decided to wait for Joss to finish with their script reading. It is already six in the evening and Mook's friend told us that they are almost finished with the run through.

One by one, the actors inside the conference room started walking out but there is no sign of Joss. Then, this tall handsome guy wearing a white shirt, black bonnet and black jacket appeared. I poked Mild who is busy with her phone and when she saw that Joss is approaching our direction, she stood up so that Joss can see her.

I took a deep breath before following her lead. I gave him a smile and a face that says yeah, we're doing this.

"New, Mild what are you doing here?"

"Well, first of all I just want to congratulate you for your new series." I started the talking first.

"Thank you," he replied with that deep resounding voice.

"Second, Mild is here to tell you something." I then pushed her timidly as if I am giving the floor to her.

Mild cleared her throat first. "I just want to say that I'm sorry if I shouted at you that day. I didn't know, well I didn't give you a chance to explain so I misunderstood things."

This encounter alone is already awkward considering that they have something from the past but I cannot deny the fact that they still have this chemistry that they had before. It's crazy.

"It's okay. I understand why you are fuming that day. But I assume you already know about the truth?"

"Yes, Mook told me about it. Again, I am sorry." Even though she is facing him and I cannot see her face, I know that she is quite blushing at this point. I just rolled my eyes waiting for Joss to respond.

"I am going to accept your apology if you agree to have dinner with me."

My eyes, and probably Mild's too, widened when I heard what Joss just said. He is asking her for dinner. Is this going to be a date?

"You're asking me out?" Wow, she is quite straightforward on that one huh.

"Yeah, or sort of." He answered while scratching the back of his head. What the hell is happening? Why are they acting like this?

I walked myself out of this very awkward conversation and decided to wait for Mild outside the office. I decided to open my Twitter account to catch up with what is happening.

I am browsing through my timeline when I saw a tweet that caught my attention.

[@ttwnaeshetics tweeted: Tay was kidnapped?] 29 replies | 1.2K likes | 2.0K retweets.

I swear to heavens, my hand is shaking trying to click the tweet and see the replies underneath it to see what is going on right now.


	17. Reckoning

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I love reading your comments guys. Feel free to comment your reactions, feelings or opinion about this chapter. I read a comment last chapter and he is angry. 

I loved that.

Keep 'em coming.

xoxo lovelots and muwah!

Enjoy~

CHAPTER 16

[@ttwnaeshetics tweeted: Tay was kidnapped?] 29 replies | 1.2K likes | 2.0K retweets

I can feel my hands starting to shake because of what I just read. I am trying to press the tweet to see the interactions and comment underneath it.

"New?"

Have you watched a horror movie where the lead character seemingly sees a dead person in front of him? That is how I can describe my expression when I saw him. I immediately run towards Tay and hugged him tightly.

"Are you okay?" I can recognize his concern with the tone of his voice.

"I-I saw a tweet online and I thought something happened to you," I explained.

"Calm down, nothing happened to me okay? I just finished shooting for School Troopers and I immediately went out to see you only to find you here trembling. What were you talking about anyway?"

I showed him my phone and we read the thread that I am trying to open earlier.

[@ttwnaeshetics tweeted: Tay was kidnapped?] 32 replies | 1.8K likes | 2.2K retweets

[@hello_cutienina replied to @ttawanesthetics: I never heard that story before. Can somebody confirm that?] 4 replies | 60 likes | 82 retweets

[@ttwnaesthetics replied to @hello_cutienina: Same. I already watched every interview of Tay and I don't remember him saying that narrative.] 1 reply | 45 likes | 57 retweets

[@santaybaby replied to @ttwnaesthetics and @hello_cutienina: What is happening?] 1 reply | 1 like | 3 retweets

[@hello_cutienina replied to @santaybaby and @ttwnaesthetics: They already released the teaser for Tay's life story. Based on the video, Tay was kidnapped when he was a kid.] 1 reply | 5 likes | 12 retweets

[@whatdawhale_tawan replied to @hello_cutienina and @ttwnaesthetics: Maybe they added that part for some drama. You know how television do drama for views.] 1 reply | 21 likes | 78 retweets

[@ttwnaesthetics replied to @whatdawhale_tawan and @hellocutienina: Well, they are telling a real person's life story here. They cannot modify things like that specially Tay is a celebrity. This could escalate real quick.] 5 replies | 83 likes | 219 retweets

"I thought you were kidnapped," I told him as an explanation to why I acted like that.

Tay asked me to look for the trailer that they were talking about and moments later, I found it when someone retweeted it on my timeline. Channel 7 will broadcast the said program on Sunday at 8PM. The real shocker for me is when I realized that the production team who handled the said episode is the same team who produced Together in Paradise Season 2.

There will be three actors who will play Tay's life. First is a child actor, his college life and then the present which Tay played.

"No, I was not kidnapped when I was a kid. I explained it to the scriptwriter vividly about what happened." Tay is obviously not happy with what we just saw.

"I thought that this is already a scrap project since we filmed this like months ago and we were told that it will be played before the season premiere of Together in Paradise Season 2." P'Mark explained who I didn't noticed is watching the same video with us. "That's why when I was given a heads up about it earlier this morning, I immediately told the management so that we can promote it on School Troopers which will air on Sunday morning."

"Can we cancel it last minute?" Tay asked. Is it the interpretation of his life story that bad that he wants to cancel the airing of it?

"I will try to talk to them." P'Mark then left us and called someone on his phone.

"Is it that bad?" I asked Tay.

"This is not what I told them during the briefing. I am not really hands-on with this one until it's my turn to shoot my scenes."

"So, you're telling me that you don't know what is going to happen in the episode?"

"Yeah, I only have a copy of the script for my part."

Is it right to blame the production for not keeping in touch with Tay during the whole filming? I mean they are literally reliving his life experiences and they should have at least given him a copy of the whole script, not just his part.

Unless they intentionally want to go off his narrative and interpret his words differently. They deliberately tried to make things controversial or whatsoever.

"Some advertisers already placed their ads on that timeslot so they cannot cancel it anymore." P'Mark said when he finished the call. "I asked them also if we can edit that part out instead but they said that the timeframe is already fixed and it will mess up other programs airtime if they will cut that part."

"I guess I just have to clarify things, again." Tay sighed. "I have low expectations on this one, Phi. I can already sense that there are other things that they changed with the storyline."

"I asked them for the script and they only sent us your part. I can vividly remember I specifically requested for the whole script for the whole episode and I haven't heard anything from them. We became busy with the preparations for Together in Paradise that I totally forgot about it," his manager recalled. "We'll just have to wait until Sunday and by then we'll plan our next step. Prepare an explanation or clarification about it."

"Okay, Phi." Tay agreed.

We already had a discussion about what's going on social media and Mild literally just finished her "conversation" with Joss. She has no idea about what's happening.

"How's the catching up?" I asked sarcastically.

"Nothing much happened. I apologized and he accepted it. I think we're good."

Her eyes are literally twinkling. Mild, I love you but I don't buy that. For sure behind that good is something more. He probably asked her for a dinner or something which I don't really mind because it's her business.

But girl, I already know where this is going.

Of course, when Mild learned what happened on social media, she is understandably pissed as well. P'Mark cannot do something about it because the ad placements are already paid and the trailer is being shared thousands of times already.

"Hey Newwiee, do you want to eat outside with me?" Mild asked.

"I'm down with that idea."

"How about uncle and auntie? Are you not going to join them for a dinner or something now that they are back in Thailand?" She replied.

"Mom texted me earlier that they will probably visit me around ten since they are having a dinner meeting with an investor."

"Oh good. P'Mark, Tay. Do you want to come with us?"

We all looked at P'Mark because he has the final word with this one. "I surely need a good dinner after what happened today. Let's go, I know a place," he said in a jolly manner.

Because P'Mark brought his own car, Tay will go with him, while Mild and I will ride my car. He gave me the directions to the restaurant. It is not that far away from MGM so we will probably arrive there around seven in the evening.

When we arrived, P'Mark told the receptionist about the table for four that he reserved thirty minutes ago. I noticed on the receptionist's face that she is holding back her excitement when she saw Tay. I mean I cannot blame her. But I guess she cannot act her fangirling moment while she is on duty which explains her subtle actions.

I was waiting for Mild to sit beside be but P'Mark told Mild to sit with him. "I know I should not be doing this as his manager but it's already past seven so I guess I can go off about it." P'Mark started. "I really adore seeing the both of you."

"Are you fanboying now, Phi?" Mild asked.

"Yes. I am his manager for two years now and I just recently learned that New is the person that Tay kept mentioning on his interviews. Tay really changed a lot. I remember the first day that I saw Tay talking to you in your apartment. I never saw him looking and paying attention to anyone like that." P'Mark looked at me. "At that very moment, I realized that there is something special to this person. So, I approached you and tried to get you know better."

"Is that the reason why you asked New to audition for MGM, Phi? Because you saw a potential if he will be paired with me?" Tay asked.

"I'm not going to lie, it did cross my mind that if you will have a partner, maybe you can rebuild your image. That is my view as your manager. But as someone who is really close to you, I only want what will makes you happy. That's why I didn't forced myself to convince New that day when I talked to him inside MGM office. While I am having a conversation with him, I realized that no, it is Tay's personal life that we are talking about here. I should not force them to be together just because of my selfish reasons. We're dealing with human feelings. Also, it is New's personal growth is on the line because he is planning on acquiring his masters abroad. So, I just throw the ball on New's court and let him decide about it."

That makes sense. I really thought that he will try to convince me that day to audition but no, he did hold back.

"Are you not afraid of the backlash if Tay will date a guy?" I asked, P'Mark while he is looking at the menu.

"No, I am not. It's funny because I learned it from Tay to not give a fuck about the trolls or bashers. Before, I would literally call them out in my social media account. But Tay told me to just appreciate the people who support him. Not waste my energy on the haters because in the world of showbiz, it is inevitable to not have any detractors." When he already had his orders on his mind, he closed the menu book and called the waiter. "About his career, I think we already hit the rock bottom when I negotiated with them to do a second season for Together in Paradise. I am so afraid that time that he will have no project that I literally have to beg the management to go through with it."

We placed our orders first before P'Mark continued his narrative.

"That's why when Tay's BL project is hanging on the thread, I just let the management take the call. If they will cancel it or not. I don't want to compromise Tay's growth as an actor like what I did in Together in Paradise franchise. If him dating you will cost us some projects, then so be it. We will work with the people who wants to work with him."

"Besides, I am in contract with MGM so even though I don't have a series project, I can still do guesting in some shows. I heard earlier that they are planning to make me as a mainstay for School Troopers since I am not busy nowadays. I am not sure if they already informed P'Mark about that though."

"We are living in a modern world. We should not limit ourself inside a box to fit in. It is much easier to live your life outside the box. Tay can date whoever he wants as long as it doesn't affect him in a bad way. If you are Tay's happiness, then so be it. I would be glad if that's the case."

"You're the best manager, P'Mark. That's it." Mild exclaimed.

"That's true. Usually when I heard the term manager the first thing that comes to my mind is that they are pure business, projects, deals. It is refreshing to encounter someone like you, P'Mark who really values his artists personal interest and values." I seconded.

"That is so old school. Managers are like second parents. They should guide their children instead of making decisions for them. They should always consider what is the best for their artists. Don't be afraid to discuss and learn things as well. If I am going to do things for Tay, then I should be the one who's acting on screen, not him. That's what I learned after the fiasco of negotiating with MGM twelve months ago. We survived the nightmare that I caused when I pushed that series, I will not do that again."

"I could not ask for a better manager than P'Mark. He's been there through my highs and lows. He is not afraid to communicate with me and for that, I really appreciate him more not just as a manager, but as a close friend of mine," Tay said while displaying a smile on his face.

While eating, we talked a lot of things like my background in acting, Mild and I's friendship history and college life. P'Mark asked Mild if she has a plan on doing fulltime with her acting career since she is almost done with her master's degree. She is actually considering it after the three-day immersion with P'backaof's masterpiece. P'Mark told Mild that if she is ready to enter the world of showbiz, just tell him and he is willing to be his handler and manager.

Having this dinner tonight, I am just happy that Tay is here beside me. Thank heaven's that tweet has another context. I thought for a brief moment earlier that something happened to Tay. I don't know if I can handle more stress if ever.

I placed my head on Tay's shoulders while he is swiping on his iPad. He looked at me and our eyes met like I am asking him if I can stay this way for a brief moment. He gave me a look of approval and picked my nose. I just shrug off his action and looked at P'Mark and Mild who is still busy with their conversation about her future in acting.

After our dinner, we thanked P'Mark because he said that this will be his treat to us. Tay will go with him while I'm in charge for Mild's ride.

When I arrived home, I texted my parents asking them about their time of arrival so I can prepare something. They said they are almost done with the meeting and expect them in an hour due to the traffic. I told them that I will prepare something for their dinner which they agreed.

While I am washing the rice grains, I am just thinking about how to tell my parents about my situation. Should I do it now or after Christmas? If I tell them now, we cannot fully enjoy the essence of Christmas because for sure they will just think about it. The only positive thing that I can see by doing such thing is that we can go to a hospital and see if there is something wrong with my health and ask for opinion about it just in case.

If I tell them after Christmas, yes, we will probably enjoy the spirit of holiday but imagine the devastation after. It's like the worst gift that I can give to them.

When I empty my thoughts, I realized that the water from the pot is already crystal clear. I already washed the rice grains thoroughly.

After putting the pot in the rice cooker, I decided to cook steak for them since I have a couple of steak cut beef in the freezer. I can just pan sear it instead of the normal charcoal grill. I don't have time to go downstairs and do it in the pool area where the grills are located. It's too hassle as well to put up a fire.

I marinated the beef first and browsed my phone to see what's going on my Twitter feed.

The netizens are still talking about the teaser and they are having discussion about the authenticity of it after it was revealed that the same production of Together in Paradise season two produced the said episode.

I was just lurking on the thread when a notification popped off. I clicked it and a picture of me and Tay is the content of the said tweet. My head is on Tay's shoulders and it seems like this was taken by someone near out table.

Should I say it already that I am immune to this kind of treatment? People taking pictures of me without my knowledge. I mean I should be because hello, you're with someone who's famous all over Thailand eating dinner with his manager too. If that is not attention seeking moment, I don't know what else could be.

It would be a lie if I say that I am not having a slight uncomfortable feeling whenever I saw a picture of me taken without my knowledge. So, to ease that feeling, I'm just going to post the same picture of us, but this time I captured it.

I opened my Instagram application and went to my camera roll to choose the picture that I will be posting. I chose a picture of me and Tay while his attention is focused on his iPad.

Popular opinion, probably: Tay Tawan has a facial feature that whatever angle a picture is taken, he will still look fine.

This time, I decided to do it differently. I posted the picture on my feed instead of posting it on my story.

@newwiee_thitipoom Why so serious?

I just have to give it a good two minutes before the internet go crazy about it. I am calling it already.

SUNDAY

It's the day of reckoning.

Just kidding. It's Sunday morning and tonight will be the airing of Tay's life story on Channel 7. Two days from now is already Christmas day and yes, I haven't told my parents yet about my condition. We just ate dinner last Wednesday and talked about the things that happened on our day.

I mentioned to them about the fact that I saw them having a dinner with Tay that night and I agreed on his request; having a dinner with him and my family. They said that we can schedule it after Christmas since Tay will go to Chiang Mai to celebrate Christmas eve with his family.

It's nine in the morning and School Troopers started airing. Tay is introduced as their special trooper for the episode and they are inside MGM today unlike the usual school or campus. They prepared some games today and invited students that will display their skills and talent.

I noticed while watching that Tay is so energetic and laughs uncontrollably whenever something funny happened. He is like very chaotic but in a sense that it is not irritating to watch.

Even though he is laughing his ass off, he is still charming and charismatic.

Just like what he did in the opening, he promoted his episode special this evening on Channel 7. He gave the details such as what time and what to expect but I guess the editors were not informed that probably it will be so inaccurate that Tay himself will clarify things later this evening.

I will sleep over tonight at Mild's since we decided to watch the said episode together. She asked me if we can meet in the mall since she will go shopping today for her errands.

We met at the supermarket and went shopping for her necessities.

"Do you want us to watch tonight's special with Tay?" She asked while waiting in line.

"You want Tay to stay at your place tonight?" Not even Joss managed to sleep at her house before. Well, based on what I can recall. I am not sure though about the authenticity of that feat. Maybe he did and Mild didn't tell me about it. I don't know.

"We can stay at your place instead." She delightfully answered. "I mean you have two rooms to begin with."

"Well, not really. He always sleeps in the couch because the other room is just full of my things. I haven't had the courage and motivation to clean that room." I told her.

"Then let's just drop my groceries at home and let's go to your place and clean it. I'll stay on that room tonight and you two can sleep in your room." She giggles as if she is excited about it.

"Are you for real? It will be hard for me to sleep knowing that Tay is beside me. That is not a good idea, Mild." I'm not thinking in advance but I don't know what might happen if Tay and I sleep together in one room.

"Then just don't forget this." She then handed me a pack of condoms. "It's better to be prepared. We don't know what might happen."

"Mild!" I scolded her while she is giggling because my face is starting to turn red.

I immediately returned the condoms in the shelf before someone sees us and took a picture of me holding the said box.

When it's our time to scan the items, Mild said that she forgot to buy some soap. She went to get some while I put the items one by one.

Walking our way out of the supermarket, I guess some people recognized us so they approached our direction.

"Excuse me, P'New. Can we ask for a picture?"

"Oh my God, P'Mild! I am such a huge fan of yours."

Compliments started overflowing which I am not used to hearing such things. I agreed to their request and even though I am carrying two grocery bags, I posted with them in front of the camera and gave a smile.

"You're so cool P'Mild. Your tweets are hilarious," one of the fans said.

"We've been through a lot these past few months and I am just sharing some tweets to brighten up the mood of my fellow fans. We have to endure a lot of things." Mild recalled.

"That's true Phi. There are some fans who already decided to leave the stan twitter because of Tay's controversies. It's just sad."

We are walking so that we will not hinder the way. "If they left them in their own accord then let them be. But there's one thing is for sure; Tay is just an average human like us. He has his ups and downs and it is up to us if we will be there during those moments." Mild expounded.

"That's true Phi. I can feel his love for his fans and now, I think he found his true love." And I was brought up in the conversation. Nice. I am just happy listening to their conversation and here we are.

Those adorable fans bid thanked us for the pictures and bid farewell. Once we arrived in the parking lot, I immediately put the grocery in my car's trunk.

Just like what Mild said, we went to her place first to drop the groceries and then I asked Tay if he is free tonight to have a fun night according to Mild. Unfortunately, he is available and told us that he's with Jumpol and he's going to come with us too.

Great.

Mild brought a bag filled with clothes, snacks and drinks because she knows that I don't have any junk food or beverages.

Arriving at my condo unit, I couldn't believe that Tay and Jumpol are already here. "You two managed to arrive before us. Where were you two earlier?" I asked them while opening the door.

"We were at Tay's earlier because he asked for a lift to bring home the gifts from his fans," Jumpol explained.

"I was actually planning to stay at Off's place tonight but I guess we have some change of plans." He said in a teasing manner.

"Wonderful," I exclaimed sarcastically because I know that Mild is living her moment behind me.

Because I am a good host and houseowner, I didn't prepared food for this unexpected event. I guess we have to use again my newly restocked refrigerator and see what kind of concoction and edibles I can serve them later.

For the sole reason that they managed to arrive before us, Mild and I failed to do a cleaning moment on the other room. So, we decided to sleep altogether in the living area. I'll just lay the bed foams here and now we all can enjoy a very good night sleep like sardines.

Tay helped me with the preparations for our dinner tonight and I don't know why but I feel like we are this married husbands lived in together realness.

Even though we are just cutting some vegetables.

When our food is ready, we called in Mild and Jumpol to join us. They paused the Avengers film that they are watching and sat with us. Stir fry vegetables, kimchi rice and pork chop are the specialties for tonight.

It's time for the drama special about Tay's life story. I am not feeling good about this but for sure the feeling is mutual or even worse for Tay.

The drama started and little Tay is introduced. He is first child of the family. They were introduced as this happy family living in Chiang Mai. Every one in the family is happy to have him, specially his father.

Years gone by so quick that a child Tay is introduced. He already has a younger sister and they are still being portrayed as a family who even though have misunderstandings, they can still work things out at the end of the day.

The first struggle in their family started when Tay's parents begin drifting away from each other. With the economy of Thailand that time and his father being unemployed for a year, monetary problems occurred.

They needed to sell their house in order for them to survive.

I guess that's why Tay's dream is to build a house for his family. Because they had one before but because of financial instability, they had to sell it.

Tay and his sister is stargazing outside when the both of them closed their eyes and wished. Tay told his sister that his dream is to graduate and help his family while his sister's dream is to have a swimming pool because she is envious about her rich classmates. She wants to have a pool so that she can have friends to come over some time.

"You don't need a swimming pool to have friends. If they really want to be friends with you, no matter what your social class is, they will befriend you." Little Tay told his sister. "But having a swimming pool in our backyard is not a bad idea. Don't worry, once I graduated and find a job, I will buy us a house with swimming pool. We don't have to ask father to bring us to the river or beach."

I guess everything is accurate as of the moment because Tay is just focused on the television. He's not bickering or objecting about it.

Then moments later, we heard shouting inside of the house. They are living with Tay's grandparents.

Tay's mom found out about her husband's affair with her boss. She is asking him about it but he is diverting the conversation about her being paranoid and overthinker. He also said to her that she is not the only one who is struggling, he is also struggling about the fact that they have to live in her parent's house.

He felt his dignity is being stepped in because of that situation.

Don't give me that bullshit reasoning.

But I guess Tay's mom is not having drama from her husband and asked again for the last time if he is having an affair with his boss. And finally, he admitted.

Of course, Tay's mom went ballistic about it. Her parents cannot do something about it because they are old so they are just crying while comforting their daughter. Then, Tay's grandfather asked him to leave the house.

Days passed, Tay's father is still not home. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months. Tay's father didn't bother to come back home. Thankfully, his mom's work is sufficient for them to survive but because of the debt that her great husband left, she has to do extra work on the weekends to pay the bills.

One year later, Tay's father finally came home but he looked different. He is wearing corporate attire and expensive watch. Also, he is riding a very expensive car.

That sore loser came back to give her the divorce papers. He is planning on marrying his boss and he can't do that unless their marriage is nullified or voided.

As expected, Tay's mother didn't take it lightly. But at the end, she signed the papers so that they can legally use her surname again.

That douchebag has the nerve to ask Tay and his sister if they want to come with him instead. But both of them declined and said that they will stay with their mom.

It's what he deserves.

And then he left the house with the papers that will seal his freedom, but lost a family that he built.

It was night time and the little Tay is walking his way home. I don't know about this one but I am sure that if this is the controversial kidnapping scene, a kid is not supposed to go home alone especially during night time. That is a big no for me.

And my theory is right, a guy wearing bonnet grabbed Tay and took him forcefully.

In a place where it is properly light and CCTVs are probably in every corner.

Seriously, the writer didn't even give instructions to his director to depict it somewhere in the dark?

Of course, it is understandable that little Tay is screaming and trying to fight for his life. He bit the kidnapper in the arm while he is driving which result into a car crash.

"T-That is not what happened." Tay immediately object while the gap finished. It is pretty understandable if he is not liking what he just saw. Specially if the adaptation is galaxy away from reality.

"What happened then?" I asked him. He just looked at me in confusion. He stood up and went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

"I was not kidnapped. That is not what happened that night. No one forced me to ride a car or I didn't bite him the arm which resulted into a car crash."

Mild, Jumpol and I are just looking at each other trying to see what we can do to calm him down a bit. He is clearly stressed about it.

Of course, it is pretty understandable if Tay didn't finish watching the drama special. But I did. And one more inaccuracy that I spotted is that they used a girl to depict the audition scene which inspired him to pursue acting.

The audacity of them. That is me, stupid. And I am no girl.

Tay calmed down after an hour and while they are discussing about what happened, I decided to take a bath because it's already ten thirty in the evening. I took off my clothes inside the bathroom and I was about to walk my way to the shower area when I noticed something in the mirror.

My heart is pounding really hard. I thought seeing my own life span is already a shocker but I was wrong.

00:00:09:01: 40:13

Zero years, zero months, nine days, one hour, forty minutes and thirteen seconds.

Five days ago, it was eighteen days. But now, I have nine days left.

Why did I lose four days instantly?


	18. Merry Christmas

AUTHOR'S NOTE: 

Now I understand how you feel guys. This is stressing me out too. 

Enjoy~

CHAPTER 17

It's the day before Christmas. Even though majority of the people here in Thailand are Buddhist, they already embraced the culture of celebrating this event every twenty fifth of December. The feeling of excitement and joy when receiving a gift as soon as the clock strikes at twelve midnight is so priceless.

I would trade anything for me to experience that feeling again. Because this year, I'll be celebrating Christmas a little differently. I cannot feel the spirit anymore. I feel defeated, emotional, numb and angry.

Just like that, four days has been scrapped out. I have eight days, fifteen hours, thirty-four minutes and twelve seconds remaining.

Out sleep over didn't happen because Jumpol decided to take home Tay since he is still not having it.

When I went out of the bathroom, I can feel the grim aura of Tay and I guess he's really mad about that one.

None of them knows what I saw last night. Even my best friend whom I trust a lot, I cannot have the courage to tell her what happened because I don't want to ruin her Christmas.

It's already seven in the morning and sunny outside but my room is filled with darkness. I don't have the energy to open the curtains. I feel so weak that I might fall if I try to stand up. I am awake since last night because I cannot simply go to sleep.

Should I tell my parents, or should I not? That's what my mind is going through while staring at the ceiling of my room.

This is the first time in years that I'll be celebrating Christmas with them and all I have as a gift for them is telling my impending demise. I cannot go out last minute to buy anything because I am so preoccupied.

As soon as I recalled the image that I saw last night, I cannot help but to shed tears.

This is the first time that I don't know what to do.

If I managed to lost four days in a snap like that, how sure am I that I would not lost another four days or five any moment?

I didn't realize that I fell asleep while in that position. I woke up when I heard my phone ringing. When I recognized who's calling, I immediately answered it.

"Yes, mom."

"Did you just wake up? It's already three in the afternoon, honey." I guess she recognized my voice is still hoarse. "Well, we are on our way to your apartment and we'll have some last-minute shopping. Are you already out of your bed?"

"Mom, do we have to?" I asked because I have no energy and interest of wandering around the mall trying to look for gifts or whatsoever.

"Have you already bought your presents for us?" She asked in a teasing way.

I didn't speak for quite some time because I don't know if I should tell them about it or not. Time is not on my side and any moment could be my last.

"I-I haven't, mom." I replied honestly.

"Well, we already have our gift for you, Newwiee. I don't know if you will like it but I guess this is the right time for us to give it to you." Dad exclaimed, I guess he is the one driving the car since their drivers are on holiday break until new year. "We'll just do grocery shopping for the food that I'll prepare later. You sure, you don't want to come?"

I guess I have no other choice but to give them a different gift instead of the one that I am contemplating about.

"I'll get ready then. See you guys," I replied before ending the call.

I took a quick shower and avoided looking at the mirror because I don't want to ruin more my day. When I am fully clothed, I tried to practice my smile and mannerisms because I don't really have the motivation to be jolly at this moment.

I am so lost.

Thirty minutes later, my parents arrived and they gave me a tight hug. Tonight, we'll celebrate Christmas Eve in our house for the first time in three years.

"Are you sleeping all day?" My mom asked. We are now inside my dad's car.

"Yes, mom. Mild, Jumpol and Tay slept over last night and I slept like six in the morning already." I replied in full lies.

Last night, our sleep over didn't happen because we decided to cancel it since Tay is not having it. It is pretty obvious that he is affected with that drama special and it is pretty understandable. We didn't forced Tay to talk about it and just ended the night.

"Ohhh, you had an all-boys plus Mild fun night?"

"It's a riot," I tried to bring my energy up.

"What Christmas gift do you want, Newwiee?" My dad asked.

I am just looking outside our car as if I am thinking of an answer to that question. Little did they know, I already have something on my mind since Tuesday evening.

I just want to live.

I know there's not enough money that can buy one's life but as of this moment, I am willing to go in debt just to extend my life. There are so many things that I want to accomplish. It's unfair because I know that this is not yet my time. I haven't achieved any of my dreams yet.

Lately, I changed a lot from my goals in life. Before, I want to pursue theatre. But working with P'backaof and spending three days with the whole team made me want to pursue acting in the television instead.

I made a statement for myself that I am the person who doesn't believe in love. But when Tay crashed in my life, he made me change my mind. No, actually he didn't just change my mind. He changed me as a person. My life before is so boring and dull. He is the reason why I am now taking risks which the old Newwiee wouldn't do.

I am a very reserved person that I am okay with being with Mild alone. But with what happened yesterday made me realize that it will not hurt to meet new people. Somehow, it feels good to hear them saying that you inspire or motivate them to never give up on their dreams.

Those little things that we do, might means a lot for other people.

"Celebrating this year's holidays with you, mom and dad is already enough for me." I voiced out.

I guess they felt the sincerity with my words but little did they know, there's an underlying message that I cannot say to them.

This could be my last Christmas celebration with my family.

I felt tears are starting to brawl again so I wiped it out before they noticed.

Fifteen minutes later, we arrived at the mall. Just like I projected, huge crowd of people welcomed us. Mom and Dad went to the supermarket while I'm here walking alone trying to come up with gifts for the both of them.

I don't want to be dramatic anymore so I guess I'll just try to focus my attention on the shops, rather than looking at some people doing shopping with their family.

While stalling the shops, some people recognized me.

"P'New?" One of the girls asked.

"Yes?"

"Oh my, it is really you. We're a huge fan of yours. Merry Christmas." One of them said.

"Merry Christmas to you guys as well," and I displayed a smile.

"Can we have a group photo? We don't want to take more much of your time." How considerate for them.

I just hope that fate will do the same exact thing to me.

"Sure, let me take the picture." I presented so that we can have a selfie altogether. I excused myself from the store crew and we went outside to take a group picture.

"Thank you so much P'New. We hope you'll have a great holiday."

"Yes Phi!"

"Also, I wish to see you and P'Tay in a series together because you really look great as a couple." And they all giggled. I don't know how to respond to that though. My mind went blank for seconds before coming up with a reply.

"Well, I hope our Christmas wishes come true." I said in full hope. "Happy holidays to you guys." And they all walk their way out in full joy.

Had I've been the same New that I was before this whole Tay situation exploded, no one will bother to ask for my picture or say their wishes in front of me. I would have been walking right now in every shop trying to find a gift for Mild and won't interact with anyone at all.

A lot happened in a span of one month and it started when I associated myself to Tay. I am not blaming him for everything that is happening in my life because it's unfair to him.

I should be blaming myself because I associated myself to him but I couldn't. I just can't. I never regretted my decision on helping Tay. Even if I know this would happen in the end, I will still save Tay over and over again. I know it sounds crazy but I know everything happened for a reason.

If destiny led you to it, it will lead you through it.

After stalling for thirty minutes, I found nothing. My parents literally have everything and I can't think of something to give them.

Mom texted me that they are already done with shopping and they are looking for me. I met them in front of the supermarket emptyhanded.

"Did you find anything?" Dad asked me while pushing the cart. I was about to say that I didn't when we passed by a shop.

"I didn't but I already found my gift for you mom, dad." I replied.

"What is it?" They followed the direction that I am looking at. It is a photo studio.

Walking inside, there are no customers as of the moment which is pretty surprising. "We haven't had a family picture since I graduated high school. Dad cannot attend my graduation in college, so now I want us to have one."

"Honey," I felt my mom is touched with what I just said. Because of my dad's work abroad, he failed to come home for my graduation and mom is the only one who's there to award me my medal.

"Have you told us about this earlier, I should have dressed properly." My dad said while looking himself in front of the mirror.

This could be the last picture that the three of us can have and I want to grab this opportunity to have it. If ever things will be done according to what's about to happen, then I want them to remember this moment forever. That once, I was the happiest person in the world because I managed to have a complete family picture that I always desire.

I asked them to frame it and send it to our home address. They said it will take 7-14 days to deliver. The photographer prepared us and I am trying my best to hold back the tears because I don't want to break down in front of the camera. I projected a smile that I want my parents to remember forever. A smile that will remind them how genuine my happiness is during this moment that I am sharing with them.

After the photoshoot, we choose a picture that will be used and framed. They informed us again about the process and asked us to double check the address where they can deliver it.

"My gift will be delivered in two weeks. I hope you'll like it."

"Of course, we will. I wish we can bring it to the US but I am not sure since it is fragile." Mom said.

"Don't worry, I gave them my e-mail address, they sent me the copy of the pictures since I don't have a flash drive with me. You can have it framed there, mom." I suggested.

While walking our way to the parking area, I felt my phone vibrated. I checked who is calling and it is P'Mark.

"Hello, P'Mark?"

"Hi, New." He greeted. "Are you busy?"

"No, not really. I'm with my parents and we're on our way back to the car."

"Okay, I'll make this quick. Tay will have a gig on the last day of the year. The producers are asking if you are available on the 31st of December to a year-ender with Tay at Siam Paragon."

"Year ender? Like a new year countdown, Phi?"

"Yes. They want you to have a special appearance at least if you cannot fully commit to the two-hour program. The even will last from 11PM up until 1AM of January 1st."

"I- I am not sure, Phi. I don't even know where will I celebrate New Year's Eve." I said.

"That's okay. You don't have to decide yet. Enjoy your holidays first and let's catch up in two or three days."

"Okay, Phi. Thank you and Happy Holidays."

"Happy Holidays to you and your family too. Bye," and he ended the call.

"Who's that?" My mom asked.

"It's Tay's manager, P'Mark. He is asking me if I am available on the 31st of December to do a New Year's Eve countdown with him in Siam Paragon."

"And you turned down the offer?" My dad followed after putting all the items in the car trunk.

I checked my phone calendar and I realized that my remaining days will be until New Year's Day morning at around 1 AM. D-Does that mean that mean that if I accepted the offer, my last moments will happen during the event?

"Let's go home first mom, dad. I feel tacky already. I want to take a shower again," I excused myself.

I think I already know what is my next step. I have to see first my remaining days and compare it to my theory. After a fifteen-minute drive, we arrived home. I carried the groceries inside and went straight to my room. I took off my clothes and looked in front of the mirror.

00:00:08:07: 05:24

8 days, 7 hours, 5 minutes and 24 seconds.

I opened my phone and started counting on the calendar. When I finished counting days, I realized that my fate will be determined on the 2nd of January at around 1 AM. So, it has nothing to do with Tay or the event.

When I thought I already have an idea about what's going to happen, and boy I was wrong. I just decided to take a shower to ease my feeling.

I am picking my clothes when I suddenly felt my head suddenly ache. It must be the lack of sleep. Shrugging it off, I went out of room and went downstairs to help them with the preparations.

"So, what's your plan for New Year mom?" I asked her while walking myself in the kitchen area.

"Definitely we will be here in Bangkok because your dad made sure that there are no meetings or whatsoever until the 3rd of January." She said while peeling a banana.

"That's right. Aside from talking about business ventures we also closed a special deal. Do you remember our family doctor before?" My dad challenged my memory.

"I can barely remember his face, it's been years. Why dad?"

"He's already the director of the largest public hospital in Chiang Mai. We've been talking about supporting the hospital specially with the modernization of their equipment, facilities, everything. But he rejected the offer because it's too much and they already receiving very good support from the local government."

"So, instead of investing in the hospital itself, we decided to support the orphanage that his team is visiting every week. While your dad is busy with the business partners, I am spending my time with the kids in the orphanage every day."

Hearing those words coming from my own mother breaks my heart. I can't imagine the pain that she will feel if that day will come.

"That's why for the whole duration of our break, you and I will spend more time together, honey." She said while pinching my cheeks, leaving the aroma of the banana in my face.

"Mom, your hands smell bananas. I just had moisturizer on my face." I told her as if I am disgusted, but deep inside of me, I just don't want to burst out. "But seriously mom, dad. Why didn't you plan on having another kid?"

"Newwiee, you being here with us is already a miracle. Your mom had a difficult with conceiving a child before and when we learned that after so many years of being married, a blessing is about to come, I really invested my time and effort to take care of your mom while she is pregnant."

"Which I didn't asked him to do in the first place because I can take care of myself. Had he focused more on the company during those times, we would not suffer a big loss because of his business partner who scammed us for years." She claimed.

"Love, I would trade every money that I have just to make sure that no complications will happen in those nine months that you are bearing our Newwiee. You two are my greatest treasure. And look where we are right now, I built an empire and a family." The New before will find it cheesy to hear those words but this time, it hits differently.

"Whatever." My mom focused her attention to me. "I am glad that the heaven gave New to us. You are already enough for me and you will always be my miracle baby." She said while kissing me on the cheeks.

When she did that, the tears that I am trying to hold back gave in. It run through my cheeks and I just can't help but to hug her tightly.

"Why are you crying, honey? Is there something wrong?" She asked.

Yes, mom. I am not okay. "No, mom. It's just so nice to be with you and dad again."

Dad then stopped chopping the garlic and onions and hugged us. His hands are smelly but I don't care. "Don't worry, you'll be spending more time with us soon."

I just nodded. "Okay."

I am not really into carb food but since it is Christmas, I have to skip that belief for tonight. They are preparing carbonara, cordon bleu, chicken teriyaki, macaroni salad, ham with special glaze and paella. I don't know if we can consume all of these but if not, then I guess we have enough food until New Year.

It's almost midnight and the kitchen smells good because of the mixture of aroma coming from the chicken teriyaki, carbonara and cordon bleu. The only problem is that it is extremely hot here because two stoves are currently on and we are boiling pasta and at the same time cooking paella.

I decided to go to the living room since I already finished slicing the ingredients for the salad. I opened my Twitter account and as expected, notifications are insane. The ladies whom I took pictures with posted the photo on Twitter and they mentioned me being so welcoming and warm to them even though they disturbed me. But the tweet that caught my attention is when some netizens noticed that I don't look well.

[@userttwn_ replied to @tarnshie_th: Is it just me or P'New looks tired or something. His eyes, there's something wrong with it.] 3 replies | 29 likes | 15 retweets

[@whatdawhale_tawan replied to @userttwn_ and @tarnshie_th: I also noticed it. Also, he is smiling but that's not the usual smile that he is displaying.] 1 reply | 54 likes | 32 retweets

[@tarnshie_th replied to @whatdawhale_tawan and @userttwn_: We were living at that moment so we didn't notice it until you pointed it out right now. You're right. He's smile is quite awkward or something.] 1 reply | 10 likes | 7 retweets

[@userttwn_ replied to @tarnshie_th and @whatdawhale_tawan: How's the conversation went with him though?] 1 reply | 5 likes | 3 retweets

[@tarnshie_th replied to @userttwn_ and @whatdawhale_tawan: The conversation went well. We didn't clock anything when he is speaking to us. Maybe he's just stressed about last minute shopping or something. We literally saw him looking for something and he stopped and went outside just to talk to us.] 1 replies | 8 likes | 11 retweets

[@mmmtay replied to @tarnshie_th , @userttwn_ and @whatdawhale_tawan: I know someone who can help us with this one. If you really want to know if there's something wrong, we can ask my friend who do tarot readings.] 7 replies | 19 likes | 24 retweets

Wait what? Tarot readings? Are they insane? Someone will do a reading about my current state? I feel my stomach is turning upside down because of what I just read. My grandmother used to do such things and she was never wrong about her readings.

If that's the case, then that person will know what's wrong about me in no time.

I felt my hands are getting colder. It is starting to sweat. I decided to grab a glass of water to calm myself.

"Are you okay, honey?" My mom asked me. I guess he noticed that my hands are shaking while placing the glass of water at the table.

"Yes, mom. Nothing to worry about. Dad's cooking makes me hungry." I excused.

"You're trembling," he noticed it too. "Eat this first. The sauce is ready but the noodles will take around 8 to 10 minutes." Then dad handed me a piece of banana.

"T-Thanks, dad." I grabbed it and peeled it off so I can take a bite. I am just walking my way back to the sofa where I left my phone as I try to swallow the banana that I am chewing.

My eyes are focused on my screen because I am contemplating whether to take a look on that thread and see what happens next or just ignore it.

Curiosity kills the cat.

And I am that cat.

I opened my Twitter account and went back to thread that I am previously reading to see what happened next.

[@mmmtay replied to @tarnshie_th , @userttwn_ and @whatdawhale_tawan: I've been a silent follower of @nammthon7 and he's doing readings on celebrities. He is just lowkey but lately he's doing it more frequently because he's interested with the happenings between T/ay and N/ew.] 7 replies | 19 likes | 41 retweets

He tried to de-tag me on his tweet so that I cannot read it but little did he know, I am staring directly unto his tweet at this very moment.

[@tarnshie_th replied to @mmmtay: I've seen his readings before and not gonna lie, it is pretty accurate because he mentioned before that Tay's project will be postponed and here we are, it is indeed postponed.] 3 replies | 25 likes | 13 retweets

[@mmmtay replied to @tarnshie_th: he's doing some readings now. Go check it out if you are curious. He might delete some of his tweets later.]

As soon as I read what he said, I immediately went to @nammthon7's profile to see what is happening. So far, he has 3,013 followers and I guess he is trying to avoid being exposed because he is using a cartoon character or something.

According to his past tweets, he is using the person's aura to know what is going on. His cards then determine what's happening on that person's life at the moment.

Even though my grandmother used to do this before, I already forgot what is the process or how she is doing it.

[@nammthon7 tweeted: Tay will be very busy this week. He will be hosting a program on the last day of the year and depending on his collaborator, it could be very eventful night for everyone.] 10 replies | 109 likes | 76 retweets

[@nammthon7 tweeted: His aura is kinda dark last night. He's angry.] 14 replies | 202 likes | 127 retweets

[@nammthon7 tweeted: There is a very big decision that he has to make but something is hindering him. It could be a person or the timing is not yet right.] 19 replies | 30 likes | 214 retweets.

He is doing readings because aside from his tweets, he is also showing three cards that I am familiar with because I already saw those images before.

This user knows what happened last night and he also managed to learn about the event that Tay will be guesting on New Year's Eve.

This is scaring the shit out of me.

I saw a prompt on my phone that says about him tweeting something. I went back to his timeline to see it.

[@nammthon7 tweeted: He is not feeling well. There are things that kept bothering him for the past few days. He needs to make a decision that could potentially change his life forever.] 7 replies | 74 likes | 53 retweets

My heart starts pounding really fast because I am scared of what I just read. My mind is all over the places that I didn't noticed mom calling me. I snapped back in reality when she poked my shoulders.

"Honey, the table is ready. It's almost midnight. Let's eat," she invited.

"O-Okay, mom." I replied while trying to avoid eye contact with her.

I sat on the other side of the table so that I will be in front of mom. Dad is bringing the carbonara to the table followed by the paella that he decorated with different kind of herbs.

"Merry Christmas, Newwiee. Merry Christmas, love." My mom greeted as soon as the clock strikes at twelve.

"Merry Christmas, my love. Merry Christmas, New." My dad replied.

"Merry Christmas, mom and dad." I said while trying to smile.

"While your mom is serving the food, I think it's time for us to reveal our Christmas gift to you." While mom is putting some carbonara on my plate, dad on the other hand went to his suitcase and pulled out a brown envelop.

"Your dad is hiding this since last week and he is really excited for you to see it." My mom commented while placing some ham and sliced chicken on my plate.

"Before we fly back here in Thailand, we already worked on this one," dad started off. "We went to New York first to take care of this one and last week I received a fax mail from the admission office."

He kneeled down and gave me the brown envelop that he is holding. I grabbed it and pulled out a piece of white paper inside of it.

It says The Julliard School.

"We submitted an application on your behalf and according to that letter..."

"They are requesting a personal appearance for the final interview and admission confirmation." I said.

"I hope you like it," my mom hugged me while my eyes are focused on the piece of paper that I've been dreaming of having since college.

"Remember what I told you when we were in the car, son? I regretted my decision of not supporting your passion. That's why we did this. Because I know this is what you've been dreaming of ever since." With the things that is happening, I should be happy right now but I couldn't.

"We can't wait to see you hone your skills and develop your potential even better," mom seconded.

"You can live on your own in New York. We will look for an apartment or unit of your choice. This time around, we will not hesitate to give every once of support that you will be needing."

"Because your dad and I love you so much and we only want your happiness."

"Are you ready to fly with us next year?" N-Next year?

"Don't worry we can talk about it with Tay during the dinner." D-Dinner with Tay?

"Mom, Dad."

Then suddenly, my phone rang. I excused myself to see who is calling and it is Mild. Then my notifications started blowing up again.

"Honey, is there something wrong?" I cannot think straight because there is so much going on. When I turned around at them, I cannot see them clearly. They are blurry.

"Son, Newwiee. Are you okay?"

"Mom, Dad."

"Get him some water." There is this dominant sound that is ringing on my ears I am trying walk myself back in the dining area.

Even though my vision is blurry, I can see my mom panicking while pouring water in a glass.

"I-I'm okay dad." I said before I totally lose consciousness.


	19. Childhood Nickname

Author's Note: As early as now, I want to say sorry for the typographical errors.

My goodness, HAHAHAHAHA. 

Lovelots~

CHAPTER 18

"What's the diagnosis, doctor?"

"I hate to break this news to you but he is not feeling well." 

"W-What do you mean?" My eyes are closed but I can hear everything inside the room. I tried to focus on the conversation that my ears are receiving.

"We need to perform a surgery before it's too late. There is a blood clot inside of his brain and if we cannot remove it as soon as possible, it could be fatal." B-Blood clot? Is that the reason why I lost my consciousness? B-But why all of a sudden?

"Please doctor, do everything that you can do for our son. We don't care how much it will cost just save him, please!" The woman is screaming at the top of her lungs. 

"If the surgery will be postponed, what will happen to him?" another voice entered the conversation.

"H-He has less than a week to live." The doctor said in low tone.

With what I am hearing, I tried to opened my eyes to see where the conversation is coming. A white ceiling welcomed me. I looked beside me and it is Mild.

"N-Newwiee? You're awake. Wait let me call auntie and uncle." 

She went out of the room. I looked in front of me and the voices that I heard is coming from the television. She is watching a lakorn drama and coincidentally, the protagonist is laying down in bed with apparatus supporting his breathing.

I almost thought they were talking about me.

Moments later, Mild and my parents walked back inside of my room. 

"Honey, are you okay?" My mom checked me out.

"Do you feel anything?" Dad seconded.

"I'm fine." I told them in a very weak voice. "What happened?" I mean I know that I passed out but I want to make sure what is the diagnosis all about.

"The doctor said that you were under a lot of stress and over fatigue which is why you lost consciousness," mom answered while holding my hand.

"We thought you are already in coma because it's been days since you are not waking up. We were talking to the doctor earlier if they diagnosed anything but thankfully, you're healthy."

"D-Days?" 

"It's already 27th of December, Newwiee." What? I've been sleeping for two days?

"They said it is normal for someone's body to shut down specially if they undergone stress and fatigue. Your vital signs are good so they said there's nothing to worry about. We were just waiting for you to wake up." Mom explained.

"They ran different kind of tests to you while you were sleeping because your mom requested. Though, it is not necessary, she wants to make sure that everything is okay. Thankfully, they found nothing." So, I have no illness or whatsoever? I mean this is not how I planned things but I guess they already did me a favor. 

If my fate will not be determined by an illness, then a fortuitous event will. An event that none of us expected will happen. I looked around the room and here are flowers everywhere, "What is this?" I asked them.

"Tay's fans learned about what happened to you, so they sent these. You trended again on Twitter at number 1 spot. Everyone is talking about what happened to you more than Christmas." She teased.

"Did Tay vis-"

"Yes, he did. He was here the whole day two days ago. He's constantly visiting you ever since. I guess he'll be here soon." Mild cut me off before I finished the question. I looked at the clock and it is already seven in the morning.

"Overfatigue and stress is the doctor's diagnosis to you, Newwiee. Are you okay? Is there something that you want us to talk about?" I never seen Dad being like this before. Well, we never really had the chance to bond that much when they are still based here in Thailand. It's always me and mom.

Mild and I stared at each other. I don't know if it is necessary to tell them about it because I can't. I just can't. 

"I'm fine. It's just that I'm not having enough sleep these past few days and everything that happened on social media, with me being put on a spotlight whatsoever, it's new to me. I didn't expect things to escalate that quick." I gave them a smile and a thumbs up.

My parents left the room to pick up some things. Mild then nagged me.

"Hey, are you sure you're not telling them about your life span?" She asked me.

"You heard them, right? I have no illness whatsoever based on the doctor's observation. Meaning, it's the same case like Tay. We can still do something about it," I replied.

"When I heard what happened to you, I immediately went here because I thought something bad already happened. I am ready to tell them everything had I not heard the doctor said that you are stable."

"You called me on last Christmas Eve, right? What was that for?" I asked her.

"Duh! Obviously to greet you Merry Christmas." She said in full sassy attitude.

"But my notifications start popping up at the same time. I thought something happened again on social media."

"Is that the reason why you passed out? New, your notifications blew up because people are tagging you and requesting you to be Tay's guest on New Year's Eve countdown. The event organizer released a poster since P'Mark already confirmed Tay's participation on the said event. They are asking who the netizens want to see with Tay and I guess people started tagging you." She narrated.

"Do you know something about that tarot reader?" 

"Yes, some admins shared their tweets to our group chat and we had a conversation about it. He already deactivated his account. Some of our admins talked to him privately via dm and they asked if he can stop doing such things because it is quite inappropriate to do so." I mean he can do readings and stuff but just don't make it public. I know it is your twitter and it's your choice to do so, but for me it is inappropriate. I mean when you have a client, you don't broadcast to everyone what your reading is, right? I never saw my grandmother do that before.

"Did I miss a lot of happenings during those two days that I've been sleeping?" I asked her out of curiosity.

"Not really. Tay will be very busy this week though because he is booked. If I am not mistaken, his schedule for today is a guesting on a talk show with P'Toey. I guess they'll talk about his journey this year and of course, the infamous life story that aired last Sunday."

"Did he already release a statement about that?"

"Not yet. And according to P'Mark he's going to clarify some things later that's why they will have the interview live. P'Toey and Tay are very close to each other that he agreed to do the show live instead of the usual taped." It seems like she prepared her answers because she knows I'll be bombarding her some questions once I woke up. 

She is a true friend of mine.

Because of what happened, there are some food left and that is what I'm going to eat today. The doctor didn't advise me to limit my food intake or whatsoever but he clearly emphasize the importance of avoiding stress. 

I already told Mild about losing four days in one day and that bothered me a lot. She said that we will talk about that later when my parents are not around.

We are enjoying the "leftovers" when someone entered the room. It's Tay. 

"Good Morning," he greeted exposing his captivating smile.

"Good Morning." I replied after swallowing a spoonful of rice and cordon bleu. He greeted my parents too who's been watching Mild and I devouring everything that they brought.

"How are you feeling?" He asked while sitting in front of me.

"I'm feeling good. I already gain my strength after a couple of hours. The doctor said that I can be discharged within this afternoon."

"That's good to hear. I am really worried when Mild called and told me what happened." He grabbed my hands and I can feel his cold palm touching mine. I took a glimpse on my parents and they are just smiling while looking at us. 

"Don't worry, everything is fine now. There's nothing to worry about." I assured him. "Why are you here though? Mild told me that you have a live interview later. You should be at the studio by this time."

"I just want to make sure that you're doing fine. I thought I would never see that smile ever again," he said while pinching my cheeks.

"Stop being cheesy, my parents are here. Aren't you ashamed?" I asked him because I caught off guard with that line. Although deep inside, I feel butterflies in my stomach. 

"You know what, we'll just prepare the papers so that we can discharge you already." My dad voiced out. 

"We'll leave you guys here for a moment, okay?" I guess she is also boarding in with the idea.

"Ahhh uncle and auntie, I'll come with you. There's a cute nurse there who's flirting with me and I forgot that he asked for my number." She then left the plate at the table, covered it up with another paper plate and left the room with my parents, giggling.

"See? Because of your cheesiness, they decided to leave the room." I alluded then devouring a spoonful of rice and chicken.

"Isn't it a good idea. I can have a solo moment with you?" He teased while moving closer towards my face. I am trying my best not to turn around because if I did, there's a possibility that our lips will touch. 

"You know wha-" I turned to my left and I saw him staring directly into my face. He is not trying to kiss me or anything, he is just blankly looking at me. "What are you looking at?"

"Promise me you won't do that again. I don't know what will I do if I lose you, again." Again? What do you mean again?

"Again? I was never yours in the first place." I challenged his claim.

"Don't you have any ounces of sweetness on your body?" He moved away and sat in front of me while making faces. 

"Have you eaten your breakfast?" I diverted the topic because I don't want him to notice that I am living for his sweet talks. I gave him a paper plate and pair of utensils. "Let's eat." 

"Is this a date or something?" he asked while digging in to the bowl of rice.

"I didn't mean to make you guys worry. But I guess my body can't take everything all at once." I prompted while he is busy putting some chicken teriyaki on his plate.

"To be honest, I felt guilty with what happened because your life before is quiet and simple. Very much different with all the attention that you are getting for being close with me." 

"You don't have to feel that way." I held his hand. "Look at me," and he did. "I decided to be involved with you and I am not regretting the choices that I made. You inspired me a lot and I can't thank you enough for letting me see the other side of the world that I refused to explore before."

I continued, "There are other reasons why I am stressed out lately. But you don't have to worry about that because I can handle it. Now, I know how to deal with it. Okay?" He just nodded and didn't say any words. He's like a dog that you always talk to and even though they probably don't understand anything they will just follow your instructions. 

We just enjoyed the moment together and then an hour later he left the hospital because he needs to prepare for the live interview. Before he left, he told me to prepare because the dinner that we supposed to have will be happening tomorrow evening. 

It's already four in the afternoon and we got the go signal from my attending physician to discharge me from the hospital. Because I cannot drive, dad will be doing the duties. Mild told me that she is going to MGM office because there's a food support that she needs to take care of from Tay's fans. 

Also, according to her MGM will announce the series lineup tomorrow, so she asked me if I want to go to the office with her. I am feeling better now so there's no reason for me to decline her offer. I've slept for two days straight and according to the doctors it only needs hours for me to regain my strength again. 

But he emphasized the importance of avoiding stress which I fully understand.

"Are you sure you are ready for tomorrow?" My mom asked me as soon as we enter the house. 

"Yes, mom. Besides, I want to know what happened that night when you two had dinner or meeting with him. What was that all about?"

They looked at each other before someone said something. "We will be having a family dinner tomorrow with Tay and..."

"Okay? And?"

"his family," mom finishes the sentence. 

I know the doctor said that I should not be stressed but it is literally freaking the hell out of me.

"Wait what? With his family? Why?"

"They want to meet you ever since because you saved Tay," mom looked at dad as if she is asking for back up to her statement.

"Because they want to thank you." 

When I thought having a family dinner with Tay could not get any worse, here we are. The Vihokratanas and Techaapaikhuns will meet tomorrow evening. 

"The only left missing is the idea of Tay proposing during the dinner tomorrow. That would be the perfect cherry on top." I exclaimed while putting my night mask. I am video chatting with Mild who is busy with her final revision for her thesis.

"What if Tay proposed to you tomorrow during the family dinner, what will you do then? Are you going to faint again?" She mocked me while smiling like crazy.

"I will reject him in a snap. Is he crazy? Yes, I like him but not to that extent." I am massaging my face while speaking so that the excess serum will go down the surface of my face.

"Just don't think of it so much. You handled awkward dinners before, hello. If things are quite unsettling during dinner, just do what you are known for."

"Acting." 

"Acting?" We said in unison.

"True! Just act like you're interested with the conversation, nod, agree to them even though the topic is boring as hell. But of course, show your real side when they are addressing you." Mild continued.

"No, I think that's not a good idea. If I am not comfortable with the situation, I think I'll just go along with them. Besides, they genuinely wanted to see me since they learned what happened to Tay here in Bangkok. I won't mind having a conversation or two with them." 

"Hey! Bring back the old Newwiee. Where is he? The old New that I know will probably make an excuse to get out of a sticky situation."

"They're not just normal people okay? They're Tay's family." 

"Then we better sleep early today because we need a whole lot of energy for tomorrow. It's going to be a long day for the both of us."

"Both of us? Why? What's your agenda for tomorrow?" I asked her while cleaning the pack of face mask and putting it in the bin beside me.

"Joss invited me for a dinner tomorrow after the announcement. I guess we're going to address some things."

"Or you're going to undress him and get the thing." I teased. Her reaction is comedy gold. For sure I destroyed her train of thought because she is shocked with what I just said.

"Are you out of your mind? We're just having a dinner." She emphasized. "Wait, what am I supposed to type again?" I can't stop smiling because it is crystal clear that she is flustered.

After an hour, she already finished her thesis revision which I do hope will be the final one because she's working hard with this one since November. With all the things that she has to balance, I can say that Mild is such an amazing woman.

She didn't let her fangirling life take over her system. 

"So, now that we crossed out illness as the probable cause of your you know. What shall we do next?" She asked me while she is applying eye cream under her eyes.

"I'll just have to stay here in our house or in my apartment until the 2nd of January." I replied to her while fixing my bed.

"How sure are you that staying at the comfort of your own home will be the resolution to the problem? What if a thief or burglar break in to your house while you are there? Remember, you are famous now and people may know your life status with one search on the internet." I mean it also makes sense. Staying inside the house doesn't mean I am free of misfortunes. Not all the time my parents will be here with me.

"I don't know. But I'll make sure that I'm not alone until the second of January," I said.

"If you're going to ask me, I find it odd that not doing anything and just locking yourself inside of your house will solve the problem. I don't want to be critical about it but it doesn't sit right to me. For sure it's not as simple as like that." 

"But that's the only thing that I can think of to keep myself away from danger."

"How sure are you that you will not be obliged to go out during the whole week? How sure are you that once you go out tomorrow, you can still attend the dinner with Tay's family in the evening? That you're safe the whole day? Life is unpredictable, Newwiee. You should have a backup plan every time." 

She is not wrong though. I already lost four days instantly before, it can happen again any time. I need to have a backup plan.

"Since we already crossed out the possibility of illness related issues, it boils down to unforeseen event. If you have something to do outside like an obligation, you need to have a companion with you. You can call me anytime you want, okay? Locking yourself inside your house is not a bad idea, but I'm sure that you have to go out in one way or another."

"Are you sure that want to get involved with this? I mean it could be dangerous for both of us," I voiced out with an underlying concern for her.

"Of course. Remember, we took martial arts on our PE class? We can do this."

"Girl, martial arts is nothing if the opponent has a gun." It is not my intention to scare her but I am not crossing out the possibility of encountering that kind of situation.

"Well, you have a point." She rolled her eyes, "Arrrgh! I don't know anymore. My mind is not working properly. Let's discuss about it tomorrow. Let's sleep." I guess she is already sleepy because it's already eleven in the evening.

"Good night, Mild."

"Good nighty, Newwiee. See you tomorrow." I told her before ending the video call.

I am preparing myself to sleep when I opened my Twitter account. I then saw the hashtag #ToeyTalksWithTay. That's when I realized that I forgot to watch the live interview of Tay. We've been talking for hours and Mild is busy with her academic requirement that she probably forgot about it as well.

Well, I guess I have to catch up with it tomorrow morning.

I then opened my LINE and saw Tay's message two hours ago. Jeez, why did I put my phone on silent mode?

[Have you watched the interview?] 

"I haven't. Sorry. I was talking with Mild the whole night and both of us forgot about it," and then I hit the send button. I am not expecting for him to reply because it is already too late so I was about to put my phone down when suddenly, he replied.

[It's okay. You can watch it tomorrow if you want.] smiley emoji.

"It's already eleven, why are you still up?"

[I just finished a call with P'Mark. He said that the police already has lead to the guys who beat me up that night.]

[We also discussed my schedule this week.]

[I guess after tomorrow, we may not be able to see each other that much.] sad emoji.

"The old Tay Tawan is back. Back-to-back endorsements and projects."

[When the news about me doing a possible BL series surfaced, my followings suddenly grew specially on Instagram. So, brands starting contacting us for possible partnership.]

"Seize the moment then. You may have some downs this year, but look at the blessings that are coming your way."

[Yes, I'm so fortunate to have all these blessings.]

[And I am thankful that you are one of them.]

I can't help but smile at his corny lines. What the hell, Tay? You're making it hard for me to go to sleep! 

"You're so cheesy, my goodness."

"But you know what, this year also gave me a lot of plot twists. Some are good, and some are really twisted."

"And I am thankful for having you as the plot twist that I never knew I needed."

That's quite rhyming, Newwiee. What the hell?

[I think you're cheesier than me.] Laughing emoji.

"Whatever, good night. See you tomorrow."

"Good night, Hin. See you tomorrow."

My eyes are fixed on the screen of my phone. Hejust called me Hin, my childhood nickname.


	20. Meet the Vihokratanas

AUTHOR'S NOTE: 

Hi guys~ I just want to apologize because I read some comments about my story having not much romance. I admit, I may overlook that part but to be honest, I have no intention before to make this like a full romantic fic. I really want to challenge myself on going outside on that zone and create something that revolves around mystery etc.

I want to know your complete honest opinion. Is it too boring already because I am focused on being too personal with Tay and New's own life? Let me know so I can make up with you all. 

Thank you and enjoy~

CHAPTER 19

Because the doctor said that I should avoid any unnecessary stress, I slept peacefully last night. I pretended that I did not see what Tay said.

"He knows my childhood nickname, Mild. Other than my family, no one else knows about that name." I exclaimed while digging in to my closet for my outfit today. I never used that nickname ever since because it sounds too lovely for me.

"Maybe your parents mentioned it once when they are having dinner. You're just overthinking things, Newwiee."

I stopped with what I am doing and looked at Mild who's fixing her makeup in front of the mirror. "You think so?"

"If you want to celebrate New Year's Day in the hospital, you can think about it all day you want. But if you want to live a normal life and do something to stop your demise, then just forget about it, drive your way here, and pick me up now." She said in a cold manner.

I know that she is just worried about me but I guess it's too early for her to scold me and she has no energy yet to do that.

I can't look at myself in front of the mirror since I was discharge because I don't think it's no good to do so and it will not help me at all to keep positive for the week. So, I've been avoiding looking at the mirror every time I am going out of the bathroom.

After changing my outfit, I immediately went straight to the garage to pick up Mild since our call time today is at nine and it is already eight twenty. I just hope that there will be no traffic around MGM area.

I am waiting for Mild to go out of her room when suddenly, she walked down as if she is in a fairy tale story. She is feeling herself wearing a pink lacey dress which actually suits her. I am used to her wearing jeans and shirts which is why this is like a breath of fresh air for me. I haven't seen this version of Mild for years.

Today is a very special day for her, I guess.

"You looked gorgeous, huh." I complimented her, trying to not rain on her parade. If I don't have any idea about the occasion today, I might tease her to death with this outfit of hers. But I'll be a good friend to her today.

"You think so? I haven't worn a dress for quite some time now." She asked while looking herself in front of the mirror. I walked beside her and held her shoulders.

"Don't worry, whatever outfit you wear you will look stunning." And I gave her a wink.

"I'm thinking earlier that you will tease me to death once you see me in a dress." She said while putting on heels.

"I might but that's the last thing that I would probably do to you today because you're stunningly beautiful hands down. So, where are you planning on having this dinner with Joss? Do you want some recommendations?"

"I think he already reserved a place yesterday. But let's not worry about that. Let's talk about the series." She then stood up and picked up her bag. "Do you think Off and Gun's will be included in the line up? I heard MGM received at least five BL entries this year."

"Five BL series?" That's quite astronomical. They only had like one series for the past three years. They are focusing more on the lakorn side.

"Yes. I don't know if ours will be chosen or included because it is just pure insanity to hope that our of those five, ours will be chosen." We entered the car and put our seatbelts on. Safety first kids.

"What if they will choose more than one BL series though?" I replied since it is not impossible considering the rising popularity of the said genre today.

"MGM will release ten series next year. Do you think they can do that? I mean they are known for their lakorn series. If they are going to jump to this genre, it will be groundbreaking."

"I mean, if there are five production studios submitted a proposal, might as well grab the opportunity to support them right. I just hope that MGM will produce and support those high quality BL series just like what they are doing to their lakorn series." Anyone can produce a BL series but not everyone can pull of a high quality one. I'm praying that MGM will not going to board in to the popularity of BL industry nowadays that they'll just release mediocre dramas just to say that they are in.

"P'Ja said that it will be groundbreaking line up next year. So, I think they are not playing games with this one." She said in affirmation.

"You are talking to P'Ja?" The CEO of MGM?

"I mean if you're always inside MGM office, there is a high possibility that you can have a conversation with him. He's always there. He's very approachable and good talker. You will learn so many things."

Mild is really something. Imagine, having a casual conversation with one of the most powerful people of MGM about the company's project next year. That is on another level of fan girl moment or whatever you may want to call it.

We arrived at exactly nine because the traffic is not bad around the area. I told Mild that she can get off first while I park the car. I don't know why but I am nervous about our series or their series because yeah, my fate is already determined on one way or another. I just hope the series will be included for the sole reason that this will be the first directorial duties of P'backaof in a series. According to his MyDramaList page when I stalked him.

He already had some screenwriting duties before but this will be his first time directing ever.

Entering the building, I am going towards the direction of the elevators when someone suddenly held my arms. I am familiar with their faces and the next thing I know I am being interviewed out of nowhere. There are three cameras in front of me and a lightbox.

It's P'Godji and P'Jennie filming their online show.

"Sawasdee jaaaa."

"Sawasdee khaaaa." Both of them greeted.

"Sawasdee khaaap," I replied

"I am familiar with him. He's always trending on Twitter. But for everyone who don't know you yet, can you introduce yourself to the audience?" P'Jennie instructed.

"Sawasdee, my name is New Thitipoom Techaapaikhun. You can call me New," and then I smiled.

"New, you're a new face here in this building, right?" P'Jennie called the first pun. Somehow, I feel comfortable with this interview because this is not the usual interviews that we can see on TV.

"I guess so," I laughed.

"What brings New, a brand new face here in MGM?" P'Godji joked.

I don't know if I should answer her question or not because I will be revealing an important matter. But I am no good liar and I believe that they will edit this out so let me just tell them the truth.

"I am here to support my friend on her project." I replied as broad as possible.

"A project. Are you talking about the series project of Off and Gun?" I don't know when will they air this program but the only thing that I can do for now is to nod and give them an awkward smile.

"Don't worry this will air next year, so probably the series is already introduced." P'Godji assured me.

"Oh okay." And then exhaled a deep breath. For some reason, they laughed at me maybe because of my facial expression.

"Just relax. Okay, so we have a question for you New. What is your New Year's resolution?" Oh wow, I haven't thought about that yet.

"To be honest, I don't know yet." I chuckled.

"Okay, we have three days before New Year's Day, let's wait here." P'Jennie fired back which I find it funny.

"Yeah, take your time dear. The guards won't shove us away since we have IDs." P'Godji teased. And then everyone laughed including me.

"I'm kidding. I already have one, Phi." I said while holding their arms trying to control my laugh.

"What is it, can you share it with us?" P'Jennie stated.

"Yes. Well, I want to live every moment of my life. Waste no opportunities and make every moment counts." I refuse the idea of my birthday way back in January to be my last one.

I will get through this.

"Ohhhh, interesting resolutions. I do agree though because we tend to overlook at the chances that life give us not knowing that there are people out there who hope and pray to have the same opportunity that we are getting." P'Jennie supported.

"How about your love life? Do you have any plans on achieving something on your romantic life?" And then suddenly, P'Godji is playing this cute persona which I guess she is flirting with me.

"Don't mind her New. She's just desperate to have someone because she knows her time is ticking." And I swear to heavens, P'Godji's face went to lovely to killer mode. P'Jennie really went there.

"You' re always against my way." P'Godji exclaimed.

"Your life is already a mess anyway." P'Jennie fired back. She is really owning her in this banter. "But in case none of you knows what I am talking about earlier. He trended because the netizens discovered that he is the one that Tay kept mentioning in his interviews about the reason why he started acting." And suddenly, the crew swooned.

I don't know how to react on that one but for sure I am already blushing because the spotlight is now on me.

"Nong, do you have any special message for Tay Tawan." P'Jennie asked. I was about to answer when the whole crew screamed. Out of nowhere, Tay is walking inside the building. I guess he came from the parking lot too.

"Ahhhhhh!! Tay!" P'Godji shouted while running towards him and pulling him over.

It is evident that he is shocked with what is happening but he is just playing along with it. "Sawasdee kap. P'Jennie, P'Godji."

"Sawasdee jaaaa~" both of them replied. "We are filming a Jennie Godji Visit Year-end Special and we stumbled upon Nong New here." P'Godji explained.

"You're right in time because we are asking him if he has any special message for you." He then turned her look back at me. "Nong, do you have any special message for Nong Tay?" P'Jennie asked.

"Ahhh...Tay, ahmm..." I am trying to construct a sensible sentence at this very moment but I am really flustered because he is literally standing in front of me. "I hope you will have a very wonderful year. More projects and blessings because you deserve it. Any problems that will be thrown on your way, I hope you overcome it because you are stronger than what you think."

And then all of them swooned.

"How about you, Nong Tay. Do you have any message for New?" P'Godji asked.

"This is his moment, Phi. I'll tell mine later during our dinner date." Thank heavens we are still inside this building and the guards are not escorting us out for all the noises that they are making. Tay mentioned the dinner later and I guess they misunderstood it as a date because of the choice of words.

He bid goodbye to us because his group is waiting for him at the office while I'm stuck here to finish the interview. As we finished, I thanked P'Godji and P'Jennie for the interview as well as the crew. One of them asked for my social media accounts so that they can plug it on their program, so I gave it to them.

As I entered the office, I saw Mild and Tay sitting in one couch with some MGM artists. They informed me that because of the limited space inside the conference room, the main leads plus the director are inside while the rest of us have to wait here for them to finish.

According to Earth, the other four BL themed series also have the same university settings. Our greatest 'competitor' for the slot will be the adaptation of a famous novel titled Together because the fans actually signed a petition for it to be adapted.

None of them has an idea about the fate of the other four series. The management didn't inform anyone about the possibility of having more than one BL series.

"New, I have a question." Earth said while drinking his coffee.

"What is it?" I entertained him since Mild is having a conversation with other MGM artist together with Mook who is also starring in a proposed series.

"You and Tay, what is the status of your relationship?" He asked casually.

"Why are you asking though?" I asked in a nice way but with an underlying tone of curiosity.

"Because I like you."

"HAAAAA?!" I can only imagine the look of the people who's looking at me right now. I smiled awkwardly because I didn't expect to hear that from him straightforwardly.

"Why are you shocked?" He then laughed a little.

"Why I would not be? Did you hear what you just said?"

"Yes, and I mean it. Why are you acting like surprised? You're cute and your personality is great. Anyone could easily like you." I am confused. Really.

"I- I.."

"Don't worry. I am not planning on acting my feelings if you and Tay are in a serious stage already. That's why I am asking."

"I guess we're on the get to know each other stage yet. I don't know what the future holds for the both of us since I am planning on completing my master's degree abroad."

"Oh, so that's the reason why you're not going to reprise your role if ever?" Somehow, his face brightened a little bit.

"Yes, why?"

"I thought it's because you're going to be partnered with Tay for his drama that's why you can't commit fully on this project. You chose him over me." And he then gave me puppy eyes.

"I didn't choose between you and Tay. I chose myself, my own growth. It involves no men." I replied with conviction. To be honest, no one confessed before about them having crush on me. So, I guess this is the right time to seize the moment. "May I ask, when did you realized that you have a thing for me?" That sounds so egotistical but whatever.

"If I tell you about it, will you give me a fair shot?" He asked in a teasing way.

"If that's the case, then no thanks. I already have so many things to think about." I rejected. I might get into trouble because of my curiosity, my goodness.

"Just kidding." He paused for a moment and then started narrating. "It started when we talked like a couple of weeks ago."

"At the bar? When I asked you where Tay is?" That's our first meeting that I can recall.

"Nope, like a couple of hours before that."

I crossed my eyebrows thinking about an earlier encounter with him then when I realized it, my mind is blown away. "No, you're kidding. You're that Earth? The one that I talked with in the gay dating app?"

"The one who uses Tay's photo. Yes, that's me."

"So, you're the one I am talking to the whole time?"

"Not really." I raised my left eyebrow.

"What do you mean?"

"During the first half of our conversation, I am having fun with our conversation until Tay take over my phone. The whole time that you're talking about your problem that time, you are actually chatting with him."

"Why though? Why you let him take over our conversation?"

"When he told me that you're the one that he's waiting for, at that very moment I knew that I lost my chances. Besides, Tay is my friend. So, I let him."

"Why are you telling me about this right now?" I asked in a very low tone.

"Closure. I have no intention of intervening your relationship with Tay. I mean no harm. I just want to let you know that I am thankful for that short amount of time that I spent with you through chat. Also, it's kind of a bragging rights to know that at one point, Earth Pirapat had a crush on you." The tone of the conversation shifted from serious to a comedy turn.

"Wow, thank you huh. Thank you for that bragging rights." I replied to him in full sarcasm.

"You're welcome. Feel free to use that information anytime." He said in full confidence.

I just rolled my eyes and laughed about it. Moments later, I joined Mild in their conversation since I am sitting here alone like a lost kid. They're talking about Tay now who's sitting beside them. Their topic right now is about some male artists from MGM are actually considering following his footsteps, because the support that he got when they announced that he is doing a BL series drastically increased.

"I mean isn't that the same case with you Tay? I mean you are also going to benefit from doing a BL series like these aspiring artists? I love you Tay but let's be honest here, your manager accepted the offer because he thought it would be a great career change for you." I don't know how close they are to have this kind of conversation but as I look at Tay, he seems unbothered with what he just heard.

"Well, the difference is actually I am representing a part of the LGBTQ community. I may not be vocal about my sexuality but it's not a secret either. For a very long time, several names were attached to my name but none of them became my partner because in reality, I've been interested to one person only." And he glanced at me.

"Aren't you afraid of the backlash? Yes, there will be people who's going to support you but for sure there are some who will think that it's a wise career move to suddenly out yourself as a gay person to save your career." Mek asked.

"Just let them think that way. My personal life has nothing to do with my career anyways. It just so happened that New came to my life when everything is starting to fall apart. He became the inspiration for me to rebuild myself. I have some things to fix with my relationship with him, and I'll take it one step at a time." It's heart fluttering to hear Tay being this open to other people. I thought he can only be like this when it's the two of us, but I guess I'm wrong. It sucks that I cannot do so much as of the moment because of the personal struggles that I am battling. Once I overcome this, I will really make up with him.

"Nong New, aren't you having a hard time adjusting with this set up of yours with Tay? I mean the sudden fame and all?" Mook asked.

"Of course, I had a hard time during the first week, I guess. But because Tay's fans are actually thoughtful and kind, I managed to overcome it immediately. I thought things will get crazy, there will be stalkers, someone will hunt me down like that but I was wrong. They are the opposite of that." I looked at him. "I guess Tay taught them well."

"Are you ready to be vocal about your relationship with Tay if ever?" P'Janhae voiced out. I don't know why but it's starting to feel like I am in a movie where I have to defend my love for their brother Tay.

"Well, the thing is there's nothing to tell the world about, yet. We're very busy these past few days. Also, there are things that we need to settle first. For now, we're on the mutual understanding phase, I guess."

"You're here with us today, does that mean that you are going to pursue the same career as Tay?" Namtan questioned.

"About that, I am actually taking a different path next year. I'll be pursuing my master's degree in New York. Which is also one of the reasons why I cannot commit yet to Tay."

"What about your role for the series? You're not going to reprise it?" Mek followed.

"P'backaof and I already talked about that one. He said that they can adjust to my schedule for the filming of the series next year during my semestral break but I am not really fond of that idea because it seems like I am being too much extra. They can just let another actor take my place instead of doing that."

"I guess P'backaof saw a lot of potential in you because he is willing to adjust for you. I am really stoked and excited to work with you soon. When I saw your video online, I am amazed that you managed to pull the emotions in that very short monologue." Janhae complimented.

"Khun Tay is not wrong when he said that you inspired him to pursue acting. Even I, myself felt inspired to improve on my craft just by watching that audition tape." Neen, one of Krist and Singto's co-actors said. I can see in Tay's eyes that he is proud with the appreciation that I am getting with his co-workers.

Moments later, some people started coming out of the conference room one by one. Mild and I decided to go back to our group and wait for P'backaof, Gun and Off.

"Hey, can I ask a question?" Mook started talking who's just right behind me. I guess she is also going back to her camp inside the office.

"Sure, what is it?"

"What if you and Tay fell out of love while you are away from each other? What will you do?"

"Then I'll be happy for him if that's the case. I cannot blame him if that will be the case because I am away from him." I answered sincerely.

"Will you regret the decision of studying abroad once that happened?"

"No, not really. It's never wrong to choose the things that will help your personal growth."

"So, you are okay with other people stealing your happiness?"

"Happiness doesn't necessarily rely on a single person. You can find happiness on other things like work, hobby, achievements like that." I took a glance at her and she is typing on her phone. "What is that?"

"Oh, I am taking down notes because Mild told me that you're a wise person. I might use some of these during emotional scenes. You know, relating personal experiences and use it as a method acting whatsoever."

"If you want, we can have a coffee talk sometimes. I would be open to answer more of your questions." I winked at her.

"Deal!" and she hugged me. She like the subtle version of her brother.

"Wait, why are your answers like that. It's like the fate of your relationship depends on Tay." A low voice intervened out of nowhere. It's her brother. I stopped walking and turned around. The timing is perfect because Tay is approaching. He looked at us three.

"Because I am already sure with my feelings to Tay. Now it only depends on him if he can wait for me or not." I answered Mek's question.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I can wait for you?" He joined in our conversation.

"You don't have to tell me twice. I am just trying to answer your best friend's question." I smiled and winked at him.

He then punched Mek. "Why do you have to ask that question in the first place?"

"I am just trying to understand his reasonings, okay?" He said while dodging Tay's fist.

Our ways separated when Tay, Mek and Mook had to go to their respective groups. Mild and I are back to our group and moments later, P'backaof together with Off and Gun went out of the conference room. If I am not mistaken, there are almost fifteen groups here inside the office and ten groups will be introduced on the 31st of December while the remaining five have to scrap their project.

"How's the meeting, phi?" Earth asked. We cannot distinguish the emotion that their faces are displaying because it is poker face.

"I'm sorry guys," P'backaof said. I can sense the feeling of defeat on my co-actors. I guess we expected too much. "Because we have to work hard again for the second quarter next year! WE ARE INCLUDED ON THE LIST!" P'backaof followed.

And suddenly, all of us hugged each other while jumping of excitement. Some of the workers inside are clapping their hands to the team who got in to the final cut of the lineup. According to P'backaof, our toughest contender is indeed Together but the management decided to scrap the casting line up. They are not impressed with the actors that were hired. They will conduct an audition for the main cast of Together and they are projected to air by 2020.

Tay will take a break from acting because he'll be hosting a travel show next year.

While we are calming ourselves, P'backaof introduced to us a new member of the family who will be playing my role. The management agreed on the idea of character changes. White Nawat Pumphothingnam. We welcomed him warmly and I might say, the chemistry between him and Earth is also exceptional. Maybe because of the height difference.

According to P'backaof, I still have to attend the event on the 31st even though I am not already part of the official cast. I don't really know if that's necessary but since my existence is part of the trailer, I have no other choice but to commit to the said event.

We are enjoying the moment when I saw P'Mark walking inside the office.

"Good Afternoon, Phi."

"Oh, Newwiee. Have you seen Tay? I cannot reach him out since this morning."

"Yes, he's there Phi. Is everything okay?" He seems worried or something.

"The police called me this morning. They already have a lead about the identity of his attacker that night." Wow, after weeks finally they had a lead for the gang that beat the hell out of Tay.

Mild and I followed P'Mark who approached Tay. According to Tay, his phone didn't charge overnight which resulted to him having a dead batt the whole day.

Because it is a personal matter, we decided to leave the conversation and went back to our pack. We saw them leaving the office which I guess they are going to the police station.

After the talk that we had with the team, Mild and I decided to call the day. I asked her if she wants me to drive her to her dinner which she declined since Joss will be picking her up.

When I looked at my wristwatch, it is already five in the afternoon. How crazy the time flies by when you are having a good time.

I am driving back to our house so that I can help my parents prepare for the dinner with the Vihokratanas. The traffic is so bad that I arrived after one hour. When I entered the gate, an unfamiliar car is parked outside.

As I opened the door to our house, I saw three strangers inside our house and they are talking with my mom in the living area.

"Honey, you're here." My mom exclaimed which resulted at them looking at my direction.

"Sawasdee kap." I greeted them.

"Newwiee, this is Tay's family. Tay's mom, grandmother and his older sister." Mom introduced me to them.

"Nice to meet you." I just smiled because I do not know what to say next.

We decided to sit first to have a proper conversation.

"How are you doing, New? We heard about what happened to you on Christmas Eve. We're so worried about you." Tay's mom asked.

"I am doing fine now auntie. Don't worry. I just have to take care of myself more. Avoid stress as per doctor's instruction."

"That's good to hear. Is Tay giving you headache though?" His sister asked.

"Not really. He's been very busy these past few days because of brand commitments. We rarely see each other but we occasionally talk via LINE." I replied to her.

"Your mom mentioned that you're planning on going abroad to study. How's your preparation for that?" Tay's mom questioned. Out of them three, I am scared to encounter his mom because I don't want to give a bad impression whatsoever.

"I haven't prepared anything yet because they only informed me about it on Christmas Eve. They surprised me with the acceptance letter," I explained.

"Don't stress yourself too much New. You have to take care of yourself too, okay?"

"Yes, auntie. I've been keeping that on my mind for the past forty-eight hours." I chuckled.

"I really thought I will not have the chance to thank you personally for doing heroic things for my grandson." Tay's grandmother finally spoke.

"I just did the right thing for your grandson. He needed my help and thankfully, I was there before it's too late. I found him before that gang beat him to death." She is holding my hands right now while looking at me. "I am also thankful to Tay for trusting a stranger like me."

"But he's no stranger to you, New." She replied with a confusion on her face.

"Didn't Tay tell you about it?" Tay's mom questioned.

"About what, auntie?" I asked her.

"This is not the first time that you saved Tay," she revealed. I am trying my best to put sense on everything that is happening but I cannot recall any encounters with Tay before. My mom held my shoulders as if she is telling me to listen to what she is about to say.

"Fifteen years ago, Tay had a car accident and someone saved him," Tay's sister recalled.

"A certain person he called Hin,"


	21. The Beginning

My favorite chapter...so far.

CHAPTER 20

11 MONTHS AGO...

Tay's POINT OF VIEW

P'Mark and I are walking our way to the office where our first meeting will take place. Last night, the production called my manager to discuss the upcoming drama special that will revolve around me. Channel 7 and P'Worn, the director of Together in Paradise's third season had a talk about adapting the story of my life.

Moments later, P'Worn entered the office together with two other gentlemen. We had a small talk about the series. The filming will start next month and this will be like our warm up before doing some magic.

Ten minutes passed and the head of Channel 7 walked inside and offered his hands to us. He sat in front of us which signifies the start of this meeting. According to P'Roy, he cleared his schedule today to attend this briefing with us.

He also wants to give some input or opinions about the drama special.

"Feel free to start, Tay." P'Worn asked. He told me that his screenwriter is present today and will jot down the key points of my life story.

"I am Tawan Vihokratana, an artist from MGMTV. I've been through a lot since I was a kid. My father needed to multiple jobs while my mom is a teacher. I have three siblings and I am the youngest. For years, we used to live in the comfort of our own home. Everything changed when I was around twelve years old. We had to sell our house because my family's debt increased exponentially."

"We managed to pay almost every debt that we had when we sold our house but of course, we needed to survive which is why my father doubled his effort to earn some money. My grandparents are so generous that they allowed us to live there for the mean time."

"One day, my mother learned that my father is having an affair with his boss who's a widow. He reasoned out that he's just doing it to extort money from that lady since she is this lonely, depressed and desperate for love. Disgusted with her husband's reasoning, of course it is understandable that she kicked him out of the house and told him to end everything with his mistress."

"Your life is quite a telenovela to begin with. And here you are, doing telenovelas on the television. What a coincidence," P'Worn tried to crack a joke which I just shrugged.

"Yes, phi. I've been exposed to drama since I was a kid. Might as well use it as an inspiration for my acting, right?" They all nodded.

"Did your father reconciled with your mother though?" P'Mon asked, the screenwriter.

"After six months, he came back as a whole different person. I remember that day, I came home from school with my sister and we saw this black van outside our house. When we went inside, we saw this man who's talking to my mother and grandparents. He's wearing a black suit and pants, white long sleeves and royal red necktie. Very far from the usual style of my father. He also has body guards waiting for him outside. A few moments later, he handed over some pieces of paper to my mother and informed her that he's filing a divorce. He's about to marry his mistress and they cannot push that until his first marriage is deemed null and void."

"Did your mother played dirty too? Did she rejected the divorce request and told him to suffer forever, something like that?" The screenwriter asked excitedly. With his tone of voice and facial expression, I guess he can already imagine the scenes while typing the details that I am narrating.

"No, she just signed the papers and my father asked her to wait for his lawyer to give the final verdict." I answered honestly before sipping in some water.

"Really? She didn't even fight for your father? Told him to wait until he dies, like that?" He asked enthusiastically.

"I guess when she saw my father completely changed, she realized that the man she loved before is already gone. She just gave what he wanted in the first place. Signed the papers and let him leave peacefully. She told him though that if he wants to visit us, his kids, he can do it anytime. She didn't ask for any support, which is maybe her last resort to save her pride."

"I'm sorry to say this but that's quite odd. That is not how I pictured the situation will go down." P'Worn intervene. I do understand what he is saying because it is quite unbelievable but my mom is awesome. If the man wants to leave and asked for his freedom, she gave it to him.

"We will add some dramatic confrontation sequence on this part okay?"

"As long as the outcome will be the same, then I'm down with it." I chuckled. I am a television actor, and drama is what I am selling to my audiences.

"When did you realize that 'Ahh! Acting is my passion. This is my dream job.'?" P'Roy asked while his hands are crossed together.

"First year college, sir." I replied to him respectfully.

"Oh, okay. Is there anything else that you want to add before we start the story about your journey to stardom?" P'Mon asked while typing on his laptop.

"Yes. Actually, the reason why I decided to pursue acting is connected to the reason why I am existing to this day." I don't know if they understood what I just said but I hope they did. I am too excited to tell the story about it.

"What do you mean?" P'Worn crossed his arms and gave me a gaze.

14 YEARS AGO

It's almost seven in the evening and we are just walking our way back home. My classes ended at four but I had to wait for my sister to finish her project with her friends. The thing is, they are not doing any output whatsoever. They just kept on talking to each other for the past three hours. I have no choice but to wait for her because I don't want my mom to scold the hell out of me.

"I see no project or output big sister. What will you tell mom if she asked us why are we just going home late?" I asked her because I can't think of a reasoning to use later just in case an investigation occurred.

"Just tell her that your teacher ended the class late and I waited for you. That's all you have to say," she said in full confidence as if I am going to obey her narrative. She is like putting the blame on me like she is the one who's not guilty.

"My classes ended already at exactly four in the afternoon. I am a grade six student if I may add. Do you think mom will believe me if I told her that our classes extended until five? I am not a high schooler or college student." I told her trying to shift the weight of the situation back to her.

"Then just tell her that it's traffic or whatever," she instructed while texting on her phone. At this point, I just want her to hit the lamp post just to realize how bad our situation is and she needs to cooperate with me on finding a reason.

"Accck!" she exclaimed. I turned around and saw her caressing her forehead. I can't help but to laugh hard because the heavens are on my side tonight. She bumped into the lamp post which resulted to her phone falling to the ground.

My laughter turned into horror s because I realized that she may broke the screen of her phone. I immediately went to check it first disregarding my sister who's hurting.

I love my sister to death but if her phone is broken, both of us will face death.

I picked it up to see if the screen is broken but thank heavens it is not. She literally got this phone not over a week ago as her birthday gift but here we are. It's a touch screen phone. First variant from a well-known Korean brand.

"Thank you, our ancestors." I sighed when I saw the phone has no scratch or crack. "You should take care of this phone, khun. This is so expensive for goodness' sake." I scolded her.

"You're more worried with the phone instead of checking me?" She asked while snatching the phone back.

"Of course. Being scolded because we're already running home late is already too much," I nagged. "Besides, you're hard-headed person. Bumping your forehead in this metal will not hurt you." I checked the pole. "Are you okay, Mr. Poley?"

"You're unbelievable, Tay. I hate you." She said while resuming our walk.

"The feeling is mutual, don't worry."

As we approach our home, I saw a familiar car. The same car that parked in front of our house when my mother decided to end her marriage. We immediately ran inside to see if our father is inside.

Our mom is talking to her ex-lover. They are having a casual conversation, I guess.

"You're finally home," he said when he saw the two of us. My older brother is preparing the food on the table.

"W-What's happening?" My sister asked.

"Your dad asked us to attend his birthday party. I rejected the offer since I don't think it's going to be a good idea. In respect to his new wife too," mom explained while standing up and joined my brother in preparation. I don't know how casually she is telling these words.

I want to be as strong and mature like my mother when I grow up.

"If your mother can't come. Can you three at least be there?" He asked.

"I can't because I have an exam two days later. I need to study," my brother coldly replied.

"Same goes to me. I have group project to finish. The main reason why we came home late." She really managed to casually segue our reason for being late in the conversation. I can see in my father's eyes that he is sad that two of his children cannot attend the party.

I mean there's nothing wrong I guess to attend the party. I came there for my father not for his new wife or something. Wait, am I being to mature at this point?

"I can go, dad." I replied in full smile. I saw the reactions of my siblings as if I did something heinous.

"Tay!" they exclaimed.

"What? I don't have any exams or project to finish on Saturday," I reasoned. "Is it okay, mom?"

She looked at me, "It's fine. Just make sure that you'll be home before nine."

He told me that he'll send someone to pick me up on Saturday. I nodded and smiled. My dad bid farewell to us and before he left, he gave me a tight hug.

After that moment, I joined them in the table for dinner.

"Really? You're attending the party? Don't you have any shame?" my older brother asked.

"Dad invited me though. So, what's the shame all about? I'm his son anyway." I answered him.

"But he cheated on mom, hello? What's not clicking Tawan?" my sister's voice raised.

"If it's not okay with mom, then I definitely won't go. But she agreed, so I'll go," simple as that.

"How come that you are okay with that idea, mom? He hurt you. We should cut our ties already with him." Brother demanded.

"I left everything behind. I acknowledge my shortcomings with our relationship and same goes with him. Before he left us, we always fight every night. It is not healthy anymore. Of course, I wished that we could have settle things and didn't decided to end everything. But the thing is, your father already loved somebody else. So, I let him go wholeheartedly."

He looked at me. "I may cut my ties with him as my husband, but it doesn't necessarily mean that I should cut yours with him too. It's your decision to make. All of you decided to stay with me and it's okay for me If you all decided to mend your relationship with him."

I just gave a smile to my mother and continued eating the dinner that she prepared.

Saturday came and just like what I expected the same car and guards that my father brought last time arrived. They asked for my mom's permission to bring me to the party which she agreed to. Before she let me go, she gave me a box and told me to give it to my father.

While we are on our way to the party, the box that she gave me is sealed with ribbon with no wrapping whatsoever. It's just a plain brown box and red ribbon. I opened to see what is inside of it and I saw a gold wristwatch. I already saw my dad wearing this before and I guess she wants him to have this back.

When we arrived in the venue, my jaw almost dropped as I walk my walk inside their house. It seems like a mansion or palace or something. Everything is glittering in either silver or gold inside. There are waiters and waitresses roaming inside with tray of wine glasses, I think.

"Our boss wants you to wear this." One of the guards told me. It is a tuxedo and black pants. They escorted me to the restroom to change. When I am finish with the outfit, I went outside.

"Can I meet my father?" I asked them.

He then pressed something on his left ear and talked to someone. Moments later he replied. "The young master will be escorted inside."

Young master? I can only hear that term every time I am watching KDramas or lakorn dramas in the television. I guess my father's new wife is really that rich to afford this kind of lifestyle and mansion.

We are here in the second floor of the house and I am being escorted to the room where my dad is. The guard opened the door for me and when my dad saw me, he immediately walked his way towards my direction.

"Tay," he said happily.

"Happy birthday, dad." I greeted him. I gave him the box that mom handed me earlier. "Mom wants you to have this. I'm sorry, I didn't save enough money for my gift."

He smiled. "Don't worry, you being here is enough for me. I'll introduce you to everyone later and to Priscilla." I guess Priscilla is her new wife's name. When he opened the box, I guess memories came back when he saw that wrist watch. "I thought she sold this one as well."

"Is there something special with that watch, dad?"

"It's your mom's gift to me on our first anniversary. It's made from real gold." He then winked.

"You could probably afford a much expensive and new one." I teased him.

"But this one is special. Money cannot buy the memories that this watch has." He explained.

I don't want to ruin his good mood but since we are already talking about memories and other things, might as well ask about it. "If that watch is special because mom gave it to you, what happened dad? I mean why did you cheat on her?"

"Whatever explanation I will say, it doesn't matter because at the end of the day, I cheated. But it doesn't mean that there are no other reason why we ended our marriage. I already feel so ashamed of myself that I cannot give my family the life that they deserve. Aside from that, I can barely save our family in debt. When I am on the rock bottom, Priscilla is there to comfort me. Your mom on the other hand is so busy with working hard just to earn money for us. She almost forgot that she has a husband. We barely talk about our situation and if we do, we always end up in a fight."

"It's either we both hit our downfall or save ourselves from sinking. When I told her about Priscilla, I already saw in her eyes immediately that the love is gone. Then a week later, I went back to her so that she can sign the divorce papers." That explains why my mom immediately signed the divorce papers that day. They already met before that whole thing happened.

"Of course, she also gave you the freedom to choose whether you'll stay with her or go with him. I am hoping you'll stay with her and thank heavens you all did because your mom needs you more."

"Love is not enough to save a dying relationship. If both of you are already exhausted, the only thing left to do is to let go and move forward," he finishes before patting my head.

Just like what my dad said, he introduced me to Priscilla, his wife. She is very warm as a person. I can't blame dad if he fell in love with her. She is not giving me any antagonistic aura. She even toured me around their house.

When she heard that I'll be coming, she is beyond happy to finally meet me. According to her, she cannot bare any child and she really want to have one. She is hoping that one of us three would come to meet her at least once before they migrate to Europe for their business venture there.

I suddenly felt sad to hear that my dad and Priscilla are staying in Europe for good. Is that the reason why he invited us? Because it could potentially be the last time that we will see each other?

It's already seven in the evening. While everyone is eating their food, the fireworks display started. I am just enjoying the view of the skies when someone poked my shoulders.

"Master told me to bring you home." A guy wearing a black suit and shades told me.

"Already? But I'm still watching the fireworks display." I told him.

"Your mom is waiting for you back home. He told me to send you home." He insisted.

"Let me just say goodbye to him," I pleaded.

"The master is busy right now, I'm afraid that he cannot attend a conversation with you. Don't worry, he will visit you again tomorrow morning." He said in full confidence.

"Okay." I surrender.

We then walked our way to the other side of the party. The guards are everywhere and we passed by two security at the back door of the venue. I saw a black car which I am quite not sure why he is taking me there instead of the black van earlier. I didn't question him because those two guards earlier talked to him as if they are giving him instructions.

I looked back and saw the crowd where my Dad is. He is indeed busy talking to some of his friends. I sat at the back side of the car and then he started driving. I am just busy with the ball that I won earlier in the game. It is squishy and if you press it hard, it expands like a jelly.

I noticed that the guard is looking at me from time to time. I can also recognize that he is seems nervous.

"Khun, are you okay?" I asked him because he is removing his necktie.

"H-Huh?"

"Are you okay, sir?" I repeated what I said.

"Y-Yes. I'm okay. Just play with your toy there and we will be home in ten minutes or so."

I did what he said. I just shrug off his nervousness. Maybe he is slightly drunk.

Five minutes later, I noticed that the way where the car is going is quite unfamiliar. I don't think this is our route earlier. It's like we're on a mountain side or something. I decided to sit at the front sit to have a clear view of the road.

"Khun, where are we right now? I don't remember this path earlier this morning." I asked him while sitting beside him.

"H-Huh? What do you mean? Why are you sitting there?" I also noticed that he is not wearing his seatbelt.

"Your seatbelt, khun." He stopped the car for a moment to fix his seatbelt. He then stared blankly at the piece of cloth in front of him and a bottle of liquid something. Then, he switched back his attention to me. We are staring at each other for quite some time now.

Then, my heart start beating faster when I realized the situation that I might be in right now. I already saw this with some lakorn drama that we are watching every Saturday and Sunday night. That liquid must be the thing that the kidnappers use to have their victim put on sleep.

I tried to calm down and try to not act obvious. I noticed that the door beside me is not locked. I can use this to escape later. For a kidnapper, he is really tensed. At this moment, he should have already put me on sleep or what not but no, he is just staring at the bottle.

I was about to open the door when he suddenly threw the bottle of liquid and cloth outside. I don't know what happened with him but I guess he changed his mind.

"This is plain stupidity." He whispered to himself as if I could not hear what he said. "Let's take you home."

Then I saw him looking at the rosary in front of us. He held to it before driving again.

"I'm sorry if I scared you a little." He told me.

"Scared? About what, khun?" I replied as if I didn't realize what he was about to do with me earlier.

"With the seatbelt," base on his appearance, I guess he is around his late twenties.

"Oh okay. It's okay, khun. I will fix mine too." I then fasten my seatbelt just like what my father taught me before when we still have a car. "What's your job khun? Are you a driver?"

I think that caught him off guard for a moment. "No. This is just my sideline. I don't have any stable job at this moment."

Based on what just happened, I guess he is not really a kidnapper and this is his first time to do it. I didn't notice that he is not one of the guards because he is wearing the exact same outfit as my dad's guards. Those two guys earlier, I think they are his accomplice and they are in with this plan.

"You're supposed to kidnap me, don't you?" I asked him casually. I don't know if that's the right thing to do, but I assume that he already changed his mind. So, I just hope I didn't trigger him or something.

"W-What?"

"I know it already khun. You're not one of my father's guards. Considering that you have chloroform earlier and a cloth, I concluded that you might be a kidnapper." I replied to him.

"N-No. I am not," he denied.

"It's okay khun. I won't tell the police just make sure that you'll send me home safe and sound. Besides, for a kidnapper, it seems like you are nervous to do it, not to mention to willing to do it."

"Why are you talking like you're an adult?" He checked on me.

"I am just trying to tell you my observation, khun. If you're going to change your mind and proceed with the plan, then the heavens will be the one who's going to judge you on that one." I am not trying to scare him but it seems like I am.

"I'm really sorry. I was so stupid to board in to this plan. I should have just rejected their offer."

"Why? What was the initial plan, khun?"

"Fifteen million dollars. Five million for me. Those two guys earlier are my co-workers before in and we are all get fired from our job in a factory that your family owned." I guess realized something. "Your father and step mother owned. They closed the factory since they will be staying in Europe to start over again. They thought that it is unfair to just fire as like that. But thinking about it, we are all contractual workers and not tenured yet. So, the only thing that they can do is to give us separation pay instead of relocating like what they did to the tenured workers." He confessed. I cannot blame him if he will be blinded by that amount of money.

"But I guess you have your principles, khun."

"And a family," he replied in a low tone. "I kept thinking about my newly born son. What will he think of me someday once he learned that his dad was once a kidnapper? I don't want to go to jail either."

"Don't worry khun, you won't be going to jail. I'll be your witness." I smiled like a fool.

"I hope my son will grow up like you and not like me."

"Why? I think you're a cool dad, khun. You have your moral and principles. Your son will be glad to have you as his father."

"I hope so. I don't know why life is so unfair. I am trying my best to keep my family safe and fed every day. But there are people who are born lucky. Money is just like a sand for them. It is limitless."

"But khun, money can also be taken away in a snap without proper budgeting. That's what I learned in our economics class." I said proudly.

"So, you are an achiever now? Earlier you talk like an adult, now you are talking like a genius." He smiled.

"I study hard for my mom. I want to work hard too and when I graduate, I will build him a house of her dream."

"Dream high, work hard kiddo. You will achieve so many things for sure."

"I hope so." I chuckled. "By the way, what does your kid look like khun? Is he handsome like me?"

"He's more handsome of course. Wait there's a picture there inside my wallet in the compartment."

He is reaching for the compartment to get his wallet. He is already holding the wallet when I saw a car approaching our direction. The lights are so bright that I cannot see what's about to happen. "Khun! There's a car!" I yelled.

When he saw the car approaching, he instantly switches lane to avoid a car crash. But it is already too late, we didn't hit the car but the car hit a big tree. The impact is so hard that khun hit his head really hard on the steering wheel.

Because the air bag didn't activate, I also hit my head resulting of me losing consciousness.

I felt something is running on my head. I wiped it with my hands and I saw blood flowing. I looked at khun who's still unconscious. Then I felt something with my legs. I realized that it is stuck on the crash.

"K-Khun." I am waking him up but he is not responding. I am trying to shake his body but I am too weak. Then I noticed something is burning in front of us. The car hood is on fire.

I never felt more scared in my entire life.

"H-Help!" I am screaming.

I don't know what to do first. Wake him up or remove myself from this car. I tried to pull my legs out but I have not enough power to do so.

"H-Help," I can already feel the tears flowing down my eyes. "Khun, wake up."

Since I am weak, I will try to remove first my left leg before the right one. I can feel the scratches on my legs. I don't care if I will lose my legs on this accident, I just want to live.

I have so many dreams that I want to fulfil.

I started to burst in cry when I felt sharp objects hitting my legs.

"A-Are you okay?" khun is already awake.

"Khun! T-The car is burning," I told him. He is also weak probably because of the blood that he lost. He looked in front of the car.

"Y-You need to get out of this car. N-now." He instructed as if his life is not as valuable as mine.

"No! W-we need to get out of this car khun. Your baby. He still needs you." I demanded. "Help!" I screamed while opening the car. "Help us, please!"

I am praying that someone will magically appear in front of us right now and save me and khun from this ticking bomb. "Please!" I demanded.

"A-Are you okay?" I don't know why but a kid, probably the same age as mine showed. He is crying and sniffing. I noticed his head is also bleeding but he has more strength than us. "Wait, this is going to be painful okay. Let me pull out your left leg first."

"O-Okay."

I don't care about the pain, I just want to survive. He then slowly pulling it out and after five seconds, my left leg is pulled out. He didn't wait any longer and pulled my right leg next. I can't complain about the pain because at any given moment, the car will already explode.

Moments later, I already felt both my legs again. He carried me out of the car and we walked away from it. I then heard a noise coming from our car as if something ignited. "Khun! You have to help khun!"

"Okay, just go there and wait for me." He pointed the direction where a car crash also occurred. Compared to us, the damage is not that serious. I walked myself there.

I am just looking at him trying to pull out khun but I guess he is too heavy for him. I then noticed that he went inside. Moments later, he is leaving the car.

"Khun! You have to save him!" I shouted to him.

"He said-"

He was about to respond when an explosion occurred. He is so near on the car that his body flew a few feet away. I suddenly felt my tears running towards my face. I saw him carrying the wallet that khun mentioned earlier. I ran towards him even though I am in excruciating pain. He is unconscious. I carried him away from the burning car.

"Hey. Hey! Wake up!" I am shaking him while trying to stop myself from crying.

"Hin!" I heard a soft voice talking. "Hin."

I walked my way in front of the car and saw an old man also bleeding. "A-Are you okay sir?" I asked him.

"W-Where's Hin?" Hin? I guess that's his name.

"He's safe sir. He's just unconscious." I tried to explain.

"T-Take care of Hin for please. I heard an explosion. Please keep him safe."

"He is already safe sir, don't worry." I assured him.

"Grandpa!" He is already awake.

"New. My boy, thank God you are okay." His weak voice is starting to become evident. I walk myself away from the conversation and focused on my legs, trying to stop it from bleeding.

"Grandpa, I will call for help, okay. Just wait there." He then started to go the other way screaming. "Help!"

The road is so empty and quiet aside from the noise that is coming from the burning car. I looked to it again and I can't help but to cry. I smell something leaking from the near car and I just hope that it is a normal leak and not another explosion.

"Help!" I shouted too trying to help him to attract attention.

He went back to their car and opened the other side of the car's door. He placed his ear on the old man's chest. "Hang on there, grandpa. I already called for help. They are already on their way." He lied to him. He is just trying to keep him conscious because if his grandfather lost consciousness it could be fatal.

"N-New, Please take care of your grandma for me okay?" I can't help but to feel bad for him. His grandfather is already bidding goodbye.

"No, just wait a little more grandpa. They are already on their way," He then lost in reality and just stared there like he saw something. His face is definitely in shock. "Don't forget to take care of yourself, New."

New is his name but I guess Hin is his nickname.

"Grandpa!" He screamed and burst out crying. I ran towards him and I saw the old man not breathing anymore.

Two lives already lost tonight and I will not allow one of us to not survive this night. I tried to run and asked for help because he is just there crying. After three minutes of walking, I saw a car headlight. I stopped from walking and waited for the car to arrive. I then noticed that it is my dad's van.

"Tay! Oh my goodness, Tay! What happened?"

"T-There's a kid there. We where in an accident. Two lives are lost. Please save him." I plead. My father then instructed his guards to go to the direction that I pointed and just like what I described, they saw New there.

I don't know how can I thank him for saving me tonight.

I owe my life to him.

Looking at the wallet that I am holding right now, I realized that I owe him a lot.

:)


	22. His Promise

CHAPTER 21

Tay's POV

"Can you brief us about what happened?" I'm inside the police station at this moment with my father and a lawyer. I gave him a look as if I am asking if it is okay to answer. He gave me a nod and tight hug.

"I am enjoying the party earlier when khun told me to go with him because my dad instructed him to bring me home. I didn't hesitate to follow him because I saw how busy my father is, I don't want to distract him. Then there are two other men escorted us to the back parking lot where the car is parked. The three of them are wearing the exact outfit as my dad's guards which is the reason why I didn't suspect anything." I narrated briefly while my father wrapped his coat around me because he noticed that I am shivering due to the air condition unit placed directly in front of us.

"You mentioned about two other men, did you recognize their faces?"

"No, sir. They are wearing black shades that time so I didn't see their faces."

"What happened next? What caused the accident? Did you have a fight with him?" The officer asked.

"That's leading, officer." Dad's lawyer intervened.

"No, sir. That's not the reason why the accident happened." I am looking at the wallet and suddenly remembered last final moments I experienced just to have this on my hand. "He is searching for this wallet when suddenly, a car approaches with full head light. He tried to maneuver the car on the opposite direction but unfortunately, we hit a tree."

I continued, "the crash is so big that the hood of the car got wrecked and my legs are stuck in between my seat and the compartment area. I thought I am going to die already but thankfully someone heard my screams and that kid save me." What is his name again? Hin right? Lin? No, he's a boy so it's probably Hin.

"I think that's all. We will close the case to attempted kidnapping only. Based on our initial investigation, the car is already old which could be the possible reason why a leak happened and explosion follow through. We will inform the deceased family about what happened."

"It was not really a kidnapping. He changed his mind immediately. He's about to send me home until the accident happened. Please, don't do anything to his family." I pleaded.

"Don't worry kid. We will not do anything to his family. We're just going tell them what happened and probably inform them as well about the criminal record that the deceased will receive." The police officer explained.

"No, can we do something? I don't want that to happen. It will be bad for khun's family. Don't do that, sir." I pleaded.

"If the victim initiated the pardon then I guess officer we cannot impose a record on the deceased. Just clear his record and inform the family about what happened." The lawyer voiced out.

"Also, I like to extend my condolences to them about what happened. Can you give us their contact number once you got in touch with them?" My dad asked while giving his calling card to the officer.

The officer sighed and nodded. "Okay, sir. We will do everything you said."

"Attorney, can you please do something. News blackout, everything." My dad asked.

"Okay, sir." He then stood up and dialed his phone.

After the interrogation, my dad drove me home so that he can explain briefly what happened to my mom. It is already past midnight and for sure my mom is waiting and worrying for me.

When we arrived, I can see my mom and siblings waiting outside. They ran towards me and gave me a warm hug.

"What happened?" My mom asked us and I can hear the anger in her voice.

"According to Tay, someone escorted him pretending to send him home. Things didn't end well because they got into a car accident." Dad said briefly.

"And you let that happened? How come that you have hundred of guards and no one noticed that someone is kidnapping him?" My sister shouted, fuming.

"That's why I am against this idea of you going with him. Look what happened." My older brother scolded me.

"It's okay. I'm okay now. Don't blame dad or the guards. It's my fault anyway. I should have not trusted some strangers." I gave them a smile.

"Let's go inside." My mom ordered while leaving my dad outside. I cannot blame her if she is acting like this because I almost died. She will forever resent my father if that happened. I glanced back to my father and gave him a smile and waved. He did the same thing and mouthed good night.

It was a rainy afternoon and even though my mother is hesitant to allow me to go with my father and meet khun's family, she eventually gave in. Understandably, khun's wife is crying and mourning for her husband's demise and at the same time asking for my forgiveness because of what happened.

"Please forgive my husband. He is not this person. He just got laid off from work and we are barely surviving every day. Please, forgive him." His wife pleaded while talking to me. With her is someone who is carrying a baby. That must be his son.

"It's okay, khun. I know that he is a good guy. He already explained to me his situation about being fired from dad's factory. He admitted that he got blinded by the money that his co-worker offered but eventually changed his mind." I told her to at least comfort her because she is weeping for almost ten minutes already while talking to us.

"I am sorry again for your loss." My dad offered his condolences.

I excused myself from the conversation since they are already talking about compensation to khun's family. I don't have anything to offer, so might as well leave them alone. I pulled out something from my pocket and it is the brown wallet that Hin risked his life for.

I opened it and saw an amulet, picture of khun and his wife and cash. I looked at his wife again and I guess this old picture of them really is very important to him that he wants her to have. Basing on their looks, it seems like it was taken during their high school days.

According to my dad, Hin is confined here in Chiang Mai. I want to personally thank him for saving me. He said that he will bring me there so that he can also thank him for what he did last night.

We arrived at the hospital and asked the nurse for the kid that is admitted last night due to car accident. He gave us the room information of him and we saw two people having a conversation outside his room. I assume that they are Hin's parents.

"Sawasdee kub," my dad initiated the conversation. Based on their facial expression, they are seem worried about something. They greeted us back and it is evident that they are confused about who is talking in front of them.

"How can we help you?" the mom asked.

"We are here for a certain person named Hin?" he looked at me and I nodded. "He saved my son last night from the car accident and we just want to know if he is okay, at also thank him for what he did."

They looked at each other and the father sighed heavily. "I see." I can sense an aura of discomfort when my father mentioned about our identity. I cannot blame them, they lost a family member and somehow, we are responsible too for what happened. "To be frank, he cannot accommodate anyone right now because it seems like he suffered a trauma. According to the doctor, it seems like he suffered a lot emotionally because of what happened to his grandfather."

"He is already awake but he is not talking to us," the woman follows through.

"Is he going to be okay?" The only thing that I added to the conversation, trying to know if there is a chance that I can talk and thank him,

The woman looked at me and gave a timid smile, "He is. But now, he barely talked to anyone. They need to supply him nutrients too since he is not eating his food."

"Darling, I received a text message from a friend who works here. He wants to discuss the options about Newwiee's condition if it will not improve for the next three to five days. Do you want to come?" His father asked while holding her shoulders trying to consolidate her wife.

"I'll come. Let me just get my bag." She entered the room.

"Sir, can I see him for a while?" I asked him because I am afraid to ask his wife. He seems kind and approachable.

"Okay. If something happened, just press the button near his bed to call the doctors, alright?" he pointed the red button above his son's bed.

"I will sir," I affirmed.

"Tay if you are finish, I will be at the café shop outside the hospital. I will wait for you there, okay?" My father tapped my shoulders giving me a chance to have a one-on-one talk with Hin.

I nodded my head and left. Hin's parents followed leaving me outside the room.

Opening the door, I am not sure why I feel a sudden nervous. I haven't seen his face clearly and this will be the first time that I can completely see it. He is watching a cartoon on the television and his attention is fixed to it. I don't even know if he knows that I am existing inside the room.

He has no bandage thank heavens but his face is scratched and there is band aid on his forehead.

"Hi," I voiced out implying my existence with him.

He glanced at me at gave me a look but not saying any word. It is getting weird because of his silence so I am just going to continue talking even though he is not responding.

"You saved me last night, I am here to thank you from the bottom of my heart," wait why does that sound so cheesy. I watched too much dramas lately, geez. "I mean, I just want to tell you that I owe my life to you."

"I'm glad that you're okay," he responded. My eyes widened because he responded.

"You're talking now? Wait let me just call the doctors." I was about to press the red button but he stopped me.

"No, don't call them," he ordered. "I am okay. It is just that, I don't want to talk to my parents right now."

"Why? They seem worried about you." I walked back near his bed and sit.

"They are the reason why I am here in Chiang Mai in the first place. I am living here since they are always out of town. If I am not here, then the accident would not happen. My grandfather could still be alive."

I think he is resentful to them judging with the tone of his voice.

"But they are really worried about you. They are about to consult someone for other options since they thought you are still in trauma."

"Let them. All this time, I never felt that I have parents. I only have my grandparents since they started their businesses outside Bangkok." He said in a monotonous voice, relaying the message with an underlying hatred.

"But you cannot do that to them in a long time. You have to address your feelings towards them at some point because they are your parents. I can see in their faces that they are deeply worried and concerned about you." I gained his attention back. "You're fortunate because you still have parents. Not all people can experience that. Just like khun's baby. His father died and he will grow up without his father's guidance. He is robbed for the opportunity to experience a father's love that you can still have. Don't take things for granted."

He squinched his eyes. "How old are you, really? Why are you talking like a wise man? Don't take life too seriously. Of course, I am not planning on avoiding my parents the rest of my life. Let me mourn for my grandfather this way." I just nodded as a sign of understanding.

We didn't really talk that much since he is just busy watching the television. Moments later, his parents went back which also signifies my exit. I bid farewell to them and before I left, I took a last glance at him which surprisingly, he is also looking at me. He then gave me a wink and smiled while his parents are busy at the back arranging his items.

I find his smile contagious and lovely.

"How was your visit?" My mom asked while cooking our dinner. She is alone at the moment so I decided to help her with the ingredients.

"Thankfully, he is okay. But he has family issues which is why he is pretending that he is not." I can say that out of us three, I inherited the interest with cooking since I'm always helping my mom if there's a chance.

"Maybe he wants to grab his parents' attention once and for all. I have a student like him. She is trying to fail her grades so that her parents will always go to school and talk about it where in fact, I know that she can excel well. Not a good idea, but it's not bad too." She smiled.

"Rich kid's problems, I guess?" I chuckled.

"How about you, Tay. Did you wish that I didn't sign the divorce papers that day? That somehow, I tried to fight for our family?" My mom asked while washing the meat. I am not new with this kind of conversation with her.

"Not really mom because I understood why you did it. Besides, I don't want to be the reason why you can't escape in a failing marriage. If that is what will make you happy, then I'm on board on that."

She kissed me on the forehead and hugged me tight. "I did fail my marriage, but I'm so happy that I didn't fail as a parent. Don't ever change, Tay. You and your siblings will always be my biggest accomplishment."

"We're getting cheesy mom. Let's start cooking dinner." I tried to escape from her hug but she showered me with kisses instead. "Mom!" I shouted while giggling.

The following day, I told my mom that I want to visit Hin again. She told me to bring a dinner box that I can share with him as a gift. I told her not to bother because he might not eat it if his parents are there. She insisted saying that he might feel hungry, so I can just simply leave it there and let him eat it afterwards.

Wearing my school uniform, I walk myself inside the hospital. Before I knocked the door, I took a deep breath first. I did three knocks before opening the door and I can say that disappointment is evident on my face as soon as I saw a different person arranging things instead.

"How can I help you?" she asked.

"Phi, where is the kid admitted in this room?"

I heard a noise coming from the comfort room beside me and I saw Hin walking outside. "Tay, you're here again?" I don't know why but suddenly, I felt relieved to see him. "You're looking for me?"

"But, wha-" I looked back to the woman who's arranging his bed.

"Don't worry. She's my cousin." He replied while the woman winked at me. "My parents are in Bangkok because of work. They asked my cousin P'Mae to look out for me. They'll be back again in three days, am I right?"

"Yes, they asked me to stay here from time being since grandmother and our other relatives are busy with the funeral." She replied while placing some beverages in the refrigerator.

"How about you? Are you not going to attend the ceremony?" I asked him.

"I'll attend on the last day with my parents." He answered. I guess he noticed the bag that I am carrying. "What is that?"

"Oh, my mom initiated to bring dinner for us. I told her not to since your parents might be here but I guess she initiated the right thing to do."

"That's so sweet of her. Please say thank you for me." I gave him the bag containing the food that she cooked earlier. With the size of the containers, I guess it can satisfy the three of us. "Come, let's eat."

For the next two days, the same scenarios happened. I am going to the hospital to bring food for him as per my mom's offer. As expected, he liked the food because my mom and I are good cook.

But little did he know, I prepared the food that I am bringing today for him. I hope he will like it because this is the first time that I cooked for someone else aside from my family of course.

I knocked on the door again and I saw him on his bed.

"Hello," I greeted while walking.

"You're here again. The dedication to visit me every day is astonishing huh." He joked while sitting himself up on his bed.

"How are you feeling today?" I asked him while sitting beside him.

"Good, but I feel uneasy knowing that tomorrow, I'll be going back to Bangkok after the ceremony."

I was about to bring out the containers when suddenly, my body freeze. "W-What?"

"Yeah, it sucks because my parents told me that a specialist is waiting for me there." He helped me bringing out with the food when he stood up and picked up the bag.

"You can just tell them that you are okay already so that you can stay here for a little longer."

"Well, I'm moving back to Bangkok and continue my studies there. My parents are out today to fix my transfer papers. My grandmother is too old to take care of me anyways." He replied while fixing the dining table. "Why, are you going to miss me?" He smiled a little.

"Of course, I am. I want to be your friend but I guess that's not going to be possible now that you are moving back to Bangkok."

"Don't worry, I can still go back here every summer vacation to visit my grandmother. We can still keep in touch via text message if you want." He went to the drawer and wrote something. "Here, here's my number."

He handed me the paper which I accepted and stared at the piece of paper that I am holding. For some reasons, I feel excited to befriend him and somehow, I can keep in touch with him even though he is miles away.

When it's time for me to go home, I packed the containers back to my bag. I am happy that he liked the food. At first, he didn't believe me when I said that I cooked it for him.

"I guess we'll see each other again during your summer vacation."

"Three months isn't that long, don't worry." He smiled while drinking water. "Just live your life to the fullest for the mean time." I've been given a second life, so I will surely live every moment of it and waste no opportunities.

I smiled.

Then, out of no where he gave me a hug which I don't know why he did that. I am just standing here in shock not knowing what to do next. "I'm glad that you survived. I don't think my conscience can take it if I also lost you that night."

Hearing those words, my heart start beating faster.

"I can't wait to come back here. Wait for me, okay?"

"Okay." I said while wrapping my arms around him.

Just like what he asked me to do, I waited for him but for some reasons, we lost contact to each other on that same day that he left for Bangkok. The number that he gave me is out of reach when I tried to call.

I don't have any contact with him ever since. I tried to ask for his full name but the nurses can't give any personal information of their patients.

Years past and I am still hopeful that one day he'll go back in Chiang Mai. My eagerness to know his whereabouts just became stronger.

He said that he'll come back. That's the lone thing that I am holding to.

His promise.

But as months turns to years, I decided to at least do something. That's why when it's time for me to go into college, I told my mother that I want to study in Bangkok.

Because my grades are good and I managed to pass every entrance examination that I applied for, I have so many options. At first, I want to go to University of Bangkok since they are known for business courses. He could be studying there since his family own business ventures.

But sadly, they can only support half of my tuition fee since slots are already taken for full scholarship. I want to grab the opportunity but I am not sure if my mom can support all the three of us at the same time.

That is why I decided to go to Chulakorn University. They have full scholarship for me with inclusive of allowance.

I decided to pursue International Studies for my bachelor's degree and if fate will allow me, I can pursue law after.

But fate said no.

Since I am already done with my homework, I still need to wait for almost two hours for my next class. Because it is scorching hot outside, I decided to go somewhere cold. The library is literally on the other side of the university and the closest building right now is the Faculty of Arts.

I saw a poster outside of the auditorium and it seems like they are holding an audition for this year's production. The air condition inside the auditorium is extremely cold sometimes so I can stay here while waiting for my next class.

I opened my messenger and one of my block mates invited us for lunch since it is his birthday. I was about to go out when suddenly I heard someone introduced himself.

"Sawasdee kap, my name is New Thitipoom Techaapaikhun, a first year Fine Arts student." Then a huge silence followed.

"Nice to meet you, New. Please begin when you are ready,"

I don't know why but my eyes are fixed to the guy reciting in front of me right now. For a very short monologue, he managed to deliver the right emotions that his lines needed.

Then the judges panel started giving their comments. My heart started pounding faster when I recognized that smile.

When my brain recognized that smile, it's like everything automatically came back from my memory. It's been ten or eleven years since I saw him and now, he is in front of me.

"It's you, Hin," I whispered to myself.

It is unfortunate that he didn't get the part that he auditioned for. If I were to asked, he nailed that monologue better than the other guy. He should have got that part, hands down.

I can see it in his eyes that he is devastated with what happened. But thankfully, someone is there to stood up for him.

I wish I could do the same but that will be weird if I barge in to their conversation out of nowhere. Besides, the guy who got the part has so many fans. I don't want to pissed them off.

It feels surreal to know that we are attending the same university. Following him at the campus is not a good idea to do because I don't want to scare him.

Seeing him from time to time in the campus is already enough for me. I will introduce myself to him once I got the chance.

But that chance got stripped off when I became busy with my course. I didn't expect my loads every semester will be this full. Then, a talent manager scouted me and asked me if I want to be part of his pool of talents. He gave me his card from MGM Entertainment and because I also have a dream to fulfil for my family, I decided to give it a try.

For the next three years in college, my life revolved around my studies and workshops that MGM Entertainment is arranging three times a week.

The same month I graduated college, MGM Entertainment debuted me together with other talents that they honed for three years as their next big stars.

I never had the chance to see Hin again.

His friend though, Mild, is part of my fans club. She is like the president who takes care of every thing specially for my international fans. I became busier when projects start to line up for me. I've done series, commercials, brand deals and events. It's been a whirlwind of an experience for me.

But I guess the higher you get, the harder your downfall is. Even though several recognitions are under my belt, I felt like I am just doing this acting because I have to. Two years since my debut, I am not enjoying anymore the experience. Because I want to give my family the luxury that I know I can give, every opportunity that comes, I am going for it.

Critics starting to criticize my acting. The production that I am working for seems like they are giving me the bare minimum because I am doing the same. Even though they are different series, it feels like I am playing the same characters every time.

For the first time, I felt disappointed of myself.

Projects started to cancel, brand deals are no longer renewing the contracts, and it seems like I lost myself not only on my professional life, but same goes with my personal life.

MGM Entertainment wants to rebrand the company. After a series of changes, they decided to set the bar for everyone. They want to be the trailblazer for putting a brand new genre of drama in the mainstream industry.

Starting next year, they want to introduce to the market the boy love series. They are planning to debut four bl couples and they tapped me to be part of it.

As a thank you for my loyal fans and supporter, I decided to organize a meet and greet. This is for them, my fans for motivating me to fight even though sometimes I want to give up.

I was walking backstage to go to the bathroom when I received a text message from my manager. He told me that Gun is backing out from the project. I am confused and everything when suddenly, I bumped into someone and a whole tumbler of water poured out to me.

"I-I'm sorry. Ah, I'm really sorry. I did not saw you because I was drinking water." I am looking down on my t-shirt because it is soaking wet.

"Next time, stop walking while drinking. And how come you are here. This is a VIP area only." I exclaimed while not giving a fuck about him, draining the lower part of my shirt.

He then showed me his ID pass and my eyes suddenly widened when I saw his picture and name. I looked up to see if he is really him and right in front of me is the person I've been waiting to encounter again after fifteen long years.

And then the rest is history. The next thing I know, I've been spending more time with him. Sadly, he cannot remember me or recognize me but I don't have to worry about that. I will just enjoy every moment with him because it's been too long.

When he said that he is planning to study for his master's abroad, of course I felt uneasy about it because it reminded me of what happened before. But things already changed. Communication is not that difficult anymore unlike before.

Besides, it is for his own growth. I don't have the right to stop him from achieving his dreams and if he thinks that attaining a master's in acting will be his stepping stone, then he should go for it.

One day, I received a text message asking me to come over to a restaurant for a conversation. It is New's parents.

I told Off to drop me off there to meet with them. They managed to have my contact details through my manager.

I greeted them formally before talking. "It's been fifteen years sir, ma'am."

"Call us auntie and uncle." His dad offered. I just nodded.

"We called you here to tell you something." New's mom is still intimidating after all these years.

"W-What is it, auntie?"

"You're seeing my son, right?" She asked.

"Yes, I am." I timidly replied.

"Did he recognize who you are?" she followed.

"Sadly, he can't remember me. Did something happen to New, auntie?"

She looked at her husband who is holding her hand. "Yes, and I feel like you need to know too what really happened. I want to invite you in a dinner with us, when are you free?"

"I-I am free anytime, auntie."

After a series of tribulations, that day has finally come. When my mom and grandmother heard about my plans with Hin's parents, they insisted to come with us to personally thank him. They didn't have the chance to do so before because he went back to Bangkok.

I asked P'Mark my plans for this evening and he insisted to drive me since he has somewhere to go along the way. I thank him for the ride and he asked me to go to the office tomorrow morning for an early meeting with the organizers of the event on New Year's Eve.

While walking, I saw someone outside the house. It's New and it seems like he is waiting for me. When he saw me, I smiled and waved my hands.

He ran towards me and suddenly gave me a very tight hug.

"I'm sorry for keeping you waiting for a very long time." He said in a very soft voice.

To which I replied, "You're special to me. I will wait no matter how long it will take."


	23. Identity

I planned on posting this chapter during New's birthday but because I decided to change things up, I posted it today. I can't believe that it is already 95k words. Who would have thought that I can write a full length novel in STRAIGHT ENGLISH. LOL But yeah, enjoy this chapter guys.

Have a nice day ahead~

CHAPTER 22

The dinner last night went well. Tay's family is very easy to get along with specially his sister. She was by side all throughout the night talking to me. I can already remember majority from that night, until those days that I shared with Tay.

Because of my stupidity, my parents thought that I was still in a state of shock or trauma because I am not talking to them. So, they asked a family friend doctor to perform hypnosis for me to temporarily bury the memories of the accident.

According to the doctor last night when we had a video chat, hypnosis is starting to emerge at that time that people who suffers trauma or guilt choose to do undergo that process to ease their feelings and start living again as if nothing bothers them before.

My mom let me watched a clip of the hypnosis where the doctor asked me a series of question. He asked me about the accident which I responded that it hurts me a lot because I lost someone who I truly love. I am very close to my grandfather because he took care of me together with my grandmother when I was growing up.

But what he asked me next may be the reason why I forgot about Tay's existence.

He asked me if there's a memory that I will bring moving forward from the night of the accident. I answered him yes. He didn't ask about it and he just simply instructed me to go deep and bury that memory. Everything, he asked me to remove it from my memory as if it didn't happen.

And then I woke up from the hypnosis.

I guess my parents told him what I underwent and assumed that the accident really affected me ever since.

I swear to heavens if I could just smack my twelve year-old self from the iPad, I already did. Because I am trying hard to gain my parents attention, it just messed up everything. I think my friendship with Tay that time is the thing that I want to bring as I move forward after the accident.

Yes, losing my grandfather hurt a lot but I already accepted that when I was in the hospital. I am ready to continue with my life, but because of my own stupidity I lost something more valuable.

The doctor and I had a videocall last night and he told me that once he is back in Bangkok, he can perform again a hypnosis for me to completely remember everything. I told him not to worry because I can already remember majority of the memories that I lost.

"Now it makes sense why you can see his remaining days. It is because you are like destined for each other!" Mild exclaimed while walking our way to MGM Building. Jumpol asked us last night to go here without going in full details.

"I guess that connection started when I felt thankful that he survived that night. I am so ready to build a friendship with him even though we are going to be miles away from each other."

"Imagine meeting your soulmate at the age of 12? And because you forgot about him, destiny lead you back to him. It is like a freaking fairytale or something," as much as I want to feel excited about what she said, I still have one problem to deal with.

"I already found answer about my connection with Tay. The only question I have left to ask is why I can see my remaining days and I can't see his?"

Then, her facial expression changed. I guess she is living the moment with my life story that she already forgot what I am about to face in three days or so. "Don't you think it's connected with what happened fifteen years ago?"

"I don't think so. Because if that's the case, why I can see mine and not his. Meaning, it is really my fate which will be determined not his."

"Or maybe this time around, he needs to save you." I stopped from walking when I heard what she said. "Did you tell him about it? That you can't see his anymore and your time is running out?"

"I don't know. There's a part of me that don't want to tell him because it is my own problem to deal with but now that you said that, I might reconsider doing it."

As we step our feet inside the office of MGM, the festive ambiance is evident. Everyone is still wearing a Christmas hat and they are just simply having fun while doing their individual activities. The person who asked us to come here is MIA so we just decided to wait for him here.

Then moments later he entered the office. "Mild, Newwiee, what are you doing here?" He asked while smiling.

I chuckled before raising my eyebrows, "What do you mean what are we doing here. You asked us last night to meet you here, dumbass."

"Huh? Really?" he gave us a surprised face.

"You said in our group chat that you want to meet us here. Are you drunk or something?" Mild nagged.

He then opened his phone and I guess he is browsing his LINE account. "I forgot about it. Hehe, sorry."

I gave him a seriously? face. "Don't tell me you drunk text us last night that's why you can't remember?"

"Yeah, I think that's the case." He said why scratching the back of his head.

"Jumpol, you should stop drinking already. I know that I don't have any right to police you with your life but it's not healthy to go out every night and have a boy's night out. Don't depend your life on alcohol, please." I pleaded. After the shooting for the mockup trailer, Jumpol is always present with every celebrity parties if he's not with his friends. He started being party animal when he went back here in Thailand, so I guess it is safe to say that this is his way of moving on.

But not a very healthy way of doing so.

"So now what? I don't want to go back to that lonely unit and waste half of my day for nothing." I then focused my attention on Mild, "any backup plan?" I asked her.

"I saw an advertisement last night on Instagram about the Christmas fair in CU. You want to go there?"

I then remembered a picture circulating on my timeline, "That's a good idea. I think I saw their post couple of days ago. They are doing a Christmas fair and the proceeds from that will be donated to various charities of each faculties.

Like what Mild suggested, we went to Chulakorn University to attend their Christmas Fair. Since the university is open to everyone, we don't need to present any ID or alumni card.

Thank heavens because my card is inside the drawer somewhere in my room.

I haven't walked the hallways of CU for good two years. Everything is the same aside from the newly painted walls and light post.

As expected, there are many people wandering the campus. Aside from the fair, this is actually a good time for some students to look at some facilities since enrollment will start for second semester soon. So, if they want to transfer, they have the freedom to check the ambiance of the school since every facility are open for public exposure today.

Mild, Jumpol and I are just walking the hallways when suddenly, they suggested to go to the covered court where usually some ball games are being held.

People are scattered everywhere but there are no booths here. This place is very monumental for me. This is our favorite spot during our college days. If we want to escape the noise outside, we are sitting here every break in silence. No one occupies this unless there's an exhibition match or whatnot.

"Our favorite spot in the campus." I told her.

"Yes. This gymnasium witnessed every tears, laughter, stress and alterations during our college years. Which is why I brought you here." She said while side hugging me. "And also, they wanted to meet you."

"Who?"

Then suddenly, everyone assumed their position. Magically, everyone is carrying banners, pictures, flowers, and gifts. I read the biggest banner that they are holding and it says New Thitipoom FC.

"W-What is this?" I don't know why I asked that because it is pretty obvious already what it is but I guess for dramatic conversation?

"They are your fans and supporters. They organized this mini fan meet for you and since you are an alum of CU, they want you to know that they garnered a total of fifty thousand baht which will be given to the school on your behalf." She explained. I am in awe. We are walking our way to them and it is evident to their faces the excitement and joy to see me.

"We asked for P'Mild to help us with this surprise for you, P'New. This is the first project of New Thitipoom FC – Thailand Chapter and expect more to come, phi." One of them said.

"I don't even know why you guys are doing this but I am really surprised with all of these. I appreciate this a lot. Thank you so much." I told them while smiling from ear to ear.

"You've done so many good things Phi. You saved P'Tay and took a stand for him which not everyone can do in the showbiz. We're talking about how you ended that assistant director's career and not everyone is brave enough to do that. That's when we realize to form a support system for you." The lady in the middle explained which I assume is their leader since he is holding the plaque of recognition.

"I am really thankful to each and everyone of you all. But you don't have to put it under my name though. It's your own money guys so it should be under your fans club's name." I told them.

The lady scratched the back of her head, "but they already engraved the name on the plaque Phi."

"Next time we will do that, P'New." The person beside her said.

I smiled. "Let's take some pictures."

Jumpol and Mild then volunteered to take our photos. I seated my position while posing for the cameras with them. After the picture taking, I made sure that I reached out to every single one of them and thanked them personally for what they did today. Some of them asked for solo pictures which I am also down for.

Mild is talking with the president of the FC while some of them are bombarding Jumpol on the other side of the gym. Looking at them, I then remembered that the news about his engagement being called off is surprisingly not yet known by the media outlets. Well, he didn't even announce to the public about his wedding plans. Based on what he said to us, he will post a message on his Instagram supposedly one week before his marriage. Then, he will return to Thailand as a married man.

I don't know how his fans will receive that if ever but if Jumpol wanted his wedding to be that private, then I guess they need to respect his decision.

Some of them asked for an autograph on their posters which I did. They are so warm to me and easy to get along with. One person asked if I will be guesting on Tay's New Year's Eve countdown since it is quite a conversation on social media these past few days when the organizers announced a special guest.

I told them the truth, that they reached out to me but I am not sure about it yet. Because hello, I want to survive the New Year. Maybe someone from his co-actors before will appear. I don't know if I will go since the MGM Event and the Year Ender countdown is just hours apart. Maybe, if I declined the offer, they already lined up someone to be his special guest.

"Phi, is it okay to ask why are you not going to reprise the role for P'Off's project? Someone leaked that information on Twitter and we are curious why they chopped you off." The lady asked.

I smiled, "they didn't chop me off. I told them that I will not be going to since I will fly to the US to pursue a two-year course in Performance Art."

All of them gasped. "Wait what?"

"Yes, P'backaof said that they can do something to arrange the filming schedule so I can join them but I think that's not necessary to do since my role is supporting character and not really that vital to the story. Who knows, I can just simply guest star or something." I tried to bring light to the conversation because it is evident that they are sad about the news that I just broke out.

"Let's just think of it as a military service like our Korean oppas. Time flies so fast nowadays." One of them said in a teasing manner which made me smile.

"Don't worry, Phi. We will wait for your comeback. It's never wrong to fulfil your dreams so I understand your decision." One of them said while everyone nodded in support on her statement.

"Thank you, guys. When in doubt, I will surely go back to this moment that I spent with you all to remind me that even the world is against me, there are still people out there who support me." I don't know why but I started extending my arms to them, asking for a hug and one by one, they all gathered around me giving me the warmest hug that I experienced so far.

Since there is like twenty or thirty people here today, I asked them if they already ate lunch. Some of them said that there are some plans but they are still in talks about the place.

"I know a restaurant somewhere in Samsen Nok. Are you all down for a lunch date with us there? Don't worry, it's my treat." I offered to them.

"S-Sure P'New!"

"Are you going Sam?" The lady asked her gay friend, it is evident that she is shy about going.

"Ghurl, it's free of course I will always coaster on that." they joked to her friend.

"Well, we can't fit to my car but let's just do this. Who's down for a bus ride?" and they raised their hands. I gave Jumpol the keys to my car so that they can go to the restaurant in advance. I made a call first to Aunt Jane and she told me that they'll reserve half of the establishment for us. Since there is many of us, they'll just prepare the buffet and we can choose what to eat.

Thirty minutes later, we all arrived at the restaurant. Some of them cannot come because they have to go home already or they have prior commitment. Based on my counting, all of us including Jumpol and Mild are 27 in total.

The energy inside the restaurant is so uplifting. We are having conversation and story telling while enjoying the lunch. Some of them shared that Tay really helped them a lot to focus on their studies because that is what he always tells them to do in every fan meeting that he attended. He doesn't want them to invest all their time to him or else he will be very sad.

A senior high student then said that he decided to pursue Performing Arts as his course in college even though his parents are against it at first. He told them that he might regret his decision if he choose Engineering which is not really on his list. He got inspired when he saw that video of mine.

"I decided to pursue Fine Arts because that's my talent. But Performing Arts is my passion. They are not really supported with the idea of me taking my passion as a course in College because they only saw it as a hobby for doing theater plays whatsoever. They never saw the talent in every performance that they watched during school recitals." I started. "Maybe because I was just having fun doing it during high school days without realizing that I need to channel emotions and embody the character that is given to me. Besides, who will take high school plays seriously? I regret that I didn't realize it early. It was already too late. I realized that acting is my passion during the same day that I lost the audition."

"During that time, Newwiee take things in a different way. He thought that his passion is not valid. That he is just living in that moment where everyone's eyes are focused on him. That the spotlight is his. That rejection is like a message from the heavens that it is not really for him. Since then, he never did acting again." Mild put her head on my shoulder. "But I know that it is not true. Acting is his passion, I saw it that day. I can see it every time he gave comments about how bad the acting that he is seeing. Or how a character from a television series affects his emotion. The passion is just hiding somewhere and here we are today. It was reignited."

"It is never wrong to choose your own happiness and always speak your truth okay? So that you will never have any regrets in the future," I told them.

"But what if our parents are still against it. What should we do?" One of them asked.

I turned my attention to him and smiled, "It's fun to have a detour sometimes. A no is not a rejection. Think of it as an opportunity to learn more about what you truly want in life. Time will come that you will be independent enough to pursue what you really want."

"Phi, you really give good advices. Are you sure you sure you're not a life counselor or something?" one of them tried to crack a joke.

"Well, in case that acting will not work out for me, after two years I will open my office somewhere and give you all my calling card for some counselling, how about that?" and we all laughed.

Again, we took some group photos and spend the rest of the afternoon having conversations here and there. We finished around three and one by one, they all bid goodbyes to us. Off is surprisingly quiet the whole day.

"Jumpol, are you okay? You're too quiet today." I asked him.

"Yeah, I'm just thinking a lot lately. You know." He shrugged his grim face and smiled.

"Is it about your series?" Mild questioned while pinching his side knowing where his weakness is.

He giggled, "yeah. Sort of. But don't worry. I'm doing fine. Where are we going next?" he said back.

"I want to go back to MGM office. I haven't had a decent conversation with Tay last night." They faces changed as if they are waiting for me to say something that will satisfy their ears. "Okay, I want to see him because I missed him a lot these past few days. Satisfied?"

"Ohhh I wish I recorded that." Jumpol said while going inside the car.

As we came back inside the building, Mild asked us if we want to see the acting workshop happening inside the Creative Spaces Workroom, a newly rehabilitated facility that MGM opened three days ago.

Entering the big room, I can say that it is like a studio as well because there are mirrors on the wall for dancers, microphone stands for singers and mini stage or something which I assume are for actors who will be doing their lines.

According to Mild, this acting workshop is for the series that will replace a lakorn drama that is currently airing every Sunday evening. My eyes immediately focused on the lady wearing a red bolero, black tube and white oversized pants. It's P'Jennie. I didn't know that aside from hosting she is also doing acting.

I guess everyone here in MGM are so efficient that they can do everything from hosting, singing, dancing and acting. The role that was given to her is a transwoman who is fighting for her love. Talking about inclusivity, MGM is really starting to rebrand themselves.

When they finished their workshop, one by one, the cast of the series left aside from P'Jennie. She will be hosted the MGM event happening on the 31st together with P'Leo. They will be running a dress rehearsal of the whole program today for the performance. There will be dancers and singers who will perform aside from the introduction of the series.

My jaw almost dropped the floor when I saw P'Jennie removing her bolero and started dancing with the dancers. She is very good dancer. If my ears identified it correctly, they will be performing a KPOP song from the girl group TWICE. But because of copyright purposes, I guess they are playing a remix or something.

We are walking outside the halls when we saw P'Mark waiting at the elevator. "Phi," I called him.

"New. Thank God you are here. I forgot my phone at the car that Tay is using right now. I need you." He seems bothered or something.

"Why, phi. What is happening?" I asked.

"The police already identified the suspects of the assault after weeks of thoroughly investigation." He mocked up the work thoroughly because imagine it took them three weeks or so to identify the assailants? "Can you come with me? You faced them, right? Maybe you can identify some of their faces so that we can start pressing some charges."

"I mean I can only remember some of them." I told him honestly.

"That's fine. As long as we condemn one of them, the rest will follow since they are not stopping from searching the CCTVS around the area."

"Oh okay, phi. I can go with you."

The four of us went to the police station. They presented fifteen pictures of different individuals. This is too much because if I am not mistaken, they are only around seven that night.

"They are the potential assailants of Mr. Vihokratana that night. They are a gang who causes trouble around that area. The motive if still unknown but we can guarantee that their target is really Mr. Vihokratana." The officer started. "Can you help us identify the seven person who ganged up Mr. Tay Tawan?"

Seeing their pictures, my memories recalled their individual faces in a snap. I started pulling out pictures one by one until I completed the seven guys that they are looking for.

"Phuravich Asarit alias Son, Mariwit Jariposiwat alias Mark, Yojisef Poliwat alias Paul, Borisajut Rongoimarawakul alias Bond, Chariwamotikul Lepimawasakul alias Life, Thanatsaran Samthonglai alias Frank and their leader Artvitasamson Thanavit alias Art. Some of them are studying in a university in Bangkok while others are out of school youth. We are already tracking their group activities. Someone reported a bar incident somewhere in Bang Kapi District and they said that one of the gang members are responsible for the fight that happened." The officer narrated.

"Are they all participant with Mr. Tay Tawan's assault?" His co-officer asked.

"I am not sure because I came there already late. Some men are beating Tay to death. But one of them is not participating though. I guess he's a look out or something." I picked up the picture of the man that I saw not participating with the beat up. "This one. Alias Frank."

"Alright, thank you so much for your time. We will call you if we have some follow up progress on this case.

One by one, I send them off to their destinations. P'Mark thanked me for what I did today and told him that he'll be keep in touch with me with whatever the police will report to him.

Entering my unit, there is a lot going on my mind right now. I can't believe that it took them weeks to give us the details of the assailants but at the same time, I am thankful because justice will soon to be served.

But, one name keeps ringing in my head. I just can't pinpoint who it is from those seven dudes. I think I heard the name Frank before or that Art. It's between those two.

It feels like I already encountered one of them.


	24. Promise

I'm so sorry for not updating for the past 10 days or so. How are you doing guys? Happy Valentine's day. Well. Let me explain. The reason why I failed to update for almost two weeks is because I participated in a TayNew Anthology, a special project. I wrote something for them but I cannot post them yet. I am quite happy with my entry and I am also grateful to be part of this project.

Anyways, Thank you for the support that you gave to my "trailer" and because of that, here we are 

R-18: Read at your own risk

Please forgive me with my sloppy writing. This is new to me. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Enjoy~

CHAPTER 23

Tomorrow is the MGM event. So, Mild and I decided to go shopping last minute for our outfit tomorrow. Category is Midnight Lover eleganza. I don't really know what that means but according to P'Jennie the attire should be sophisticated or daring.

I guess my attire tomorrow will be simple since I am not really part of the cast. I am just there for special appearance. The thing is I am torn between wearing black or wearing any shades of blue. Black is like the first thing that comes to your mind when you mention the word sophisticated.

Then it's blue for me.

Mild's plan is wearing this gown with a huge slit on the side. She wants me to choose something that can compliment her body and I told her that a black evening gown with an off shoulder could be a nice choice for her.

After our shopping, she asked me if I am down for lunch since she haven't had her breakfast yet and it is already twelve noon. I agreed to her and decided to eat tonkatsu because I am craving for some these past few days.

"Where are you heading?" she asked me after we paid our food.

"I want to surprise Tay in the office. He's been very busy lately and I just want to see him." I replied while picking up our shopping bags.

"Are you going to tell him already?"

"I guess so. I have no other choice. I will just look for a good opportunity to open the topic so that it will not be shocking for him. The last thing that I want is to be a distraction to him."

I drove her home first before going back to office to drop everything at her house. I will be sleeping over tonight since a glam team will help her tomorrow preparing and I can use some help to.

As I entered the office, the first thing that I saw is Off and Gun having a conversation with P'backaof. I am just wandering my sight around the office to see if Tay is here since our last conversation happened 3 hours ago where he mentioned that he will be here today for a shooting.

I am just walking inside when I heard someone's familiar laugh. I went to that cubicle and saw Tay laughing with P'Jennie, P'Godji and P'Golf. When our eyes meet, I waved my hands and smiled. He excused himself from the conversation and walked towards me.

"Hin, what are you doing here?" he asked surprisingly.

"We haven't seen each other since the dinner so I decided to go here." I gave a timid smile, "and I miss you."

I guess he got caught off guard with that one based on his facial expression but he pursed a smile eventually.

"I miss you too."

TV guesting, radio programs, photoshoot, brand campaign, livestreams and practice, that is how his week has been so far. Which is why after the dinner, we barely met each other since most of his commitments are outside MGM.

Slowly he leaned his head towards my chest. "Are you tired?" I asked.

"Hmm mmm." He murmured. "I just finished taping my last guesting for the year. It will air tomorrow evening right in time before the year ends." He giggled.

I held his cheeks and pinched it softly. "You look tired and hungry. Have you had your lunch?"

"Not yet? How about you?" We started walking towards the doorway.

"I already eat but I want some dessert. Let's go out, how about that?"

"Sure, I'm down for that." He exclaimed.

Mild mentioned before that her friend opened up a business near MGM building and it is just walking distance. We went outside and decided to go to that restaurant. Tay mentioned that he is already done for the day but he is just waiting for P'Mark's call if he can already go home because he might have some unexpected commitment since some agents are asking for his availability for this week.

He ordered ramen while I settled with caramel bingsu topped with crushed grahams and mango tidbits. I am just looking at him while he is slurping the noodles. "Why are you staring at me like that? You want some?" he offered.

"No, silly. I just can't believe everything that happened. It is like I starred in my own lakorn drama or something." I expressed jokingly.

"I already thought about the idea of telling everything to you beforehand. But I realized that I am okay with what we have for now and just enjoy every moment with you. I cannot simply do that without your parents' permission."

I can't help but to draw a smile on my face. "You are really something."

"Why? What do you mean by that?"

"You always rely your decision to my welfare, I mean can't you be selfish sometimes? It is making me feel bad sometimes that you are being this effort and thoughtful that I don't know how to match those things."

"But you don't have to do that. I am doing all of these wholeheartedly. I know that you have things to focus more and if you think that it will be difficult for you to balance your studies and being in a relationship, then I respect that. Besides," he then reached my hands. "Spending moments with you like this is already enough."

I want to do something for him. Not because I feel bad but because I simply want to do so. After we eat at the restaurant, we thanked P'June, Mild's friend for the service and delicious food and went outside.

"What are you planning to wear tomorrow?" I asked him.

"For the year-end countdown event?" I nodded. "Well, they said that they will prepare my outfit so I don't have to worry about that one."

"Tell them that you will bring your outfit tomorrow because we are going to the mall." I commanded him. I am grabbing his hand back to MGM parking lot.

"What are you doing?" He asked while laughing.

"I'm going to treat you today, baby." I teased him while holding back my laughter.

"B-Baby?" He stopped from walking. You know those scenes from the movies where the protagonist pulled his lover back? That is what his doing right now. He nailed his feet from the ground and stopped me from walking further. He pulled my arms back and we are facing each other, our faces are couple of inches away. "You're calling yourself daddy?" He asked foolishly.

I rolled my eyes and smirked. "What do you want me to call you then, Daddy??" I asked sarcastically.

We are so close to each other that I can feel him breathing. "Well, we can work on that." He fired back teasingly.

I raised my eyebrows and poked his nose. "Silly. Let's go, I don't want to get stuck on traffic."

"What was that for?" He questioned while laughing, allowing his whole body get dragged back to the building.

"That is for misbehaving." I answered while panting heavily because he is making it hard for me to drag him. "People who behave well get rewarded. People who don't get punished."

And instantly he walked on his own, pulling me inside the building. "I will behave well then." He voiced out.

We arrived after fifteen minutes. While looking for some shop to go with, I am already imagining him tomorrow evening and what is the look that I want him to show off.

I asked him what will be his color scheme for the event and he told me that it will be red and white. "Are you celebrating Lunar New Year or something?"

"Well, that is the sponsor's colors so I have no other choice." He explained while looking at the rack of long sleeves.

"Geez," I am deliberating with myself if he is going to wear it as it is or he will wear something else above it. "Where is this event going to happen again?"

"They are already preparing the stage outside the mall I guess in the activity area or something."

Which means it is open air. Is wearing suit too much? I think wearing the long sleeves as it is will be fine. I am looking at him trying to imagine what will he look like with the idea that I come up with.

"A plain red long sleeve polo which is one size bigger than you so that we can tuck it in. White pants with black belt? Accessories, you can wear a silver necklace. And I want you to unbutton the first two buttons of the shirt. You look sexy that way." I said while waiting for him to come out of the changing room.

After couple of minutes in the changing room, he walked out wearing it with the way I described it earlier. For a brief moment, I experienced that slow motion that people talked about. He is so stunning in red. His facial feature is more appealing and with the way that he brushed up his hair added to the sexiness that he already possessed.

"So, how was it?" he asked innocently.

"You look stunning," I replied honestly while he turns around for me to see every angle of him.

"Do I look handsome in red?" He asked while biting his lower lip, waiting for the compliment that he is fishing.

"You are already handsome as it is. You don't have to wear all of these to look one." I answered briefly while fixing his tuck in.

"How about you? What are you going to wear tomorrow?" He went back inside and looked in front of the mirror.

"Mild already have my outfit. I'll be sleeping over to her house later."

"Oh okay. Too bad I can't be there for you tomorrow evening. We have to be on the venue as early as nine in the evening." He went back inside to change.

"That's okay. I'll be on the sideways anyway. Special participation if I may describe my stunt tomorrow evening," I lauded.

"You don't know P'backaof that much yet. For sure tomorrow he'll treat you more than the main leads. He'll be putting you on the spot. Be prepared just in case." Now that scared me. "He acknowledged your talent and he will share and tell that to everyone tomorrow for sure."

He is just giving me an heads up for sure.

When we outside the store, a pile of teenagers is waiting for us. I guess they saw us trying outfits and they waited for us to finish.

"P'New, P'Tay." They greeted us. "Can we ask for pictures?"

"Sure, I'm down for it. How about you, Te?" I asked him.

"Let's do it." He smiled and posed for the camera.

Some of them asked for individual pictures but majority want a group picture. I am just smiling while listening to them say nice things and compliments.

"P'New, what can you say about Tay's blooming career after all the controversies that he had this year?"

Hearing that question made me think about it. Tay faced a lot this year talking about controversies, drama, criticisms, and backlash. He did however manage to overcome all of that and look where he is right now. Booked and busy.

"You can never underestimate a person with a pure heart. He endured everything and made sure that he is still living up to the morals that he has. He never stooped down to the level of his haters and instead, encouraged his supporters to keep believing him. At the end of the day, he is doing all of this not for himself but his family and fans who keep supporting him." I replied to her and finished the statement with a glance on Tay who is just listening.

"P'New, when the news about you being hospitalized broke on the internet, the amount of support and prayers overflowed. Do you have something to say about that?"

I looked into her camera and delivered a short message. "Thank you for your support and for including me on your prayers. Don't worry, I am stronger than ever. Keep fighting and I can't wait to meet you all soon."

"One last thing, there are some haters out there who keep on insisting that you are just using P'Tay for clout, can we hear your opinion about that?" All of the sudden, the vibes went stiff. I can see some of the girls pinching the person who asked the question.

"I'm so sorry for that P'New, June sometimes don't know how to control his mouth." One of the ladies apologized.

"No, it's okay." I winked the person who asked the question to somehow ease his feeling. It is evident that he felt awkward and shy about it. "I mean it is no secret that there are some people out there who thinks that I am using Tay to make a name of my own. I cannot blame them though. Tay is a huge tv personality. Imagine the fame that one can get if they will be linked to his name."

I looked at him. "Just let them think that way. They judge me based on what they are seeing on the internet not knowing that my relationship with Tay is far deeper than that."

"What do you mean by that Phi? Are you two dating already?" And they all tried to contain their noises while waiting for us to answer the question.

"Tay is very special to me. That's all I have to say for now." I giggled.

"That is so showbiz answer, Phi." One of them joked.

"But I love it!" and we all laughed.

"P'Tay, what about you. What can you say about the overflowing support that P'New received?" I give my attention to Tay who the fan cam now focuses.

"I-I did not know that we are on Thai Entertainment News right now." I shook my head and laughed timidly. "But kidding aside, I am just happy that he is getting loved and acknowledged. He's a great and talented person and he deserves all of these."

"Will you be celebrating New Year's Eve together?"

"Nope. Actually, Hin will be attending the MGM event tomorrow which is why he could not participate tomorrow's New Year's Day countdown with me." Tay answered.

"OMG! P'New, are you going to have a drama series next year?" they shifted their attention back to me.

"Well, you have to wait and see." I replied shortly.

"We can't wait for tomorrow." They said in almost unison.

They expressed their gratitude for allotting some time with them and then bid farewell. I told Tay that I want to go to the supermarket to buy some ingredients for our dinner at Mild's later. He excused himself first since he needs to go to the restroom.

Waiting for him outside, I saw a jewelry shop not so far away. I approached the stall and inside the glass counter are rings, necklaces and earrings.

"Hi sir, how can I help you?"

"Do you have some sort of a promise ring or something like that?" I asked nicely while eyeing every piece of rings that I can see.

"Yes sir. May I ask, are you going to give it to someone like a friend or someone special?"

"Future boyfriend." I answered confidently.

"Oh, okay. Well, we have variety of rings here depending on your taste. Do you want something simple or do you want something that has a crystal or diamond on it?"

"I think a simple ring is fine."

She opened the glass counter and pulled out a set of silver rings. "You can choose from these." There are rings that has design on it a specific ring got my attention. I pulled it out of the velvet case to have a closer look. "A ring that will remind him sir that you love him, every day."

The word every day is engraved inside this plain silver ring. "I'll have this one."

"Okay, sir. Do you know his ring size?" Well, that's the thing. I don't know his ring size. I just smiled awkwardly and shook my head.

"You're buying something here?" his voice echoed behind me.

I looked at him, "yes. I want to buy you a ring but I don't know your size."

"Sir, is he the one you are talking about earlier?" I guess she knows Tay. I just nodded and winked.

"Talking about what?" he is puzzled.

I held his left hand and showed it to the lady. "I'll take one of that. This size please." I let her examine his left ring finger.

She smiled and looked for a ring that will fit Tay's finger. She went back carrying a small box. "I am a huge fan of yours, P'Tay. My boyfriend and I always watch your series every weekend to the point that sometimes he is getting jealous of you already."

"That jealousy, I hope he is not being mean to you when he does that." I told her.

"No, sir. Not at all. He will just sulk all night but the next day, he will cook breakfast for us." She replied. I opened the small blue velvet box and the ring that I want is inside of it. I pulled it out and reached for Tay's left hand.

"Late Christmas gift?" He asked.

I am not really a cheesy person but while putting the finger to his hand, the noise around me suddenly disappeared. As if we are in front of the altar already. Yes, my mind is already on that scenario.

"This will serve as a reminder and a promise that you have me and my love every single day. I may not be there physically but I hope this is enough for you to feel my love." After I put the ring on his finger, I looked at him almost teary eyed. "I don't know what the future is holding for the both of us, but I just want to let you know that I am thankful that you have been a part of my life for a very short time. You always say that you will wait for me. Now this is my promise to you, I will be back for you."

I can see that he is also starting to tear up. "Because you are part of my dream now."

I wiped his tears and laughed. "Tissue sir." When I looked at her, she is also tearing up.

"Why are we crying all of a sudden?" Tay asked while wiping his eye duct. "Payment?"

"Ah yes." I pulled out my card and gave it to her. "Here. I'm so sorry that you have to witness that."

"No, it's a privilege sir to be honest. It's not like everyday I can see two people being in love with each other like that. That is like a dream for a fangirl like me." She then put the velvet box inside of a small brown paper box. "Thank you, sir."

To be honest, I am scared. I am scared that I cannot fulfil my promise because of what is about to happen. But I will fight. I managed to do something about it before on other people, I can do it again. I can survive this.

I am bigger than my fears.

"What are you planning for dinner anyways?" He asked while holding my hands, not letting go of it since we left the store.

"I don't know. But there is something that I've been craving for a very long time."

"What is it?" He paused for a brief moment in the pork section.

"Spicy Pork Stew with Tofu." He turned around and looked at me recognizing the food that I've been longing to eat.

"The one that I used to bring to you at the hospital?"

"Yes. Before, I cannot pinpoint that food but I do remember the taste of it. I can remember it now." I pursed my lips and closed my eyes.

"You're so lucky, I know my mom's recipe for that." He chuckled.

"Yes!" I exclaimed like a child. "You can cook it for me and I will just bring it to Mild's. I forgot my skincare products at home, so I have to go back and pick it up."

"Sure." The way he said that is so sexy. I am just following him while picking the ingredients he will be needing.

After our shopping experience, we went straight to the parking lot since it is already getting dark and we don't want to get stuck in traffic. I told Mild that I will go back for my things and bring our dinner that Tay will cook for us. She had an unexpected meeting and will go out for dinner. But because Tay prepared it for us, she will not eat that much and will have some of it later.

When we arrived, I let Tay command the kitchen while I pack some of my things in my room. Toner, serum, lotion and night cream. I made sure that I packed it all in.

While he is preparing for the food, I just sat in the couch and opened my Twitter account to see what is happening. The very first thing that appeared in my timeline is a picture of Tay and I walking around the mall.

[@hello_cutienina quote tweeted: Ooops. I guess they went shopping. So that's the reason why user Tay Tawan is inactive.]

[@whatdawhale_tawan replied to @hello_cutienina: Someone saw them in the supermarket, holding hands.]

[@hello_cutienina replied to @whatdawhale_tawan: Oooop... talking about being brave. Pic or not true.]

[@whatdawhale_tawan replied to @hello_cutienina: See it for yourself then.]

And attached to that tweet is a picture of us holding hands near the meat section. The said picture is circulating online and so far, has over 7.2k likes and 3.1k retweets. I went to the original tweet to see how people responded to it.

[@funfuntawan replied: I haven't seen him this happy. This is making me emotional wtf.]

[@taytwnofc replied: They look so cute together. As long as he is happy, I am happy for him too. Now when is the wedding? 555555+]

[@OfficialTawanTH replied: Someone saw them in a jewelry shop earlier. They said New bought him a ring. They tried to ask the lady what ring is that but she refused to say anything.]

[@hello_cutienina replied to @OfficialTawanTH: A ring? You're kidding right? What ring? *acting surprised*]

[@OfficialTawanTH replied to @hellocutie_nina: I know, Nina. It's long overdue already. 55555+]

[@ttwntwt replied to @OfficialTawanTH and @hellocutie_nina: Did you see that short interview? My goodness, I cannot with those two.]

[@hellocutie_nina replied to @ttwntwt and @Official TawanTH: I can't even finish the first five seconds. The way Tay looks at New it screams whipped like a whipped cream. Ugggh.]

[@OfficialTawanTH replied to @ttwntwt and @hellocutie_nina: They don't have to be that obvious. But kidding aside, I am happy for them. I just hope things will go along the way for the both of them.]

[@ttwntwt replied to @OfficialTawanTH and @hellocutie_nina: Preach. I will give merit for the both of them.],

[@hellocutie_nina replied to @ttwntwt and @OfficialTawanTH: Seeing them together warms my heart. I am really rooting for them.]

[@whatdawhale_tawan replied to @hellocutie_nina, @ttwntwt and @OfficialTawanTH: According to the fc, Newwiee will attend tomorrow's MGM event. I guess their series is included for MGM 2019's lineup.]

[@hellocutie_nina replied to @whatdawhale_tawan: OMG! So, we're going to see actor Newwiee soon?]

Suddenly, I felt bad because of what I just read. I hope they understand the decision that I will make. I just turned off my phone and opened the television to distract myself. After half an hour, Tay finished cooking our dinner. I have some leftover rice from last night that I can just reheat for us.

After one bite, all the memories flashback instantly. Of course, his mom's version is the best but this is also delicious. He is just looking at me while I devour the bowl of rice and pork stew. "This is so delicious, Te. I love it."

"Slow down. You are not running on a marathon. Eat slowly." I gave him a flying kiss and continued eating.

Finishing our meal, he picked up the plates and volunteered to wash the dishes since I will be driving him home. I looked for a container that I can use for the pork stew. I didn't close the lid because it is still hot so, I have to wait for the stew to at least warm down.

He just here, washing the dishes when I suddenly back hugged him. "Thank you."

"For what?" he chuckled. "For the meal?"

"For everything." After saying my gratitude towards him, I gave him a kiss. My heart starts to beat faster because I don't know if this is the right time.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I think I'm ready." I gave him a hint which I think he already understand what it means. I guess he did not expect that.

"A-Are you sure?"

"Yeah," I exhaled. My arms went around his waist as I continued kissing him. I bit his lower lips which made him moan a little bit. We walked our way inside my room to continue everything.

He threw my body to the bed and went on top of me. I can feel something is already growing inside of his pants which excited me and at the same time made me nervous. He went down to my neck, ears and back to my lips.

We stopped for a moment so that we can remove our clothes. He aggressively removed his shirt and threw it out of the bed. I am having a hard time undressing so he helped me and whispered to my ear "Are you sure you're ready? You're shaking."

"Yes, I am. Sorry, my first time." I chuckled.

"Don't be sorry. I'll be gentle okay?"

"O-Okay."

He kissed me again on the lips and now it went down to my chest and abdomen area. He then removed his pants and the only thing left is his boxer shorts. The lights outside are the only thing that illuminates my room and even though that is the case, I can already see that something big is waiting to escape inside his underwear.

When he removed his underwear, my insides went crazy. It is huge and I am talking about the girth and length. This is it. There is no turning back. I closed my eyes and pulled his face towards mine. I began kissing him passionately.

If earlier he was on top of me, I made a wild move to go on top. We changed position, now he is laying his back on my bed and I am on top of him. My tongue went inside of his mouth which made his dick harder.

My right hand went down and caressed it first, teasing him. My lips went to his right chest, licking his nipple while stroking him up and down. I am kissing his whole body like I am worshipping it. I then felt something sticky on his tool and I guess he already precummed.

"Ahh.." he exclaimed as I slowly suck his manhood while my hands are doing it's thing. I am just playing with it. Licking the balls, going upward, stroking it and then giving him deepthroat.

He is going crazy. "Stop." And I followed. He groaned and lift my body into the bed. I guess he wanted me to stop doing it or else he's going to explode. "Do you have any condoms?" He asked.

"Yeah." For some reasons, when Mild and I went grocery the last time, I found myself buying a box of condom. I don't know, but maybe because I anticipated this day for quite some time now. I gave him the box of condom from my nightstand and he rolled it into his tool.

While he is doing that, I completely removed my undergarment and prepared myself for the excruciating pain that I know I will feel before completely submerging to pleasure.

When he is done, he spread my legs wide open and licked his finger. He slowly put it inside of me, "Fuck." It is just a finger but it is already painful.

"Just relax."

I think he already felt that my muscles down there are relaxed so he stopped doing that thing and aimed his tool outside my hole. I am looking at him and I cannot believe that I am seeing this side of him right now. It is so sexy but at the same time he is making me nervous.

He licked his fingers and spread the saliva around my hole. He went on top of me and slowly thrust his wholeness inside of me.

"Fuck, Tay." I bit my lips as his dick go inside of me. He is being gentle but fuck it is painful. His arms are supporting my waist while the tension down there is starting to build up. To stop me from cursing him continuously, he leaned his head and kissed me.

I don't know if his wholeness is already inside of me but the pain is still there and it is growing. He then out of no where thrust hardly. "Fucking shit, Tay." I exclaimed. It feels like my whole inside is ripped at some point but the pleasure is there.

Slowly he is pushing and pulling himself to me. I opened my eyes and he is staring directly to me in pleasure. He is panting as the thrust goes on and on.

He then laid his chest to mine, wrapping his arms around me as I do the same to him. Out of nowhere, the pain that I am feeling earlier suddenly disappeared as if I am starting to get used to his size.

I then felt he is growing inside of me which means he is about to explode so he thrust faster as I tried to contain my noises.

When he finally reached the climax, I felt his manhood pulsating as he releases his juice. Tay is breathing heavily while his head is leaned on my shoulders. "I love you," I whispered to him.

"Fuck, I love you too, Hin." He said.


	25. Understanding

I'm so sorry if the last part of the previous chapter is HIDEOUS. OMG I never wrote something like that and to be honest, I kinda regret writing it. But hello, if you are about to die, aren't you going to do things before it's too late? 

But yeah, whatever, enjoy this cleanse chapter. ^^

CHAPTER 24

"Arrrgggh...What a very eventful day. My feet are already sore." Mild ranted while opening the door for me.

"What was the meeting all about?" I asked her while walking slowly because the pain down under is still there.

She sat at the sofa and gave me a weirded look. "What happened to you? Why are you walking like that?" she opened the pack of food that I brought. "A classmate of mine asked if we could switch schedule for the thesis defense. I told him that we should consult our professor first and if she agreed, then I will change schedule with him." Her thesis is already finished and she is just waiting for her defense day. Luckily, she was placed on the last day.

I cannot even sit down properly but I tried to do so. "When is the defense going to happen?"

"Second week of January." She raised her eyebrows. "Did something happen? What's with that posture?"

I clinched my teeth and debated whether or not to tell her it right now or not. She is about to eat for goodness sake. I don't want her to lose appetite. Well, she already had one so yeah it doesn't matter if she can't eat because of disgust.

"I-..." I am having a hard time putting it into words. Her eyes are just in full spherical shape, waiting for me to finish the sentence. "T-Tay and...I..."

She stopped from opening the container of rice and dropped it on the table. "No, you did not!" she exclaimed, not letting me continue the narrative.

My facial expression gave it away to her. With this awkward smile and biting of my lips, for sure she already knows that I am not lying.

"New fucking Thitipoom. You became his slut on the bed?"

"Mild! Your language." I dismissed her and fixed my sitting position.

You know the reactions of those people who won million baht in a television gameshow? That is her reaction. She is jumping and shouting like she won something. "Oh my goodness. Newwiee, I am so happy for you."

I shoved her hands away. "Happy that I am in pain? You're crazy."

"That is normal, hello. By tomorrow that is already gone." She told me as if she already experienced having a dick on her other tunnel.

"Having something inserting on your veggie and tunnel is different, okay. Yours are meant to be self-lubricated while ours is just plain...Let's just stop talking about that part."

"Did you use condom?" she calmed down and sat on the couch.

"Of course." I then chuckled a little bit when I remembered something.

"Why are you laughing?" she saw it, darn it. "What is it?"

"Nothing. At least he asked me if I have some condoms before going for it. I guess he is not going to continue without it." Which for me is a plus point. It's my first time okay and I don't know if it is Tay's first time too. But it's better to be protected nonetheless.

"That's good to hear. If you want, next time ask him to go with you and get tested so that you can do it without condom for your next intercourse." My head automatically turned and looked at her who is devouring a spoon of rice and pork stew. "What?"

"That is what he told me earlier. We can get tested together so that next time we can do it without condom." What the hell?

"Well, you still need to know how to clean yourself okay? Like douching and fasting to avoid accidents. It is not pretty advisable to do it without condom but hey, if you have one partner then you can do it." Sex education in college is pretty useful. Too bad I did not pay full attention to that since my sex life during those days are dry unlike Mild.

"I have an idea about douching because of our gay friends in college. The fasting one is pretty common sense. I mean this is all new to me. And I am not even sure if there will be next time. My time is ticking." I told her while grabbing the pillow and pursing my lips. "I know I had to do it. Seize the moment I guess?" I looked at her. "Do I sound foolish and desperate?"

"Of course not. Hello, if I were on your position, I will also do the same. I will do whatever I want because my time is already hanging on a thread." She dropped her utensils. "Besides, you and Tay are going out. That's enough qualification for you to sleep with him. AND both of you agreed to do it. So, there is no signs of desperation there my dear."

I then felt my phone vibrated. It is a text message from Tay. [Are you at Mild's already?]

[Yes, I'm here already.]

[How are you doing?]

[I'm fine. Don't worry. I can sit properly. *wink emoji*]

[Just tell me if you feel anything okay?]

[Yes, I will.]

[Good night then. *kissing emoji*]

[Good night *kissing emoji*]

"He even assisted me earlier. Like the fact that he made sure that I am fully clothed first and checks on me after made my heart flutter. I thought after we did it, he's going to act awkward or something but he didn't."

"He's a true gentleman. That's rare, Newwiee. And the fact that your relationship with him started fifteen years ago, that is on another level. You are both lucky to have each other."

"I think I'm luckier to have him in my life."

And we continued chatting for about one hour before settling to go upstairs and prepare for bedtime. I haven't seen myself naked in front of a mirror and if I am not mistaken, I have two more days. I want to know if there are some changes after what happened earlier.

I removed my t-shirt and looked at the reflection.

00:00:00:24: 05:28

24 hours, 5 minutes and 28 seconds. My body went numb. I lost one day.

The last time I checked, I have eight days and when I calculated it, my last day landed on the 2nd of January. But this time, it will end five minutes after the changing of the year. W-What is happening?

I ran towards Mild. "Mild, I lost a day."

"What? Again?"

I am rambling. "I-I don't know why but I have 24 hours left. W-What should I do?"

"Do you know what exactly your time will end?

"Five minutes past twelve midnight tomorrow. Five minutes into New Year my lifespan will expire, Mild." I can feel my hands are getting cold.

"Okay, I think it will happen during MGM event tomorrow. Usually, the afterparty would last until two to three in the morning. After the event, we will go home already. Okay? We will skip the afterparty."

"O-Okay." Initially, we are planning to attend the afterparty since MGM will throw a big one after the introduction of the lineup. I really wanted to go there since I don't want to celebrate New Year by myself alone and sad in my condo unit but I guess I have to if I want to live.

It's the last Monday of the year and I had a hard time sleeping but it is enough to have some energy for a very long day. While eating breakfast, I am debating if I am going to tell my parents and Tay about it. I did it once, I can do it again. That is the mindset that I have since last night.

I saved Tay, I can save myself for sure.

See things in a different light. That is what I learned from my grandmother and I truly believe that I was given this ability not just to prepare myself for what is going to happen but also to give me a chance to do something about it.

"What are you doing?" I asked Mild who is watching a YouTube video.

"I am learning how to do a proper CPR just incase the ambulance will be late."

I sat beside her and leaned my head to her shoulder. "I'm scared Mild."

"If you are scared, what more am I." She wrapped her arm around me. "I am not ready to lose my best friend." She tried to contain her sadness. "Which is why I will be with you all the time."

I smiled. "I love you, Mild. You're the best."

"I love you too, Newwie." And we hugged each other so tight. "Let's prepare for lunch. The glam team is on their way."

While Mild is being prepped by the glam team, I on the other hand is steam ironing her dress for the event. I decided to wear a red suit and pants with white long sleeves polo inside. I don't know if this is within the theme but at least I tried. Besides, I look good in red.

I went downstairs to get a glass of water when I heard someone opened the door. I looked in the doorway to see who is it and I saw Tay and Jumpol walking themselves in.

"Te, Jumpol. What are you doing here?"

"Eeeeyyyyyy. You look good in red huh." Jumpol teased. Tay is wearing white t-shirt and jeans. While Jumpol on the other hand is wearing navy blue suit and pants and white inside garment.

"I am not even sure if it fits the theme." I said shyly while placing the glass in the counter. I looked at Tay and his eyes are fixed to me. "So, how do I look?"

"Red suits you well. You look so good." There's something with the way he said those words as if I enchanted him with my charms.

"Thanks."

"How are you feeling today?" Tay followed up a question.

I embraced him and leaned my head to his chest. "Nervous but I feel good. How about you? Are you ready for the event?"

"Of course. I can survive that since I have a co-host."

"That's good to hear. Do you want to come over for dinner New Year's Eve date?" I asked innocently.

"You mean round two?" He replied teasingly. Thank goodness Jumpol is busy with his phone.

"Pervert! Let's just go upstairs. I believe they are almost done with Mild's makeup. They'll just fix her hair and dress and we're good to go."

The three of us entered Mild's room and we saw them curling her hair already. According to Tay he will be there at the event for good one hour or so before leaving for his event at 10PM onwards.

"There's an afterparty later. Are you going to attend?" He asked while helping me packing up my things.

"No, Mild and I need to go home early. How about you, are you going to barge in for late celebration?"

"I was planning to, but I guess I'll just go home after the event. It's pretty late anyways. I don't want to be their driver because they're intoxicated as hell." He laughed timidly.

"Come on now, Tay. We have plans for Wednesday but we canceled it for this event. Just come with us." Jumpol pleaded who is reading a magazine.

"I can't promise." He shuts down the conversation.

After thirty minutes, they finished Mild's glam up and she is deemed ready for the event. We thanked them for the service and took an Instagram story so that Mild and I can recommend them for bookings and services.

Of course, we paid them. Hello.

When we arrived at the MGM building, there are so many fans outside waiting. I cannot blame them today is like the ball for MGM artists. This year the management decided the event to be open for public which means fans can watch and share have a chance to see their favorite artists personally. There are no meet and greets but at least they can experience a sort of a concert or something with some grand performances from bands like Musketeers, Getsunova, Three Man Down and many more artists.

This mini concert will start at five and will last until seven in the evening. After that, the event will start immediately and expected to last for at least 3 hours. Then the afterparty and celebration of New Year's Day until four or five in the morning tomorrow.

It is not mandatory to attend the afterparty since it is understandable if some people wanted to celebrate the eve with their love ones, but majority of the artists decided to because it is a new beginning for the company. They wanted to celebrate this milestone as a family that's why even though some staffs cannot attend, the artists made sure that they are all going to attend this monumental celebration.

Too bad, I cannot be part of the celebration.

At exactly five o'clock, the emcee warmed up the live audience for the mini concert. He also mentioned the order of performances and asked the fans to refrain from taking videos since it is already being broadcast on YouTube. Just enjoy the concert and sing with the artists.

"Oooooyyyy. You look so dashingly handsome in red, Nong New." I heard P'Jennie's voice behind me. She is wearing a black latex dress.

"Thanks, P'Jennie. You look so sexy in that latex dress." I replied.

"I just need a mask and I can already play Catwoman right?"

I nodded, "you will be a great Catwoman if ever, Phi."

"Nong Tay, you're not going to attend the party?" I guess she clocked his attire which is pretty casual for the event.

"I have another event to attend later Khun. New Year's Day countdown." He explained while holding a camera. I guess he's going to take pictures instead of just standing someone backstage.

"That's unfortunate. Well, I hope you still enjoy the event. See you around."

"See you, Phi." We bid farewell to her.

When the concert started, Tay told me he's going to the audience area since he is one of the event's photographer. I saw Jumpol and Mild in the holding area talking to some executives and P'backaof. I never imagined that this is the amount of artist that MGM has. I mean the past management really had a poor handling with their artists that they failed to give some of their artist a project.

This year, they only managed to produce a total of 8 series. Mild once told me that sponsorship is their greatest problem this year that is why they only managed to do eight instead of the usual twelve. With the rise of P'Ja's leadership, he managed to look for sponsors that can support ten series.

And if the first quarter of the year is a success, that two more series can be added to the list. Which I assume one of those two is Tay's.

While they are having chitchats, I lurk around my eyes to see how everyone is doing. Two pairs got my attention. It's Krist and Singto. Their final trailer will be launched today as well since they already finished filming the series for My SOTUS. If I am not mistaken it will replace the program Why Did You Have to Leave on My Birthday?

The title may sound hideous but trust me, I saw one episode of that drama and it is very good. Too bad I haven't watched it from the start so I guess I'll just have to wait for that drama to finish and then binge watch it on YouTube.

Going back to Krist and Singto, it is still evident that they are distant with each other. I don't want to be a gossip but I am eager to ask Mild if she knows something about what is happening with those two.

"Mild, look at those two." I then pointed my lips to the direction of the pair that I am looking for a while now. "What's going on with those two?" They are seating like ten blocks away from each other and two staffs are giving them briefing.

"I guess they are not yet making up with each other. Singto is officially part of another series. He's going to be paired with Pleum. And here's the catch, his role upgraded from support to main. Basically, there are six lead couple in the series." Mild answered.

Is Krist angry because Singto accepted another role or is he angry because his partner is being paired with someone who is openly flirting with him on social media. If the answer is the first one, I cannot blame him because it is not a good career move for Singto to do it since him and Krist are the first pair in MGM's four pillars project.

But if the answer is the latter then that is pretty much self-explanatory and I'll leave it as it is.

Based on the noise from the audience, I guess they are having a good time and is actually singing along with the artists. For a brief while, Mild went out of my sight to have a small talk with Joss somewhere I don't know. I am just sitting here while listening to the music and quietly singing along when someone sat beside me.

"Can I sit here?" It's Earth.

"Sure."

"What are doing here all by yourself? Where's Tay?"

"He's not going to attend the event. He's out there taking pictures." I briefly explained.

"So, he's unemployed for next year?" He asked teasingly.

"Not really. For sure he has some projects and endorsement so he's not unemployed."

"Don't take it literally. That's an inside joke here in MGM that if an artist has no series for next year, he's unemployed."

"Ahhhh okay." I laughed timidly.

It took some moments before he started talking again. "Did you know that I was supposed to be unemployed instead?"

"What do you mean?"

"Months ago, they want to test if Tay is suitable for bl series. So, they considered giving him a secondary role first. But he rejected the offer immediately because he said he is not ready. Only to find out that he accepted the main role for a bl series weeks later."

"The one that got postponed." I replied.

"Isn't it funny. He was supposed to play a support role for this series but he turned down because he thought Gun will be his lead couple on his own series. But suddenly, Gun withdraw from the said series so he can play the main lead in the series that Tay declined."

"Well, in his defense, his manager that time is not P'Mark. He's been involved with some controversies due to his previous manager's incompetence. He left him because he thought that Tay's career is failing. Tay is desperate to save his career back then which is probably the reason why when a casting director offered him the series, he accepted it and now the series is on hold. But hey, he managed to bounce back from it." I cannot speak on his behalf but that's the most reasonable scenario that I thought of based on what I heard on Tay.

"I guess he haven't told you yet."

My eyebrows crossed, "what do you mean?"

"Tay will not accept any lead roles until he is going to be paired with you."

"What?" I fully understood what he said it is just that I find it ridiculous.

"Yes, he is there right now outside, taking pictures and being unemployed because he specifically said to the management that he will not accept lead roles for the next two years. Which for me is both a wise and stupid move."

"I think there is nothing wise with that decision at all." I debunked his statement because that is not a very good move for him. He will sideline his acting career for two years just because he wants to be paired with me, that is insane.

"Do you really think that his manager will agree to that if he is not on board with that idea?" P'Mark agreed to that? "I think he did not tell you about it because his decision is already final. Besides, he only turned down the idea of being a main lead. He can still play a support character in a series. There are so many projects lined up for him. Aside from being a regular host for School Troopers, he will also be hosting his own lifestyle and travel show with P'Jennie. With his spotlight being dimmed as an actor, people will anticipate his comeback. With all the endorsement that he has, for sure two years from now he is still going to be relevant and more famous that what he is right now."

"Why are you telling all these to me now?"

"So that you will not be surprised with it in the near future. I want you to try to understand his decision and avoid unnecessary drama unlike those two." He pointed out Krist and Singto. "I heard you and Mild talking about them. Don't follow their footsteps." He stood up and walked away as if nothing happened.

I mean somehow, I feel bad for Tay because he wants to backpaddle his acting career for the sole reason that he wants his next project to be with me. But on the other hand, I'm just thinking it as a hiatus from acting since for the past two years, he's really grinding with all the dramas that he's been on. It is not bad to take a break sometimes.

And Earth is right. Just because he will stop acting it doesn't mean his career will be over. There are so many ways on how to stay relevant in the entertainment industry. Hosting his own show and being part of the longest running variety gameshow in Thailand is good additional attribute to his resume.

When the mini concert is almost over, we were asked to prepare for the event. We are the last to be announced following My SOTUS and let me tell you this, Krist and Singto's vibes are affecting their group. You see the disconnect between them and it is killing Meen, Gunsmile and others inside. The tension is real.

"How are they going to act normal later?" I asked Gunsmile who is now playing his phone to distract himself.

"They gave the host an heads up. They will be asked individual questions rather than you know giving opinions about each other." He replied while trying to survive gunshots from his enemies.

"I just hope P'Nicky and P'Leo will stick to the script given to them because they cannot have a fallout tonight. We are being broadcasted online worldwide." Meen added which you can recognize the concern on her voice.

"Just prepare yourselves because with Nicky being the host, you know he likes to go off script. Just laugh and act normal." Janhae said while fixing her hair and re-applying makeup.

"They are called actors for a reason. They should know how to act professional in front of the camera and pretend nothing is wrong. They cannot sabotage their career just because they have indifferences with each other. They are already adult. They should act like one." Namtan inserted herself from the conversation. It is pretty obvious that she is not having this drama between them.

"Hin," I heard Tay's voice behind me.

"Te, you're going already?"

"Yes. I don't want to get stuck in traffic. Have fun with the event. I'll text you later."

"Okay. Take care and good luck."

"Thanks." My body went numbed when he suddenly kissed me on the lips. Even though I cannot see people around me I am pretty sure that they are also shocked just like me with what just happened. "Bye."

I just smiled at him while he is walking away.

"What was that?" Namtan's voice echoed.

"Oh my goodness, are you two already a thing or something?" Janhae is pretty shocked but at the same time excited.

"That's bold for him to do, dude. He's brave." Gunsmile replied without looking away from his screen.

"I need to process what just happened. Let me get a tequila or something." Jane stood up and excused herself from the group.

"Girl, let me have one as well." Namtan followed.

"It's just a matter of time before the people knows about what happened. For sure someone will leak that information on social media and in no time, pictures are also possible and your names will dominate the trend list again." Mild casually commented while leaning her head to my shoulder as if she is already expecting what is about to happen later.

There's nothing excited happened after that. We were just being put on hold in the area trying to survive the night without being drunk because we need to be sober up in that stage.

When it is time for the My SOTUS team to dominate the stage, some of the actors and actresses are praying badly that their main leads will not fuck up the interview portion. I am at the backstage trying to see what is happening and just like what Janhae said, Nicky went off the script which is not a good sign already.

"Krist and Singto what things have you discovered with each other while filming the series?" That is not a good question dumbass when you were told by the staff about what is happening! I can already feel that Namtan wanted to kick Nicky on his leg but it will be too obvious because the camera pan is wide angle as of the moment.

When the camera focused on Krist and Singto, Namtan deliberately kicked Nicky hard on his legs which made him lump. I can see her badmouthing him because of what he did.

"Ahhh, you go first." Krist said to Singto.

Singto laughed briefly because he felt awkward with Krist giving him the go signal to open the conversation. "He is so fun to work with and professional when it comes to attendance. Our call time is literally six in the morning and the staff will see his car arriving at 4:30 AM. He values time so much. He will practice his lines with me and even though that it is just a practice, I feel like we are already in the scene doing it without the cameras rolling. Which I guess the reason why our chemistry went well when the cameras are already rolling." That is one long of an answer. He is prepared for this awkward moment that's for sure.

"I have commitment with my craft that's basically what he is saying." And he laughed awkwardly. I don't know if the audience will clock that but bitch, their co-actor's laughs are so forced you don't want yourself to be involved in that group right now.

That subtle shade to Singto is so loud he is like saying I am professional with my commitments and I don't accept other lead roles when I have literally a series airing two weeks from now.

That circus is too hard to watch, we decided to just go back to our seats and wait for them to go out off the stage.


	26. Are You Okay, Hin?

CHAPTER 25

After the circus spectacle that happened on the stage, the emcee thanked all the cast of My SOTUS and gave the audience the details about the airing of the said series. One by one, they went off the stage and based on their reaction, it is not what they expected to happen at all.

"I swear to heavens, I almost gave Nicky a jab on his stomach earlier." Namtan said while removing her heels and changing into flats. Janhae gave her drink which I assume is tequila.

"He is so insensitive. The staff already mentioned the dos and don'ts earlier but he still went off the script. Why did they hire him anyways?" Jane asked.

"The three goddesses have their own series next year so they cannot really perform the duties as host this event." The three goddesses are P'Jennie, P'Godji and P'Golf. If I am not mistaken P'Jennie has two, P'Godji has one series and a variety show and P'Golf has one series, one variety show and a lifestyle show.

Some of us are shocked when we heard something broke. Our eyes went straight to the direction of Krist and Singto.

"Krist, can you calm down?" Singto held for Krist's arm.

"We have nothing to talk about." He then shoved away Singto's hands and started walking out of the venue. He is approaching the backdoor when Gunsmile stopped him. "Get out of my way."

"Until when are you going to ignore Singto, huh?" With the tone of his voice, I am sure something is about to explode.

"Mind your own business, dude." He walked around him and continued walking when suddenly Gunsmile said something that none of us expected.

"Aren't you the one who hurt Singto's feelings first?" My jaw dropped when I heard that statement from him. "You're the one who is not sure about your feelings and you are not ready to start something with him. He respected that and continued his professional duties even though it kills him everyday to see you flirting with girls on set." I looked around to see how everybody around us is reacting and I guess I am the only one who doesn't know anything because they are just poker face.

"Shut your mouth, you know nothing." He turned around and it is evident that Krist is not having this conversation today.

Gunsmile disregarded his warning and continued, "He accepted that series not because he wanted to hurt your feelings. He accepted that because he wants to. For his own growth as an actor. Why are you being immature about it?"

"I said shut your mouth," he charged forward to Gunsmile and held his collars.

"Are you being jealous because you genuinely see Singto happy when he is around Pleum?"

"Somebody stop Gunsmile from mocking him." Meen asked but no one is brave enough to go in between them. Mond ran outside to call for backup. Singto approached them and tried to remove Krist's hands.

"At least he should have been decent enough to turn down the offer out of respect for our series. We are being introduced as a new pair. How can we establish a fanbase if he is going to be paired with somebody else? Are you not using your fucking mind?" He replied to Gunsmile.

"Fine, I'll call P'Mae right now and tell her that I reject the offer." Singto pulled out his phone and dialed someone.

"Why would you do that? It's your own life, own decision, own career. Not his. Why are you going to slide the opportunity just because he is not okay with it?"

"It's fine. He has a point." I can feel Singto is holding back his tears as he tried to calm down Krist.

"No, he has not." Namtan stood up and walked her way into the conversation. "The drama will air on the last quarter of the year. You have approximately nine months to build your fanbase and if that is this douchebag's problem that is enough for you to establish a huge one."

She took a sip on her drink and proceed to her argument. "That is not the reason why you are being like this. You know that Pleum has a crush on Singto and he is being vocal about it on social media and you cannot stand that because you can see the genuine happiness that you cannot see when Singto is not with you."

I swear to heavens the break is almost over and I want to stay here a little bit longer to see how things will end. Namtan is definitely reading him to filth. She then forcefully removed Krist's hands on Gunsmile's collars. "You need to assess yourself, Krist because you cannot be selfish like this. You don't own Singto's happiness and growth. If you have feelings for him, tell him. You cannot accept that you are starting to develop feelings for him, that's your problem not his. Don't put your anger towards him. You cannot stand seeing Singto happy with somebody else, tell him the real reason why and not give this unnecessary bullshit reasoning."

"Be honest with yourself if you don't want to lose both yourself and Singto." She gave him her last blow. "People has limitations too."

Singto, Namtan and Gunsmile turned their backs to him and walked away. I can see in Singto's eyes that he is starting to tear up. "Everything you saw and heard, nothing will go out of these four walls, do you understand? Or else, I will seriously hunt you down." Namtan shouted to make sure that people inside the holding area understood what she said.

She will always be the badass queen.

"Guys, we're about to go out there." Earth called our attention because the emcees are already reading their introduction for us.

They will play first the trailer of the series and after that the cast and director will be called on stage. We have a tv screen in front of us so we can see the trailer too. Moments later we saw Mond with a security guard. I just shook my head and tried to contain my laugh because he is already too late.

Moments later out trailer started playing. They introduced the characters one by one. According to Gun's character, he does not believe in love and it is just a hindrance to his studies. Off's character on the other hand seems like he does not care about his studies as long as he can play basketball.

More problems started to occur with Off's character when the basketball team's head coach resigned because of lack of funds. He was then informed that he can actually hire a new one as long as they can get the highest fund from the student government office.

The thing is, they are not the only one who is interested with the funds. The theatre club which the three of us are members of are also gunning for the fund so that we can revive the glory days of our org. They were asked to do something as an organization that will benefit both the school's image and their club's image and the one who impressed the student government the most will win the highest fund.

My character suggested that we do an outreach program slash immersion and teach kids for one month in a rural area.

Everything is ready for us. We went to our target place and to our surprise, we saw the basketball team there. We don't know how they found out about it and it was revealed that Earth's character actually stalks my social media account because he is interested and planning to hit on me.

We tried our best to come up with another plan since they copied all our ideas. We decided to perform a play for them since we are from the theatre club. But things went downhill when they sabotaged our play by messing up with our sound design. They played an audio of a woman moaning. Although Off and Earth's character tried to stopped it, it is already too late.

We lost the fund and aside from that, we got sanctioned by the student government telling us that they are disbanding the theatre club next school year which broke our hearts obviously.

And that is where the drama starts between the two groups. Gun wanted to take revenge on Off while I completely dismissed Earth's confession about his budding feelings for me.

This is just a mock trailer but I can already imagine the whole story and where it is going. For sure many audience can relate since it is about university life and MGM's target audience are teenagers. A breath of fresh air from the usual mistress, lost child and amnesia trope that we got to see every Saturdays and Sundays.

Then the emcees called the cast of Project: Premise of Love and one by one we all walk our way to the stage. This is the first time that I got to stand on a stage and being watched by a huge number of people. I am just on the side next to P'Leo, one of the emcees. So basically it is me, P'backaof, Mike, Mild, White, Earth, Gun, Off, Ciize, Jamie, Puimek, P'Sukol and P'Apasiri.

"Please give a round of applause for the cast of Project: Premise of Love." Nicky said.

One by one we introduced our characters. They started with the main leads up until the last one which is me. "Sawadeeja, my name is New Thitipoom and I played Amp in the teaser."

"Wait, that is White's character's name, right?" P'Leo asked. I looked at P'backaof and he just nodded to me as if he is giving me a go signal to explain why. I guess he wants me to explain it to them instead of him.

"Yes, in the teaser, I played the role of Amp but moving forward P'White's going to play the character." I briefly explained.

"Why is that so? Why are you not going to reprise your role for the series?" He questioned.

"Unfortunately, I will be in the US by the time that they will start the production of the series. I will be pursuing my master's degree there." Even though I am in the stage, I heard some grasp from the audience.

"Can you walk us through with that P'backaof?" Now I understand why some of them hated Nicky's hosting. I already explained it, is that even necessary?

"Well, it's pretty simple to understand if you will try to." He then faked a laugh. I know that he meant to shade Nicky on that one. "But this is what really happened. All of us needs to pitch a series to the management and we are talking about 15 to 20 productions worked hard but sadly they will only accommodate 10 of us. When we started this production weeks ago, my mind is not conditioned to the fact that we are surely one of those ten. We have five competitors for the bl genre. Five fierce and promising series fought for two spots. That's why I decided to accept walk-in actors for the mock up trailer."

"Off told me that he wants to bring his friend over and showed me a clip of his acting demo. That friend of his is New. A very promising actor. When I saw that video of him that went viral, I knew that he can embody the character of Amp. But sadly, the first thing that New said to me when we met is that he cannot fully commit to the project since he is planning to pursue his master's for acting in New York. Of course, I felt sad about it but nonetheless, I let him played the character because this is just a mock up trailer. Anything can be changed if the management said so. Nothing is final until we roll the cameras during the production." P'backaof really went in with his explanation.

"But luckily, we got White here who I personally think can also give justice to Amp's character. He's one of my mentees in my acting classes before and I know his acting capabilities."

"Nong New, do you want to use this opportunity to thank your supporters?" P'Leo asked.

"Yes, thank you P'Leo. I want to express my deepest gratitude to everyone who supported us when we are filming. The fans who sent us food support and gifts. I hope you continue to support our team until the airing of the series. Khop khun kub."

And that marks the end of my spiels for tonight. The main leads said their gratitude and asked the fans for their support. They also said that they will do their best and aim for something that will satisfy the greater audience.

When the hosts said to give us a round of applause, we pose for a picture and I felt an arm wrapped around me, it's P'backaof. I smiled for the camera and the cameraman signaled okay which means we can already go off the stage.

While we are walking, the hosts thanked everyone who attended the event and closed the night with a warm thank you and farewell.

"Just like what I told you before. I will be the director of your very first series. I will do anything to have that project on my hands. Okay?" Somehow, hearing those words again from P'backaof warmed my heart.

"I cannot wait for that day to come, Phi. It would be an honor for me."

"You got the talent. This time, I will make sure that the world will see it." He tapped my shoulders and moved forward.

"Nicky is stressing me out. Ugggh.. Let's just drink shall we?" The first thing that Namtan said when Mild and I arrived to our position earlier.

"Game!" Mild said as if she forgot that I am literally a ticking bomb.

"Eheem...Mild. Aren't we supposed to go home early?" I side poke her.

"What? No, no, no, no. You cannot bail out this early, Newwiee. It's only ten in the evening. Are you a freaking teenager or something? Let's go to the party hall." Namtan wrapped her arm around my neck.

"But Mild and I have to go." I excused.

"I m-mean we can stay for an hour, Newwiee." Oh my goodness, is she drunk? With the way she said that, surely, she is. This is why I don't want her to hang out all night with Janhae and Jane. Ever since college, their trio is unstoppable when it comes to drinking.

For sure they've been giving her supplies of free drinks while we are waiting for our turn.

"You're going to spend the New Year's Eve alone anyways? What's with the rush, Newwieeboy?" Jumpol is tipsy already. This is a total nightmare.

"Just stay for an hour, Newwiee. I cannot take care of Mild when she is complete drunk." Meen pleaded. I mean I cannot leave Mild because no one will take care of her once the party started. I am the only one who doesn't drink so automatically, the responsibility for drunk people goes to me.

"Alright. Just an hour Mild, okay?"

"Yaaaay! Let's party!" Mild exclaimed.

This is not a good idea. Let me tell you that.

We arrived at the venue. It is pretty far away from MGM Building. They reserved the whole venue for us. Entering the party hall, there are buffet of food on the other side. My attention focused on the sweet section because of the large chocolate fountain. There are servers walking around with glass of champagnes and wine. The DJ in front is playing different EDM songs and immediately, I saw P'Jennie rocking a Korean song. The song Gee from Girls' Generation is playing and P'Jennie is nailing every steps as if she is one of the members of the said girl group.

"Mook, are you drunk?" I asked her.

"I'm not drinking tonight because I'll be driving myself home. Why?" Thank goodness. In case Mild because inconsolable, I can ask her to take care of her.

"Can you take care of Mild for me later if she became you know, black out drunk."

"Of course. I've been doing that since college." She joked.

"Thank you so much. I don't know if I can last longer here because I need to go home before midnight."

"Are you Cinderella or something? What's with the timeframe, Newwiee? Your hubby is waiting for you at home?" She teased.

"Silly, it's too complicated to explain now. I don't want to ruin the night. Just take care of Mild in case I went MIA all of a sudden, okay?"

"Alrighty." She pursed her lips and nodded.

"You're the best." I hugged her and sat somewhere to watch over Mild and her troops partying.

Because I don't want to be a party pooper, I decided to go to the buffet table and see what food I can eat for the night. That's the only contribution that I can give tonight. Make sure that there will be no food that will go to waste.

I immediately went to the sweet section and the chocolate fondue is the first thing that I want. I grabbed a stick to pierce marshmallows, strawberries and wafer on it. Aside from that I also grabbed some ice cream.

It's full dessert course meal tonight.

It took me thirty minutes to finish with my agenda because of the variety of choices in the buffet. When I felt that I am half full already, I let go of the plate and went to the first row to see what is happening on the dance floor.

Mild is dancing with the girls and they are having fun. After the dancing, Gunsmile went in front for an intermission number. A group of boys went in as his backup and fixed their individual instruments like electric guitar, keyboard piano and drums.

For the next thirty minutes, they played different songs. There's English, Thai and even Chinese. I guess they are going to be debuted as a boyband group of MGM next year. That is based on what I heard earlier.

It's already eleven in the evening and I should probably go now.

My feet are moving around the venue trying to find Mild until I saw myself sitting in the middle of the executives because P'backaof who is also drunk as hell told me to sit down beside them. Sitting with is P'Ja, the head and president of MGMTV, P'Med his executive assistant, P'Doy assistant branding manager, P'Kit a casting manager and some executives that I forgot to memorize their names.

They are asking me series of questions like what are my plans after I graduate. Or will I go back occasionally here in Thailand during my summer and winter breaks. One of the executives actually suggested to give me already a flexible contract with MGM which kind of an overwhelming thing to hear right now.

They are drunk as hell. I cannot take any their words seriously.

I looked at my wristwatch and it is already 11:23. My heart starts pounding hard so I excused myself from the conversation. Since I don't know where Mild is, I just search for Mook who is thankfully just flirting with Toy near the bar counter.

"Mook, I cannot find Mild. I have to go now. You take care of her, okay?"

"She's at the bathroom throwing up. I saw her going inside."

Goodness gracious Mild. I ran in the bathroom and looked for her in the cubicles. I saw a lady laying in the cubicle, throwing up.

"You're such a mess, Mild." I flushed the toilet and carried her to the lavatory to wash her face. I am wiping away her face with my own bare hands. I pulled out my handkerchief to dry off her face.

I carried her out of the bathroom going to the exit door. "Mook, if someone looked for Mild tell them I already took her home, okay?"

"Okay." She gave me an okay sign.

While walking the hallways, I heard Mild mumbling something. "I-I want to throw up." I went to the nearest restroom so that she can throw up. "Wait me outside, N-Newwiee. I need to pee too."

"Okay. Just yell if you need help," I commanded her.

The noise from the party hall is echoing here in the hallways. But one thing caught my attention. I heard Tay's voice speaking. I saw a security guard watching the television. I forgot that tonight also airs Tay's last interview of the year.

Since the bathroom is not that far, I decided to watch first while waiting for Mild.

"What is the lowest point of your life this year, Tay?" P'Toey asked, the host of It's the Late Night Talkshow with Toey.

"There's a point where I thought my career is already over. When my previous manager resigned, I thought that's it. It's the start of my downfall. I remember reading comments on Twitter about how horrible my acting is, that I don't deserve the fame that I have, that I am using someone to redeem my name something like that..." one by one, some of the tweets that he mentioned appeared on screen. "I mean they are not wrong though with the acting part because I felt the same way. I know that I was holding back and I am not giving my one hundred percent..."

Then, a tweet flashed from the screen.

[@thanavit_artvit tweeted: Now that he is irrelevant because of his drama ended, he is trying to leeched the opportunity of using that poor guy for his own gain.) 3 replies | 15 retweets | 109 likes]

I remember quote tweeting that tweet and it gained a lot of attention on social media. Fans of Tay started following me because I defended him and did not hold back with my reply to this tweet.

All of a sudden, I felt uneasy reading back that tweet. Thanavit Artvit. That name sounds familiar. And like a thunder, I recalled the names that the police mentioned to us.

He's the leader of the gang that attacked Tay that night.

I opened my Twitter account and searched for that username.

User @thanavit_artivit.

I went to his homepage and there looked for something that might be useful to help his captivity. I scrolling down each tweet until I saw a series of tweet.

[@tnaavit_artvit tweeted: Change of plans. They cancelled the party. Ugggh. I hate the rich.] No one is interacting with him.

[@tanavit_artvit tweeted: Anyone who has a group party available on the 2nd of January at Club Bis Tro?] So, this is the party that he is talking about. Club Bis Tro, the club that P'Bam owned? We went there before because Jumpol is close with him.

[@tanavit_artvit tweeted: He's thriving with the brand endorsements. Too bad I think that will be the last that he will have. 5555555+] What is this man talking about.

There's a bunch of nonsense tweets ahead which is why I scrolled down faster to see if there are some other things that he posted like a picture that can be used to identify his location.

[@tanavit_artvit tweeted: What a way to start a year. Advance Happy New Year, fuckers]

My phone almost slipped my hands when I read the next tweet.

[@tanavit_artvit tweeted: If at first you don't succeed, try again and make no mistakes. -Anonymous *knife emoji* *foolish face emoji*]

I didn't realize that I am just starting blankly at my screen. The next thing I know, Mild is calling my attention.

"Newwiee! Are you okay?"

"H-Huh? What?"

"I'm quite sober now. I said, are you okay?" Her face is wet and she tied back her hair.

"M-Mild, I think I am not the one who is in trouble." I told her shakingly.

"Why? What do you mean?"

We are rushing our way to the parking area. I told her to contact P'Mark to alert Tay about what is about to happened. I screenshotted the tweets and asked Mild to send it to P'Mark.

I don't know if my theory is right but I think the remaining time that I am seeing is not mine but it's Tay's. Come to think of it, we barely see each other lately. Then, I suddenly lost eight days when Tay was announced to be hosting the New Year's Eve countdown. Everything seems well until they cancelled the party on Wednesday which is why I lost a day.

"Are you even sure that you are not the one who is in danger, Newwiee? Goodness, P'Mark is not answering his phone. He's not reading the texts."

"I cannot come up with another explanation than that, Mild. Obviously, the attacker is targeting Tay, not me."

"But how sure are you that you will not be put in danger saving him?"

I am trying to maneuver the car as fast as I could but still following the speed limit. "My goal for tonight is to not let anyone of us get harmed." I looked at time displayed on my car. "We still have time, it's just 11:50 and we'll be there just in time to get him out of the venue."

I told Mild to call the police so that they can send backup. She also tried to call Tay's phone but it is not answering.

Moments later, I saw the fireworks display started. I looked at the clock and it is just 11:55 in the evening. "Isn't it too early for the fireworks display?" I asked her.

She unlocked her phone. "Oh shit, Newwiee. That is five minutes late. It's already twelve midnight."

"What? Fuck!"

Fuck this speed limit. I have less than five minutes left.

I forgot to check the time but moments later we arrived at the venue in Siam Paragon. I tried to run as fast as I could. I felt my heart is under my feet trying to squeeze myself from the crowd. Everyone is just clamoring for the fireworks display while I excuse myself so that I can get an easy way near the stage.

When I saw that Tay is not on the stage, I tried to look for P'Mark because for sure he is around here somewhere. Just in time, I saw P'Mark reading something from his phone.

"P'Mark!"

"Newwiee? What are you doing here? I saw multiple call attempts from your phone. I was about to call you."

"Phi, where is Tay?" I asked while trying to catch my breath.

"Tay? He's done for the event. I guess he is taking a break backstage bef-"

"Tay is in danger, P'Mark." I wasted no time and interrupted him.

"What?" he is puzzled.

"Opened the messages I sent to you, Phi. I will just go check Tay."

I asked the guards to let me in and they did thanks to P'Mark's signal. Looking at the aura here backstage, this is not a good environment to be alone. I am looking for Tay but he is not here. I then saw a tent which Tay's and ran towards there.

"Tay!" I screamed while opening the tent but no one is there. Where the fuck is he?

"New! I don't have his phone. Maybe he is in the parking lot. He forgot his phone in the car!" P'Mark shouted.

I ran as fast as I could because the parking area is quite far from the venue. I don't know if P'Mark is following me but I heard him calling someone from his phone which I assume he is calling the police.

I am breathing heavily as soon as I reached the parking area. I looked for P'Mark's black car. I then saw a car with it's lights on inside. The lights went off and Tay is walking his way when he saw me.

"Hin, what are you doing here?"

"Te, let's get out he-" I haven't finished what I was about to say when I saw someone walking inches closer to him. "Te!"

I ran towards him and tried to shove his body away but it is too late. I felt something pierced and my body is in full shock.

The attacker and I met our eyes together and it seem like he is shocked to see me looking at him. He dropped the weapon and tried to ran away but security guards are approaching to his direction.

"T-Te?" I felt something wet is running through his body.

"Are you okay, H-Hin?" he mumbled before he lost his consciousness.

"Te!"


	27. Frank

Author's Note: 

Last four chapters? To be honest, I am not sure anymore. I want somehow to continue Tay and New's story but at the same time, I think I should save that for the next installment. We already passed the climax. I want to have a satisfying resolution for this series but at the same time, there are more things to explore within their relationship.

I guess we'll see how things will turn out.

Enjoy~

CHAPTER 26

Mild's Point of View

My mind is half awake, half tipsy but I am fully aware about what is happening. The crowd is getting stiff here in Siam Paragon because police cars started arriving one by one. We then heard a siren wailing, it was an ambulance going on our way.

Newwiee, what happened?

I don't know what is going on because I have no idea where he is. I am just holding his suit and phone trying to locate him. Suddenly, I saw the ambulance men rushing towards the parking lot. I saw P'Mark running so I followed him.

"P'Mark!" I shouted while approaching him.

"Mild. What the hell is happening?"

"It's a very long story, Phi." Our attention is focused on following the emergency staff. We arrived at the parking area my feet were pierced on the ground to see them putting someone on a stretcher. I just heard P'Mark shouting his heart out while running towards them while my eyes are lock to the person standing few meters away, his white long sleeves polo are covered in blood.

"N-Newwiee!" Now my whole body is fully awake seeing him in that situation. "Oh my goodness, Newwiee, are you okay?" I asked him while covering him with his suit because he is shaking.

"T-Te..." He is in shock right now that is a hundred percent. I don't know if he is trying to hold back his tears or he cannot shred a single tear because of his state.

"D-Don't worry. He's with P'Mark. They will take care of him." I then saw a group of people taking photos of us. "Newwiee, let's go. You need to change."

"I-I need to go to the hospital." He shoved me away and tried to run.

"Newwiee! What are you doing?" I catched up with him. "I will not allow you to drive in this state. You are in shock. Give me the keys. I'll bring you to the hospital." He looked at me and handed over his car keys.

While we are inside the car, New is not changing his clothes even though I gave him a shirt. At this point, thoughts are going through his mind and he is scared because with the amount of blood that Tay lost, he is in serious danger.

My phone started ringing and it is Off calling. I guess he already knew what happened.

"Off..." I started the conversation.

"What the fuck happened?" His voice is raging. Earlier he is blackout drunk but now I can sense his anger.

"I don't know either. Newwiee and I are about to go home when New told me that Tay is in danger. I don't know the full details but somehow he saw some bunch of tweets from the assailant and the next thing I now, Tay is being carried by the ambulance and there's blood all over Newwiee's body."

"Where is New? I want to talk to him. I am driving to the hospital right now."

"You're drunk, Off. Why are you driving?" I looked at New and he is just looking in front of us. "New cannot talk right now. He's still in shock."

"When I saw the pictures online, my body automatically sobered up. Everyone back in the venue is shocked when the news broke on the internet. The party was called off early. Let's meet at the hospital."

"Okay." And I ended the call. I saw several text messages from our colleagues in MGM but I don't know how to respond to all of them since I don't know the full story of what happened back in the parking lot.

Arriving at the hospital, it is not a surprise that media outlets are already outside. The guards are asking them to leave the place because it is a disturbance to the other patient. We were walking inside when suddenly a reporter barged New.

"Can you give us a detail about what happened?"

"Please, give us some privacy." I told them making way for us to go inside the hospital in peace. New approached the receptionist and asked where the emergency room is. She told us the location and we followed her instructions.

We saw P'Mark outside talking to someone over the phone and when he saw us, he immediately approached us.

"New, Mild. What the hell happened?" His voice is shaking.

"Phi, how is Tay? Is he going to be okay? What did they say?"

"We don't know anything yet aside from the fact that he could have sustain an organ rapture somewhere because of the attack." He directed his attention to New. "How did you know that something will happen?"

I am not sure if telling other people about his ability is the right thing to do because the last thing we need right now is confusion. I just hope that he is going to say something that will be easier for us to understand.

"I-I saw Tay's interview earlier and they flashed some screenshots of the tweets that went viral from his haters. I suddenly remembered the name of the leader of the gang that attacked him, went through his twitter account to see if we can find a lead to his location and then I saw those tweets."

"And you are certain that the attack will happen?" He asked.

He is certain that something is going to happen because of the body clock. "I just took chances, P'Mark. My mind is all over the place and I just want to make sure that Tay is okay. But it went downhill. I failed to save him from the attack."

"No, it's not your fault okay? No one wants this to happen and you did your best to prevent the attack." I tried to console him because he looks defeated and disappointed at himself at the same time.

"You already risked your life by facing the assailant, New. Don't crucify yourself. That is the last thing that Tay want you to feel. Okay?" P' Mark hugged him because New started crying. "Stop crying, New. It's not your fault."

They were waiting for a doctor to come out of the emergency room when I saw Off and the gang walking towards our direction. I stood up and went to face them.

"Mild, what happened?" Namtan asked.

"New and I are about to go home when he told me that he found something about Tay's assailant." I handed them New's phone so that they can see the series of screenshots that New captured. "He planned the attack and we tried to get Tay out of the venue. Unfortunately, the next thing I know, I saw them carrying Tay in the ambulance and New is there in shock."

"Did you call the police?" Janhae question.

"Yes, we did but when we get there, it is too crowded because of the event that they failed to locate the suspect immediately and New had to search for Tay which I assume he found him at the parking lot."

"How is New doing?" Meen handed back the phone to me.

"He's been crying for quite some time now but thankfully P'Mark is there to console him."

"Have you heard anything from the doctor?" Jane questioned while we are walking our way to the waiting area.

"They've been inside for almost an hour already. I just hope that nothing serious happened because Tay lost a lot of blood. I told New to change his clothes but he is not doing it."

"This is the second time that New risked his life for Tay. Why does it seem like he knows that something is about to happen to Tay? First, the bar attack. Now, this. How come he is always there trying to save Tay or something?" We sit somewhere far away from P'Mark and New.

I looked at Off and the minute I did that, he automatically reacted as if I telepathically given him an answer. "Don't tell me..."

"This is actually third time New tried to save Tay. The first two were successful and then this is his third attempt. It's okay for you to believe it or not, I cannot blame you all." I started. "Ever since as a child, Newwiee has an ability to see someone else's remaining days."

"What?" I mean it's pretty understandable if they are shock with that revelation.

"But his ability only works with people he is close with. Friends, relative, anyone who became fond with him and build a connection with."

"You mean he knows when I will die?" It is obvious that she got scared on that part. If it already scares her, what more the burden that Newwiee had to carry for knowing his friend's lifespan.

"He hasn't seen any of yours yet." I then look at Off, "except for mine, Off and Tay's."

"You mean we could have prevented this earlier if he only told someone about Tay's remaining days?" Lee asked. Why is he doing here? I didn't know he's been with us until he spoke this nonsense.

"You're not listening, stupid. She clearly said that New can see someone's remaining days but it doesn't mean he can see the future. There are so many ways to die okay? What are you doing here anyway?" Namtan intervene.

"Besides, his ability malfunctioned at some point." I added.

"What do you mean?" Off asked.

"Days after the bar incident, New told me that he cannot see Tay's remaining days. And all of a sudden, New can see his own body clock which never happened before. So, he's been carrying the stress of thinking that he is about to die. That's why all of these is a shocker for the both of us. He told me that the body clock that he saw on his body is actually Tay's because they barely see each other these past weeks." I finished my explanation.

"Like his own body is telling that something is about to happen to Tay." Off tried to make sense on that one. "The last time I heard that thing was way back in college. I thought you were just pulling a prank with me that's why I did not take that thing seriously." Off voiced out.

"Or it was really New who was meant to be harmed earlier but Tay sacrificed himself instead. His ability did not malfunction. For sure New tried to save Tay earlier but it is already too late. He could have been the one who's inside the operating room, not Tay." Namtan tried to make things more sensible to understand.

"I'm confused. How is that possible? Tay, sacrificing himself for New. You mean he can also see New's remaining days?" Jane questioned.

"Only Tay can answer that question." She replied in despair.

After fifteen minutes, the doors opened and a doctor went out and looked for Tay's relative or guardians.

"I am his manager. How is Tay?" P'Mark said.

"He lost a lot of blood because the diameter of the wound is big. Fortunately, we have some blood bags for Type B. You don't have to worry because he is fine and we managed to contain the bleeding. The knife did not hit his spleen or other vital organs near the stomach. He's already safe."

The way all of us exhaled deeply when the doctor said that he is safe is such a statement about how worried are we with what happened. After a brief moment, the nurses opened the door and they are moving Tay to a regular room.

"Newwiee," I called his attention. We are waiting outside while they fixed Tay's room. "Let's change first." I gave him the shirt earlier. He looked at himself and nodded.

Both of us went to the bathroom, I went to the ladies while he went to the men's room. I changed into plain jeans, shoes and white shirt. He went outside wearing the grey shirt with a smiling emoji on it as a design.

"They already captured the suspects for tonight's attack." P'Mark informed us.

"Suspects? But there's one attacker only earlier, phi." New puzzledly replied.

"I don't know. They said they caught one in the venue and the other one in Rong Muang. They want you two to come with me to identify the assailants."

"Go, we will stay here for Tay." Namtan volunteered.

New nodded. The next thing I know, we are inside P'Mark's car going to the police station. New and I are just sitting at the backseat. I held his hands because base on his expression at this very moment, he is fumigating. He wants to face the person who almost killed the person he loves.

He looked at me and I just gave a little smile leaning my head on his shoulder.

We managed to dodge the press because we used the back exit of the hospital.

Arriving at the police station, the vibes shifted from calm to tensed. We followed P'Mark who was welcomed by the chief inspector of the station.

"We separated the two suspects. Who can help us identify the attacker of the victim?"

"I was with Tay with he was attacked. I saw his face and I can still remember his face." There is hatred with that statement coming from New.

"Please follow him so that we can start with the identification." The inspector commanded.

P'Mark tapped my shoulder. "You go with New. Try to calm him down. I will just talk to Chief Inspector."

"Okay, phi."

They informed us that the room is protected with one way mirror. They cannot see us but we can see them. We went inside the first room and we saw a guy sitting with his arms handcuffed. He looks innocent for me. If I am not mistaken, he could be around 18-20 years old. The officer asked New if he is the one who attacked Tay and immediately replied no.

"But I know him. He's that one that I mentioned before who did not attacked Tay at the club parking lot. I remember him clearly because of his fair complexion.

The officer nodded and asked us to go to the next room. Opening the door, it makes me a little nervous to go inside. On the other hand, New casually walked inside as if he cannot wait to see if the other person they detained is the suspect.

I am just stepping my foot inside the room I already heard New's voice. "He's the attacker."

Moments later, someone entered the other side of the room carrying a folder. He introduced himself as Inspector Matikorn Adikasupassol.

"Artvitasamson Thanavit people call you Art. 24 years of age and is a college dropout from Thammasat University. You failed to enroll on your second year and since then, you got involved with some gang fights around Bangkok. You were born in Chom Tong but since your parents kicked you out, you lived in different part of Bangkok." He paused for a moment. "You have the liberty to call your lawyer but if not, we are going to provide you one. Now, shall we begin. Do you know why you are here?"

"I don't know." He replied as if he is not interested with his questions whatsoever.

"You are being charged for attempted murder of Mr. Tawan Vihokratana. We got a call from the hospital and he survived the attack."

"I have no idea of what you are talking about." Hearing him talk like this makes me want to slap the hell out of him.

"Someone identified you as the attacker. Still have no idea about it?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" The level of disrespect.

The inspector signaled his co-worker beside us and they want New to enter the room. He is handcuffs and there are two guard inside so he cannot do anything to attack him.

New bravely entered the room and his face suddenly changed when he saw him walking inside giving him a poker face. I guess New is trying to intimidate him.

"What is this fag doing here?" he asked in disrespect.

"Without second guessing, he identified you as the person who stabbed the victim at the back. He even provided screenshot to our team via his manager about the execution of your plans." The inspector replied.

"And you believed him? You simply believed his words without providing concrete evidence."

"The mere fact that he was at the crime scene bathing in blood from the victim already makes his judgment believable. CCTV footage are also provided to us by the mall and you can be seen there as clear as the sky."

"Is that true? They already have the CCTV footage?" I asked the policeman beside me.

"No, we're still coordinating with Siam Paragon and they are willing to give us the said footage."

"Is that allowed? To lie to the suspect?"

"Yes. That is not considering leading. Deception in interrogation is not new. Simply put, it is like playing mind games with the suspect."

"Why did you do it?" The inspector asked.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

He then showed him the printed copy of his tweets expressing his disgust to Tay. How hates Tay and him being famous and rich. He planned on hurting him together with his gang that night at the bar but someone stopped them. So, he planned something more extreme.

"I want a lawyer." I guess he does not want to self-incriminate himself. The inspector stood up so that they can leave. New on the other hand stayed there giving him a death stare. "What do you want?"

He slowly approached the table. "Your life must be miserable that's why you want to bring sorrow to other people."

He clinched his fist but he cannot do something about it because of the guards and his handcuffs. "You don't know me. You know nothing."

"Oh no. I know something. Definitely, I know something about you. You feel empty, lonely and sad." New turned his back and started drifting away.

"You two disgusts me! You two should rot in hell!" He shouted.

"You felt that way because you never experienced the feeling of being loved." He gave him a final look. "Have fun living inside the chambers. Let's see if we will meet each other there."

We stayed in the police station while the interrogation continues. His lawyer arrived earlier and the chief inspector allowed his subordinate to continue the questioning. Moments later, they released the other person they detained.

"According to him, alias Art's girlfriend broke up with him and he blamed Tay for it. Frank said that the Art felt jealous because his ex-girlfriend is more interested with Tay than him. He verbally abused her which ultimately resulted the separation. Since then, he planned on taking revenge on Mr. Vihokratana and that's when the gang decided to gang up with him. Frank is like Art's slave and he never really participated in their activities just like what we saw in the CCTV." I am looking at him and he is just looking down not giving any eye contact with anyone. "He is willing to tell the whereabouts of his gang members since their leader is already in our custody. He is now brave enough to bail them out."

"What are you doing in the Siam Paragon then?" P'Mark asked him.

"I want to meet with P'Tay because I want to meet him and give him this." He replied softly. He then reached for his back pocket and showed us a phone. "Art wanted to sell P'Tay's belongings even personal photos because it has no passcode lock. I know that I needed to do something because I thought the pictures and other things inside this phone are important. So, I snatch this away from him."

He handed over the phone to P'Mark.

"Why are you with him anyways? He's a bad guy." I asked him.

"I have no choice. I lost my scholarship because I started skipping classes and failed my subjects. My mom doesn't know about it and since then, I am working as a part timer in some restaurants to meet the ends and earn money so I can study again. For quite some time, I was living with Art but when I realized that he is being violent and been involved with gang fights, I decided to part ways. The night that the gang beat P'Tay, is the same night I left the group."

"Where are you staying right now?" I asked.

"My best friend allowed me to stay in his unit in exchange of paying half of the monthly rent. We're located somewhere in Don Mueang which is not their territory so they cannot find me there."

"So, you are saying that you don't know that he is going to attack Tay tonight?" P'Mark continued.

"I have no idea with his plans since I left the group, Phi."

"You mentioned that you want to tell him something. What is that?" We are walking our way out of the police station.

He scratched his head, "It's too personal, Phi. I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. He is okay now and we are just waiting for him to wake up. Your input is a huge help to put Art in jail. You can meet up with him once he woke up. Do you have a phone number or something?" P'Mark asked for his contact details which Frank gladly gave him.

Frank bid farewell to us. P'Mark asked him if he wants us to send him home but he said that his best friend is going to pick him up. Just like what he said, a guy wearing black jacket and black helmet parked in front of us. He is riding a motorbike. "This is my best friend, Drake."

We greeted him and he greeted us back. The next thing we know, they already driving away from us. The three of us went to the car. P'Mark asked us where is our destination. New said that he will stay at the hospital and asked me to go home and take a rest. I told him that I will go to his place and pick up some things. So, he gave me his car keys.

P'Mark told us that he already informed Tay's sister about what happened and his condition and they might fly to Bangkok later.

Back in the hospital, Off is the only one left in the room since he told everyone to go home. The two of us decided to go home and leave P'Mark and New there so that we can take a rest.

What a way to start the first day of the year.


End file.
